Chapter 18 – The Kiss
Wednesday, September 23, 1987
Today, Ben was truly back – not just physically, but emotionally. He had called me in the morning to tell me to come in early so we could see one another. As fate would have it, the moment I stepped out of my car, I saw Ben walking down the next row.
"Ben! Ben!" I shut the door to my car with my hip and waved my hand over my head in an effort to seen above the cars and truck.
Ben paused and looked around, but like a hawk narrowing in on its prey, he targeted me with his eyes and smiled. He waved, but it morphed into a come-this-way gesture.
"Morning, Bella," he said once I joined him. He slipped an arm around my shoulder and led me towards the entrance. He took particular care to make sure that I maneuvered through the parking lot without tripping.
My heart melted in my chest the moment he said my name, but his touch brought my blood to a boil. He caressed my shoulder for a second with the tips of finger, but then one determined finger readjusted the strap of my backpack. The trail of his tender touch tempted me so. I had to fight my urge to seek out a kiss. I should have been embarrassed that he had to help me avoid tripping, but instead I was thrilled to have him so close to me.
"Good Morning," my voice was hoarse from both the early hour and from desire. Simultaneously, I massaged the front of my neck and cleared my throat. "How are you today?" The words came out clear, but laced with an undying urgency.
"Much better now that I have found you." He nuzzled the top of my head with his chin as we stepped up from the driveway and onto the sidewalk leading towards the school.
"Wait up, Bella. Wait up!"
We turned to see Mike and Eric walking across the parking lot. Eric wore an expression of fanatical gleam as he waved.
"I suppose it would be rude just to keep walking," I sighed so that only Ben could hear.
"Perhaps a little, but I'd understand." I could hear the smile in Ben's voice.
We only had a few minutes left before school started and I had hoped to spend it alone with Ben, but privacy is a luxury at school. I waited as the others approached us and politely greeted them.
The breeze way was filling up with other students now, but we still managed to walk four abreast down the covered walkway. Fumbling over topics of conversation, the four of us entered the institutional style building. Mike was better at gabbing and talked about some comedy show he'd watched last night. Eric and Ben laughed and laughed. The humor was lost on me since I had neither seen the show nor I was I completely versed in 80s culture just yet.
They looked at me as if wondering why I wasn't laughing. "Sorry, I don't watch much TV," I said as I thumped my book, "I read, remember?"
The lie wasn't entirely true. I did watch TV, but I hadn't watched much from this time frame. I'd been too busy lately to watch TV. My lips curled up at that thought. In the future, I'd spent most of my time immersed in stories – either from books or TV – but here in the past I was too busy. I actually had life now.
"What are you thinking?" Ben stroked the edges of my smile and I could feel myself blushing.
"Nothing," I lied. I did my best to clear my head and pay attention to my surroundings, but with Ben touching me it was hard.
The halls were crowded with students as we made our way to the commons where an even larger number of people congregated. The drone of voices reverberated off the bland walls that were covered with brightly hand painted pieces of butcher paper. Slogans like Beat Creek and Go, Fight, Win besmeared the cheap paper canvas. Honestly, the signs did nothing to incite school spirit into me though.
I groaned when I saw the morning's chaos and homemade banners.
Each of the four the brick columns were wrapped in layers of ribbons. Trinkets like bears, footballs, and Mardi Gras beads dangled from the midst of ribbons. Boys had gathered underneath collage and were jumping to see who could reach high enough to touch the ribbons.
Football players had a whole quarter of the commons to themselves though. Standing on chairs with their hands raised in the air, they were chanting and pumping their fists. Some were even dancing. A group of preps were gathered around them egging them.
Cheerleaders, meanwhile, were divided and separated into quadrants along every corridor. Their only tasks – to accost students with homecoming pins and flyers and to shout: Go Falcons!
I rolled my eyes as the scene played out before me. The school was alive with excitement today and all because of some silly appending game. I took in a deep breath and tried to ignore it all, but it was a futile effort. I couldn't block out the madness.
