CHAPTER 7
*This chapter is told from the POV of Emmett.
Have you ever had a moment when your head and your heart disagreed? A time where your heart in its passionate pleas, slammed against your chest, threatening to burst right through your rib cage while your head, in its cool and detached disposition rationalized the truth your heart refused to believe? Well, that's how I felt right now. My head told me to stop Rosalie from walking out that door but my heart couldn't make the words come out. My heart yearned for something else. Someone else. Don't get me wrong, I still loved Rosalie, probably more than I could and would ever love anyone else but our love had never matured; it had never grown into something other than contentment. I was content that I would never find anyone who would love me as much as she did and she was content in my worship over her. But as time passed, her mystique and wonder faded and I'd begun to see her differently. I begun to see the vain insecure girl she thought she'd killed when she killed her fiance but there it was, lurking under a thin veneer of beauty and anger.
It would be easy to say my change of heart had everything to do with Akando but that would be unfair to everyone involved. Rosalie and I had grown distant for some time, both of us clinging to a love that had slipped away. I knew why Rosalie wanted me; I reminded her of someone long gone who she could have care for and in exchange she would receive unconditional love for her. Something a child should do for her but a dream I could never fulfill. And I was guilty of wanting her for my own reasons. Sure, I had always been attracted to her but from her, I needed something more. Growing up in a small town in Tennessee to a fairly poor family, my options were pretty limited. But the life my parents had wanted for me wasn't the life I had wanted for myself. At first, I drank, gambled, and partied my troubles away, losing myself in the warm embrace of too much scotch and more than my fair share of women and when the opportunity arose, men. But when that bear attacked me and I could feel my life fading from me, I prayed to anyone listening that I didn't want to die this way. I wanted to die someplace else, away from the daily routine of work, sleep, and more work. Away from the expectations of my family. Away from the expectations of society. And then she appeared, like an angel in white and she answered my prayers and showed me a life I had only dreamed of living. A life filled with no responsibilities and the chance to be selfish for once.
It was hard at first. I had railed so hard against the life I had led and after I was changed at my first chance out of it, I returned. But with my new found powers, came a clarity about life and I found my human life lacking. Things had changed as well. My family could see the change in me and it scared them. I would find my mother clutching her rosary and staring at me as if a demon had possessed her son. I never ate or slept and I knew there were subtle things I had yet to learn to compensate for like blinking or breathing. But my new strength was an asset while I worked at the railroad so my brothers ignored it. But as the thirst grew within me I knew I could no longer stay so in the dead of night, I left the only family I knew and returned to my angel. I would miss my mother and her beautiful voice when she would sing while making dinner. The smell of my fathers homemade cigarettes that he would roll every Sunday evening before cleaning his favorite gun. My little sister, Richlynn, and her incessant questions about everything from earthworms to the stars. Even my older brothers Richard, Julian, and Walter who had always seen me as the screw-up baby brother who would never amount to much. I saw them mourn my disappearance and it broke my heart.
But with Rose, I discovered things about myself I never knew. I learned about the world. I had freedom in my hands and the most gorgeous woman on my arm and nothing could stop us. We lived in huge cities with lights that blotted out the stars. We stayed in places that could fit 6 of my parents house's inside of them. And there was never anyone telling us we couldn't. Carlisle would discipline us when he felt we were out of line and who were we to disrespect him? He has given us everything and asked for nothing. And as our family grew, so did my love for those around me. I began to think of others and not just myself. I began to want to learn and contribute to the life I now lived.
That was why it was so hard for me to let her leave.
I watched as she paused at our bedroom door, turned, and looked at me with equal parts heartbreak and contempt. This was my chance to stop her, apologize and beg to make things right but I just couldn't. Even heartbroken, with her hair in a ponytail, no makeup on her face, and clad in a simple pair of jeans and a sweater, Rosalie was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. And it had hurt to look her, so painful I had to turn away from her and stare out the window, silently willing her to leave and make the decision for me. And she did. She left so quickly, I heard her car skid around the corner before the front door had even closed and I knew what it felt like to have my heart broken.
