so long time no see. SORRY. ive actually been back for a while now, but i had to work with adorable three-year olds all last week for money (HECK YEAH, IM 60 BUCKS RICHER) and my life got confusing so yeah.

Disclaimer: All rights to V Roth

TRIS:

"Knife throwing!" I say. "May not seem necessary now, but this will determine where you'll sleep tomorrow, here or with the factionless, so take it seriously." I rub my eyes. I'm still tired from last night's win. I can tell the initiates are too, some have dark circles under their eyes, and Mary has disappeared again.

I describe the basic techniques of knife throwing, and then direct them to the table carrying the knives.

"Wait! Is that it? No demonstration or anything?" Jonathan yells. I look at Tobias and smile. I was hoping he'd say that.

"If you insist," I say. Tobias nods toward the target. I stride to it, situating myself directly under the bulls-eye. I see the initiates' eyes widen. Tobias carefully selects three knives. He walks to the lane, and draws his arm back.

"Stop!" Em shouts. Tobias looks back at her. She wavers. "You're going to kill here," She says, in a quieter voice. Tobias shakes his head.

"Didn't kill her the first time, not going to kill her now," He says.

"There was a first time?!" Olivia says, incredulous.

"Yes, now shut up so I can show you how to throw a knife." Tobias resumes his stance, drawing his arm back once again. This time he releases, and I can feel the knife still vibrating from his power half a foot above my head. I exhale, releasing the breath I did not realize I was holding in. I trust Tobias.

He picks up a second knife, and before I can process what he is doing, it is quivering three inches from my temple. Tobias grabs his final knife, and turns it in his hands. He draws back a last time, and the knife hurtles toward me, nicking my ear, just like last year. Tobias's idea of a joke. Em screeches.

"You did kill her! See, blood! Oh, god, blood!" She turns away and Jack hugs her. I pull the knife out of my ear, wiping away the blood.

"Em, it's fine! I'm not dead, and it's just a little blood." I say, walking towards her. She pulls away from Jack and stands straighter.

"Sorry," Em is eying my ear and I realize blood is still trickling from it. I grab my ear to try to stop the flow. I turn and walk back to Tobias. He looks worried.

"Are you okay? What did I do?" He says. I laugh.

"I'm fine, not the first time this has happened. it's fine, really." i respond. The initiates are staring.

"Wait, that's happened before?" Jonathan asks.

"Yes, now shut up and start practicing." I say, mimicking Tobias. I smile at him and he rewards me with a kiss. The initiates are still looking at us. "Go!" I say. They listen.

Tobias and I patrol the lanes, and help anyone who is struggling. Clare is missing the target every time, and Jonathan is by far the best. Soon, it is time for lunch, and Tobias and i sit together, as always.

P/B (and j!)

After lunch, our time with the initiates is over quickly, and Tobias and I head to his apartment to determine the final ranks. It is more than difficult to decide first; Jonathan and Olivia are neck to neck. Our tie breaker is a personality competition. Although Jonathan is a pain in the ass, Olivia kissed Tobias and likes Eric, so we give Jonathan first. Other than the place for first, the rest is easy to decide.

"So we've decided?" Tobias asks. I sigh. "It's hard, isn't it? We're making six people's hopes live on for a few more weeks, and two people's lives a pointless hell."

"Yeah," I say.

"But it's the way things are now. And the way things are always going to be, Tris. If it wasn't like this-"

"More people wouldn't be living off rations, wondering what they did wrong? Is that so bad?" I argue.

"Tris, if I could change this I would. But I can't, all right? We're done, so let's go to dinner." Tobias stands up, and beckons for me to come with him.

"Actually, Tobias, I think i'm going to stay here and eat that salad Chris gave us yesterday, okay? You go, though." I say. He nods.

"Do you want anything from the cafeteria? I can get you some cake." He asks, and I shake my head. He nods again and heads out of the apartment.

"Oh, and Tris?" Tobias says just as he is about to open the door. "For what it's worth, sorry." He walks out of the apartment, shutting the door a little too hard. I groan and drop my head into my hands. Why did I have to argue about a sensitive topic with him? I know how he feels about this. Tobias hates the system just as much as I do, maybe more, and I had to press into him, grilling him for a reason, even asking him why he couldn't do anything about it. I remember what Tobias told me when we were preparing for initiation.

"Cutting initiates will be the hardest part. Certain initiates grow on you, like you can't bear to make them homeless" Tobias had said. "In the year before you came, there was this tiny boy who chose Dauntless. i can't remember his original faction, or," I remember a guilty look pass his face as he swallowed. "his name. He barely scraped by the first stage, and then I saw his fears. All of them were some sort of abuse, Tris. His father, punching him black and blue, his mother using a belt on him, even his sister. She was screaming at him, blaming him for everything. Oh, god, Tris, it was terrible. Then he was cut. Couldn't get past even one fear in the time the second slowest person finished their whole landscape. We sent him out, and six months later, someone found his body in the factionless slums. Died of starvation. Knowing you caused that is the worst feeling. You don't ever want to feel that."

