Days passed and turned into weeks. A month and a half went by unnoticed. The season changed from spring to summer. Everything woke up in a fierce bloom, and I had to admit that I enjoyed it. Summer was my favorite season by far.

Adams change was astonishing, he stopped crying out in his sleep. It seemed like it was all gone, and just a bad memory. He didn't dwell on anything that happened. I admired him and his strong spirit. I wasn't quite there and I wondered if I ever would be. Probably not. He even moved out of my room and shared rooms with Jamie. I didn't say it out loud, but I was a bit sad to see him go, even though we still lived in the same house.

Kate and I grew close, and I thanked God for her presence on a daily basis. I would have gone insane without her. She never pressured me to talk, but always made sure that she was there for me if I wanted to. I still hadn't told her anything, not that it mattered. She was my quiet strength, my solid rock.

Rylan took me completely by surprise. I had expected him to be the typical womanizer, sex on a stick, gods gift to womankind. But he was kind, so kind that I had a hard time believing the stories Kate had told be about him. There was so much compassion inside of him that I wondered how he could bear it all. The two of us had become fast friends. We had a lot in common and both of us were unfiltered. I didn't know which of us were more surprised about our friendship, the Pack or him and me. Not that I mattered, I was as happy as I could be with both him and Kate by my side.

I could tell that Logan, Kate and Rylan had grown up together, it was so evident. The three of them quarreled like siblings, triplets even. It felt nice having them around. They reminded me of myself and my brothers. Andy and Amadeus had been my whole world until Adam had been born.

Tonio and Nick were currently in Sweden, much to my dismay. But I was relieved at the same time. They were searching for my lost brothers. I felt a bit bad, cause I only cared about them, there wasn't much love left for my father. Our relationship had always been strained to say the least. And I secretly wondered if he hated me for being born. Not that it ever got to me, my mother and brothers had always loved me with all they had.

My nightmares continued. I was currently outside, in the middle of the night. I was standing on the porch, my clothes were drenched in sweat, as was my bed. It had woken with a scream and a feeling of being trapped.

I stood bowed over the porch, my head resting against the cool board. Deep breaths, in and out. There you go. A cigarette was lit in my hand, but I was too shook up to smoke properly. I closed my eyes and put all my effort on my breathing. I caught the scent of pine and snow, Rylan. Great, just great.

"I once had a girlfriend that screamed the same way you do." His scottish accent wasn't that deep, but it still surprised me each time he spoke.

"Lucky you," I said and refused to look at him.

"Right." I heard his deep inhale, and I knew that he was looking for the right words to say. "She didn't get well for a long time."

"No shit." My sweat was starting to dry up, and it didn't take long until I started to shiver. I wasn't sure if part of it had to do with Rylan. He kept standing behind me, like he waited for me to say something.

"What do you want?" I demanded and finally turned around.

He was standing by the doorway, with boxers and a t-shirt on. His hair was a bit disheveled, like he just walked out of bed. There was a quiet understanding in his eyes that I hated. I hated that he figured it out when the others still hadn't. "I want you to know that I'm here for you."

"How nice of you." He heard that I didn't mean it.

"You don't wanna talk to Kate about it and I get that," he hurried when he saw me opening my mouth. "And you don't want Tonio and Nick knowing either, but I bet they do." I offered a curt nod. "But no details?" I shook my head this time. "I'm just... seeing you like this brings memories of her back and I wished that I could have helped her."

"So you're trying to ease your guilt by helping me instead? Isn't that kind of selfish?" I knew that I was being bitchy, and that I had no reason for it either. But it was so much easier this way.

"Jesus Christ Anna!" he exclaimed and pulled his own hair. "I am trying to reach out to you, you don't have to bite my head off."

I inhaled from my cigarette and calmed myself, he was right after all. "I'm sorry," I offered, and I meant it. I think he saw it, he instantly relaxed and gave me a small nod.

"Yeah, it's a defense mechanism, she used to do that too when she didn't wanna talk about it." He looked at me with eyes that seemed far older than twenty-five. "I'm not asking you to open up, I just want you to now that I am here if you need to."

"Don't tell the others about this."

"What? Your screaming?" I nodded once. "They hear you too Anna, they just let you have some space." I took another drag on my cigarette and felt quite embarrassed. "I told them not to bother you about it."

"How did she get better?" I asked against my better judgement.

"Don't know, she broke up with me a week after that."

