Chapter 9- The talk
"Thanks, Sam. I'll get Barry to set up a few phones, just in case they start calling your 'restaurants.' I can see what paperwork I can get together on Winston Marx," Michael said into the receiver of his cell phone. "I'll call you when it's done."
"Okay, Mikey. I'll talk to you then."
He hung the phone up and turned to Fiona and Campbell. "He talked to Antony. They're going to look into him."
"That's good, right?" Campbell hoped.
"Yes. That's good. When he passes their test, he'll be a new buyer and he's in. It's only a matter of time until we get the evidence we need," he answered confidently.
"How can you be sure that he'll pass their test?"
"Don't worry about it, Campbell. This isn't the first time we've done something like this. Is it, Michael?"
"No it's not."
"See? Everything will work out," she assured him with a tender hand on his arm. He put his hand over hers with a small smile and then looked towards the bathroom.
"I should get a shower in before bed. I won't be long."
Like he would miss Campbell. It was a shower, not a trip to Istanbul. And why did he have to announce it like anyone would actually care? No one did. Well, at least he didn't.
Campbell vanished into the bathroom and Michael sat down in the green chair beside Fi on the bed. A silence fell between them. They both knew that it had been put off for too long, and they probably wouldn't have a chance to be alone for awhile longer.
"I think it's time to talk," he told her slowly. The last thing he wanted was for their conversation to start out with one of her bouts of Irish shouting. Instead, she merely nodded in agreement.
"I don't expect you to stay here if the baby is yours, Michael. You can still get your old job back and I'll still help you. Everything doesn't have to change just because we have a child together…" she practically whispered.
"You don't expect me to stay or you don't want me to?" he asked angrily.
"It isn't about whether I want you to or not. I have to accept the reality of the situation."
"Which is?"
"I'm going to be a mother. You might be a father, but that's the only thing that's different."
"What are you talking about? This changes everything!"
"How? I still want what I can't have and you're still…you. So a baby is thrown into the mix. It doesn't make me forget what I want and it can't make you forget what you want either."
"Being a parent isn't just another development in a job we're on, Fi. It's huge. People change everyday because they have children."
"They do, but I don't think we will, Michael. For as long as I've known you, even when you were a McBride, you've been a spy. It's who you are. I'm always going to be who I am, maybe a bit more careful, but I'm not going to stop loving shoes and explosives because I have a kid I have to pick up from daycare."
"Forget about my burn notice. Forget about my job. I want to know what you want to do."
"I want the same thing I've wanted since we met. I want to be with you. It's just not that simple."
"Why can't it be?"
"It's never simple when it comes to us. We aren't good at relationships. We know how to provide tactical support and how many exits are in a building, but being together isn't something we know how to do."
He rubbed his forehead with his fretful fingertips. She had a point, but they could learn. He wanted to learn. "You haven't asked me what I want to do."
"Maybe I don't want to know."
"Why are you making this harder than it has to be?"
"You might want to be here for our child, but one day, you're going to get bored. You're going to miss traveling the world and taking down bad guys for your country. Our son or daughter will know that they kept you from that. He or she will know that the only reason their father stayed with their mother is because they were born. I'll know it too. I want you to be happy. I want you to want to be with me because you love me, not because I got pregnant."
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He reached out to put his hand on her shoulder. "Fi…"
She pulled away from him. "Don't tell me that it isn't true. One day, it will be. You might think that the job doesn't matter, or you actually want this, but your sense of responsibility jades you. Your call to duty is all you know. That's all this is."
"You can't speak for me! I want to be with you and I want to be a father! The job doesn't mean anything anymore!"
"My point exactly! For the entire time I've been in Miami, getting back in was all you cared about and suddenly you want to be with me? If you really loved me, we would have made it this time around. We've tried more than once to make it work and we can't. What's changed? Another life depends on us. I don't want to mess a kid up just because our relationship isn't working out. You know what it's like to have parents that fight. It would be better if we went our separate ways again like we did before."
"You don't even want me to know my child?"
"No, Michael. That isn't what I'm saying. You can still be there, but not with me."
He swallowed the emotions rising in the back of his throat. There was a question he needed an answer to. "Is this because you think that Campbell would make a better father than I would?"
"No. You'd both make great fathers. His life is a bit more…stable…than yours. He doesn't have enemies on every continent on the planet and his job doesn't involve becoming someone else for the sake of a mission."
"He would be a good father…" he agreed quietly. "Do you…" he paused and sucked in an apprehensive breath. "Are you hoping that it's his?"
"I like him a lot and he could provide a stable environment, but…" she trailed off. "I'm not hoping for anything. Whatever happens, happens. It isn't like I have any say in the matter."
"I didn't ask if you had a say in it. I asked if you want it to be his over mine."
"Hey Mike," Campbell said as he wandered over to them with nothing more than a towel on. "Your sink is leaking pretty badly. You should take a look at that…" he stopped and saw the serious expressions on their faces. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
"No. We were just talking about the plan," Fiona replied as she forced a bright smile.
"Oh. Don't let me stop you."
"No, that's okay. The sink needs my attention right now," Michael muttered with a serious glance in her direction. He got up and retrieved a wrench from the table before heading into the bathroom.
He shut the door and gripped the sides of the sink with a frown pulling at the sides of his mouth. She didn't know what she was talking about. How could she? She didn't know what he was thinking or what he felt. He didn't want to be with her just because of the baby. He always wanted to, but he was too selfish to try to make things work between them. That could change. He'd do everything in his power to make it work. But if she didn't want to, if she thought Campbell could make her and the baby happier than he could, then he'd walk away because the only thing he wanted more than her was for her to be happy.
The water dripped from the pipes onto his bare feet. He bent down and got to work fixing the leak. It was too bad that a wrench couldn't fix the leak in his eyes. He wasn't the kind of man that cried. It wasn't how he was wired. Somehow, Fiona could find a way to make him do things no one else could. Talk, trust, love, break, cry…just to name a few…
