Chapter 9

There was something uncomfortable about sleep that night, something that eluded both of them though neither spoke to the other, just laid in one another's arms, both lost to their own thoughts. The apartment felt all wrong, the bed wrong, the city too noisy, the lights outside too bright. Somehow leaving that morning for upstate New York filled Mary with a sort of relief, something that would soothe her, hopefully soothe Rhoda. As if perhaps they could run away from everything. Though at least this time they would be together.

It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair at all. To have obtained Rhoda, to be able to love her now…and then to potentially lose her yet again...

But no, Mary would remain positive, optimistic.

God, she hoped Rhoda hadn't waited too long, stuck in her fear and perhaps shame around being sick. She'd kill her herself if she had...

"Mare?" Rhoda's voice whispered with the rising sun.

"Yes?" Mary glanced down at that glorious mane of dark hair which burned auburn in the morning sunlight.

"Did you sleep?" Rhoda asked, turning in Mary's arms to kiss her.

Mary shook her head.

"Yeah, me either." Rhoda rubbed at her eyes, so tired, so weary. "You'll be okay to drive?" Rhoda sat up then, moving to get up. She seemed always to be the first one out of bed.

"Uh hmm." Mary pulled herself up, realizing how very awake she felt.

They moved about their morning routine, coffee with toast and jelly, washing faces, hair styling, dressing. They packed a sort of lunch, as if they were children on vacation, and then walked several blocks to the car rental place. Soon they were driving up and away from Manhattan, across the Washington Bridge, into the unfamiliar and very different New Jersey. Mary had mapped out the route, knew it nearly like the back of her hand before they'd left.

She delighted in the way Rhoda's eyes watched the changing terrain, the snow-covered trees about them that grew thicker and thicker the further they went away from the city. Buildings diminished and nature prevailed.

They stopped about noon, buying hot coffees from a gas station and ate the sandwiches, celery, and carrots that they'd brought in the car. Rhoda seemed revived, refreshed in the glow of the afternoon sun reflected off the snow. Mary saw her girlish wiles return to her, there was a sort of safety in this trip, a suspension of disbelief for before her Rhoda was so very much alive, so very much there.

"Mare, thank you. For all of this, you know." Rhoda reached across the seat to take Mary's hand. It felt different, the two holding hands out in public for the world to see. Though as secluded as they were Mary doubted there were many people to see...but it was the principle of the thing and she realized she enjoyed, was thrilled by it.

"It's nothing." Mary shrugged.

"It's not nothing, Mare. You've done so much for me. You took me in when I moved back to New York, you wouldn't let me pay you, you got me insured, you let me kiss you and I... well, I could hardly even begin to pay you back." Rhoda bowed her head, staring intently at their entwined hands which she bounced there in the seat between them.

"Rhoda, there is nothing to pay back. I love you and I happily gave you all of that. Honestly. I'd…I'd do anything for you." Mary brought their hands to her lips, kissing the back of Rhoda's.

"Ah, kid. This isn't some pity thing, is it? You feel bad for old Rhoda Morgenstern, still the mess she always was, still directionless, stupid, uncertain…and now…well, defective."

"Would you stop it?" Mary pulled at her hand, jerking her away from those thoughts. "You're none of those things, Rho. You've always helped me, been there when I needed you and I feel like…maybe I've been negligent to things. In the past." Mary sighed, "I wish…I just wish you'd said something."

Rhoda was quiet as she stared out the front windshield. She was distant then, as if lost to another time, another place. "I do, too." She swiped her free hand surreptitiously under her eyes. It hurt Mary's heart to see Rhoda in pain like this, in pain at all ever. And so she jerked them from this line of thought.

"We'd better get going if we want to be there before the sun sets." For she felt, somehow, that the cabin was their haven and that everything would be okay once they got there. Mary squeezed Rhoda's hand, assuring her that all was well, everything was right in the world, that they would get past this little blip in their radar and move on to better things. For they were only just beginning. Rhoda glanced at her, smiled and nodded, reassuring Mary that she was okay.

They headed back out onto the main road which dwindled down into a two-lane highway, taking them past some exquisite looking houses hidden off in the woods. Mary made a couple more turns which took them past a little grocery store. They gathered enough for a few meals at the cabin and then they were snaking down another road before pulling down a long, gravel driveway to a beautiful window-filled home framed by the outline of a lake that stretched on for miles until it made landfall again.

