"Mac, wake up. It's time for training." As Mario handed the youth an apple and a granola bar. "I will say this: the training's working already. You're getting a lot stronger. I can tell just by looking at you."
"Thanks."
"Did Doc teach you the Star Uppercut yet?"
"No. But I think we will soon once we move on to techniques. I'm still in conditioning mostly."
Getting in the car, Mario gave Mac a pat on the back "Well I'm just happy it's going we-"
CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNK!
CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNK!
"The hell?" Mario turned the keys of his car again.
CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNK!
"Come on."
CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNK!
"What is wrong with this thing?!" Mario banged the steering wheel. "Ugh. Get out kid. We're getting in the El Dorado."
Getting in Luigi's car, Mario turned on the ignition.
CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNK!
"ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!" Mario's face turned as red as his shirt.
CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNK!
"GOD DAMNIT!"
Getting out of the stalled car, Mario took a second to breathe and not strangle the first thing in sight. "Mac, get Luigi up. Then call Doc and tell him you're gonna miss today. I'm gonna have to get a tow."
Walking about an hour across the borough, Mario, Mac, and Luigi came to their destination.
MEGA KART AUTO REPAIR
As they went into the garage, Mario saw his truck. "There you are."
Luigi sprinted right past him, leaping on top of his El Dorado. "My baby! Oh I missed you!" He said, tears flowing down his face. "I'm so sorry I let anything happen to you. Are you okay? Did they take good care of you?"
"And that, Luigi, is exactly why you never had a relationship with a woman." A voice called out.
Mario turned his head. "Tezzy Takashi, is that you?"
"The one and only."
Tezzy came forward wearing a mechanic's uniform and glasses. "Seems like you got a lot of trouble on your hands, maybe you should just send it all to the scrap heap."
"I wish I could scrap Luigi." Mario shook his head. "It's only a car, bro!"
"You just can't appreciate fine engineering!" Luigi shouted back.
"All I know is that you better not make condoms out of our tires! That's not what our rubber is used for!" Tezzy said.
"I know you always had a thing for cars, but I thought you'd be racing 'em. What are you doing here?"
"I'm here till I get the money to go big. Just a temp thing."
"So, what happened to our rides?"
"Someone poured sugar in your tanks. Got an angry ex?"
"Nah. Me and Pauline are fine, and Luigi's Luigi, so that theory is shot down."
"Well, someone wanted to fuck with you. Anything recent happen?"
"Well, there was the-" Mario paused, putting 2 and 2 together. "Those. Mother. Fuckers."
"Got a suspect."
"Wario and his fucking brother Waluigi. They just moved in about a week ago. They opened up a rival business to ours those SONS OF BITCHES!"
"Ayo, calm down. This is still a public place." Tezzy said. "Wario and Waluigi? Those two broke one of my car windows a while back. They'd be the type to do some shit like this."
"They're gonna get a fist down their throats and foot up their asses!" Luigi said.
"Woah woah woah. You guys can't prove anything. I don't want to two getting arrested. I fixed your rides up. I won't charge you a thing for it. How's that sound?"
"Good. Good." Mario cooled off a bit. "So now what?"
"I have a few ideas about Wario and Waluigi. And may I suggest a gas lock?"
Mario and Luigi stormed into Wario Brothers Plumbing. "We know what you did!" Mario shouted.
"What are you two coming up in here rambling on about?" Wario was sitting on his couch eating a bucket of fried chicken, shooing at Degeneracy and trying to keep the eagle from eating a piece.
"You put sugar in my car last night asshole!" Luigi said. "The only person who should ever put sugar into my baby is me!"
"Ignoring that semi-creepy statement, you're the reason we got backed up on appointments! You cost us time and money!" Mario said.
"What the hell do you mean I did it? I don't even have any sugar!"
"Well if you poured it down a gas tank, I guess you wouldn't!"
"Wa! Brother, I have returned! I got the sugar!" Waluigi stepped into the apartment holding groceries. "Mario, Luigi! Wa! What are you doing here?"
"See, that's proof right there!"
"And like I said: you used it all up last night. And now you were getting ready to do it again, weren't you?"
"We were going to make lemonade, for you information!" Wario snapped back.
"Oh, Lemonade, huh?" Mario stormed right into the fridge. "Where the lemons at huh? No lemons, no lemon juice... wait. Hold on a second. Y'all already got stuff in here! Lemonade? You don't even have a can of Sprite! You got Pepsi! You got Sunkist! You got beer! You got Hi-C! Hi-fucking-C! What the fuck are two grown ass men doing with Hi-C in their fridge? Y'all having a play date with your motorcycle club later or something?" He went into the cabinets. "Not even some lemon extract! Get the fuck out of here with that lemonade bullshit."
"Waluigi's got them, right?!" Wario turned to his brother.
"Wa! No I don't."
"It's obvious he forgot them at the store. Either way, neither of you two can prove shit! And technically, both of you cocksuckers are trespassing on my property! Now get the hell out of here before I call the cops!"
"This ain't over!" Mario said as he and Luigi stomped out.
Walking back into their own apartment, Mario poured him and Luigi some peach soda.
"So, how long do you think it's gonna for them to realize that we slashed their tires before we walked into the place?" Luigi asked.
"MAAAAAARIOOOOOOOOOO!" A voice bellowed from across the street.
"I guess that answers my question." He said with a snicker.
"You think that'll get them steamed, wait until they find out we put moth crystals in their engine. Sugar ain't got nothing on that." Mario raised his drink. "To Tezzy Takashi, for showing how to commit destruction of property like a professional."
"I'll drink to that."
CLINK!
It ain't hard to tell.
