Chapter Nine

Meagan's POV

I didn't know when I'd finally falled asleep, but my eyes felt puffy and I felt as if I couldn't cry anymore. I was crying for the loss of Finn, I was crying for the potential familial destruction my relationship with Evan had and would no doubt cause, and I cried because my heart was breaking in to two painful halves each belonging to a completely different McGowan boy.

Amid all the tears I'd been thinking, I liked Evan a lot. He made me laugh, his gaze made my heart flutter, and I felt like the prettiest girl in the entire world when he happened to lay his eyes upon me. But then there was Finn who understood me in ways I didn't know if Evan ever could, when he drew me it was like he was seeing me for who I really was and we could sit there hours in silence and yet with just our eyes we'd have an entire conversation. I knew I couldn't run away from my problems again, but I honestly didn't know what to do and didn't want to hurt anyone although either way I knew I would be.

"What happened to you last night babe?" Evan murmured into my ear as we both sat in the backseat, waiting for Doug to make another restroom stop, the third in the past hour, even after I'd told him not to drink that Double Gulp pop!

"Noth-nothing," I stuttered feeling horrible for lying, but at the same time couldn't bare to see the hurt look in his eyes. "I just wanted to talk to my parents, I really miss them."

"Oh okay, I was worried about you that's all." He leaned in to give me a quick peck, and I felt Doug and Sean's eyes glued on the pair of us through the rearview mirror. Ever since we'd suggest we share a motel room they'd been suspicious, but this only further confirmed it. But at this point I couldn't care less, things were already horrible... A few heart-stopping kisses to ease my stress and add to my confusion.

After two more tiresome days, and one night in a hotel room we'd finally made it to California! We pulled into the motel that would be our home until we managed to find Finn and convince him to come home, and I was wide awake. I had chugged four energy drinks today, two over the daily recommendation, and was filled with adrenaline at finally seeing Finn pray lord he was even here.

We'd unpacked and had began walking around the boardwalk, wanting to scope out the area before finally approaching Finn. Evan was laid back and cool and laughed like a little kid as he tried on funny hats and sunglasses as the female population of passerbys oggled him in his tight white boardshorts and Billabong slim tee.

I on the other hand felt like a million butterflies had been released into my stomach, as the realisation that in a matter of hours I'd be seeing him again. I was already mentally preparing myself for being given the cold shoulder, maybe not even being allowed in the house but there was that slight chance maybe all would be forgotten and it was that slight chance that I was clinging to for dear life.

After grabbing a bite at a taco stand we made our way to a posh looking appartment building and walked up two flights of stairs to suite 18 where Finn was supposedly staying. Sean knocked tentatively on the door and we were greeted by a disgruntled looking Finn who's expression of shock turned to look of pure hatred as he stared at me.

"What is she doing here?" He said icily. My heart broke right then and there and I bolted back the way we'd came and out towards the beach.

Finn's POV

I couldn't believe she was standing there, right in front of me in the very flesh. "What is she doing here?" I didn't dare look her in the eyes, and kept my eyes carefully averted from Evan's face, knowing it would only bring back the painful memories I was trying to suppress.

"Can we come in?" Sean asked as he and Doug's gazed bounced between the two of us. I shrugged and allowed them past me.

"Nice digs," Doug remarked as he walked around Steve's spacious appartment.

"I should probably go check on Kicks," Evan muttered quietly but Sean shot him a death glare before adding "give her space."

"Dude what the fuck is up with you? Mom was crying, dad went nuts!" Evan exclaimed loudly. "And now you made Meagan cry." I could tell he was peeved, but I honestly couldn't care less at this point. I hated him so much.

"Well if it isn't the McGowans?" Steve drawled lazily as he entered the room and I was happy for the distraction. What was I supposed to say? Well I was in love with your girlfriend, but because you're an idiotic prat you didn't think about anyone else but yourself so I left rather than watch you fuck all over the house.

"Hey Steve," Sean said cracking a slight smile. They'd always gotten along fairly well and I knew Sean had just as much respect for him as I did.