And now, Tobias probably hates me.

I skip the salad and scribble a note for Tobias. I need to go see someone.

P/B

As soon as I walk into the tattoo parlor, Tori looks up. She is sitting at a cluttered desk in the corner of the room while Bud, her partner, does a tattoo for Lucia, a Dauntless-born.

"Tris! What's up?" Tori says, rising from her desk chair. She sees my expression and nods toward the back. "Do you want to talk?" I nod, and she ducks under the curtain, beckoning for me to follow.

"I actually wanted your advice, so. . ." I trail off.

"Look, I've got to get back to work soon, so just spit it out." Tori says. I nod, and tell her about Tobias and I, even how Eric is tracking Divergents. I don't hold back, and when I finish Tori looks impressed.

"Well, for a seventeen year old girl, you've got a hell of a lot of problems. For your boyfriend one, tell him to suck it up. If you feel the same way about this, where's the argument coming from? You guys are just looking for an excuse to fight. I gotta go back in there, so unless you want a tattoo, bye." Tori says.

"Wait, I want a tattoo!" I say quickly. I describe what I want, and Tori sets up her tat gun. As soon as she's done, she gives me instructions and a little jar of salve I'm to put on the tattoo. I walk out with advice and a new piece of ink on my body.

P/B

When I get to Tobias's apartment, he is already waiting for me.

"Hey. Where did you go?" He asks. "I thought you were mad at me." I shake my head, and pick up the note I left him.

"I went to talk to Tori. And I'm not mad." I say. "I just needed some clarity. And I got it." He nods. "I also got a tattoo. In honor of the boy." I don't have to say anymore. We've both been thinking about him.

"What of?" Tobias asks. I lean down to peel the bandage away from the tattoo on my ankle. We both stare at it for several seconds.

"It's beautiful." He says, and I smile, pulling the bandage back over the kingfisher's shining feather tattoo. The ink is drifting towards the floor, so close to solid bottom, but not there, not ever getting there. What Tobias and I wish to be true to the boy, as well. The colors of his life and the flight of his journey were in the feather itself, and from the kingfisher to show that the boy was at the top, life full of success until its fall. (Sorry to get sappy on you, but i have no faith in anybody at all and I assume everyone is stupid so i have to explain my metaphorical reasons in detail. BUT IM SURE YOUR ALL REALLY SMART its just that my brother might one day read this and he's... not as smart.)

P/B

When Tobias and I walk into the Training Room, I can tell the initiates are nervous. Ethan is hugging himself, Clare is pacing, Olivia is aggressively picking at her nails, and Mary is in the same corner she was in on the first day of training. For once, they are all here. No one's late and no one's happy.

"Let's not waste time here. I hope you enjoyed your breakfast because it may be your last here." I say, trying to get their attention. It works, and soon everyone's eyes are fixated on me.

"Two of you will be leaving directly after the posting of this list. You will vacate the premises and never come back. Understood?" Tobias explains. Em is gripping Jack's hand and squeezing her eyes shut. Rudy is shifting his weight from foot to foot. Tobias turns and flips the chalkboard over to the rankings that we edited before breakfast, the line marking the cut from the rest.

1. JONATHAN

2. OLIVIA

3. JACK

4. ETHAN

5. EM

6. RUDY


7. CLARE

8. MARY

I observe each of their faces when they find their names. Em raises her hands triumphantly, revealing a small rose tattoo on one hip. Jack kisses her full on the lips and Rudy just looks relieved. Jonathan shouts out a whoop of joy. Ethan lets a smile take his face over, and Clare is about to cry. She starts to storm out of the room when Olivia, who has been sporting an ugly smirk since Tobias showed the ranking, says "Ta-ta, Clarissa," This is clearly the last straw for Clare because she runs back into the room, and punches Olivia square in the jaw. Olivia looks shocked, and Clare stomps out of the room, an emotionless Mary following.

This is it. This is the last time I will see them. Clare and Mary. Gone into the world of the failures.

SO SORRY! its been so long! so, how have you been? Sorry this one's shorter than the last one, but I can't make all of them 3000+ words long. sorry. BUT mexico was fun. Got to see my family, and they were awesome. All 24 people in my dads family (his parents and his siblings families) ate dinner together, it was fun, got to work on my Spanish. And I went parasailing, which was FUN. RANDOM WORDS OF WISDOM FROM MY GREAT AUNT: good luck, not that you need it, but you will rock that next challenge, so keep at it!

bog3