OH MY GORSH AN UPDATE WHO WOULDA THUNK

Genre: kankuro is a troubled teen

WARNING: daddy sas is too much

Rated: confused

Word Count: 2327

Naruto © Kishimoto

Story © Happii Haden


Kankuro was worried to say the least. It was around that time of year where the teachers at his school would have parent-teacher conferences. It wasn't that Kankuro was a bad student or anything, but he also wasn't the best. Always sleeping in class, running in late, never bringing his book or supplies, and just generally being a class clown. He made average grades though! It also didn't help that all of his teachers seemed to dislike him. His mother had always been the one to attend the conferences due to his father working late shifts. Since the divorce, however, his father could now do all the late night events at school - such as the dreaded parent-teacher conference.

His mom always covered for him. She wouldn't take the teachers seriously and tell Kankuro that his dad didn't have to know about his misbehavior. His father was on the strict side when it came to school. Living with his father did help improve his grades, so hopefully the teachers wouldn't be too harsh or even mention all the times he got sent to the office.

The night of the conference, Kankuro discovered that Deidara would be joining them. He thought that this might be a good thing. If his dad was distracted then he wouldn't hear about how shitty of a student he was!

He was disappointed, however, to find out that Deidara was solely there to keep an eye on Gaara and Temari. This meant the blond would be the one distracted and not his father. Reluctantly, Kankuro led his family around the school to each and every one of his teachers.

The first was his math teacher. She was a woman in her mid thirties, married, and quite angry all the time it seemed. She was also the hardest on Kankuro. That may have had to do with the fact that he often slacked off in that class. In Kankuro's defense, math was hard and hella boring.

As his father was invited to take a seat in front of her desk. Kankuro stayed behind with Deidara and his siblings. The blond looked bored out of his mind.

"I always hated regular math, un," the male commented.

"Regular math?" the teenager raised an eyebrow.

Deidara nodded and propped his head up on the palm of his hand. He glanced over at Gaara, who was coloring away happily, and smiled at the small child. "Yanno, algebra and all that. Chemistry was more of my thing."

Kankuro snorted, "Math is all the same to me. Boring as hell."

The blond laughed and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I'm so glad I'm out of high school. It sucked."

"Like college is any better?"

Deidara shrugged, "I think so… then again I'm going for an art degree…"

Kankuro rolled his eyes and was about to retort when his father cut him off.

"Alright, where to next?"

The teenager blinked. The older man was mad nor was he being scolded by his wicked math teacher. "Uhm… literature." Kankuro got up from his seat and led his family out of the classroom. As he did, he glanced at his teacher. She was smiling and waving at them!

Entering his literature class, he found a couple of his friends being chewed out by their parents. He rubbed the back of his neck. He may or may not have had trouble focusing in literature as well. It was just so boring and felt like it was sucking the life out of him. That's why he and his buddies just kinda… well clowned around. Why read some boring book when you could just see how many paper balls you could make into the trash from your seat. It could be a really intense game sometimes.

The family waited patiently as another boy was lectured by his teacher and parent. Sasori gave his son a firm squeeze of the shoulder. "I'm glad you take your studies seriously. It's good to know you're not a complete delinquent," he hummed proudly.

Kankuro gave a nervous laugh, "Yeah, right…"

"Why don't you sit up there with me? Deidara can handle the kiddos by himself."

Kankuro wheezed, "You sure? I figured you'd want to talk the teacher privately. I didn't want to be an influence on her words-"

"You're not hiding anything are you?" Sasori raised an eyebrow.

"Well no.." Kankuro lied.

The redhead smiled, "Then you have nothing to worry about. Now, it's our turn, let's head up."

Kankuro nodded with a big fake smile, but as they walked up he looked back at Deidara with pleading eyes. He mouthed, "help me" and the blond only laughed at him and mouthed "Good luck".

Well, it was definitely the end, Kankuro thought to himself. He reluctantly sat in the chair beside his father. The teen could feel the misery and pungent smell of failure coming off the chair. He was doomed. He met his teachers stare.

"Sasori Akasuna, Kankuro's father. Pleasure to meet you Ms. Shinozaki," his father said politely, reaching out to shake hands with the woman.

The woman smiled brightly and shook his hand. "The pleasure is mine. Forgive me, but you look nothing like your dear son."

Sasori laughed and nodded, "Takes a lot after his mother - attitude and all. He's got my eyes at least."

Ms. Shinozaki laughed as well. "Oh, yes. It's a beautiful shade of brown. Reminds me of honey."

Kankuro sat there confused. Did his father do the same with his math teacher? Why the hell were they so smiley and giggly. Was… was his teacher flirting with his dad?

"So how is my son doing in your class?"

"Oh, he's absolutely wonderful!" his teacher gushed. "Such a willing participant. I always have to tell him to give everyone else a chance to answer questions during discussions."

Kankuro sat stunned.

"That's amazing," his father smiled. "If only he were like that at home. Getting this boy to do any chores is a challenge."

Ms. Shinozaki nodded as if she understood. "Teenage boys can be handful. But really, he is a wonderful student."

"I'm glad to hear that really," Sasori offered. "Perhaps you could show me some of his assignments? He's always reluctant to show me."

"Oh, yes! I'm glad you said something."

Kankuro swallowed harshly. His teacher could say nice things all day but that did nothing compared to his actual school work. To his surprise, however, the woman pulled out a test and paper that were both A's.

"Now he does make his B's and C's from time to time, but I thought I'd show you some of his better works."

Sasori nodded, "May I?"

Kankuro watched nervously as the paper was handed over to him. Could he tell that it wasn't Kankuro's work? Kankuro could.

The redhead looked over the work thoroughly, briefly reading through it. Seemingly content with the work, he handed it back to the teacher. "I'm impressed. You should've shown me sooner," he chided at his son.