I cringed at the overwhelming display of school spirit. As we passed our first cheerleader, Eric shuffled his feet and crossed in front of me in an effort to get away. I nearly tripped into him, but Ben reigned me in the way he would a nervous horse. His thigh stiffened against mine and his arm and hand held onto me. It felt so nice too! I suppose I could have been mad at Eric. Cutting across me the way he had was dangerous not only to me but to those around me. But honestly, I didn't mind bumping into Ben, so I couldn't really be mad at Eric.
Eric mumbled an apology, but kept his head down. I wondered what his problem was. That wasn't like him. He was usually so self-assured. I noticed that his shoulders were drawn a little closer and he looked nervous. I was concerned about him, but didn't know what to say.
As we headed towards the commons, I did ask if he were okay.
He nodded, but his eyes darted towards the cafeteria. I followed his gaze.
It was packed to the rafters this morning. There was lots of animated chatter as if everyone was waiting for something important to happen. Excitement hung in the air like cheap drug store perfume that just won't dissipate. Even if we had wanted to, I don't think we could have found a place to sit.
"Let's just head to class," Eric mumbled as he avoided another cheerleader. He pressed his binder into his chest like a shield and kept his eyes glued on the floor.
Mike slipped an arm around Eric's shoulder, "They are not going to prank you, Eric. Lauren said the cheerleaders weren't pranking anyone from Chess Club this year and if they did, it wouldn't be you because we are friends."
"Oh my gosh! Really?! They do that? Prank people? That's terrible! High School is hell." I blurted out as I stared behind me at the fair headed, freckled faced cheerleader passing out pins.
"Tradition." Mike said.
"It's a stupid tradition," I insisted. My hands were clutched around the strap of my bag. I wanted to rip it off and pelt the bubbly blond in the freckles as she hugged one of the passing football players. I turned to Eric and patted him on the back. "It'll be okay. Won't it Ben? You'll talk with them."
"Lauren gave me her word. The cheerleaders won't mess with Eric," Mike promised. He muscled his way through the throngs of kids waiting in line to buy sodas from the vending machines.
"Then she won't," Ben agreed.
I wasn't so sure I trusted Lauren the way Mike and Ben did. For starters, I didn't even know her, so how could I trust her? And then I worried she might do something mean to Eric because he and I were friends. Being cruel to my friends because she didn't like me seemed like something a mean girl would do and for what I could tell, she was a mean girl.
"I'm just going to avoid those girls today," Eric said as he quickened his pace. "Get from one class to the other as quickly as possible. Stay in groups. Avoid my locker. That sort of thing."
"That's ridiculous."
"Don't make a big deal out of it, Bella," Ben said.
I balled my fist. For the first time, I wanted to punch Ben. "Don't make a big deal out of this? Eric is scared to walk anywhere near these girls. That's not right."
"Ben's right," Eric agreed, "Talking with them at this point could make it worse. Mike has already talked with them. Lauren has given her word. If we question them, they might get mad at us and the whole deal is off. I'm just avoiding them to be extra safe. It's only one day. Please, Bella. Let Mike handle this."
Mike nodded.
The bell rang like a warning.
My chest felt tight and my ears hot. If I were a cartoon, I'd probably have steam coming out of my ears in white puffy clouds.
I looked at Mike and then Ben. "Don't let anything happen to Eric or his friends."
"Yes ma'am," Mike replied with a friendly salute.
Ben gave me a gentle squeeze, but didn't reply.
We walked silently to class now that our mood had been dampened. I was still fuming. Eric slinked from cheerleader to cheerleader with his head down avoiding eye contact.
I tried counting to ten to calm down, but with each passing breath, I kept thinking about Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. Miss Bennett hated the silly restraints of the upper crust society and all their ridiculous rules – the story of class lines seemed oddly like high school cliques at the moment.
My anger took a turn for the worst when I noticed that straight ahead was Lauren, Ben's gorgeous ex-girlfriend. She blocked my path like a smiling man-eating sphinx. She was in my hallway. The one leading to my English class. This had never happened before. Our paths had never crossed like this. I wasn't liking this. I didn't want our paths to cross at this time; not when I was this mad. I wasn't sure I could just walk by without saying anything to her, but I knew I should for Eric's sake.
