In my bad temper I must've falling asleep, the give away was when I managed to peel my raw eyes - raw because I feel asleep crying - opened the street lights were on and shining threw my window.
I rolled over onto my side so I could see my alarm clock, three in the morning. I groaned and stretched as I pushed myself up, sleeping through half the day made you really stiff.
I wonder if he stayed. I found myself thinking and hoping as I rolled out of bed. Don't get your hopes up I told myself firmly. What good would it do anyway? We'd just end up fighting again.
Wonder if Caitlyn came back then?
Crash!
The noise made me jump out of my skin, and grab the banister tighter. What was that? Lets not overreact I told myself firmly it might just be Caitlyn. I listened harder at the top of the stairs there was more rustling. Oh gawd, I'm getting robbed, what was I going to do? Shane kept a baseball bat somewhere didn't he? I thought as a crept back to my room quietly no need to bring them up here.
I found it under the bed and began to make my way downstairs with it firmly between my hands like a baseball player ready to swing at the first person that came at me.
They were still in the kitchen, I heard them walking around. I peeped around the corner of the door there was only one of them and they were facing away from me, just one good hit to the back of their legs they'd be writhing in pain given me time to call the police.
I hit the light switch on, quickly. "Take that." I yelled as I swung the bat towards their legs.
"Ah, holy cow…"
I dropped the bat immediately when I heard Shane's voice, "Oh my gawd, I'm so sorry." I said apologetically as I fluttered around him trying to find someway to help. "Are you o.k.?"
He turned his head to the side while the rest of his body stayed in the foetal position, "Just…give me… a few seconds." He managed to say through uneven breathes.
"O.k." I said unsurely picking up the bat, "I'm gonna leave this upstairs."
He stayed. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I flew up and down the stairs as fast as I could; it was time to have a proper conversation with him without letting my temper get in the way.
When I got back to the kitchen he had managed to pull himself up onto one of the stools around the breakfast bar.
"How are you?" I asked sheepishly.
"I'm fine, no blood no foul." He smiled back crookedly.
"So, you stayed?"
He nodded, "I spent enough time away from home. I actually came here this afternoon to tell you I was coming back."
"Is that the only reason you came by this afternoon? Didn't you want to talk about…?" I let my sentence trail off and let my hand drop to my stomach.
"Can we stick a pin in that for two seconds?" He asked quickly.
I have no idea what the expression was on my face but it had him reassuring me seconds later.
"It's just we always fight when we have that conversation and I wanted to tell…show you something before we talk about it."
'Before', so we were going to talk about it that made me feel better as I took the seat opposite him.
"Show?" I asked confused.
"Yeah." He said a little bit of annoyance in his tone as he reached for the plastic bag in the centre of the table and slid it over to me.
I turned the bag upside down to let the contents fall on the table, with a light thud a magazine fell in front of me, there was a picture of a couple on the front page but what really caught my attention was the date.
I raised my eyebrows at Shane, "It has tomorrow's date on it." I said confused.
He smiled slightly, "Only you would notice that minor detail before noticing yourself."
"Noticing myself?" I said confused again.
"The biggest picture on the front page." He said tapping the picture of the couple.
"That's not…" My objection was cut short as I studied the picture closer; it was me and Jason outside the hospital with him kissing my forehead. "Oh."
"There's more inside. My publicist got me it today."
"They don't know about why I was at the doctors do they?" I asked sliding the magazine away from me; I couldn't stomach reading whatever was printed in it.
"Nope, they're just under the impression that you're cheating on me with Jason."
"But you know I'd never do that right?" I asked quickly.
"Yeah, I know you wouldn't. I was just being stupid before." He smiled reassuringly. "I just wanted to prepare you by bringing it here, no doubt photographers will be following you about and in your condition…I know stress isn't good for you especially when I'm not going to be there."
My heart melted, he was worried about me getting stressed while I was pregnant he was coming around to the whole idea.
"I think I can manage, the few hours you're away during the day." I joked.
"I don't doubt that you could." He answered no humour in his expression. "But I mean how you'll manage when I'm away on tour."
The moment the word was out of his mouth a lump rose in my throat and it took me several tries to swallow it before I could speak again. "Tour?"
"Yeah, I told you I was going on tour."
"I know. But Shane I'm pregnant. I thought when I told you were going to cancel the tour."
"Why?" He actually seemed genuinely confused when he asked.
"Because I'm pregnant with our first child and I thought you'd want to be here for the birthing classes and check ups." I felt the tears coming as I spoke.
"You should've told me sooner I can't cancel the tour now it's too late it starts next week. We actually fly out to New York tomorrow for rehearsals."
"Told you sooner? Shane do you honestly need the obvious pointed out to you? And if you really do I couldn't have told you sooner cause you moved out." I yelled getting to my feet. So much for not letting my temper get in the way.
"Mitchie…"
"Don't Mitchie me, Shane Adam Grey. I've been pregnant for two weeks, actually twenty but I've known for two weeks and you've known for one and not once have you asked 'how are you' or 'how's the baby'…you know what just go on your stupid tour the baby and I don't need you." I yelled before I stomped out of the kitchen to one of the spare rooms.
It was getting hard to remember the last time Shane and I spoke without it ending in an argument.
*****************************************************************************************
My words hit me the moment I woke up the next morning and I instantly regretted them I didn't want him to go, there had to be some compromise.
I walked across the hall to our master bedroom, trying to think of how to word my apology when I thought I got it right I knocked before letting myself in.
"Shane?" I asked opening the door.
No answer.
No need to panic I reassured myself he could be somewhere else in the house. I walked back out of the room to the top of the stairs, "Shane!" I called again.
Nothing.
I couldn't stop the panic this time it totally consumed me, I ran back into the room towards our walk in wardrobe and threw the doors opened.
Nothing.
He left.