"Why?" I already saw the answer in his eyes. He held a wrath in them that I hadn't seen in a long time. It was a wrath that spoke of blood and death.

"Because I killed the man that touched her."

"Territorial much?"

His answering smile was a self satisfied one. "You could say." I could smell the aggression rolling of off him, it smelled like burning wood, the calm before the storm.

"I get it," I said, I had almost done the same with Sam. "You don't get to touch what is mine, right?"

"Exactly." His eyes still danced with a hidden fire, the same smothering wrath. Another feeling gave way for his violence, it wasn't pity, I had no idea what to call it. "And you don't have anyone that'll do the same for you."

"No, Jonathan took care of that." I didn't let it show, but just saying the words out loud felt like a blow. It was still hard talking about Jonathan or Sam, but I was dealing at my own pace.

"And I'm saying that I could be the one to do that."

He looked so sincere, so confident with himself that I almost believed him. I laughed in the end, a broken chuckle from a broken girl. "I'm sorry," I said and tried to compose myself, "I'm not trying to be a bitch. But there's no way in hell that you'll take on Jonathan and win."

"Why are you always doing that?" he demanded with an angry glare. I raised by eyebrow in question. "You're always making him seem unbeatable, like he's bigger than life."

"Because he is!" I snarled through my elongated fangs. "Do you think I enjoy it? Do you think that I like to tell you that you don't stand a chance against him?"

"I get that you're scared of him, but –"

"I'm not scared!" I hissed and felt claws appear on my hand just by speaking of him. "I am fucking terrified as you should be."

"He is not unbeatable Anna! He's made from flesh and bone like the rest of us. He can bleed and die like the rest of us."

I laughed again at his idiocy. None of them understood, none of them could even fathom his strength. I stared into Rylans eyes, his temper was starting to match mine and I was going to end this discussion once and for all. "I can take you on, I can take all of you on. You've seen it yourself." He looked a bit taken back by my expression and lowered voice, but nodded in the end. "I don't stand a chance against him, so how the hell would you?"

"You're underestimating yourself, it's common to do so after what you've been through."

"For fucks sakes!" I yelled and didn't care if I woke the whole house. "I know what I'm capable of, I fought Jonathan and I lost horribly. So don't you stand there and tell me that I underestimate myself or that I didn't try hard enough. Because I fought tooth and nail to keep myself and Adam alive in that place. And I am not ashamed to admit defeat." I felt my sharp teeth in my mouth, I almost cut my tongue on them.

Rylan loosened a great breath and looked as defeated as I felt. "It's just hard to accept. And it's fucked up that you're not letting any of us in!" he growled and pulled a hand through his hair. "I mean you should at least talk to Kate, it's driving her mad that you wont tell her. And well Logan...he's more like Clay, he's there if you want to talk."

"And your point is?"

"My point is that you're part of the Pack now, and you need to start trusting us."

A hysterical laugh escape me and I turned my face upwards, towards the stars. "You think thats what this is about?" He's fucking insane. Fucking mental. "That I don't trust you?" Another hard laugh escaped me. "I trust you with my life, or I wouldn't be here with Adam. Is it so hard to accept that I don't want you to know?"

"Why?"

I bit my lip in frustration and tasted my own blood. "All right, you win," I growled and stepped closer to him. "What do you want to know? That he beat me? That he fucked me? Or that he beat Adam when I tried to stop him? Or maybe you want to know how I felt when he fucked me, is that it?" Rylan stood emotionless, as still as a predator. I could smell his confused feelings. He hadn't been prepared for this, but he opened this door and I was going to slam it shut once and for all. "Do you want to know that I liked it? Do you need to hear that he fucked me thorough, that he had me panting from the first to the last touch? Or do you want to know that he made me come so many times that my head was spinning and my body was so spent that I couldn't move? Please, indulge me, what do you want to know?" I was panting with effort to stay in my own skin. I turned around and faced the woods instead while I lit another cigarette.

"Feel better?" Rylan asked when he saw that my hands no longer had claws.

It took me a moment and another drag from the cigarette before I answered, "yes." My voice was quiet but strong. "I'm sorry Rylan," I said and still couldn't face him.

I heard his steps and felt his presence at my back. But I felt nothing, no creeping unease, not even a shiver down my spine, nothing. He embraced me from behind and his strong chest and heavy arm was a glorious weight. "It's ok little viking." I smiled at his nickname and leaned back. His arms tightened around my waist and I felt protected, safe, even cherished. "I'm sorry I pushed you – " he began

"Don't be," I said and leaned my head against his shoulder. "It's just hard to talk about. Especially when..." I couldn't finish the sentence.

