Play List -

Come As You Are - Civil Twilight

Shatter Me - Lindsey Stirling feat: Lzzy Hale of Halestorm


Chapter 9


I gather my half finished dinner and bring the plate into the kitchen through the swinging door. As I pass through my eyes immediately fall on Edward, hunched over a pile of paperwork at the island in the center of the kitchen. I allow myself a tiny moment to take him in, all business and Mr. Serious as he flips through the pages his attention is on. My attention is caught on his forearms as flex and bunch with strength.

I wanted his arms around me, caging me from an escape, locking me in.

With a soft sigh, I push forward and head to the sink with every intention of washing my plate. It won't do me any good to get caught ogling again. Either his ego will explode or my libido will.

Not really sure which will be worse.

When I get there Edward has other ideas though and from behind me his voice is cool and even from over his shoulder.

"Leave it, come here."

I do as I'm asked.

"Our preferences are similar, but I think we can work on negotiating a few things here." He sounds pleased, but still all business.

Oh, this surprises me. Business as usual then Mr. Cullen? I'm not going to give on them despite what ever persuasions tactics he had up your sleeve.

As far as I was concerned my check list was exemplary, the limited things I had declined on were true hard limits.

When I reach his side he pulls one of the high stools out for me and motions for me to take a seat. On the counter in front of me is a manilla folder that he motions for me to open.

"Oh?" I whisper. "Like what?"

Inside I pull out of stack of papers bound together.

At quick glance they read like stereo instructions, but then I understand. These are a copy of Edward's checklist.

"For starters, one snag I see here is your concern with chastisements."

The delicious salmon we'd just enjoyed was suddenly rising up my throat to make a second appearance.

You knew this would come up…keep it together.

Beside me he staring, waiting for an explanation I'm sure.

"I-I um..." I started to stutter out.

"Relax," his eyes soften as he stares at me. "Take a breath, there's no reason to get worked up, we're only talking right now."

When I can't get the words out, he smiles gently and brushes a lock of hair away from my face.

"I'll have you know, I'm an artist with a leather strap." He muses thoughtfully. "I know what I'm doing, where to strike you without causing any permanent damage, you wouldn't be here if I didn't." He regards me with great patience. "All the same, if it would make you more comfortable, for punishments I don't have a problem using my hands until you're more comfortable and we've developed our relationship." I know what he's trying to do and I appreciate it but I'm still uneasy. I know that this is what I'm signing up for and that this is a basic of the lifestyle I cherish, but I need to take it slow. "I would like to eventually use a Cat or Scourge in scenes, but we can work up to that."

"Am I allowed to speak openly?"

"Of coarse, you always are when we're hashing things out. In fact, in the future why don't you consider this space a place to do so, but you need only ask Isabella no matter where we are. You'll find that I'm a very reasonable man and that I am interested in anything you wish to share with me. I'll let you know when you're overstepping so that you aren't crossing an imaginary line."

That puts me more at ease. I really like that he's direct and accommodating. I guess we'll see how long that mentality asks though.

"Could we play it by ear?" I ask softly.

"We could, but I think it's important to lay some ground rules. When it comes to punishments we'll aways discuss what's going to happen before it does and what we're going to use for chastisement. I do not use canes and obviously that is totally out of the question for you anyway, so you have nothing to fear."

Yes, the cane was completely out of the question when it came to any aspect of our relationship.I never wanted to be in the same room with one again and I doubted I would ever be able to. That evil piece of equipment would be my total undoing if we ever met again.

"Relax." The smile that touched his eyes makes me do just that. "It's all right you know. There's nothing in here that's going to chase me away." He taps the papers.

Never say never Cullen. You only know the half of it.

"I'm just nervous, I want this to work."

"Then it will."

If feels like we stair at each other for an eternity. I think he could sense my relief, I know I certainly felt it. Everything was suddenly lighter. Still, a Cat…my back side stung just thinking about that. The Scourge wouldn't be much better either but a paddle or strap I wasn't sure I could handle anything like that. My memories and fears were too fresh.

Even if Edward was the 'Artist' he claimed to be. I just hoped his artistic streak was eclectic. I had to admit I was surprised by how accommodating Edward was being so far, another thing I hadn't expected.

"Was there anything else that you want to discuss?"

"Hard limits." It wasn't a question.

I squirm.

