This chapter is still about the events leading up to Lily running through the forest. Chapter ten and chapter eleven are joined, I just wanted to post Ch10 as it is right after I wrote it, so this bit is in two parts.

To anyone who has read this far- thank you. Your attention to this fic (my first based on the characters of Harry Potter) means a lot to me (:

Enjoy!

CHAPTER NINE: Conflict

Three hours earlier:

The weather follows Lily and Remus inside. They open the doors and the mist spills in, slicking the floor even before the rain. They slip more than once but with each other to lean on they avoid a major fall, and they reach the steps safely. At this point Lily takes her arm away from Remus; he tries not to show his disappointment, and instead tries to keep up a conversation. There's something he needs to tell them – not just Lily, but all of them.

The castle clock begins to chime. Their robes drip all over the grey stone floors, leaving a trail as they begin to climb the stairs towards the seventh floor. Lily arm left Remus' waist as they passed over the castle threshold; even though his bones had warmed sufficiently for him to walk steadily by himself, he wished she could have left it there for just a little while longer.

It's quite late now- gone ten, at least. The professors will be prowling the hallways to make sure that the students aren't straying away from their common rooms, and Lily urges Remus to hurry. As they walk quickly down the corridors and run up the multiple staircases they warm up considerably, so that by the time they reach the Gryffindor Tower they're almost sweating inside their wet robes. Lily says the password and they step through the portrait hole, entering the now much less populated common room. Most of the students here now are in the higher forms, as the younger kids have gone to bed.

Lily and Remus part silently at the stairs, Lily ascending to her dorm, Remus to his. He steps heavily up the stone stairs, running his hand over the stone wall, feeling the ache from the cold in his legs and chest. All that time spent lying outside in the rain was definitely not a good idea, and he curses himself as he walks into him dorm room. Sirius is lounging on his bed, flipping through the latest issue of Wizard Rock Weekly. He has no shoes on, Remus notices, and his shirt is open perhaps a button too much at the top. James is standing by the window, and Remus can't see his face. He notices that his shoulders look tensed.

Remus says as Sirius looks up, "You won't believe what happened to me today."

"Can't imagine," says James. "Do tell."

Remus walks over to his trunk and pulls out a pair of grey sweatpants and a baggy black t-shirt. "I went down to the lake after dinner to take a walk," he says, smiling a little, "and I fainted, right there on the banks! In the rain! I'm pretty sure I'll be paying for it tomorrow."

Sirius guffaws and Remus grins bashfully as he pulls his school shirt over his head, replacing it with the t-shirt.

"And then what happened?" says James quietly.

Remus pulls on his pants and notices James' expression as his friend turns around. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh no, nothing's wrong… I just thought you had a little more respect for me, that's all."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

The two boys are standing facing each other, with Sirius looking on from his slouched position on his bed. He puts down his magazine and sits up slowly, a wary look in his eyes. He doesn't know the cause for James' sudden accusation, and Remus is utterly confused.

"Don't be so stupid, Rem! Did you think I wouldn't notice? I may be a bit of a dick, but I'm not a fucking idiot! I saw you outside with your arms draped all over Lily. You know how I feel about her, man. I mean… I- she's my… you know what I mean."

"You're doing a great job of asserting yourself there mate," Sirius grins. He starts flipping through his magazine again, pushing his unruly, curly black fringe away from his eyes.

"You've got it all wrong, James. We weren't- I wasn't flirting with her or anything. She saw me down by the lake and she came to help me -she was just helping me back to the castle. I could hardly walk I was so cold."

"Are you sure that's all it was?"

"Well, yeah, mate. I know how you feel about her..." Inside Remus is churning, and he remembers the taste of Lily's mouth and the feel of her hips, even as James nods and accepts his answer. The air in the room becomes less tense, though Remus'feeling of shame strengthens inside him. Sirius is still lying on his bed as if nothing has happened, staring intently at his magazine now, with his teeth worrying his bottom lip. Remus walks over, snatches the magazine out of his hands and studies it, really not at all surprised.

Still, he has to comment.

"Really, dog-boy? Really?"

ooo

An hour earlier.

Remus sits on his bed, once again marvelling at James' trust in him. Had he been anyone else then what James had seen from his window would have called for a completely different situation. James' feelings for Lily, as Remus has always known, have become stronger and stronger over the years. His attention to her has never wavered- love or lust, it was a sure thing, a constant. What did Remus ever think he was doing then, thinking about her like that? Even kissing her?