"When he made you like it? Yeah, I get why that's hard."

I exhaled in gratitude. "He is a monster and I hate him more than anything on this earth. But he really knew how to fuck," I said and both me and Rylan laughed.

"Is that why you've been so on edge? Sexual frustration?" I nodded and he chuckled again. "Sex is easy Anna, emotions doesn't have to be part of it."

"You're telling me?" I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and saw a smile spread across his handsome face.

"I'm just saying that you can find anyone you want, screw them and then leave them."

"Thanks sensei," I mocked.

"Anytime little viking."


Rylan and I had just finished changing back. Both of us had our clothes on and were heading back to the house.

I had seen his naked chest and back and almost jumped him then and there. My fertile time was close and my skin was starting to tingle. The need to mate was always overwhelming when I was this close. One glimpse of a male was all that I took for my hormones to take over.

"I can smell you you know." Rylan said as we walked back.

"Fantastic."

"Do you always smell so...intoxicating when you're close to your period?"

"Yes," I said through clenched teeth. I wasn't interested in Rylan like that. But a blind nun would get wet if she stood in his presence. There was no mistaking it, Rylan was absolutely gorgeous.

"I mean, damn," he moaned and breathed me in, "I've never smelled anything so alluring. It's like I can taste you on my tongue." I knew he didn't mean it in a sexual way, but my body still woke up and demanded I tasted him. Which will not happen, you don't fuck friends.

"Rylan," I said in a low voice, "you need to stop this or I am going to jump you." We stepped out of the forest, some of the Pack was outside on the porch or sitting in the grass.

"I'm up for it viking," he teased, "I mean you're really really gorgeous, totally fuckable." I gave him a nasty glare that had him laughing. "And I bet it would feel good for the both of us."

"We are not going to destroy this friendship by fucking."

He laughed himself hoarse and I stared at him in confusion. "You think this is about our friendship? Jesus Anna, friends have been fucking since the dawn of time. This has nothing to do with it."

"Then what?" I demanded with my hands on my hips.

Rylan took hold of my chin and turned it towards the place where Elena, Clayton and the twins sat. All of them were looking at us in a funny way. "Because he would rip my balls off if I touched you." I looked at Claytons angry glare and decided then and there that Rylan was right. Claytons eyes were shining with something similar to anger. "And I like my balls."

"Point taken." Rylan was still keeping hold of my chin, I swatted his hand away. He saw the mischievous gleam in my eyes and raised his eyebrows in question. "But it's to bad."

"How so?" he said and stepped closer to me.

"Cause I would ride you into submission," I said and raked my nails along his collarbone. He groaned and his eyes rolled back in pleasure. I laughed and stepped away from him, feeling better with myself.

"You are such a tease!" Rylan yelled at my back as I walked away and laughed.


Nick had given me his phone, and he had a music app on it, to my delight.

I was standing in my room, barely dressed when I started playing some of my old favorite swedish songs. I quickly put on some shorts, and wiggled my hips. I started dancing around the room and sang along. It had been Sams and my favorite song, 'När jag går ner' – when I go down. It had be giggling like a schoolgirl. The song wasn't supposed to be dirty, but the way the two of us interpreted it had made it so.

I lost myself in the rhythm and sang from my heart. I felt lighter then I had in months. I was starting to forgive myself for Sams death. The process was going slow, but I was beginning to understand that it hadn't been my fault. Thinking of him had me smiling, instead of crying. Just like he would have wanted it.

There wasn't much room to dance around, but I worked with what I had. And by some grace, I managed not to knock anything down. The song ended to quickly, I burst out laughing when 'You Rock My World' started. Nothing ever beats Chris Rock and Michael. My dance and singalong continued, and I once again lost myself.

"Is there something you can't do!?" Kate yelled and slammed the door open. "I mean come on!" she exclaimed and threw her hands up. "You can dance and sing. What is wrong with you!" Logan and Rylan stood behind her, both had a small smile on their lips.

"Can't help that some of us are gifted," I purred and rolled my hips in time with the music.

"How do you do that!"

"What?"

"That thing with your hips!" she kept on yelling. "You move like a wave."