"Oh, Mare. It's gorgeous." Rhoda stood from the car, stretching her legs, staring off at the beautiful sight before her.

Mary watched her, feeling at ease now that she had Rhoda here, now that they had arrived and nothing could touch them. Not for this weekend. This weekend was sacred.

They pulled their belongings inside, Rhoda distracted by every little nook and cranny. "Oh my God, look at this Mare! They have a window seat overlooking the lake." "Look at this view!" "They even have a hot tub…" "The porch is practically on top of the lake." "The bedroom is lofted!" "Oh, Mare. The view from the loft is even better." "Can we start a fire in the fireplace?"

Mary laughed to herself as she unloaded the grocery items into the refrigerator. "Sure we can. That would be lovely."

"I'll go get the wood for the fire."

"Uh, Rhoda…are you sure you…should in your…" Mary was met with a look of indignation.

"What? In my what? Fragile state? My condition?" Rhoda clinched her fists there at her side.

"I didn't say…"

"But you were going to." Rhoda moved in on Mary then.

"No, I just…I'm worried." Mary held her ground.

"I'm not broken. Not yet. I think I can manage to start a fire if I want to."

"Fine, fine." Mary held up her hands. "Go and get the wood for the fire."

"I will." Rhoda turned then, angrily walking for the door.

Well, they certainly were not off to a great start. What was supposed to be their perfect weekend had hit a little stumbling block. Mary fought back the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, the realization that perhaps this cabin was not the answer to all their problems.

Rhoda entered the cabin again in a flourish. Mary peered at Rhoda as she went about the dinner preparations, watching as she perfectly placed down kindling, followed by some logs and then glanced about for some paper to light. Mary handed her the brown paper bags they'd gotten at the grocery store, wordlessly, for she could tell Rhoda was upset with her, and then watched again as Rhoda somehow expertly lit up the fire and in no time a blaze was coming from the fireplace. Rhoda stood back and wiped her hands together, proud of herself.

Where had she learned to do that? Mary had never remembered her being much of a "wilderness" type person. Whenever they'd had fires in her stove back in Minnesota it had always been Mary that had started and kept it going. Rhoda had acted dumb to the whole thing. Now she knew how to expertly start up a fire. What more did Mary not know of this woman? She had thought she'd known her so well…

"Are you done giving me the silent treatment now? I see you're more than capable of creating fire." Mary finally asked over her salad preparations.

Rhoda shrugged and moved towards the kitchen. She sat down at the counter, reaching for a slice of cucumber. "Mare," Rhoda looked at her as she bit into the slice.

"Yeah?" Mary met her gaze.

"Is that why you've been so precious with me, since we went to the doctor's office?" Rhoda did not look amused.

Mary laughed, "what do you mean?"

"I mean that you haven't made a pass at me since Wednesday." Rhoda ate another cucumber.

"I…" Mary opened her mouth to refute this claim, though found that she couldn't. "Well, Rhoda…I…"

"I'm not broken or…or diseased, Mare. I'm still here…I'm still…I still need," Rhoda bowed her head, playing with the edge of the lettuce bag.

"Of course," Mary finally choked out. "Of course, it's not that. I just…it's been a lot to process. I just wanted…"

"Yeah, yeah. It's okay, Mare." Rhoda shrugged. "Look, I forgive you. Let's not let it ruin our weekend. Okay?"

Mary looked at Rhoda, really looked at her. She still looked a little upset, a little peeved with her. Mary set down her knife and moved around to where Rhoda was sitting.

"Mare," Rhoda rolled her eyes as Mary swiveled her about in the bar stool to face her fully.

She clasped Rhoda's face between her hands, lifting her lips to her own, kissing her with a searing passion, leaving little doubt in how she felt about Rhoda, in what she meant to her. "I'm sorry I haven't been more attentive." Mary whispered through kisses.

"Oh, you have, kid. You have." Rhoda sighed against her lips. "I just missed you…I need…"

"I know."

The rice started boiling, making the pan hiss on the stove top. Mary kissed Rhoda one more time and then returned to making dinner.

"It looks so cold out there, are you sure we should –" Rhoda peered through the glass to the lit back porch. The sun was setting off across the lake, night beginning to consume the scenery outside the impressive windows.

"Oh, come on." Mary wrapped her arms about Rhoda from behind, pressing her lips to Rhoda's cheek. "It'll be nice once we get out there."

