Chapter 9
A week had passed and there was still no reply from Colorado Springs. Michaela was worried that the townspeople would decide against her, or that they already had found a new doctor and didn't bother to let her know.
But every night she had the profound love of Sully. Encouraging her, to follow her dreams and to never let go. If they would fight for their love they would see each other in no time. He gave her strengths to fight her inner battle of leaving her family behind and start all over again.
Standing again at the window to her heart, she watched the clear sky which seemed to glow with the moon shining so bright.
Michaela was lost in thought when she felt his strong arms encircled her in to a soft embrace. She leaned into him and moved her arms atop his, melting their bodies together. Sully inhaled her sweet scent and moved his head to touch her cheek with his.
"I'll wait for you forever, Michaela," Sully whispered close to her ear.
Michaela shivered from the timbre of his voice. "I know you got hurt deep inside of you. I could feel it. But I promise you everything is gonna be alright. I am here for you, Michaela. I always will be." Sully tightened his arms around her, squeezing her lightly. "Never give up. No matter what happened, never forget that if darkness blinds you, I'll shine and be there to guide you."
Touched by his words, Michaela felt her tears wetting their skin. Sully nuzzled her neck and planted soft kisses to her exposed skin. "Oh Sully, even if we are worlds apart, I just can't see my life without you anymore. I don't know how you found me, but from the moment I saw your clear blue eyes, deep inside my heart I knew you and I were meant to be."
"We are Michaela. All we need is a little faith that our love will find a way," Sully whispered.
"I just want to hold you forever. I need you more and more each day, Sully. In your arms I have everything I need. I can't imagine what I would do without you. And it's frightening me, Sully."
"You saved my heart Michaela. You made me love again. If you can't find me, I'll move heaven and earth until I find you. I promise, Michaela."
"Thank you for loving me, Sully." Michaela felt Sully's arms leaving her, giving her a last, soft kiss on her cheek, caressing her other with the back of his hand. "Thank you for loving me back, Michaela," Sully whispered before he was gone again.
Michaela wrapped her arms tightly around her to keep his warmth and to keep the cold away that was slowly touching her skin. The moon vanished slowly behind the forming clouds and Michaela was left in the darkness. But her heart? Her heart was shining. Shining as never before.
She moved over to her bed and settled beneath the covers. Turning on the lamp next to her, she removed a piece of paper and a pen from the drawer of her nightstand. Remembering Sully's words, Michaela had realized that nothing else was more important than love which made her think about her mother again.
She had tried several attempts to talk to her but her mother had refused to even see her daughter unless she came to apologize. Since Michaela didn't want to give in, she had left the house every time with a feeling that nothing she would ever do would bring them back closer again and that there might not be a relationship after all when her mother would find out about her leaving Boston. But Sully's words had reminded her how precious love is and that no distance could fade what's in your heart. She would always feel it.
With these thoughts in mind, Michaela knew what she needed to do. Taking the pen, she began to write.
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With the letter safe in her pocket and at peace with herself, Michaela left Miriam's house the next morning.
Now, sitting in the carriage that would take her home for the last time, Michaela had time to think of how she would approach her mother that won't lead to a fight again and hoped to find the right words to express what she wanted to tell her for so long but never did.
Standing now in front of the house, where she had spent all her life, memories of good and bad times came back to her mind. The times she had spent with her father in his office, each birthday they had celebrated together as a family, her sisters weddings, and at last the funeral of her beloved father. She would always carry these memories with her, wherever she would be. It gave her strength anew to finally meet her mother. Taking a couple of deep breaths, she opened the heavy door.
Harrison greeted Michaela with a loving smile. "Miss Quinn, welcome home," but then his smile faded. "Unfortunately, Mrs. Quinn is till not ready for a conversation. She…"
Cutting him off, Michaela said with a soft voice, "Thank you Harrison. But I don't care if she is ready or not. I need to talk to her," pausing, she added, "I am leaving Boston. So, would you please tell me where I can find my mother or do I have to look around the whole house first."