"I noticed that you wrote in gun play as a hard limit even though it wasn't on the check list. I've heard of this particular scene but I've never been involved in one. To put you at ease, I do not condone gun play. I have no desire for it nor do I wish to put you in a situation where a gun is should know that I do own firearms and that this house is often secured by armed guards at times. However, knowing you have a issue I'll do my absolute best to keep you away from it, if that's something that you're afraid of."

It's not guns that I'm afraid of, it's lunatics with guns that terrify me.

"I'm not afraid of guns." I admit. I leave out the lunatic part.

"Well, I wanted to be honest with you. I'm very wealthy and my family is under constant scrutiny for our work in the medical field, specifically the research we do with animals."

"Oh, I didn't know that Cullen Biopharmaceutical used animals in their research."

"Well, whenever possible we choose not to use animals, but whenever we have a specific project that requires them we generally breed them with a specific deficiency. Even then we have leading scientists who do research and make the ultimate decision to use animals and that's usually only as a last resort. Most of the animals we have on inventory are rodents."

"Do you ever use anything else?"

"We use Long-tailed macaque's for Alzheimer's research and guinea pigs for premature birth research." Edward's face is impassive. "Only when it's necessary, we have an extensive process and set of guidelines when we make a decision to bring in a group. We employ an excellent veterinary staff to look over them while they're in our care. We aren't cruel and we don't do anything inhumane. People in the animal rights community don't always see levelly with the medical community and sometimes we encounter some misunderstanding that are taken out of hand by some."

"I understand, thank you for telling me. It's actually pretty fascinating, maybe you could tell me more someday when we aren't busy with other things?"

"If you'd like, I would enjoy telling you more. I'm glad that you seem open to the concept."

"Well, it's necessary and I understand that. My Gran passed from an aggressive form of lung cancer and she wouldn't have lived as long as she had or had the quality of life she did I think with out the medication she took to help manage her pain. I know they have to test it somehow, so in that sense I'm grateful, as long as your company is humane about it, I don't have a problem with it."

"Well, that's pretty decent of you Ms. Swan." I can feel Edward's smile and it's like the sun.

I wonder if he was worried about me having a problem with his research methods... but it seems silly. I'm just a girl he wants to fuck... why should my feelings about his business decisions matter?

I glance down at the papers in front of me and see that Edward has listed other hard limits. When I look back up he's got a thoughtful look on his face, I'm glad to see the mask is down and take the opportunity to ask him a question.

"You've got hard limits?" I steer us back on topic.

"Yes, edge and breath play are hard limits for me." He shrugs his shoulders at me like hard limits aren't that big of a deal. "Just not my cup of tea, that's all. You're neutral when it comes to breath play, is it something that you've tried?"

"Umm..no. I think I'd be open to it in the right situation. I'm curious really, I've seen it done and it looks interesting to me."

"In person?" Edward's eyebrows are raised in question.

"Not exactly, more like on the internet." It's my turn to shrug. "I'd want to try it in a very controlled situation if I ever did decide to try it."

"Well, perhaps we could revisit this discussion in the future?"

"Yea, I'm open to that idea, it's not something I've ever been dead set on experiencing so if you wanted to at some point I wouldn't be opposed to talking about it."

"All right. Next item of business, body modification."

I'd already had enough of that...

"You've listed all forms of having done or witnessing as hard limits."

"Is that going to be an issue?" I ask nervously.

"Well, no. I'm just curious, because the look on your face. I'm not interested in any form of body modification either, however piercings and tattooing, is the act in which it's done your hard limit, or is the piercing and tattoo itself the hard limit?"

"Piercing and tattoos aren't an issue. My hard limit is having something permanently done to my body. Since tattoos and piercings are a permeant alteration to the body and that's something I'm not comfortable with, I consider it a hard limit. If you're asking if seeing tattoos and piercings bother me, the answer is no. I don't find them offensive."

"Fair enough." A mischievous smile touches Edward's eyes. "So my having a tattoo isn't a deal breaker here?"

He has a tattoo? I wonder where...

"No." I can't help buy smile at him. "What are your thoughts on body modification, if you don't mind my asking?"

It must be the wine, because my lips are loose this evening. Part of me doesn't want to know his answer, but a good portion on my brain needs to know.