She dutifully passed out homecoming flyers to anyone within a five person radius of her. A smile as big as the Continental United States was plastered across her face. But anything that big had to be fake. She was dressed in her cheerleader uniform which was supposed to instill unity and school spirit, but in me, it induced a sense of inadequacy. I had to admit that she looked good even if she was evil incarnate.
Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail with a big red bow. She looked stunning. The short skirt showed off her supple legs nicely. Again, all I could think was that I just didn't measure up.
"Mike," she squealed and bounced up to him with her ponytail swishing from side to side. Her bright red lips were stretched into that phony large smile of hers. She handed him a flyer and then gave him a hug. "You look nice today."
Eric shied away from her, but she let go of Mike and reached out for him and then drew him into a forced hug. "We have a truce this year with the Chess Club, Eric. You have nothing to worry about."
"You think we can get that same truce for next year?" Eric asked.
She patted him on the back. "I think so. Times are changing. The whole cheerleaders pranking chess clubs, is so childish."
She then let go of Eric and drew Ben into a hug. As she hugged Ben, she glared at me with narrowed eyes.
She let Ben go and then handed me a flyer. "Homecoming is a busy week, Bella. I hope you will be able to make some of the activities." She didn't sound like she meant it. "And don't forget to wear school colors on Friday to show support for our football team." She hugged Ben again. "Our boys deserve the best," she said with an arm intertwined with Ben's.
"They do," I agreed, "But I think they also like a challenge."
I walked past her and towards my class.
Ben followed after me. "Something going on between you two?"
"Catfight."
Ben frowned, "Why?"
I shrugged past him into our class, "I think she still likes you. And she certainly doesn't like me."
He followed close at my heels, "Really?"
"Don't worry. I think she and I have an understanding."
He looked at me. "Girls are weird."
"You think?! That's why I don't usually do this sort of thing. Date. Or even talk with lots of people. It's too confusing. Books are much easier to navigate and understand."
Ben steered me towards a desk and took my backpack from me. He was such a gentleman at times. "Life doesn't have to be that complicated."
"Life is always complicated. Mine even more so . . . ." I lowered my voice, "I have told you things, and have decided that it was only fair my dad and the others know too. I think life is going to get pretty bumpy."
Ben nodded evenly and took my hand. Then in a lowered voice, he replied, "I understand. It is only fair. But you are right. It does complicate things for us though."
"It does," I agreed.
"But I'm not giving up on you." His voice was still hushed.
I sighed.
"Come on." He stood up.
"Where are we going? Class is about to start."
"Outside. I think we should talk."
"Now? We'll get in trouble."
"Just come on. It's Homecoming week. No one is going to get in trouble."
I doubted him, but reluctantly followed him outside anyways.
"What is it, Ben?"
People were still walking along the sidewalk, so he led me further away from the building and towards a series of oak trees that were in the midst of shedding acorns. Jessica and group of smokers were further down the lane in the smoking section at the back of the building near the woods. She waved at us and blew a smoky kiss in our direction. Gary was with her and spun in her into a full bodied hug as he grabbed her ass.
"Bella, I really like you." His voice was barely audible now as someone passed us by, "And it is not because of your magical powers."
I stared at him unbelieving. "Are you sure it's not?"
"You like me don't you, Bella?"
"You know I do."
"Even though. I have my own . . . issues?"
"Even though."
"Same." He was smiling at me. "We are partners in this. I'm not saying anything will be easy for us, but you and I are smart and tough. We will get through this together. Besides it's not like either of us are you know members. So why should it matter?"
"Because our parents are."
"That's their problem, not ours." He was now leaning against the base of a large oak and pulled me on top of him.
"Ben!" His words and his actions surprised me. I was resting on top of him now with his hands running the length of my hair. I felt as if I were on fire.
The warning bell rang. Or maybe that was my ears.
"Maybe we get our parents and even the other members together?" Ben pondered as he brushed the hair from my face. I could his feel his muscles ripple with his every muscle and body quivered in response.
"That would probably be a good idea. Work out a truce. But I don't know. Lots of secrets." My words were a little slurred and extremely hoarse. I was having a hard time focusing. He was so close to me and his presence was messing with my head. I couldn't concentrate. At this point I would have agreed to anything though.