I had to keep myself from laughing. It was true though. I moved with ease and grace, something I'd always been grateful for. My brother, Amadeus used to be my dance partner. Until both of us had found better suited partners. Andy could sing like an angel, and Adam playes the piano and violin. All of my brothers could dance, but none had had the same feeling for it as Amadeus and I. Music had always been a big influence in my family. My mother had come from a family where music and dance had been their religion, which she had made sure followed in her children.

I laughed in the end, they were all watching me, all of them mesmerized by my movement. The music stopped and the phone started ringing, I smiled when I saw it was my uncle. "Hey!" I answered and put them on speakerphone. They hadn't called in two days and I had started to worry, even though I didn't wanna admit it.

"...and what brings you here?" I almost dropped the phone, I clutched it with both hands and held on for dear life. He was amused, but I knew that voice. I heard the silent treath. When men like him spoke with a soft voice, violence usually followed.

"Looking for my niece and nephews," Tonio answered in a calm but determined voice. My heart started to beat faster, and my palms started to get sweaty.

"Is that so?" he mocked and I heard a slight swedish accent when he spoke. I could still picture him in front of me, I could even see his expression. A big unfriendly smile, eyes glowing with the promise of violence. His voice sent a shiver through my body and I would have fallen to the floor of Kate hadn't sat me down on the bed. He was so demanding, so used to getting his way that the slightest disagrement brought out the wolf in him. And his wolf demanded obedience, he was the alfa.

"And who are you?" Nick added, even though he knew perfecty well who he was.

He laughed, a perfect laugh that sounded like angels singing. "I am Annas mate." He was confident, but I heard a slight tremor in his voice, I was sure that no one else did.

"Impossible. She was to be mated last time we visited, and I can garantuee that it wasn't to you." Oh god Nick, stop being an idiot. Don't anger him. Silence sounded through the phone and I contemplated screaming my lungs out, just to draw the attention to me instead.

"To who? Sam?" he asked and laughed, and I heard that other wolfs were with him. Jonathan rarely traveled alone. "No, she called it off. We were mated the same night."

"Then where is she?" Tonio challenged and I bit my lip as my hands started shaking.

Jonathan released a great breath. "She was taken, I don't know," he sounded sad, but I didn't trust him. And I knew that Tonio and Nick wouldn't either.

"What do you mean you don't know!" Nick demanded, he must have taken a step closer. I heard Tonio telling him to back up, to stand down. "Are you out of your mind!" Nick continued and roared, "she is a female, alone, in a world of men. And you left her unprotected!"

"I know," Jonathan responded with a growl that was inhuman. Which made both Nick and Tonio shut up. Yes, Jonathans like me, I should have told you. "I need her back," he begged and I would have believed him if I hadn't known him. "I don't function without her, I can't sleep, can barely eat. I need my mate back," he said fiercly and I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. Such a talented liar, I wonder what they would have done if they hadn't known what Jonathan already did to me. Would they give me back to him? "I need your help, please," he pleaded and my heart skipped a beat. How could he sound so sincere? How the hell could he be such a skilled liar?

"Where was she last seen?"

"The airport."

"What was she doing there?"

"Flying proabably," Jonathan hissed. "She wasn't alone, there was a male with her." Clever, clever. Not quite lying, and making it sound like a kidnapping.

"Any idea where?"

"We think he took her to Russia."

"We'll ask the Pack immediately," Tonio said. I wondered what game my uncle was playing. "The alfa will tell us if she's there."

"And why would he do that? He's been refusing my requests for months now," Jonathan growled and I even heard him slam his jaws together.

"The American Pack and the Russian have had a close relationship for the last couple of years. He will answer us truthfully."

"Is it true that you're lead by a female?" I could hear the quiet humor in Jonathans voice, even if the others didn't detect it.

"Yes."

"How...quaint," he said, and I didn't need to see him to know that he was smiling.

"Trust me, you don't want to mess with her. Or her mate."

"Right," he said with a laugh and cleared his throat, "didn't her mate carve up some mutts?" Jonathan already knew the answer, I didn't know why he bothered asking.

"That's right."

"Then, let me tell you this." And it dawned on me, he was going to prove that he was worse. That Clayton was nothing compared to him. "I won't kill the man that took Anna. I wont kill the ones that are keeping her hidden from me. I won't do as Clayton did, I will do worse. And I won't care who I'll have to cut. But they will pay for keeping her from me, for the rest of their lives." No one said a word, all I could hear were their breathing. "I want you to tell the alfa that, I will have her back, and I don't care if I have to take the whole pack on to get her. She is mine."