"Branding, scarification, and saline injections aren't exactly my thing either Isabella. I find the experience unnecessary and while I'd hate to knock something I haven't tried, I'm fairly confident that it isn't something I would ever want to try. To each his own and all that if you know what I mean? Besides, I only partake in activities that I'm comfortable knowing how to handle. I know next to nothing about branding or scaring someone and I don't want to become fluent in that type of activity either. I believe something like that is delicate and requires an extreme attention to that wouldn't be beneficial to what I personally want out of this lifestyle. Saline injections are something I know how to do because I have a medical background, but I have no desire to engage in that sort of play either."

I'm staring at the stack of papers arranged neatly in front of me. I don't know what I was expecting, but I couldn't be more grateful for his thorough and honest answer.

"Is there a reason you're asking me specifically?" Edward's voice is gentle and probing, as he hunts for an explanation to my sudden silence, but my throat is tight and my eyes are stinging. I don't want to cry in front of him so I do my best to reign it in.

After a beat of time I clear my throat and look up at him. "There is, but if it's all right with you, I would rather explain a little later."

I hoped by then I would be relaxed enough to have this conversation.

"Is this about your last relationship?"

"Yes, it isn't something I can easily explain with words, so if you're all right to wait I would be more comfortable to wait until we go to your playroom."

"Very well." From the corner of my eye I sense Edward's confusion and the deep frown etched across his lovely face. I just hope he'll continue to be so understanding.


An hour and two glasses of Merlot later, I'm warm, tingly, and signing the appropriate line on our contract.

Hashing over my responsibilities and what was expected of me was the "last order of business" and Edward was very adamant about his particular set of rules Currently we were fleshing out the trail contract between us, for the most part I was pretty open to his demands. I would be responsible for preparing most of the meals and would serve him in the dining room when he was home to take them.

My room was my own to do as I please in on my own time, but it was to be kept clean enough that the housekeeper could come in and straighten up without a problem. I could agree to that no problem. I wasn't a messy person and I didn't intend to have a lot of things here anyway.

"Since we're going to have an initial trail period of a week of live in, I'll make the arrangements to have your apartment looked after. All of your rent and utilities will be paid for-"

"That isn't necessary, I -" I interrupt.

"Isabella." Edward grumbled in a frustrated tone.

This time I'm quick to explain myself.

"I'm not being difficult, I promise." I start to explain.

"Really, because it sounds like you're interrupting me to argue and that's not exactly agreeable behavior, is it?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt like that. It's just that the loft is mine and my bills are already paid in advance. I don't need you to take care of anything, there's nothing to take care of."

He watched me for a few minutes, probably to determine if I was telling him the truth.

"I'm not lying. I paid for my condo in full at closing and my bills are set up with my expense account -"

"Then those accounts will be set up in conjunction with the expense accounts I provide you-" I watch his face harden in obvious annoyance.

"I don't need you to pay my bills."

I kept my tone soft, but firm. I wasn't going to budge on this, my bills were taken care of and I didn't need his money. I had my own, most of which I could never even spend in this life time.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and grumbled something.

"You don't need to buy my submission Sir, I'm giving it to you. I can handle my own-"

His eyes snapped to mine, and in that moment I suddenly feared him.

Oh fuck, I definitely just pissed him off.

"Is that what you think this is about, that I'm trying to buy your submission and trust?" He was totally furious.

"I -" I start, but he shuts me right up by continuing.

"Because if that's what you think, then you have no business even considering being my submissive in the first place, let alone entering into a contract. I don't need to buy your submission Isabella, if I wanted to I could have a fully experienced sub in here sceneing right now."

I blanch at the high tone of his voice as it resonates off the walls of the kitchen. After his small rant I don't dare look at him out of embarrassment. I know better than to argue even in this phase. I know I never should have even made such an insensitive comment. I don't blame Edward's reaction at all but I also don't fear him. Even now I can sense him watching me - no glaring at me from the corner of my eye.

"I'm sorry." I whisper down at my hands, folded and resting prone in my lap.

Then, like a light switch, something changes. His features suddenly soften and see him slide off of his bench and take a step toward me. Before I can even register or react, his arms wrap around me like a cocoon.

Being in his arms is like unlike anything I've ever experienced. There's nothing that could ever compare to the comfort I instantly felt. So strange and true, I'd never felt more safe before and it was quickly becoming one of my favorite sensations. Now that I knew what it felt like, I never wanted to go another moment without it.

He sighed long and hard and spoke softly to me.

"Listen, I understand this is all new to you-"

"This isn't new for me." I snap, my tone suddenly angry and hurt as my emotion rushes right back through my senses.