"What if we freeze to death in the process?" Rhoda continued staring straight ahead.

"Don't be ridiculous. It's a short little run. I've already been out there to make sure it's on and working."

Rhoda sighed, "okay, kid. After you then." Rhoda stepped aside so that Mary had to slide open the door, a rush of cold night air flowing in to greet them. They rushed towards the edge of the porch, towards where steam rose off the lighted water surface. Rhoda discarded her robe, Mary watching as she revealed her swimsuit clad body. God, that body was exquisite, had always been. She loved every curve of Rhoda's body, her tight little waist that opened up to strong thighs – oh, how strong her thighs were. She watched as Rhoda stepped up onto the little platform, sliding carefully into the waiting hot tub before moving to its edge.

Mary shivered in the freezing night air, pulling her robe a little tighter.

"What are you doing? Get in here." Rhoda demanded once she'd taken a seat in the warmth of the pool of water. "Seriously, kid. You'll catch a cold."

"I'm coming." Mary came to the edge, stepping onto the platform.

"Take your robe off!" Rhoda was looking at her as if she had gone insane.

Mary's eyebrow rose, inwardly laughing to herself as she removed her robe, dropping it to the deck floor. Her nipples hardened as the Northern wind whipped past her, ruffling her hair.

"Oh…Jesus, Mare." Rhoda covered her mouth, was flabbergasted at the lack of swimsuit beneath Mary's robe.

Mary grinned.

"Get in here." Rhoda practically stood up and hurried Mary into the tubs' warmth. "Are you insane? What if someone saw you? What if you'd frozen to death?"

Mary was laughing, hysterically laughing as she settled into the water, the sensation of it against her body foreign, liberating, nice. "Oh, Rho," Mary could hardly speak. "Rhoda, who would see me? Out here? We're completely alone."

Rhoda glanced about then, as if searching for someone and then she was laughing, too. Not as much as Mary, but there was still laughter. "You're insane. Really, off your rocker kid."

"Oh, come on. You appreciated it." Mary inched forward in the water, the current in the small pool making it easy for her body to slide, to hover there over Rhoda's. Her hands came out to clasp the side of the hot tub on either side of Rhoda's head.

Rhoda's breath hitched in her throat, she looked as if she were fighting off the smile that was tempting to break through. Finally, her lip curled upwards and she was smiling and pulling Mary close to her, wrapping her arms about Mary's shoulders. "I do." She nodded, "you're just insane. To be out on a night like this with no clothes on."

"Would you rather I jump out and go put on a bathing suit?" Mary innocently batted her eyes, looking for all the world like she might actually dart away and do just that.

"No!" Rhoda looked surprised by her own quick, emphatic response. "No. Stay right here."

"Here?" Mary inched a little closer.

"Uh huh," Rhoda nodded. Their cheeks pressing together, Mary watching Rhoda's face, looking at her as their lips collided. "God, you're something, Mare." Rhoda slid her hand back in the water, running her fingers up Mary's stomach, before cupping her breast. Rhoda's hand felt like heaven there beneath the water. Had it really been since Wednesday…No, Mary didn't want to think anything about Wednesday. Not when she had Rhoda here, before her. So very alive and attentive before her.

"Hey," Mary slid her finger beneath the strap of Rhoda's suit. "Take this off."

"Oh, Mare. You may enjoy skinny dipping, but I…I don't think…"

"It's just the two of us." Mary grinned, pressing her lips to Rhoda's cheek.

Rhoda moaned, made no move to stop her as she pulled the strap down her arm, freeing the left side from Rhoda's person. Mary pressed her lips to Rhoda's other cheek as her fingers tangled with the right strap. Her body floated downwards, floated to straddle Rhoda as she slid the top from her person, revealing those perfectly round breasts. Oh, what Mary wouldn't give to have such perfect breasts. She cupped them, rolled the nipples between her fingers.

Rhoda's arms wrapped about her, and she watched as Rhoda's head rolled back on the edge of the tub. She looked so content laying there in the glassy surface of the hot tub, her breasts floating above the water, her hair messily piled into a bun atop her head. How had Mary denied this from her?

She knew, knew she had been scared since the doctor's appointment. She had been afraid to break Rhoda, to hurt her further. She wanted her to remain whole, but suddenly Mary realized that to do so she needed this, needed Mary.

"Oh, kid." Rhoda reached up and ran her finger through Mary's damp hair, "you're so gorgeous, Mare."