"Bashful little thing, isn't he?"

"Only with school," Sasori chuckled.

"I'm sure he's just worried about all the silly little cliques kids make up."

Kankuro nearly groaned. Cliques were a real thing and he wasn't about to be socked with the nerds! Not that they would even want him… even the nerds had standards.

"I'm sure that's it. Being intellectual is a good thing, I haven't the slightest clue why kids see it as something nerdy or uncool. Knowledge is one of the coolest things in the world."

His teacher swooned in her seat and Kankuro buried his face in his hands. Why did his dad have to be such a… such a dad!?

"Oh, it appears our time is coming to close," Ms. Shinozaki pouted. She grabbed a pen out of her pen holder and scribbled something down on a nearby sticky note. "Here, this is my number. Feel free to call me any time to discuss Kankuro's grades or… anything else."

Sasori nodded and gave her smile. "I'll be sure to do that. Thank you."

Kankuro followed behind his dad as they rejoined with Deidara and the kids. He was absolutely speechless. His teachers were talking him up in hopes that his dad would give them a chance! How ridiculous! And just terrible, honestly. All of his teachers knew his parents were divorced. None of his male teachers ever hit on his mom or said good things about him. What gives!? However, perhaps it was all too good to be true. After all, they were heading to his next class which happened to have a male instructor. Surely this guy would be honest.

He sat next to his dad once more when it was their turn. His teacher was what Kankuro would call a manly man. He had big muscles and a beard that rivaled a lumberjack's. This man didn't take shit from anyone and most certainly would not lie for him.

"Afternoon," his father started, "Sasori Akasuna. Kankuro's father."

The man shook his hand, seeming a little surprised. "Yoshino. Nice to finally meet you."

"You as well. I've heard quite a bit about you from my son."

"All good things I hope."

Sasori laughed, "If there's one thing I taught my children it's to respect others. Especially those who take their time and compassion to teach or care for them."

Kankuro sat flabbergasted as his father schmoozed his way into his science teacher's stone cold heart. He had never once seen the burly man crack a smile, but here he was! Laughing and having a good time. As if he were talking to a long lost lover.

What astounded him even more was the fact that this teacher had went out of his way to lie as well. The teenager had no interests in science and only slept through this class as he had no friends to goof around with.

"I'd always hope he'd pick up on this kind of material," his father hummed. "After all, I am a pharmaceutical scientist. I've been teaching him these kinds of things since he was young."

The burly teacher nodded And seemed genuinely interested. "Science is a very important subject most kids look over."

Kankuro was so over this. Once his father finished up his meeting with the science teacher, the teenager decided to hang back once again. He stayed next to Deidara, the two just casually talking. The blond wasn't that bad when he wasn't stuck up his father's ass. In fact, Deidara told some damn hilarious stories about his father that he didn't know about.

The rest of the evening went well for them. Surprisingly Kankuro wasn't grounded by the end of the night and his father was impressed with his grades. The teenager was kinda glad that his father was good looking enough to distract his teachers.

The next day at school was terrible. Many of his teachers ended up bitching him out, telling him he needed to make better grades so that when they talked his father next time it wouldn't be a lie. Granted, Kankuro knew these ladies had no chance with his father, he wasn't sure how long they'd continue to lie for him. Guess it was time to find a study buddy.

One teacher was different. Once the bell had rang, his teacher had summoned him to her desk for what he assumed to be another lecture. She gave him a pointed look.

"Now, Kankuro, I'm sure that the other teachers have told you already. You need to try harder in your classes."

The teenager sighed and nodded. Of course all of Kankuro's teachers had a fan club meeting about his dad.

"I know being in a relationship can be very distracting, but you need to learn to balance your time between school and your boyfriend."

Kankuro nodded.

Then it hit him.

"Wh-Wh… wait what? Boyfriend!?"

His teacher scolded him, "There is no need to scream, young man. Yes, your boyfriend. The one with the blond hair. While, I admit that he does have some very defining features, you should not let that distract you."

Kankuro stood up flustered, the chair scraping across the floor. "No, No! You got it all wrong! Deidara is not my boyfriend! Hell-"

"Language!" his teacher snapped. "Forgive me if I misgendered her then. She had a very boyish… uhm charm? Is that rude to say?"

The teenager stared in disbelief.

"Regardless of gender, don't let your relationship get in the way of school."

Kankuro pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, I'm not gay…"

"I'm not here to judge, Kankuro."

The teenager groaned, "Please, no, just listen. I'm not gay and I'm not dating Deidara. He's dating my dad."

His teacher's eyes widened. "Your dad is dating her? Isn't she a bit young… Oh my," she muttered. "It's always the young and pretty ones. How unfair…"

Kankuro shook his head. "No! You're missing the point! Deidara is a DUDE. D-U-D-E. My dad is gay! He's the one into men! Not me!"

His teacher stared in disbelief. "No… you're kidding…"

"Oh, believe me I'm not! That blond brat is getting more action than any of us." Kankuro rubbed his face in embarrassment.

The woman stayed quiet.

"...Can I go now?"

She stared at him with a perplexed face. "So… he's really gay? Not bi?"

Kankuro checked his phone then looked at her. "Well, it's my dad's day off, so I'm pretty sure he's sucking dick right now."

"Language! Geez," she coughed. "Damn…"

"Language?" the teenager tried.

His teacher glared at him. "Well that sucks… it's always the good looking ones, I swear."

"Yep. Always. Seriously can I go now?"

"Yes, yes," his teacher sighed. "One last thing," she started.

Kankuro groaned, "Yes?"

"Are you sure you're not gay?"

At that, Kankuro left the classroom without another word. Oh boy, did he have a story to tell to Deidara later. He was sure the blond would get a kick out of it.