What's he suggesting? Dammit, I wasn't some inexperienced sub. I'm not a fragile piece of glass!

I knew what it meant to be obedient and to bend to my masters every desire. I lived this life for nearly five years. I wasn't some child who didn't know the difference between cats and scourges.

This wasn't new to me.

Suddenly, he's holding me back at arms length and studying me like I'm a petulant child.

"This is new to you, you haven't showed me otherwise that it isn't." He counters in a tone that was much more menacing then mine had been. I think his patience is starting to wear thin with me.

"And Isabella, if you interrupt me one more time tonight I'm going to ball gag that smart mouth of yours and shut you up properly. Can I get a word in edgewise with you or what? Is this going to be an issue all the time or do you think you can get it together? I think I've been pretty patient with you so far, haven't I?"

That shut me right up...and might have made me cum a little too... ball gag my smart mouth? I'd like to be gagged with something, that's for sure.

"I know what you're thinking, and while I wouldn't mind shutting you up with my cock, I don't think we're quiet there yet. Let's not get ahead of ourselves or get distracted while we're talking about this. Capiche?" There's amusement dancing in his eyes now and I'm relieved to see it. Jeez, so hot and cold... but so worth it to see the reactions come from him. "Well, can I speak now or are you going to jump to conclusion and interrupt me again?"

"I'm sorry sir. I'll be quiet."

"That's more like it. now, as I was saying, I understand this is new to you. Your previous collared arrangement was not a proper D/s relationship. I know this because of what you've told me and by your reactions during our discussion tonight." Edward takes a deep breath and regards me carefully.

"I'm not your last Master, Isabella. You need to understand that every relationship you enter into, especially in this lifestyle, is different and unique. Our arrangement will be somewhat unconventional in the beginning. I understand that I need to gain your trust and that we must work on your fears together, it's going to take time and I'm willing to give that to us because like you, I would like this to work. However, I will not tolerate your defiance and disobedience, this smart mouth bullshit needs to stop now before it becomes a serious problem. As your top, it is my responsibility to ensure you are well taken care of and that includes taking care of your things and providing you with what you need. I can afford it and I will make sure it is taken care of. This is not up for discussion. Do you understand, because if you can't accept that, we're going to butt heads quiet often and I can guarantee that it's going to make things between us strained and difficult. I don't want that, do you?"

"No, I'm sorry." I whisper.

I knew he was right, but it still went against everything in me to accept. I didn't need him to pay for those things, I could handle it. "It's just difficult for me."

"Look at me." I did, meeting his sparkling green eyes. "I know that it is, but we'll do this together. I need you to trust me and the only way we're going to achieve that is by working together toward our goals. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I'll try harder, I promise."

"I know that you will. You're smart and capable and we have time. Just let me do the leading."

"Ok." I smile at him feeling more relaxed.

"Now, I think we're pretty settled up on the negotiations. Do you feel comfortable with everything we've talked about? Do you have anything else that you want to add or talk about at this time?"

"Um.. I don't think I do."

"Well, if you remember anything just let me know so that we can address it."

"All right, thank you."

"Now, if everything looks good to you, I'll have the revisions made and the contract drawn up. We'll use this weekend as our stepping stone in getting started. I need to know exactly where we stand as far as your training, so we'll get started tonight if you're comfortable doing that. "

"I am, I mean, I would like to if that's what you want sir."

"I would like it very much." I watch Edward's eyes dance, glad to see that the stone wall is still down. I watch with anticipation as he fingers through the folder in front of him, looking for something. His long fingers move aptly through the check lists and notes he's made until he finds what he's looking for. "Here it is." I can't help my grin as pulls out a single sheet of legal paper with an air of triumph. He looks so pleased with himself it's hard not to be as excited as he is.

"What's this?" I ask with curiosity and slight confusion. I thought that we went over everything.

"This is a scene contract, for your protection and mine." He smiles. "I use this when a regular arrangement isn't in place. In our case, the contract between us needs to be redrawn for final draft and finished for signature. Tonight, I don't want paper work holding us back, so we can use this if you're comfortable. I want you to feel completely at ease as we move forward even between finalizing the paperwork."

"Really?" I'm astonished but so excited too.

"Absolutely." Edward gives me his panty flamer smile.

"What do I have to do?" I ask with excitement.

"Well, this is a standard contract I use for a basic scene. Nothing too fancy, it just covers the basics and paints a clear picture of the boundaries for our first scene."