"Nice digs," Doug repeated and Steve smiled slightly as he eyed Evan with uncertainty. I knew he wanted to kill Evan for turning me into a blubbering ball of feelings and just for being an overall self absorbed asshole, but he knew it wasn't the place nor time. He raised an eyebrow at me and I could tell he was wondering where the infamous Meagan Meade was.

"Why don't you guys take a seat in the living room and I can get you guys some stuff to drink. Beers?" Everyone nodded in reply as I followed Steve into the kitchen.

"Where's Meagan?" Steve cracked open a few beers and began rummaging the cupboards for some chips. "I was looking forward to meeting her."

"I-uh" I faltered not wanting to admit to my extreme idiocy. Steve just rolled his eyes and motioned for me to continue. "I was a bit rude and she left."

"Well since I owed you a big favor for letting me crash at your house all those years ago, I'll do you a favor."

"What kind of-"

"No don't ask questions, just go out there deal with your family drama and I'll be back." I didn't really have much other choice than to trust him and entertain my brothers in the mean time.

I walked back into the living room and heard the front door close behind Steve. I sank down next to Doug on one of the plush leather couches and took a long pull from my beer trying to manage the anger that was bubbling up inside me, emanating from my core in waves all of them directed towards Evan who was sitting there smirking oblivious as ever.

"So dude you kinda gave everyone a heart attack back home." Doug remarked dumbly and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Where did they think I'd gone? The moon? They obviously hadn't had much trouble finding me...

"Yeah well, I felt like spending the summer here. Needed to get away for a bit from everything." I replied trying to keep them from prying any further.

"Get away from what? I mean what could possibly-"

"Evan." Sean said sternly cutting off Evan mid-rant leaving him red faced and flustered.

"You couldn't have just told us you were leaving like a normal human being instead of some weird, secretive, selfish-" Evan's voice trailed off again, this time of his own accord and I just shrugged. I felt moronic for shrugging, but I couldn't help it. What else could I possibly say? Without breaking down and inevitably breaking something on Evan's smug face.

"So how's cali been? Hot babes in bikinis every day and surfing! So fucking jealous man! Next time take me with you on your adventure." Doug said as he smiled warmly at me.

"Cali has been great, and yeah Steve and I went to this club the other day and it was fucking awesome! Hot girls, great music, and good drinks." I tried to paint the picture of a perfect evening but it had been anything but.

"What's wrong Schwennigan?" We had pet names already? What would we do for our one month anniversary, get matching tattoos?

"I-I just can't do this." I said lamely, feeling the testosterone leaving me bit by bit. I had dealt with a few blubbering girls in my time, most of them cast-offs of Evans that he'd left me to deal with because I was "sensitive and good with all that chick stuff", but now rolls reverse I felt a new empathy towards them. It hurt that she didn't love me, and that she had chosen my brother of all people!

"Ex-girlfriend?" She said understandingly.

"I wish, she-just-I love her." I blurted out and immediately cursed myself for doing so. I could hear Steve shift uncomfortably in his seat and I knew he wished to be anywhere but here watching me moan and groan like an idiotic pre-pubescent girl.

"Tell her. Trust me you're gorgeous and haven't even really tried anything with me! You're a total catch! If she can't see that then she's not for you." She said soothingly as she rubbed my back. Despite myself I couldn't help but wonder if all the girlish giggles and never ending string of likes had all been an act, a test even.

"I can't." I murmured quietly, not fully trusting my voice to not betray my emotion turmoil bubbling underneath my skin.

"Why not?"

"It's a long story."

"I'm a good listener."

Countless shots, beers, and hours later Steve had managed to drag me out of there choosing to not comment on the tears threatening to spill or the idiotic sappy rants I'd let loose in the club. Instead we waited silently on the curb waiting for a cab to take us back to the appartment where I could finally sleep, and avoid the embarassment from tonight if only for a few hours.

"You must really like her." He remarked as he lit a smoke and offered me one which I took gladly, wanting something to focus on. "And I don't mean stupid high school sweetheart, let's deflower each other prom night kind of like. Like I love you so much I think I might die if you do, Romeo & Juliet kinda crap."