"Threathening him won't help," Tonio warned.

"I don't really care." Nick was about to say something when Jonathans voice boomed out and drowned his words. "Do you know what males do to females? Are you aware of what could have happened to her alredy? I am not going to sit around and play nice while some other male could have his hands on my mate," he roared and I knew that his fangs would be out.

"She's my niece," Tonio said back with a fierce voice, "I am just as concerned as you are. But violence might not be the answer –"

"I don't think you understood me. So let me be perfectly clear," he said with dead calm, "I will burn the world down, I will rip anyone apart, and I will do it with a smile on my face if it gets her back."

"She wouldn't want you to do that," Nick eventually said.

"I think you underestimate her. Anna changed a great deal, she's become quite ruthless." The hair on my neck stood at his words. You are right my dear, I have become what you made me.

"No, she's a good girl," Tonio argued. Yeah right, I've never been a 'good girl'.

Jonathan stayed quiet, I would have given much to know his thoughts. He was so calculating, and manipulative. He always planned ahead, always thought before he spoke. "Yes, she is. But she is an angel looking for chaos. And I am her demon looking for peace, you see, we are quite the pair." His voice was soft, I've never heard him talk like that before. So gentle and full of emotion, to bad it was just an act. "She will gladly kill the male herself, if she haven't done so yet. My point is that she needs to come home, I'm going crazy without her. I need to know that she's safe." Cocksucker, fucking cunt, nasty son of a bitch! He lied with such ease that my blood begun to boil.

"Do you love her?" Tonio asked quietly, like he didn't want me to hear their words. But I heard them alright, loud and clear. I clenched my teeth together and growled, a low and nasty sound.

"She is everything to me." I growled once more and felt Kates reassuring hand on my shoulder. Rylan squeezed my neck, it was somewhere between comfort and warning. But I couldn't keep quiet as long as I heard his lies. "I love her to death, I just want her back to say those words. I never told her...I need her to know."

"We'll do everything we can to help you," Nick and Tonio promised. I disconnected the call, I was tired of hearing his voice. Tired of knowing that he wasn't going to stop.

Not a sound was heard, except from my beating heart and harsh breathing. "He's an even better liar than you," Kate said after a while.

I gave her a tight smile back. I wasn't in the mood. How many had he told? How many trusted his lies? How many was out in the world hunting me right now? It would be so much easier to just give up and go back.

"Hey." I had barely noticed Logan. He was crouching in front of me. His blue eyes were filled with anger, they were gleaming with a new found intent. "He won't find you."

I turned my face away and took a deep breath before I met his eyes again. "You heard what he said, he won't stop."

"Kate, Rylan, leave us alone." He didn't awknowledge the two of them, his gaze was still locked in mine. Both of them left, without any protest. "Now, you need to listen to me, and damn it you're going to understand this once and for all." I kept my smile to myself, Logan had inherited some of Claytons southern drawl, I heard it now when his anger started to reveal itself. "We will not let him have you. He can come if he'd like, but we'll be waiting."

I had no idea why I did it, it just felt right. I placed my hand against his cheek, he seemed a bit confused first but accepted my touch with a deep sigh. "You need to promise me something."

"Anything," he answered much to soon.

"You will give me up if he comes." He opened his mouth and I saw a outburst on the tip of his tongue. "Logan," I pleaded, and it calmed him enough, he gently placed my hand against his cheek again. "I don't need to spell out what he did to me," I said and hated how weak my voice sounded, "you already know." He looked away from me as he nodded, but I could smell his emotions. His sadness, grief, but most of all his rage. "He will make sure that the same thing happens to your mother and sister if he comes here. And I can't live with myself knowing that. So I'm begging you Logan, promise me."

"And I can't live with myself knowing that he'll do the same thing to you again if he gets you." His eyes were pleading, his voice was fierce. And he'd gripped my hand that was cupping his face.

"I'll kill him before that happens, I couldn't before. He had Adam and I knew that he was going to kill him if I tried anything. But I can now. Trust me." He searched my eyes for a long time. And I think he understood that there wasn't anything else to do. The swedish pack was a whole lot bigger than the american. There wasn't many mutts in Sweden, almost all wolves belonged to the pack. "Promise me," I whispered and put my forehead against his.

"I promise," he whispered after a long time.

A great whoosh left me as soon as he said it. I got the urge to cry, but held back the tears as I kept my face against his. And I was more grateful than ever for my ability to lie.