I looked around the huge room, at all the mementos we'd collected over the years, the memories we framed to keep immortalized and I knew I had to leave. Maybe not forever but I couldn't be here tonight. It was all too much. My head was a jumble of questions and regrets and the air in the room was too stifling. It was as if the walls themselves were closing in on me, putting me into a box of my own woes and locking me in like the sins of Pandora's Box. I would be back; I had to come back. We were still on alert for Exodus but I needed time to decide what I would do with my life now. Whether I would ask Rose to come back or try to be with Akando.
Akando.
Even his name had the power to punch me in the gut and leave me for dead. I don't know when it had happened but I was falling for the boy. Hard. Actually, I knew I wanted him the first time I saw him. Cliche, maybe, but when I saw him that first day, lying in that hospital bed he looked like an angel sent to tempt me like Adam to the apple. Seeing him gave me clarity I hadn't experienced in a long time and made it obvious in my mind of what I had been missing with Rose. And then I got to know him and it made me like him even more. But that was as far as I was ever going to let it go. I wasn't so cocky to believe he would automatically find me attractive but I knew I was attracted to him in a big way. But I'm a married man and even though nothing is legal, she's still my wife in my heart and I would never hurt her through infidelity. So I was content to just be his friend. I was fine with sitting back, silently worshiping his ever move and sigh. It didn't bother me to try and see him as a comrade because I knew it was what was best for everyone. So I held my tongue and suffered in silence.
I'm not as stupid as people would like to think I am, I knew I had feelings for him and I wasn't going to deny it. But I guess I had been stupid enough to think that no one else could see my attraction for him. I had thought I was being so smooth but I guess I hadn't been because I could feel the way Rose's eyes would watch us. The way she would conveniently always find a reason to be in the same room with us. The excuses she would give to keep me from being alone with him and for the most part, I tried hard to keep some distance. But everyday I learned more about him, his life, and his struggle and it became harder to resist him. Everything about him drove me nuts. His soft, long hair, his sexy body, his beautiful smile, and the best ass I've ever seen in my life. But it wasn't just the physical things. I loved his wit, his competitiveness, his survival instinct and sensitivity but also his toughness, and his protectiveness towards those he cared about. Even the way I felt about myself when I was with him. Rose had always expected me to be strong, sexy, and silent but Akando didn't want anything from me and he saw me for the person I am, not who he'd wanted me to be.
I had found my equal.
And then he went to the Quileute reservation with Jacob and came back with a date. That stupid date. Have you any idea how hard it is pretending that you're okay with the person you think you love going out with someone else? It sent a red hot jealousy through me that burned fiercer than the venom that made me. But I held my cool. I just wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn't with me. But then he had to go and say he would have sex with him and I lost it. Yea, we'd talked about sex before but talking about past experiences was completely different from knowing it was going to happen. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. So from that day on, I just avoided him. And it was the hardest thing I ever had to do but after that day, Rose and I had another intense argument. They were always about him. At first, we would both skate around directly saying it was him but soon it became painfully obvious that she thought he was pulling me away from her. Little did she know, she was doing a great job of that herself. So she asked me to stay away from him and even though I found the request appalling, I agreed because she was my wife and I did honestly want to work to fix our marriage.
But it all hit it's peak the night he left to go on the date. I had innocently asked Alice if he'd left yet and I could feel Rose drilling a hole in the back of my head. With a huff, she stormed off and as with routine I was expected to chase her. And I did. I could feel the difference in this argument, our words had turned from questioning and hoping to angry and bitter. We hurled insults like ping-pong balls bouncing them back and forth with every intention of hurting each other, something we would have never dreamed of doing before. We yelled so loudly, the family had left, probably to avoided getting hit in the crossfire. And that's when she'd made the decision to leave.
