A/N: Okay, so fml(dot)com. You guys should check it out. Real life stories that make you feel oh-so good about yourself. Warning, there is the f word once. Just don't want to offend.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or its characters. And I must give credit to fml and a woman named Kat for the inspiration for this story.

He's Really Not That Into You

Kairi and her brother Sora had made a tradition of going for lunch every other Friday at this little café down the street from Kairi's apartment. Today was one such day, and Kairi was patiently waiting for her brother outside. Not surprising, as he had a tendency to be just a little late to pretty much everything. Trying to pass the time, Kairi was playing Tetris on her phone when a young man with silver hair walked past her to ask for a table.

The hair color immediately caught her eye, but when Kairi looked up fully, she found the rest of the guy was pretty eye-catching too. She couldn't see his face, as he was talking to the hostess, but even from behind, the view was definitely not lacking. Kairi watched him walk into the café and followed his path until a hand appeared in front of her face, waving like mad.

Kairi blinked and looked up to see Sora smiling down at her.

"Spacing out, Kai? Am I that late?" Sora went to check his watch, but then realized he didn't have one and just grinned sheepishly at his sister.

"No problem, Sora," Kairi said, standing and hugging her older brother. "It wasn't that long. I was just people watching."

Kairi would have anticipated a normal meal, but the hostess decided to seat them a few tables away from the cute guy Kairi had seen earlier. Kairi was dead-set on ignoring him until she happened to glance his direction (not on purpose, of course) and found that he was subtly watching their table. Sora kept talking, grinning and gesturing wildly to illustrate just how Axel had managed to get his hand caught in the seventeen floor window latch, stopping only when Kairi forgot to look back at him after a few seconds.

"Kairi? Are you even paying attention to me?" Sora frowned slightly.

"What?" Kairi responded, proving her own guilt as accused. "Sorry, I uh…go on, I'm listening." She smiled apologetically at her brother. Sora rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"Don't worry," he said, eternal grin back on his face. "I gotta go to the bathroom anyway. I'll be right back."

The moment Sora turned the corner to the restrooms, Kairi found the cute guy sitting in Sora's now-vacated seat. Kairi blinked in surprise and didn't say anything for a moment, but automatically brushed her hair out of her face.

"Um, can I help you?" she asked, trying to sound more confused and less rude.

"Sorry about this," the guy said, and Kairi noticed he had ridiculously pretty eyes. "I, uh, wanted to ask you…" He trailed off and Kairi tried not to grin at the fact that he was blushing. Sora would so not believe this when she told him.

"Is your brother single?"

Kairi literally did not know how to respond to that. In fact, it took a second or two to even register that this random hot guy was not hitting on her, but asking if her brother was single. Before Kairi could even come up with a proper response, said brother was back at their table, glancing at the guy in a confused sort of way.

"Hey there," he said in a completely not awkward tone that only Sora could manage. "Can I have my chair back?"

The guy jumped to his feet, the faint blush actually darkening as Kairi watched in horror while Sora's face took on an expression that was scarily close to seductive, and interested at the very least.

"Hi," Sora said, smiling slowly. "I'm Sora." He put out a hand to shake, which the guy latched onto immediately.

"Riku."

Kairi was totally silent as the two boys stared at each other. What the hell, seriously? Could this day get any worse?

Sora suddenly released Riku's hand and turned to Kairi. "Oh, yeah, and this is Kairi, my sister." He grinned enthusiastically, but Riku didn't glance at her for a second.

"Uh-huh," he said, not sounding like he cared at all.

Kairi honestly was about two seconds from slamming her head into the table just to put herself out of her misery.

Fuck. My. Life.