"Yeah I do."

"So what are you going to do about it? Because I don't know how long I can honestly take watching you slink around like a dog with your tail between your legs. Evan is first of all an idiot, second of all you clearly love the girl so just fucking talk to her! Call her, fly back to see her, anything other than this incessant mopping! I cannot deal with a sulking bratt!" He exhaled a lungful of smoke into the cool night air and I knew he was right.

"I can't do anything, she's with Evan and as much as I'd like to I can't do that to her or him, I mean he's my brother for christsake's!"

"A shitty one at that." Steve remarked dryly as he hailed down a cab.

"Whatever, I also want her to come to me on her own terms. I don't want to pressure her into anything."

"And we both know how well that ended last time, right? Sitting back and doing nothing was what got you in this situation in the first place."

"I don't know what to do okay? I love her and that's all I know."

Meagan's POV

I ended up halfway down the beach sitting underneath the pier, staring absentmindedly at the ocean who's waves reached out to touch my feet and just as they were about to meet they pulled away. Somehow I found it very reminiscent of my relationship? with Finn. So close but then he just pulled away leaving a wet trail of memories behind as a stark reminder, the sand never completely drying.

I didn't know how long I'd been lying there but enough time had passed for me to have had to switch rocks a few times to avoid being drenched in the salty ocean's seafoam green water. I heard footsteps approaching, the quiet sound of sand crunching beneath the soles of whoever it was. I half expected it to be Evan, and half dreaded it at the same time. What would be my explanation for running out? Bad case of PMS? Who was I trying to fool, no one would believe such a lame excuse.

"Meagan?" I didn't recognize the voice which surprised me, I mean who would know me in California of all places?

I stared up at the mystery... guy as it turned out and took in his scruffy appearance as he stood, looming overtop of me casting a shadow over me. He was quite attractive and appeared to be in his early twenties. I mentally scolded myself for finding him attractive, you might as well lock me up and call me nuts if I were stupid enough to add another guy to my already existent love triangle.

"Um, yeah." I said quietly as I tried to figure out how he could possibly know me.

"I'm Steve Menard, Finn's friend." He said putting my guessing game to rest as he shook my hand with a firm, calloused grip.

"Oh. Yeah hi I'm Meagan," I said stupidly but instead of saying something along the lines of 'Yeah I know' he just smirked and took a seat next to me on the beach.

"So I have to apologize for Finn's behavior earlier, I didn't get logistics but he can be a total pratt at times. Especially in front of girls as pretty as you." I blushed a little at his comment, but continued listening intently to what he had to say. "I have a lot to talk to you about, so do you want to go grab a bite to eat on the boardwalk? My treat." I nodded and allowed myself to be yanked from the beach with the help of his strong arms and began following him up towards the pier.

"So how are you and Evan doing?" He asked causing me to pause mid-step, mouth agape.

"Uh-"

"Finn told me." He said matter-of-factly.

"Uh fine I guess." I shrugged not really knowing how to reply. I blushed in embarrassment at what else Finn must've told Steve, I probably seemed like an insensitive, family dismembering bitch.

"Don't worry he hasn't said a bad word about you." How did he do that? I wondered as I took a seat next to him at a trendy cafe.

"I feel like you're saying stuff and cutting off the end. What do you mean? Why do you want to know about Evan and I's relationship... or whatever."

Steve's POV

I knew Finn had a hope when she said "or whatever." If she was truly in love with Evan she wouldn't have tacked on "or whatever" at the end, she would've been gleefully gushing about how much she was in love or whatever it is girls prattle on about.

"Listen I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable or that I'm being intrusive it's just basically I know Finn really really well and you've made him into some stupid blubbering idiot. He cares so much about you and is really hurting, and I just don't get it. He's too much of a pussy to talk to you, so now I seem like an idiot sitting here trying to do it for him. So basically the whole purpose of this conversation was to ask you to talk to him, give himself a chance to explain himself. I'm sure he can do a hell-of-a-lot better a job than I'm doing."