I shook my head, throwing my mind out of it's torturous reverie as I headed to the closet and grabbed a suitcase. I felt a weight settle in the pit of my stomach as I looked at all of the clothes Rose had left behind, her rose and lilac perfume still clinging to their fabric as the realization that she was gone began to sink in. Hastily, I opened drawers pulling out all manner of clothes, not even bothering to look at what I was grabbing. I headed back into the closet, searching for the shoe box that contained some of our petty cash. I knew that wherever I went, I couldn't use my credit cards or the family would find me instantly. I would be back after I sorted my head out and my phone would be on if there was an emergency but I needed to come back on my own terms. I shoved about 2 grand into my duffel bag, along with some shoes and a photo of me and Rose we kept on our bedside table. It was taken while we were in Paris back in 70s. Even though we'd had an amazing time, the trip was still a touchy subject with Rose. We had gone to visit her friend Diane who'd just moved to Paris and while out at some nameless club, a guy had shamelessly began flirting with Rose. Back then, we were all about free love and bringing others into our bedroom scene and the guy wasn't unfortunate looking so I saw no reason why a threesome wouldn't be okay. He had brought along his best friend Egon who'd instantly fallen in love with Diane. Well, soon they were engaged and Diane went on a warpath, after deciding she wanted to be a fashion designer. In those days, women were expected to present themselves in a certain way and Diane had wanted to design clothes for women that were free and sexy, like Rosalie. Using Rose as her muse, adviser, and sole inspiration, she went on to design the infamous wrap dress and became a household name, climbing to fame and never once mentioning Rose's part to play. Ever since then she refuses to wear anything by Diane Von Furstenberg.
I tossed the photo in the bag as I made my way to the door, grabbing my keys off of the desk by the door. I turned and looked around the room I'd once shared with Rose. Without her here it seemed hollow and empty as if the skeleton of the room was now revealed, dissected and ripped of all it's love, joy, and happiness. I walked out the door closing it behind me gently and turned towards the hallway. I could smell Akando's scent wafting through the hallway like incense smoke.
He must be back from his date.
I turned towards his closed bedroom door and I almost went to it and knocked but something made me stop in my tracks. It was the knowledge of knowing that if I went to him, I wouldn't leave and if I didn't leave, I would always wonder if what I felt for him was genuine or my own discontentment with my marriage. I didn't want him to be my rebound. So I pulled myself away from his door, silently willing my feet to move down the stairs and out the door.
And as I drove down the driveway and out onto the road, I fought against my every instinct to look in the rear view mirror. Because the life reflected in it was no longer mine. Maybe one day it would be again but for now, I trained my eyes on the road ahead. A road filled with discovery and realization. A road that would take me into the unknown. A road to me.
I narrowed my gaze, my mouth watering as I watched him walk slowly through the snow. I could feel the venom building up behind my lips, waiting in anticipation for the opportunity to rend flesh and savor his warm blood. His prints lay wide in the white snow as he paced back and forth, waiting. What was he waiting for? In my mind, he knew I was behind this tree, crouched down in the cold snow as the cool Canadian wind whipped back and forth sending snow and scent in my direction. It had been 3 days since I'd left home. I had every intention of trying to get my head straight, to decide if I wanted to be with Akando for real. But the longer I had to think the more questions sprang up in my mind, keeping me alert all night and wallowing in my own self-pity. The one impediment that had kept me from being with him, Rosalie, was now not really an issue. She'd left, making it perfectly clear we were done. But there was still a lot of residual guilt tugging at my heartstrings and pulling at my bones. Rose and I had loved each other for a long time and feelings that strong don't just go away. I felt bad about wanting to be with Akando and that guilt was hard to stomach. But what of my own arrogance? What if Akando wants nothing to do with me? What if he's not attracted to me?
But the answers lay spread out in front of me like the winning hand on a poker table. I knew he wanted me; I'd known for a long time. I saw it in the way he would unintentionally shift his body to match mine, the way he would blush if I made any kind of sexual reference. It was in the way he would stare at me, as if the next words that came from my mouth could save or end him. And I knew how he felt. Even lying in that hospital bed when he first arrived, there was a magnetism that made me want to sit next to him, waiting even as the world fell around us just to see him open his eyes.
I was pulled from my thoughts by the vibrating in my pocket. I quickly yanked the phone out of my pocket, glancing at the number on its face.
Alice.