"And traditions. But I don't want to give you up." His hand grazed my cheek and trailed down my jawline and onto the nape of my neck. His touch burned into my skin and again my body quivered. God, how I wanted him.
He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. They were soft, but powerful. His arms, so sure and solid, were around me now like a protective barrier. I wanted this. I wanted him. I grabbed his ponytail and pulled him closer. Our lips parted and it was as if the sky itself had ripped apart. I had to have more. We melted into one another again like rain into puddles as our lips met. My blood surged like lightning and my heart explode like thunder as I inhaled the subtle hint of his aftershave. I was dizzy now; spinning like a tornado out of control, but his arms circled me and kept me safe. I had never felt anything like this before. Ever. His kisses were harder, faster now. My body dissolved into his as the world around us slipped away, but the storm of our desire brew deeper within us.
I felt a tugging sensation on my arm that didn't seem right. But I was lost in the moment. The kisses kept coming. Faster. Harder. More persistent. And yet the tugging was still there. Still the kisses came – one after the other. One. Two. Three. The tugging grew more insistent however. Four. Five. Six. I felt as if I were caught now between two worlds. Seven. Eight. Nine. . . . The tugging continued until Ben at last pulled away.
Jessica and Gary were there with us now. Jessica's hand was latched around my arm. The tugging feeling remained a moment longer and then vanished as she released me.
"Either go to class or get a room," Gary manhandled Ben towards the school. The two were locked arm in arm. Ben looked as confused as me.
"We're all late now. Might as well skip," Sparks held up her half empty carton of cigarettes and shook them near my face. "Come on, Bella. I'll teach you how to smoke."
"No. I'm going back to class," I straightened my hair and headed for the door. The moment was ruined, but I was still longing for more. I looked at Ben. "Are you coming too?"
Gary said something crude and Jessica laughed.
I could feel myself flushing. I could only imagine what Gary had said. Then I still had residual longings. I wanted more kisses, but now was not the time. Still my desire was so strong it hurt - not a sharp pain, but a dull, throbbing pain – almost a yearning.
Ben shoved Gary and then hurried to catch up to me. We walked back to class in silence. The ghost of his kisses still haunted my lips and every step I took reminded me of his seeking touch.
Class passed slowly with him by my side as did the rest of the day without him. Lunch, while pleasant, was also a struggle. We sat together at lunch, but although we held hands, we didn't kiss. I couldn't keep my eyes off his lips though, and I wanted to cut every word off with a kiss. If anyone else sat with us, I wouldn't have known. I could only think of Ben.
"Bella," Ben squeezed my hand.
"I'm sorry what?" I was staring at his lips and remembering our kiss. My PB&J sandwich was pushed to the side untouched.
"I said let's get our parents together on Sunday for lunch or maybe dinner. Do you think your dad will be free?" He took a sip from his soda, and I could smell the sugar and bubbles as he replaced the can on the table.
"He's been pretty busy, but yes. I am sure we can make one of those." I traced my finger on the back of his hand.
"At my place?" Ben's hand rolled over and took my hand into his.
"Yes, if your parents are okay with that of course then."
Ben's lips coiled up into a wry smile, but his eyes narrowed and scrutinized me. He tapped the top of his can with a free finger, "Are you really listening to me?"
"Barely. But I am." I admitted, but then repeated, "Lunch or dinner. Your place. Sunday."
He smiled and then leaned in to kiss my forehead. His lips moved softly across my forehead and I heard him whisper. "I look forward to kissing you again, but in case you haven't noticed, the bell to dismiss us to class as already rung. It's time for us to go."
It was at this point, I realized that commons were nearly empty of people.
He took my hand and helped me up. We gathered our trash and tucked it into our paper sacks. He took my trash from me and tossed one after the other into a nearby trashcan. Both bags made it.
"You would have made a good quarterback."
"I'm alright." He took my hand into his again, "But I'm better at running towards something I want than I am at throwing things away."
I stared at him. He said the darnedest things.
"Come on. We're going to be late for another class," He led down the hall and we exited the commons together. "I will see you after school at the parade."
