AN: Ok. Hope everyone's doing well. This is hopefully the last chapter before you find out about Rachel's past, but that all depends on my muse and the direction it takes. This includes lots of angst, a minor cliff hanger at the end, plenty of comfort, and an attempted suicide.

Oh. Santana's back story is up. As is a new poll to see if Quinn and Brittany should get their own excerpts.

Anyway hope you enjoy and I should have the next part up before X-mas.

Chapter 9:

Santana had to carry Rachel into the house because the singer had collapsed upon reaching the car. She had just given up her passion, something that defined her. Delayed shock was what it was.

Having your ex beat you up was a traumatic event, no matter what day it was, add to that the fact that she had been coerced into giving up the one thing she was really good at and you get a swirling mass of negative emotions.

The itch to cut was not helping.

Rachel had been spiraling out of control since the weekend, but had refrained from self harm because she knew the trio would find out and step in before she got the chance to make more than three sharp lines.

Santana carried Rachel's still form up to the singer's room and laid the singer gently on the bed before brushing a few strands of hair away from Rachel's face and then leaving the diva to her thoughts.

Rachel may not have moved a muscle since getting into the car, but her mind was fighting an epic battle.

A mess of emotions swirled around inside of Rachel, but she felt nothing. It was like she was not in control of her body anymore, like it was not even her body; she was just a passenger. Two little voices in the back of her mind argued over the control of one Rachel Berry.

Rachel could hear the cheerleaders talking downstairs, and silence fell at the exact moment that the battle in her head was won.

For a moment it seemed as if the world stood perfectly still.

Then an all-encompassing numbness began to spread throughout Rachel's body.

On autopilot Rachel reached into the drawer on her nightstand and retrieved a box cutter. This time the red lines on her arm took the shape of words.

Another argument was held by the voices in her head as Rachel's eyes examined the message immortalized on her arm.

Again a victory was declared, but this time Rachel's hand shook as it started towards its destination. Although Rachel was still a spectator in her own body, her body was responding to the swirling emotions that rose to a crescendo when she realized where the blade was headed. Rachel just could not figure out if she wanted to stop the blade, or make it move faster.

#RQSB#

The trio had gathered in the living room to talk, not wanting to disturb Rachel, thinking she needed some time alone.

They did not want to make Rachel quit Glee club; they just needed to keep her safe. And after Finn had gone from unwanted touching to unwanted grabbing, they had to do something. The trio lapsed into silence after a while and thought about everything that had happened.

Brittany broke the silence, brow furrowed and a frown on her face.

"Something's wrong."

Santana drew in a sharp breath as she realized that Rachel was in trouble.

Quinn just bolted for the stairs.

Through Rachel's open door Quinn saw new red lines on the singer's arm and a razor resting at her armpit. Confusion won over sadness in the fight for emotional dominance.

Santana and Brittany bounded into the room moments later and while Brittany joined Quinn in the land of confusion, Santana knew what was happening and crossed the room quickly. She grabbed the box cutter by the blade and ripped it out of Rachel's grasp.

"No," Santana said, grabbing a Kleenex, and cleaning the blade as much as possible. She snapped the box cutter shut before pocketing it.

"You're not going to kill yourself Rachel. I can't let you."

Brittany and Quinn did not quite understand how a cut to the armpit would kill Rachel, it's not like they bleed out every time they nicked themselves shaving.

Rachel just sat, non-responsive, and still feeling like a spectator instead of a participant in the unfolding events.

The three cheerleaders frowned at the lack of response.

"Rachel?"

Brittany spoke softly, but Rachel jumped and looked around frantically before she seemed to collapse in on herself, silent tears running down her face.

Santana, Brittany and Quinn did not know what had brought this on but they did know they were going to help. They curled up around Rachel and for the next twelve hours the four girls dozed in and out of consciousness, comforted by each other's presence.

#RQSB#

Rachel woke screaming from nightmares that made no sense.

Santana, already on a hairpin trigger, was standing by the bed defensively, trying to figure out where the threat was before Quinn and Brittany's sleeping forms even registered Rachel's scream.

The blondes moved to comfort Rachel as Santana looked on, longing to join them, but too wired to stand still. The Latina caught Quinn's eye and a two-second silent conversation later Santana disappeared downstairs.

Brittany ensconced Rachel in a loose body hug, protecting the small brunette from the world. Quinn lay on her side, facing them. Close enough to touch, but not to crowd, and gently ran her fingers along any exposed flesh and through Rachel's brunette locks.

Rachel calmed down eventually, but just snuggled closer to Brittany, and tried to arch her skin into Quinn's touch.

They stayed like that, Rachel relaxing until she was melting into the two blondes' touches, somewhere in between consciousness and dozing.

An alarm went off, waking the three girls from their stupor.

Santana managed to turn the alarm off before anyone on the bed could move. She smiled at the tangle of limbs on the bed and left the room, only to return seconds later with a tray of food.

Santana used the tray to clear a space on the bedside table and left the food sitting there as she climbed into the bed and cuddled up behind Quinn. Copying Quinn's movements, Santana slowly began running her fingers along Rachel's arm.

Eventually Rachel sat up, Brittany plastered to her back, breaking the peaceful tableau.

Quinn giggled and Santana smiled at the sight of the tall dancer and small singer intertwined. Brittany's frame overshadowed Rachel's as the singer tried to become one with the dancer.

Santana rolled over and picked up the tray of food as Quinn moved into an upright position as well.

The four girls ate breakfast in bed as carefully as possible, watching the sun spread across the room and infuse them with warmth.

No one talked about what had happened. Anyone watching would have remarked on how normal the four girls looked, maybe a little touchy feely, but nothing out of place.

That is until Brittany asked an innocent seeming question.

"Rachel? What was your nightmare about?"

Rachel continued to eat, though Santana and Quinn stopped eating and joined Brittany in looking at the small singer, all of them wanting an answer.

A sigh escaped Rachel's lips as she realized that not only did she owe the three Cheerios an answer for sticking with her through the nightmares, but they would also fight for the answers they sought.

The time for evasion was over. It was time to come clean, and hope for the best, while preparing herself, especially her heart, for the worst.

##RQSB##

AN: I rarely say stuff at the bottom but I wanted to put in an explanation of the whole "armpit suicide thingy". There is an artery near your armpit that if cut can kill you fairly quickly, there is also one on your thigh. I'm not telling you this so you can go out and try it, but because I did my research a long time ago and haven't forgotten it. And because I know someone is confused as to how anyone can cut themselves and die when they don't slash their wrists. Wrists are not an effective way to kill yourself. FYI. Anyway, getting off rant before it turns into crusade.

Peace.