She had been calling me for the last three days but I wasn't ready to talk to any of them. I didn't need them all breathing down my neck, chastising me for breaking Rosalie's heart and destroying our family. I knew that if I answered the phone and went home, I would make a snap decision that would send us all into ruin. I quickly turned off my phone, glancing through the trees at him. He must have heard the phone's buzzing because now his big brown eyes darted cautiously around the forest clearing. I needed something to take my mind off of it all and I knew killing him would offer me the distraction I needed.
I crouched back down into position, my eyes tracking his every movement. I could feel my muscles tense, locking themselves in position readying for attack. The moment was now. If I waited any longer, he would be gone and my meal for the night would go along with him. Experimentally, he sniffed the air when suddenly his head swung in my direction. Instantly, my body sprang into action as I swiftly glided through the trees, charging dangerously close to an enormous Fir as I pounced on his body and brought him to his knees.
With a roar, he twisted his bulky form around so that I was now lying on his stomach, his massive paws swiping at my head. I couldn't even feel it.
For minutes we wrestled back and forth, each of us gaining domination before the other would snatch defeat. I could end this fight easily but the best part of the hunt wasn't the kill but the thrill. Finally, my hunger overrode my need for a fight and I allowed my lips to pull back over my venom-coated teeth. I reared my head back before sinking my teeth deep into his flesh. It was hard getting to him through the fur and flesh but the instant I felt the warm blood rush down my throat, it had made the struggle worth it. His large bucking body slowed to a slow twitch and I could see the hopelessness in his eyes. I had always found a sick satisfaction in hunting bears. Not just because they were challenging prey but a part of me saw in every bear the bear that had attacked me so many years ago.
I could feel the bear thrashing under me. I didn't want the beast to suffer. I may have gotten pleasure out of the hunt but I wasn't a monster and I knew he was in pain so I lifted its head, heavy with death and twisted it, breaking his neck. Instantly he lay still underneath me as I finished my meal. My thoughts of Akando and decisions would come back soon enough but for now, I was hungry.
I stepped under the spray of the hot water, letting it wash over my body as the blood, fur, and gore slid off my pale skin and down the drain. Showering was one of the strange things about being a vampire. No matter how hot or cold the water was, to me it had no temperature at all. The only thing that let me know I was showering was the wetness cascading down my muscular body. I stared at the chrome drain, watching the red water turn clear and disappear. Tonight it was only a deer. I wasn't nearly as hungry since I had the bear 4 days ago but when I felt the familiar burn of hunger in my throat, I decided to stop off for a snack.
I slowly lifted my head, the water matting my black hair against my forehead as I stared in front of me at the once-white tiles of the shower wall. They were now caked in mildew and the sweet aroma of decay permeated my nose and filled my mind. Even though I couldn't feel the heat, the steam had a way of fogging my mind the same way it did the mirror. I had been effective in pushing thoughts of Rosalie out of my mind but the harder I pushed her away, the harder Akando's memories pushed back.
I grabbed the bar of soap from the dish and smoothed my hands around it, lather bubbling up between my fingers. I rubbed the soap into my neck, massaging it in as I covered my body. I continued down, letting my fingers graze against my nipples. My breath came out in a shuddering moan as I allowed my hands to slid across my nipples again. They were always extremely sensitive. I could feel myself growing hard under the spray of the water as I let my mind relax along with my body. Since I hadn't been having sex with Rose, it had been awhile and the tension was starting to build. As I tugged on my left nipple, I let my right hand slid down my abs and into my bush as my hands wrapped around my hard, pulsing cock. I had always been proud of my dick, it was long, roughly 8 inches and thick. Rosalie had always said I was only man who could ever make her orgasm and I believed her. My prowess in the bedroom was never something I was self conscious about. I let my fist moved up my cock, causing my foreskin to slid over my pink head and back down as I slid my hand back down.
I tugged at my nipple, eliciting a deep throated moan from my lips before letting go and letting my left hand travel down my body. I wrapped my hand around my cock, using both hands to jack myself off. I felt the ripples of pleasure echo through me as I released my cock and let my free hand tug gently on my hairless balls. It felt so good to finally let go and enjoy myself as I freed my balls, sliding my fingers along my taint as I tickled my hole. I could hear another moan escape my lips as I slowly pushed my middle finger into my hole, searching for that sweet spot deep inside me. I had always known I liked having things up my ass and Rose would oblige me with toys and things but I always knew that if I were with a man, I would be a bottom. But it wasn't Rose I was thinking about.