He's still mentally abusing himself when Peter bursts into the room. Sometimes Remus forgets that Peter still lives with them, since he's hardly ever there. God knows what he's been getting up to in his spare time, and though Remus highly doubts James' concerns, he has to admit that it is a little sketchy. He turns his head to watch his former friend, and Peter's head snaps around at the movement. The two boys exchange a brief unfriendly look before Peter silently turns his attention to the trunk next to his bed. As he rummages, Remus exits the room as quickly and as quietly as he can, making sure that he doesn't bump into James' bed, as he often does.

Downstairs the common room is buzzing- James is hyping up the rest of the Gryffindors for the upcoming Quidditch match against Ravenclaw. This is James' last year as the Gryffindor team's seeker and he's hoping to make the best of it.

As the Gryffindors cheer him on, James' voice can be heard over the noise, saying, "We can do it, team! We're the best we've ever been in all my years at Hogwarts and there's absolutely no way we're going to lose the Quidditch cup- not even in this disgusting weather." He grins widely, raising his arms in the air and yelling, "Who's the best?" to which the crowds answers deafeningly, "GRYFFINDOR!" As whooping and hollering fills the room- from the high ceiling to every corner to even the dormitories above them, where the sound disturbs many students trying to study away from the gathering- Remus climbs through the portrait hole, unnoticed by most. The only one to see him go is James, perched high on a table above everyone else's heads.

His high vantage point is the reason why, unlike the other students surrounding him, he sees Remus climb through the portrait hole and out into the dark corridor.

He jumps down the table instantly, motioning at Sirius and Lily and following Remus out into the corridor.

ooo

Remus slips through the front doors- why they're still open at this time is a mystery, but the four students don't bother to stop and question it. Their shadows flit across the grass, thrown onto the ground as distorted shapes by the torch-lit castle windows. As they follow Remus across the grounds towards the forest the doors slide shut unheard behind them. They pass Hagrid's hut, creeping through the darkness and the fog, eyes darting. Remus is still somehow oblivious to his friends.

Lily's doubts about what they're doing increase as Remus enters the shelter of the gnarled forest trees. Soon he's almost out of sight among the branches, and they hurry to keep up. Sirius wishes fleetingly they'd bought the map with them.

They're only a few steps into the trees when Lily stops, because Remus is standing facing them, the look on his face confused and surprised at seeing his four best friends following him through the dark. For a moment he even looks angry, but that moment passes quickly, and only Lily notices the flash of fire in his dark eyes.

Suddenly, Lily can't think of anything to say him. Luckily Sirius steps right forward, peering past Remus into the trees, then saying "Sorry we were following you, mate, we were just..." He turns to James. "Why were we following him, exactly?"

James falters, and then says as strongly and authoritatively as he can, "I was worried. I thought you were in trouble, or... something." He can tell that despite his direct tone, Remus doesn't believe a word, because his eyebrows almost disappear beneath his messy fringe, and he crosses his arms. Lily's eyes are drawn to the definition of muscle under his skin- something she hasn't really noticed before.

"Never mind what reason we had," Lily says, "what are doing out of the castle so late? And why were you going into the forest? We think- James and Sirius think the centaurs might have been right- there really is something dangerous going on."

"If you really must know, I was just going for a walk."

"At this time? In the Forbidden Forest?" says Lily, now crossing her own thin, slightly freckled arms.

"I, uh..."

Remus feels Lily's green eyes penetrating his skull, willing him to give up the real reason. He certainly hadn't counted on any of them following him- he thought that slipping out of the common room during James' deafeningly loud pep talk had been a good idea. Evidently it hadn't, because now he faced a slight dilemma: tell them the truth or turn around, go back to the castle, and endure the battering of their questions until he finally folded under the pressure- and what use would that be? He knew that allowing them to continue on with him could be risky, but out of all the people to come out here with him, he would have chosen these three.

"Before you arrived in the clearing- you know, when you met the centaurs- one of them told me something. Firenze, his name was, that big blond one. He told me to come back tonight. He has some information for me."

"What could he possibly want to tell you? He's a centaur- they don't care about Hogwarts students! And why didn't he tell us when he led us away from his herd?" James says incredulously. "What's so special about you, anyway?" Remus' eyes darken even more at this last, almost desperate comment.

"I have no idea," he says coldly, "but it must be important. Now, I'm late, so do you want to come with me or not?"

And he turns promptly around and strides off through the trees. Lily hastens to follow him, and after a moment Sirius does the same, but James, still fuming, stays at the tree line, shouting after them. "There are more important things to be worrying about! What about Snape and Peter? Lily! Sirius! Sirius!"

But they're gone. Completely ignored and standing alone in the faint moonlight, James contemplates following them, but decides against it. Instinct- a gut feeling- tells him that he'd do better to stay behind.

This feeling is somewhat contradicted, however, when a spell hits him squarely in the small of the back, and he's unconscious before he hits the ground.