"I look forward to it."
"Me too!" He kissed me one parting time quickly on the lips.
It wasn't enough, but it would have to do.
Had it not been for Ben, I could have done without the Homecoming parade. Throngs of adults and little kids lined the street leading up to our school. The air smelled strongly of goldfish and apple juice and I was wondering if I were in a daycare. Ben led me further from the family section until we found a large group of teens who weren't participating in the parade. The cloud of smoke wafting off this group pressed us even further down the line. Eventually we meet up with Angela, Eric, and several other chess club kids.
"I'm glad to see you made it to the parade this year," Ben said.
Eric was all smiles again. "I think Lauren is really holding up her end of the bargain."
"It's brave that you are here," I smiled. "I'm proud of you."
"Only one way to find out if she really means to not prank us and that is by showing up. I have to admit it though, this parade is pretty lame. Not sure I would bother with it next year. It's more of a little kid thing."
Eric was right. The parade was a little disappointing. It was mostly just trailer loads of kids from different school activities throwing out trinkets and candy. The band and football players had to march because there were too many of them for trailers. The band played loudly as they marched while the football players threw out mini foam footballs. The cheerleaders, however, rode on firetrucks and waved their pom-poms. From time to time they would toss out buckets of candy to those of us watching.
Lauren threw candy at me. Hard. She pelted it at me like she was a softball pitcher and the smile upon her face was pure evil.
I had to cover my face with my arms. "Ow! Does she play softball?"
"Are you sure about that understanding?" Ben asked. He picked a piece of candy out of my hair.
I lowered my arms as the firetruck passed. "I didn't say we trusted each other or would be nice. We just understood one another. And if we cross one another things could get ugly. She has her agenda and I have mine, but I think we'll be okay as long as we don't get in one another's way."
"What are you talking about?" He took me in his arms and swung me so that I faced him. I was aware of just how close we were. His hands were on the small of my back and I slipped mine around his neck and I twisted my fingers into his ponytail.
"I plan to keep you. She can have the other boys." I pulled his head towards my own.
He jerked his head back, "I'm a prize?"
"Aren't you?"
He laughed. "Girls!"
"Boys!" I said, but his mouth found mine and swallowed up anything else I had to say. And then we were kissing. His lips pressed to mine like pages of a book and his fingers traced the curve of my spine.
Eager for the rest of the story, I opened my mouth for more.
He pulled away. "Sorry. I can't help myself around you. But I suppose now's not really the time."
I nodded. Our friends were around us, but were politely ignoring us by watching the parade.
"But I'm glad that you want me too. And you have nothing to worry about with Lauren. She's not the one I want." He fondled my chin.
"I know," I blushed and cupped his hand with my own, "And at least she kept her word with Mike and didn't start anything with Eric."
"She's not really evil," Ben promised. His finger trailed the edges of my jaw.
"A cheerleader that's not evil? Is that even possible?"
He laughed as he removed his hand from my face. "It is in my time. I don't know about the future."
"Okay. They aren't all that bad in the future either. Like anything, it just depends on the person."
"I'm glad to see your prejudices are wearing off."
I didn't respond. I fingered the lyre charm dangling around my neck. Until Lauren, I'd never really interacted with a cheerleader. I'd never interacted with anyone really. Most of my time was spent lost in books. I only knew of people from books and often times those characters were archetypes. And in books, cheerleaders were usually the bad guys. Was I so prejudice as Ben thought? Was that fair of me? Maybe I did have a thing or two to learn?
"There you are, Ben."
"Hey, Robert. How's it going?" Ben let go of me to shake hands with a small boy with brilliant blue eyes.
"Bella, you remember Robert right? From the bowling alley?"
"Oh, that's right," I shook hands with the boy who was only taller than me because he had such thick, curly hair. His hand was cold and limp and it felt as if I were holding a dead fish.
He smiled at me, but he didn't look happy, "It's nice to see you again, Bella." The tone of his voice suggested otherwise.
He let go of my hand as quick as hiccup and turned to Ben. His eyes sparkled like sapphires as he spoke. "I know you are busy with Bella this week, but do you want to come over on Sunday and play Attari?"