Seeing Miss Quinn's face, he saw the gleam back in her eyes that always had brightened his day, especially when Mrs. Quinn had one of her furious days. Answering her with a soft smile, he said, "she is in the dining room, drinking a cup of tea. Good luck Miss Quinn and I am sorry that you are leaving. I wish you all the best."
"Thank you Harrison. For everything. Please excuse me now."
Michaela saw her mother sitting at the table, with her back to the entrance. Slowly, taking a deep breath, she started to speak. "Hello Mother."
Elizabeth had heard Michaela entering the dining room and her speaking but without batting an eyelash, she continued to sip at her tea. She had no intention of talking to her daughter.
Seeing no reaction, Michaela continued to speak, hoping she would be able to reach her.
"I came here today because I want to thank you, Mother. To thank you for making me the person I am today. Without you, I wouldn't be doing this what I am doing now…"
"What do you want, Michaela?" interrupted Elizabeth with a harsh voice not wanting to listen to a sentimental Michaela.
Trying to control her raising temper, Michaela replied with a soft voice, "I want you to turn around and look me in the eyes, Mother." But seeing again no reaction, she walked over to her and put a hand on her mother's shoulder, sensing her muscles jerk under her touch. "Please Mother, at least listen to me what I have to say then I am going to leave you alone." Kneeling beside her, she touched her mother's hand softly. "I still love you, Mother and I know that I will forgive you someday for what you have done. But you have to accept that I need to live my life how I want it and not how you want it," pausing, Michaela looked down at their hands. "And that is why I am leaving Boston." Hearing the last words, Elizabeth removed her hand from beneath her daughter's. Looking away from her, Elizabeth finally spoke. "You are ruining your life Michaela. You have everything you need right here. What are you running away from, Michaela?" For the first time, she looked Michaela in the eyes now. "What would your father think about you now, Michaela?"
"He would be proud of me because I follow my heart."
"Your heart Michaela? That is nonsense."
Michaela had promised herself not to react to her mother's hurting words and to keep it that way, she rose from her knees again. Walking over to the table, she reached in to her pocket and pulled out the letter she had written the night before. Lying it on the table, Michaela looked back to her mother. "I really hoped we would have come to terms but somehow I knew you wouldn't listen to me. I am sorry Mother, but I made my decision. I am leaving tomorrow for Colorado Springs."
Elizabeth turned around. Looking Michaela directly in her eyes she saw determination. She knew right at this instant, no matter what she would say, she couldn't convince her daughter to stay. But nonetheless, it didn't stop her from saying what Michaela had feared the most. "If you walk out that door today than you are no longer my daughter. Do you hear me Michaela Quinn?" Touching the letter again, Michaela knew she had tried everything. Before she would say anything she would regret later, she spoke the last words to her mother. "If you ever want to know how I feel, read this. I am sorry it has to end like this. But you don't leave me another choice. Good bye Mother."
With that she went up to her old room, packed her belongings and at last put her shingle and a family portrait in her suitcase. Taking a last glance around, she closed the door quietly behind her.
Passing the dining room again, she saw her mother still sitting at the table, staring at the cup of tea in front of her. Sighing, Michaela left her mother and walked towards the entrance where Harrison already opened the door for her. With a weak smile she looked up at him, "Thank you Harrison. Please take care of my mother."
"I will Miss Quinn. I hope I can welcome you back someday."
"Someday Harrison, someday. Good bye."
With that, Michaela Quinn stepped through the door and left her old life behind and for the first time she felt free. Free from expectations…free from fitting in…free from her mother. She had taken the right decision. Now she was looking forward to a new adventure and wishing she would be in the arms of the man she loved very soon.
Before Michaela walked back to Miriam, she needed to say a last good bye. Her father.
