A/N: Requested by VampireLoverD; since she suggested a Mandarin/Otto thing instead of her trademark obsession/love for Antova I wanted to write it for her. Only took me... four months or so. Hey, now, I do fulfill my promises. They're just... a tad bit late. Sometimes.


Rainbow Glory Swirlies

Mandarin squinted in barely contained anger at the five monkeys facing him in a perfect semicircle. His tightly fisted hands shook in a show of poorly veiled scorn at the sheer amount of disrespect his would-be subordinates showed by opposing him so openly. How dare they? The traitors.

And Otto – that tittering turncoat who had once sworn fierce loyalty – had showed his true colours by being the worst of them all and initiating this… this… rebellion.

Even Antauri was against him now; sending him a fairly amused frown as Otto continued to wiggle the infamous origin of the debacle – a liquorice-flavoured ice-cream - under the muzzle of the orange Hyperforce Leader.

"You cannot be serious," the orange leader said and looked extremely offended at the proffered snack food.

"Oh but we are. Deliciously so," Sprx grinned and tauntingly waved his own chocolate ice-cream in front of Mandarin. "I can eat yours if this frozen foe is too much for you to handle."

Mandarin pointedly ignored the red pilot and increased his glare tenfold. The other monkeys more or less expected the ice-cream in Otto's hand to up and melt under the ferocious glare of their snubbed Leader.

"Aww, c'mon Mandy – we worked hard to save Shuggazoom from total oblivion and the Citizens jus' wanted ta' repay us."

"If they truly wanted to repay us they would erect a statue to our honour - not name a brand of ice-cream after us," Mandarin sneered.

"What's wrong with Rainbow Glory Swirlies?" Otto asked. "It's a good name! I like it!"

"I did not undertake a life-long mission of battling the forces of Chaos and Evil only to be remembered as the name of origin of the saturated fats on the thighs of a bunch of fattened, feeble humans who spend all their time gorging themselves on snack foods instead of lifting one finger to protect themselves from Ultimate Evil!"

Otto regarded Mandarin thoughtfully for a few seconds before nodding: "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Of course. A balanced diet is essential in order to keep focused and fit."

"Oh, okay. I'm sorry I didn't realise ya were dieting."

"I meant for all of us," Mandarin snapped.

"Do we have to?—uh, I mean—You can do it if ya want to 'cause..."

"... you are not insinuating anything are you?"

"I didn't say you were fat," Otto blurted out.

"Were you thinking it?"

"I… didn't say you were fat."

A vein throbbed dangerously on Mandarin's forehead but this phenomenon went blissfully ignored by Otto. Behind him, Nova and Gibson slowly evacuated from the spot near Otto that was soon to become a Ground Zero if the mechanic kept on blathering moronically. As it turned out, he did:

"And, uh, even if I thought ya were fat—I don't!—you're not, nuh-uh. You just have large bones, yeah," Otto said in a jovial manner meant to reassure but managed to do nothing of the sort since the Hyperforce Leader now looked positively ready to commit first-degree murder.

"Give it here," he growled.

"Wha?"

"Give it here!" Mandarin hissed; he angrily snatched the ice-cream from Otto's hand, and grudgingly sat down while trying to look like he was enjoying it out of spite.

When Otto remarked that he was sure Mandarin would look adorable with love-handles and Sprx commended him for standing up to the strict norms of conventional beauty, Mandarin grabbed them both by the tails and flung them into the lake. And stole their ice-cream to boot.