"Sorry, Robert, but Bella and I have plans on Sunday. Maybe Monday?"
The light went out in Robert's eyes. I could see it even in the daylight. "Oh. . . . Sure."
I nudged Ben with my shoulder. "We won't be together all day on Sunday. Maybe you can go over for a little."
"Maybe. But I think it's going to take longer than you think."
"What is? What are you two doing? Maybe I can join you? Like bowling?"
"We are trying to make plans to have our parents meet?"
Robert's eyes got big. "Really?" His voice squeaked and hit octaves that only dogs should hear, but then he lowered his voice and pulled Ben aside, "Do you think that's such a good idea?"
"I do," Ben faced Robert and pulled out a packet of gum from his pocket. He offered a piece to me and Robert. I declined. After the last time I tried a piece of Juicy Fruit, I wasn't so sure it was the flavor for me – although everyone around me seemed to love it.
As the two boys talked cryptically with edged tones, I wondered what was going on.
Robert was acting so strange that I studied him for the first time. He kept his distance from me as if he feared I'd curse him or something. His eyes also shifted from emotions as he looked from Ben to me. He pulled at the sides of his thick auburn hair as if his fingers were trapped and he shifted his weight from side to side.
It hit me. Robert was afraid of me. Then it really hit me. Robert was like Ben. He was a were-ape. I wasn't sure, but that had to be it. Hadn't he told me at the bowling alley that their families were really close and that they'd grown up together and that they were more like cousins than friends and didn't they often enjoy the outdoors together? Including camping at Ben's ranch? The more I thought about it, the more I'd stake my life on it. Robert was like Ben.
"I'm worried about you, Ben," Robert said as he twiddled the piece of gum between his fingers. The foil was peeling back at the edges, but Robert still moved the stick of gum like it was a sticky secret that needed to be discarded. "You haven't been making the best decisions."
I could see anger flash across Ben's dark eyes like a nuclear blast. His fists balled into white orbs that throbbed as blue veins popped up like measles. "Don't you-"
"Hello, boys," a strong males voice cut in, and a large, powerful hand that looked like an older version of Ben's clamped down on Ben's own shoulder. I followed the hand with my eyes and looked into the face that could only be Ben's father. He was tall, dark, and handsome, but older and more . . . raw. He looked more like a charcoaled sketch by Da Vinci than he did an oil painting by Michelangelo.
"Dad?!" Ben's voice warbled out of control.
Ben's dad patted Ben on the shoulder and then reached out his hand to shake Robert's hand. "Good to see you, Robert."
"You too, Mr. Gibbons."
"And this must be Bella?" His eyes were guarded as they clearly appraised me, but the smile was genuine enough. "I've heard so much about you."
He then let go of both boys and clasped both hands around my own as he shook it warmly. "It is nice to finally meet you in person."
"Speaking of that, Dad," Ben said.
"I thought we could have dinner or lunch at our place on Sunday. With Bella and her dad."
Ben's dad stroked his chin as he looked at Ben. His eyes were deep and calculating. I swear I could see the gears turning inside his head as he processed his son's question.
Then quick as a blink he replied, "Sure. Sounds great. Either will work. Just let us know. I'll let the two of you work out the details."
"And I'd like to have Bella over for dinner tomorrow first."
This was a shock to me.
Ben's dad didn't even bat an eyelash. "Of course."
Robert glared at Ben, but he didn't say anything. But clearly Robert didn't think this was a good idea. I wished Robert didn't dislike me so much. I wanted Ben's friends to like me. But somehow at least one of his friends didn't like me, and I'd made an enemy with his ex. Real life High School was every bit as challenging as books portrayed them to be. But at least books were safer and couldn't hurt you. Again I wondered why I'd even bothered to look up from my books in the first place, but then I looked at Ben and was glad that I had. Ben made life worthwhile – no matter how complicated.
Ben smiled. "Great! Dinner, Conversation, and Friendship."
"Sounds like you have a plan." His dad smiled, but his eyes were locked.
"I do." Ben smiled even bigger and his eyes were fresh and full of promise.
Robert folded his arms, but as someone accidently knocked into him, his arms parted.