Ecstasy rocketed through me as I pushed that spot deep inside of me, making my eyes squeeze shut and my dick grow harder. Suddenly I thought about Akando. I thought about him roughly shoving him hard cock up my hole and making me his bitch. I moaned as I imagined me on my back as he mercilessly rammed into my hole. I hadn't noticed that I'd added another finger into my ass until I was already 3 fingers in and it felt so good. I was now a jumbled mess of groans, grunts, and moans as image after image of Akando slamming into me invaded my mind. At this point, my hand was flying over my cock, pulling me closer and closer to the edge. In my mind, he would smile that sexy smile of his, laced with sex and innuendo before capturing my mouth in a kiss that stole my breath away. I knew he was getting closer when he moaned into my mouth, his hips slapping hard against my bubble butt. I let my fingers in my hole do their magic, speeding up to match the pace of the hand on my cock. I could almost see his face when he pulled from my lips, looked in my eyes and groaned, "I'm gonna cum!" as he fills my hole with his burning hot seed.
I let my fingers grazed across my prostate one more time before I could feel my orgasm approaching. It started at my toes, numbing them as the orgasm raced up my body, my balls drawing up into me as volleys of cum shot through my dick and coating the wall in front of me. I was seeing stars and if I could breathe, I knew I would be choking on my own moans.
After catching my bearings, I rinsed off and turned the water off, stepping out of the shower and into the dingy motel bathroom. It wasn't much but it was the only place I could find in the Canadian wilderness. I was at least an hour and a half away from any major city and I needed the desolate solitude of nature to get my head straight. Even so, I still didn't know what my final decision was. How could I choose between them? Both were amazing in their own way. Rosalie was a bitch but she was also loyal, confident, and self-assured. But Akando was honest, independent, and challenging. Rose made me aim for more in life while Akando makes me want to be a better person. Rose valued me for my strength and allowed me to be a man but Akando values my opinion and urges me to speak and think more. They both also had their faults though. Rosalie was vain, selfish, and jealous while Akando was guarded, unrelenting, and had a tendency to run when faced with something he can't handle.
I stepped into the room, the dirty mauve walls sad and depressing, as I trailed water and confusion behind me. I rummaged around in my bag, searching for something comfortable to wear. It seemed that in my haste to leave, I had grabbed mostly shirts and clothes too dressy to sit around a motel room in. Finally I found some silk pajama bottoms Rosalie had bought for me. As I pulled them out, something small and heavy fell out and hit the floor with a thump. When I glanced down, I realized it was my cellphone I'd long abandoned. I did find it strange that I hadn't heard it buzzing from my bag; that Alice had given up on trying to talk to me. But as I picked it up and pressed the button, I realized why I hadn't heard the phone. It was off. Then I remembered that I'd cut it off while I was hunting.
As I turned the phone on, a photo of Rose and I in Madrid popping up, reminders started springing up one right after the other, each from a member of my family. They had called a lot and I figured now was as good a time as any to face them. I scrolled through the lists of voice mails to the first one sent by Alice and pressed play. If I was going to call them, I should at least know what I was up against.
But when the message played and Alice's frantic voice filled my ears, all hope of a quick conversation was quickly chased away. As a cold numbness sank into my bones, ice rushing through my veins, freezing me to the core, I let the phone slide from my fingers and fall to the ground. And even still, I could here her voice playing on repeat in my mind.
"Exodus has kidnapped Akando!" She screamed.
The message had been sent 6 days ago.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
So there you have it. Because I never intended the interlude to be as long as it was, it took me longer to get to finishing this one. So because of the change of date, I've decided that Wednesday will now be the update day until the end of the story which is probably only like 2 more chapters and an epilogue. I hope you all have been enjoying the story so far cuz I've enjoyed writing it for you.
Next chapter, we'll find out what Akando has endured in the week since his abduction and i'm telling you now, it's not pleasant. Stay tuned for the next chapter!