Kneeling down, she put the flowers she just had bought on her fathers grave. With the back of her hand, she wiped away her tears. "I am leaving Father. I decided it's time to find out who I really am." Pausing, she let her tears running down freely. "You once told me that each day is a gift, that each second counts and that it is never to late to take the life into our own hands. That is what I am trying to do now. I need to find that man I want to spent the rest of my life with." Raising from her knees, she touched the stone for the last time. "I will never forget what you have done for me, Father. Keep watch over Mother. She doesn't understand. I love you!"
Michaela didn't turn back. She just wanted to leave everything behind. Now she was ready to face what the future would have in store for her. One thing she knew for sure. No matter how hard it might get, she won't give up. Michaela Quinn had never giving up and she wouldn't start now.
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"That is the only reply we have Jake. It's been two weeks since we posted the ad," Reverend Johnson reasoned to Jake.
The townspeople were sitting at Grace's Café discussing the reply of a doctor who just had send a telegram in offering his service. Grace, Robert E., Dorothy, Horace, Myra sat at one table, while Hank, Jake and the Reverend shared another.
"We should wait longer. We survived without a doc just fine. A few days won't matter," replied Jake.
But Dorothy interfered, "Why do you want to wait longer Jake? Because you don't want another doctor here? Because you think you are the doctor? Well you are wrong Jake."
"Dorothy is right." agreed Horace.
"Horace you are a man, you should be on my side here," answered Jake, rolling his eyes.
"Well, I am not," replied Horace and sat straighter in his chair, receiving a warm smile from Myra.
"Horace has spoken, people. You should listen to him." Hank hat watched the scene with quite amusement. Flipping his cigar away with two fingers, he added," it might not be a bad idea. I need someone to look after my girls and you are not able to Jake" and grinned from ear to ear.
"Are you crazy Hank? Didn't you have enough to drink, or a bad woman last night? I am trying to treat your "girls" Hank. But most of the time they have women problems and I don't know anything about that" answered Jake annoyed.
But Hank just continued to grin. "Of course you don't know, because you never had a woman, Jake."
Everyone turned their heads to Hank.
"Hank!," answered Dorothy.
Then Myra spoke up. " I would feel a lot safer if we would have a doctor around. Especially for the birth of our first child." Horace squeezed her hand tightly. "Yeah, Myra is getting close. I know that Charlotte is a good midwife but….." and his voice trailed off. Praying that everything will be alright.
But then, Dorothy was the one who would change everybody's mind. "I agree with Horace. Charlotte couldn't help Abigail. If anything would happened again what happened to her, we still won't have help. Unless we would hire the new doctor." Everyone thought back to the horrible day Abigail Sully had died. Nothing could be done for Abigail to survive. Then Dorothy continued to speak. "Who else shares my opinion raise their hands."
Dorothy looked around. Everyone raised their hands, even Jake. Smiling, Dorothy looked over to Horace. "Horace, I think you need to send a telegram to our new doctor."
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Sully was still at his lean-to this morning. He had woken up with a strange feeling in his stomach that something might be wrong with Michaela. He had wanted to go to town but the feeling had intensified, a heavy feeling in his heart he couldn't get rid off and couldn't explain.
Then he saw her in front of him. At first it had put a smile on Sully's face. Michaela was walking towards him with the most beautiful dress he had ever seen. Completely in white. Her hair was down and her smile almost took his breath away. She had been so close, he almost could have reached her but then her face started to look pale. Tears were forming in her eyes. She reached out to him but no matter what Sully had tried he couldn't reach her hand. And then he had heard her voice. "I am sorry Sully." Tears were streaming down her cheeks, her eyes red. He had called out to her but she couldn't hear him. And then she had turned around and had disappeared.
Sully's heart was racing now. Fear of losing her was clearly written on his face now. Why had she walked away? Why did she say I am sorry? He started to panic. She was drifting away from him and he could do nothing about it. He was losing her.
Trying to slow his breathing he tried to focus but it wouldn't work. He felt nothing.
A cold wind caressed his body now, loneliness became his friend again. Sully wanted to start running, yelling, screaming, crying, searching for a way out. But he couldn't. He was stuck and the damage was done. All his hopes and dreams had been washed away.