The parade was drawing to a close and the crowd was starting to press towards the school parking lot where an outdoor pep rally was being held. The music from the band could be heard over the gentle hum of conversations surrounding us. We followed the crowds for a while until I noticed that we were slowly separating from friends and then family and then students all together. Ben was leading me towards the woods.
"I wanted some alone time with you if that's okay." His arm rested on my shoulder like a favorite blanket.
"Of course!" I tried to keep my voice in check, but it was of no use. There was no question about it – I was excited to be alone with him. It was what I wanted more than anything. I'd dreamt about it all day long.
Our feet fell into a rhythm as we walked from the sidewalk onto a path that was well worn into the grass. The afternoon was quickly fading as a hint of twilight spilled across the sky like a powder through water. Cicadas tittered announcing the appending arrival of night fall. The woods were sweet with pine this time of year and acorns rained down on us we passed under the large oaks surrounding our school and the encroaching forest.
We passed the smoking section, and even though the smokers had long since left for the day, the smell of burnt cigarettes lingered.
"It's been a long day," Ben said as he caressed the edge of my shoulder.
"It has," I nuzzled my head against the side of his shoulder.
He gave me a gentle squeeze. "I've been wanting to steal you away all day."
"Then why didn't you?"
Our feet slipped from dirt onto grass as the forest expanded around us like a wall to a secret garden.
"I still have things to work out with my kind," he stopped and spun me into his arms. We stood at the edge of the woods on the brink of a kiss. "Do you have any ideas?"
"Besides kissing you?" I reached for his ponytail and set his hair free.
He took my hands and pulled me into the woods. We were running now and deeper into the woods. Giggling and tripping over our feet and tree roots, Ben and I lost ourselves into the protection of the forest. He found the base of a big tree and leaned me to it as he had earlier today. The heat from his body covered me. His hand slide past my cheek and came to rest at the base of my neck. Oh, the back of my neck! How did he know I was a sucker for that? His touch was tender, but left a blaze across my skin. My whole body warmed as if I'd sunk into a hot bath.
I titled my head back ever so slightly. His fingers caressed my neck and I was now so hopelessly his for the taking. I could feel blood rushing to my lips and I wanted him to kiss me. I slipped my hands around the base of his neck and drew him closer, but he untangled one of my arms and drew it towards his chest. He traced his fingers over my fingers and then ran them down the length of my palm only stopping when he reached my wrist. His fingers now circled the inside my wrist in small, gentle swipes.
I moaned. I loved how he made me feel!
He smiled and it covered his whole face with light.
"Oh, Ben," I sighed as I slid my free hand to cup his powerful jaw. I drew him towards me. I wanted him to kiss me again. And again. And again.
He wasn't done tormenting me though. He nuzzled his face in my hand, but resisted coming any closer. He still massaged my neck and wrist. I was so weak. I didn't think I could stand much longer even with the tree for support.
"Bella, you are so beautiful," Ben's voice was husky sounding.
I didn't trust myself to speak, I was that weak. I clung to him for both support and from a sense of primal urgency.
His lips found mine and his hair feel like a curtain around our faces – dividing us from the rest of the world. I could smell the crispness of his shampoo clinging to his silky hair. The stubble on his face brushed mine until it morphed into something more substantial, but softer. In that same moment, his hands went from smooth to furry. I opened my eyes and as he stepped back, he was all ape.
I could go into a full on description of what he looked like, but basically he looked like a dark furred bigfoot – except for the eyes. His eyes were entirely his own, but they were round and startled.
He was as stunned as I was.
"I'm sorry. This is never happened to me before. Not like this. When I'm angry yes I've lost control, but this – never."
He clasped one furry hand and then another over his face. "Don't look at me. I'm hideous." He buried his face further into his still transforming paws. He turned away.
Following, I cupped my hands over his and tried to pry them from his face, but I wasn't strong enough, "No, you are not. Not to me. I still think you handsome."
He shook his head. "Bella, you should just leave." His voice was clouded with pain and embarrassment.