"No," Mary blushed. "You are so beautiful." Mary leaned down to kiss Rhoda. "So, so beautiful."

Rhoda laughed. "Are you going to get me out of this suit?" She finally asked.

Mary was laughing then. They shifted, Mary suddenly finding herself beneath a very naked Rhoda, pinned there between her and a perfectly placed jet stream of water. "Oh, Rhoda."

Rhoda grinned evilly, her eyes sparkling, clear in the dimming night. She looked at Mary intently, her hand sliding there between Mary's legs. "I've always wanted to try this."

"You…you seem to know what you're doing." Mary gasped, taken by the water pressure and Rhoda's knowledgeable ministrations. Their lips pressed together, Mary's hand finding Rhoda there beneath the surface of the water, making her call out in pleasure and surprise. Their mouths collided, both panting, warm from the hot tub, from what it was they were doing. Mary tumbled over first, shifting a little so that she could better reach Rhoda then, working until Rhoda was panting and calling out into the evening air, into the silent forest around them. They had lost themselves in the moment, given over to their passions, their want for one another.

"Oh, Mary," Rhoda was breathing heavily. "Oh, I've never…that…that was…something." Rhoda had to sit up a little more on a ledge, her chest out of the water, hand to her heart, steadying herself.

"Are you okay?" Mary was concerned then, worried that perhaps her deepest fear had come to pass, she had actually harmed Rhoda.

But then Rhoda was laughing, "I'm….oh Mary, I'm fine. That was wonderful, really wonderful, kid."

"Yeah?" Mary held onto Rhoda's thigh, watching her until the younger woman looked at her and smiled. She found Mary's hand in the water, taking it in her own and squeezing it.

"Yeah. I didn't think it was possible, but you…well…I guess we just had hot tub sex." Rhoda ran a hand through her damp, messy hair. God, she was gorgeous there in the moonlight.

"I guess we did." Mary laughed, pulling Rhoda's hand out of the water to kiss it.

"You're really something, you know? Who'd of thought Mary Richards would skinny dip and have sex in a hot tub. I wonder what Phyllis would think if she knew we were up to this." Rhoda laughed.

"Oh, Phyllis! I haven't thought of her in years. You know she had me come out to see her as a sort of practical joke. Oh, that woman. She infuriates me."

"You, kid? Imagine how I felt? Always the butt of her jokes." Rhoda rolled her eyes.

"I never thought it really bothered you, did it?"

Rhoda shrugged, sinking back into the water. "Sometimes, but I mostly ignored her." Rhoda rested her head back again. "I got her back well enough."

Mary laughed, "you sure did."

"Hey, do you ever think about everyone from back in Minneapolis?" Rhoda let her free hand skim over the surface of the water.

"I do." Mary settled back in her seat, delighting in the feel of Rhoda's hand in her own, resting there in the water. There was a sense of peace and calm that came with the water, the night breeze, the trees that rustled in the wind, the stars as they began to appear before them.

"I can't believe Ted died, you know. A few years back."

"Oh yeah, Mare. Oh, yes, I remember. Georgette called me. I couldn't come to the funeral, but I sent flowers." Rhoda sighed. "I miss Georgette, too."

"Yeah, I do, too. She was really something, wasn't she?"

"Was she ever. A little air-headed, but a big heart." Mary agreed.

"I used to keep up with Lou. We'd have conversations every now and then, usually once, maybe twice a year." Rhoda grinned as she recalled him.

"You did?" Mary looked at her, having not realized they had stayed in contact.

"Oh sure, kid. I liked Lou."

"Mr. Grant really is something, isn't he?"

"You still call him Mr. Grant?" Rhoda laughed.

"Sure, that's how I knew him." Mary didn't find it that funny. He had always been Mr. Grant and would remain so now. "I should call him. Wonder what he'd think about the two of us going at it like rabbits."

"Lou? Oh boy, I'm sure he wouldn't know what to do." Rhoda smirked at the thought.

"Yeah, best we keep it out of the conversation."

"You know, I think he would come around. He's a sensible enough guy." Rhoda shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah. Maybe so." Mary nodded.

They both stared up at the night sky, a comfortable silence settling between them. Talking about everyone, about old times, it made Mary feel as if it were back then, that they hadn't moved on and changed at all. They were frozen in time, surrounded by all the old cast of characters.

Looking up at the stars with Rhoda felt magical then.