"We can have a scene tonight?" My skin is tingling with anticipation.

Oh my god!

"That's my intention. Just something light to start out with. Are you open to that? No kink tonight, just exploration."

"Exploration?" I cock my head to the side.

"Exploration." He nods with a smile of pure confidence. It sets my heart racing.

"Okay." I agree.

"Very well. I need to prepare, so while I do that, you can enjoy a rare treat."

Rare treat? What's this about?


Sometime later I'm just finishing my third glass of wine, this time a glass of moscato that pops tantalizingly in my mouth. On a plate in front of me is a sliver of cheese cake that Edward had set aside for me as "a special occasion indulgence" to celebrate our first night together. It was such a sweet gesture.

"I love dessert."

That made him chuckle. "Well that's goo to know, I love dessert too."

"Are you having any?" I asked when he only sets my slice down on the counter.

"No, my pallet is hungering for something else tonight." If that wasn't a sobering comment, I don't know what was.

Was he talking about having me for dessert? Ummm... yes please!

"Take care of your plate and then meet me upstairs in ten minutes." He tells me as he cleans his hands on a dish towel. "I'm going set something out on your bed, clean up and change in to it, then come to me. My room is one door down from yours on the left." With that, he pushed the swinging door open from the kitchen and disappears...without any sweets of his own.

Suddenly warm and tingly were a thing of the past. Now I was on fire and vibrating with anxious anticipation. I took my time enjoying my "rare treat" and the wine that was helping me loosen up a little.

As threw back the last sip of wine, I let out a deep cleansing breath and swallowed. Steeling myself, I gripped the counter for sixty seconds and readied myself for what was about to go down.

Pun intended, please... I giggled at myself.

Ready to start the night, I take care of my plate and wine glass, checking over the kitchen to be sure it's all set, I calmly collect myself before darting out of there and heading up to my room.


When I step into my room, I lean against the door and feel it close with a soft click. From across the room, I can see that Edward has all ready been in here and left the something in question on my bed. Making my way to the bed, I glanced down at the fabric sprawled out across the foot of the mattress and smile. Picking it up by the straps, I hold it up to examine it closer.

The piece of lingerie is beautiful. Deep violet, and soft silk, the haltered baby doll is lavishly embellished with beads and sequins. Just under the cups, the fabric gathers together to create an empire waist. The plunging neck line is a little intimidating, but I'm excited to see it on.

With nervous fumbling fingers, I quickly peel off my dress, bra and panties and fold them into a neat pile on the chest at the end of the bed. Gathering my hair off the the side of my shoulder, I slip the baby doll over my head and tie the halter around my neck.

The thin sheer silky fabric hit right at the top of my thigh, and matching panties left very little to the imagination. Now a little nervous, I decide that I need to see this on before I just hurry over to Edward's room. I only have about sixty seconds to check myself over and haul ass to his room.

Being late might be a bad idea. I don't want to push my luck tonight, so I need to be prompt.

Hurrying, I dash to my adjoined bathroom and pirouette in front of the mirror. Examining myself from all angles, I can help the smile that spreads across my face. Even though I was practically naked, I felt elegant and beautiful. Edward had great taste. The plunging neck line slipped over my breasts and hugged my body just right. The worry I'd had about looking silly was instantly falls away and is replaced by confidence and a blast of sex appeal.

With seconds to spare, I open the small cosmetic bag I'd brought with me and pull out a small round tin of faint pink lip balm and quickly dabbing some on my lips. I give myself another once over, fluffing my hair and checking my breath. Content that I'm ready I turn and spot a long billowing black silk robe hanging on the bathroom door. Feeling too naked to wander the halls in an unfamiliar place, I decide that slipping this on shouldn't be a problem. If anything Edward will just have me remove it right away. I can always explain my reasoning if he's angry.

Feeling ready as I'll ever be, I take a deep breath and I head out to the hallway. Padding barefoot down the hall to where I knew Edward's bedroom was, I steal a lung full of oxygen and steel myself for what's to come.

When I reached the door I was suddenly torn on proper etiquette.

Do I knock…do I just walk in? Shit.

Knowing I have seconds,I decided knocking is probably the smartest course of action. Using one knuckle, I tapped lightly on the oak door and wait.

Here goes nothing...


A/N: I'd love to know your thoughts! If you've read this before, how is the re-write comparing? Do you like it more?

Thanks for the love!

-B