I took a step closer to him and stood on my tiptoes. I leaned into him and found a section of his cheek left uncovered from his hands. I kissed him on his furry cheek. "Ben. This doesn't matter to me. It doesn't freak me out. I like you – all of sides of you."
He lowered his paws and stared at me with watery eyes. "Really?"
"Of course," I took his blackened hands into mine and leaned in for another kiss, but stopped.
A pair of eyes came from the woods, then another, then another. I was surrounded now by apes. Two set of eyes looked familiar. Robert's and Mr. Gibbons.
"We need to talk with Ben. Please excuse us, Bella," Mr. Gibbons said as he approached his son with a powerful gait that was both human and animal.
"Like now?" Ben had his hairy arms wrapped around my shoulder now.
None of the apes said anything, but his father nodded.
I looked at Robert, but he looked away.
Ben sighed. He untangled his arms from my shoulder and took one of my hands. "Let me walk her back towards the school and then we'll talk."
I was crushed. I wanted to be with Ben so badly, but it seemed as if the universe had other plans for us. Neither of us said anything to one another, but I could hear his slow and steady breath. I sensed Ben was as upset as I was, but by the strength with which he held my hand, I sensed that he was determined to find a solution.
Ben walked me to the edge of the woods, but no further. "I'm sorry," he apologized again. He looked like a wounded beast and I wanted nothing more than to soothe his pain. "Clearly, the others still have more to say to me."
"Don't be sorry," I kissed his lips and ran my hand along the side of furry chin. "I'll see you tomorrow . . . unless you need to talk before that."
"Tomorrow then."
He turned and lolloped into the woods with giant gaits.
It wasn't the perfect ending to the day, but I had discovered even in his beastly form I wanted him. Our love did run deep. Or so I thought. Perhaps it was my strange condition that made all these feelings so strong in me, but I didn't think so. This seemed real somehow and right. We were both monsters of sorts and yet we loved one another. This had to be right. I just sensed it was. I just did.
I exited the woods and returned to the pep rally. I didn't really want to be there, but I would have to walk through the crowds as I returned to my car. I sighed as I felt the crowds thicken around me. I tried to tune out the loud band music as I pushed past the throngs. I wanted to be lost in my thoughts.
One of the football players backed up from the crowds and accidently stepped on my shoe. I nearly toppled head first into the crowd of football players.
"Sorry," the guy mumbled and stepped aside.
"It's okay," I gave him a weak smile and arched my eyebrows in an all is forgiven manner.
Lauren, however, spotted me now and waved her pom-poms at me. I nodded my head, but pressed toward my car. She called my name, and reluctantly I stopped.
She bounded up to me in pair of white Keds that seemed to have a life all their own. Her feet were constantly moving as if she were barely in control.
"Bella," she waved her pom-poms, but kept her arms at her side, "No one can tame Ben. He's sort of wild. That's part of his nickname. I'm the only person who has ever come close. I suppose that is why I'm so protective of him. I like him, a lot. That' not a secret. But his family and his close family friends demand too much of his time. So that makes dating him a challenge. Just know what you are getting into if you are going to date Ben. He is kind beyond words, but does have a temper and he has very little time for girls. He's usually too busy with other things. Don't expect too much for him. . . . And don't hurt him."
I looked at Lauren. "You think I would hurt him?"
"I don't know. I see how boys respond to you and how close you are to some of them. Like Mike and Edward. Especially Edward."
"Edward and I are just friends."
"Bella. I don't care. Just don't hurt Ben. You and I will never be friends, but if you hurt Ben. I will be your worst nightmare."
She turned on her heels like a cheerleader and stormed off. Her ponytail swished from side to side like a ninja sword. Then she turned yet again. She looked me up and down and scoffed.
"I don't see why someone as scrawny as you is attracting so much attention anyways," She sneered. "But I'm number one on campus, understand? You threaten that, then you threaten me. You are probably nothing more than a flash in the pan – a novelty, but I'm the real deal here. Understand? And remember, don't hurt Ben or I will hurt you. Understand?"
I couldn't find the words to tell her that I wasn't trying to make boys like me, and I don't think it would have matter if I could. I merely nodded.
"Good. I would hate for something to happen to you." She twirled one final time and marched off towards the pep rally.
