Harry Potter and Bleach Crossover AU

By: FunahoMisaki

(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter.)

The next week passed rather quickly until it was Friday, the day of their first potions class which they were sharing with Slytherin. The older years commented on how weird this was considering that they usually shared Potions with Ravenclaw. This information instantly made Retsu and Isane suspicious as they both glared at the headmaster on principal. The old man had tried removing Isane from the school but Retsu stopped him by quoting the Founders Charter which stated that any heirs to the school or heirs to a throne were allowed to have a bodyguard with them due to the large number of family enemies they have. Retsu was not only heiress to the 'throne' of the Spirit World, but she was also Heiress Gryffindor and Heiress Ravenclaw which technically meant she could have up to at least three bodyguards.

Dumbledore quickly relented in letting Isane stay with Retsu on the condition that she was the only bodyguard Retsu had with her. Retsu calmly and easily countered by saying that if Isane were called back to their home for some reason a different guard would come and take her place, but it would only be one or two depending on who they sent. Dumbledore had looked ready to scowl or curse at that but merely nodded with a smile and that damn twinkle in his eyes that Retsu and Isane both knew was unnatural.

Honestly the two of them had been medics for well over thousands of years, they knew what was and was not natural about a person's body like they knew both their zanpakto's and each other.

"Ah Potter our new celebrity." Snape sneered ten minutes later as he took roll, glancing up briefly to glare at the girl while Isane tensed from her spot beside the door. Retsu was in a seat between two of the girls she met on the train, Daphne and Tracey if Isane remembered right.

"I prefer Unohana sensei. I've gone by it most of my life and won't answer to Potter anymore." Retsu spoke up calmly, her eternal smile in place while Snape sneered and kept on going. Everyone in the class knew she was telling the truth, she only answered to it once for the teachers during roll call and told them the same thing. She had ignored McGonagall for five minutes when the woman kept calling her 'Potter' until she finally gave in and started calling the reborn Manta 'Unohana' instead.

"Potter tell me where you can find a Bezoar!" Snape snapped as soon as his rather intimidating but rude lecture was done. Isane was tense as a coil, ready to spring and glaring at the greasy bat for calling Retsu and everyone else Dunderheads.

Isane smirked as Retsu didn't comment at all and didn't even acknowledge the man. The students looked at each other and most of them smiled or grinned, this was going to be interesting…and they all knew the girl wouldn't respond. Even the Slytherins knew it at this point.

"Potter!" Snape snarled again, Retsu not even looking up as she continued to read her advanced potion book, occasionally supplementing it with a Chemistry book Isane had bought for her. It would look quite strange if an apparently eleven year old girl bought a highly advanced Chemistry book after all. Occasionally she would write something down in her muggle notebook with a simple pen…most of her housemates knew that they couldn't copy from her by now. The last person that tried, the arrogant Weasley boy from Gryffindor, was left scratching his head and wondering what the hell was written on the paper before Isane took it back from him by force and informed Flitwick who gave the boy detention for a week. She had a habit of writing everything down in traditional Japanese Kanji…and since there were very few people who bothered learning how to speak much less read Japanese…

"Potter you arrogant brat! Fifty points from Gryffindor." Snape snarled storming towards Retsu while Isane was already moving to intercept him as the Hufflepuffs roared in outrage. That was completely unfair! He was taking points from a house that she wasn't even part of because he refused to listen to what she had told him! Retsu continued reading and writing down things in her notebook with a look of relaxed concentration on her face, her ever present smile dancing on her lips.

"You arrogant little brat listen when I'm talking to yo-" Snape snarled grabbing her arm as she was in the middle of writing something, causing her to give him her eternal smile before kicking his legs out from under him. He released her in shock as he collapsed to the floor before he was hoisted up by a clearly angry Isane.

"You do not grab any child like that, at all. She already told you that her name is Retsu Unohana, not Potter anything. Touch her again you greasy bat and they'll need to find a new Potions teacher." Isane growled at Snape who snarled at her darkly with a hand on her sword hilt.

"A hundred points from Gryffindor for attacking a teacher." Snape snarled at Isane who snorted while the Hufflepuffs were up in arms over it. They were literally getting out of their seats and grabbing their wands while the Slytherins were snickering.

"I'm not a student so you can't punish me, dumbass. Even if you could you're taking points from the wrong house." Isane said smirking darkly at Snape who growled and glared at her, trying to read her mind. He was forcibly thrown out by what looked like a wild Polar Bear with blood on its claws and teeth. His eyes widened as he stared at Isane who snarled back at him, showing her pointed teeth that made him pale ever so slightly.

"Don't try getting into mine or Re-chan's heads again brat, you won't succeed." Isane said with a grin of dark amusement as the man looked at her shocked but angry while the students murmured to each other at this. Some of the purebloods and magic raised half-bloods scowling when they realized what he had tried to do.

"Isa-chan. Kindly don't threaten the teacher too much. We have to stay here for seven years after all." Retsu said looking up just as Snape glanced over to glare at her. Throwing a mental probe into her head, he was immediately rejected by what looked like a giant sting ray stabbing him with its tail.

"Snape-sensei kindly don't try to break into my mind. Minuzaki does not take kindly to intruders." Retsu said still smiling kindly at the greasy haired man who was growled at by Isane, the purebloods in Hufflepuff roaring in anger.

"Using Legilimency on a minor without a good reason and proper authorities in attendance is a crime!" Susan Bones shouted standing angrily with her wand in her hand as she glared at the Potions teacher.

"Hmm that is news to me. Isa-chan if he is so willing to break the laws…knock him out. Susan-san can you do me a favor and help me contact the proper authorities? No one has bothered to explain to me where to go to report crimes yet." Retsu asked looking at the red haired Hufflepuff who smirked darkly while the Slytherins stopped smirking and instead began looking angry.

"Of course Unohana-san. I can get in contact with my aunt and she'd be happy to come and get him." Susan said, having gotten used to the girls penchant for Japanese suffix's and using them herself.

"Thank you Susan-san, and please if I call you by your first name then you can use mine. It is only fair." Retsu said smiling at the girl slightly warmer than she had been smiling before while Isane pinched a nerve on Snape's neck that made him go limp in an instant.

"You're not taking him anywhere you Duffers!" Malfoy, the annoying pest that had tried to get a rise out of Retsu before, said snarling at them as he stood with his wand out.

"Please move out of our way." Retsu said giving him her 'default smile' as the other Hufflepuffs were starting to call it.

"You filthy little blood traitor." Malfoy said snarling again as he pointed his wand at Retsu…in an instant he was holding half of his wand as the other half slid off slowly. Everyone stared at it in disbelief before looking at Isane who hadn't moved an inch and shook her head.

"That wasn't me. Re-chan did that." Isane said making everyone look at Retsu who was giving a cold smile as she opened her eyes slightly to see the boy who was gaping at her rather unattractively.

"Please move out of our way." Retsu said again, her Killing Intent gently washing over the students and making them shiver. Malfoy wet himself as he fell on his backside scrambling away from her, much to almost everyone's amusement.

"Isa-chan, Susan-san. Shall we go inform the authorities now?" Retsu asked with her 'default smile' back on place as everyone stared at her, Susan nodding numbly while Isane smiled.

A new title spread for Retsu that day as she left the classroom, leaving a bunch of students pale and shivering.

She was now called the 'Smiling Death' by those who had seen her right then.