"Meredith let's talk about when you were in the hospital, who visited you the most?" the psychiatrist asks.

"That would be Alex, he was there right after it happened and he never left my side. He's my person, we've been friends a long time. And he's been there for me ever since Derek died," Meredith explains.

"I see, so Alex was there when you woke up and he stayed there with you the entire time?"

"Well, he also helped Maggie with the kids. He had just moved in with us. Remember, he had asked his girlfriend to marry him and they had a fight and she booted him out," Meredith reminds him.

"Sounds like you and Alex have been through a lot together. Do you have feelings for Alex? Are you in love with Alex?" the doctor asks.

"Me in love with Alex?" she asks smiling, "no, I'm in love with Arizona," she blurts out happily.

"And Arizona is?" the doctor asks surprised by this remark.

"Arizona is a friend and colleague, we spent a lot of time together after I moved back to the house I grew up in. Arizona's gone through a lot, we were in the plane crash together and she lost her leg. But she was with Callie, they were married. But they're not now. They've been divorced for several years," Meredith explains.

"Meredith this is our third session and you've spoken to me about being alone and now you're admitting that you're in love with someone, that doesn't sound like you're alone," he points out. "How long have you been in love with her?"

"We had just gotten together the weekend before the assault. I mean we'd been moving towards it for months, but that weekend was when we finally admitted to each other how we felt, so it feels like that was the beginning," she admits.

"Okay, so that was the beginning and then you're assaulted and in the hospital. You said Alex was there, where was Arizona?" He asks.

"She was there too. She stepped in and ran my service and her own, then she trained the surgeon who came in to take my place while I was out. She visited me all the time, but since no one knew that we were together so she wasn't open about it at first," Meredith answers.

"Do your friends know about this relationship now?" He asks.

"Yes, everyone knows and they're really supportive. Well it was hard at first because, well Callie is one of my best friends and it's her ex, so that was a bit awkward. And of course, I've never been with a woman before so there was that too," Meredith admits. "But they all know now and Arizona's been staying with me since I got out of the hospital."

"Okay, let's talk about that. You've never been with a woman before and you've known Arizona how long?" he asks.

"You know, I'm really not here to talk about this, my relationship with Arizona isn't why I'm here," she reminds him.

"Meredith, you've talked about all of your friend's relationships, but you don't want to talk about your own?" He questions.

"Arizona and I just argued about this last night," Meredith says, resigning herself to the conversation.

"You argued with her about what exactly?" He asks.

"We were talking yesterday afternoon and I mentioned that I hadn't told you about her and she was worried about it. Then last night we were talking on the phone and we argued about it, she thinks that my not discussing it with you means that I haven't really accepted it, I guess."

"Wait, I thought that she lived with you, why were you talking to each other on the phone, was she at work?" He asks trying to keep up.

"No, she moved out yesterday." Meredith replies.

"I see," he replies carefully considering his next question.

"Look, here's the situation. Arizona and Callie have a daughter almost the same age as my daughter Zola. They share custody of Sofia and we've all been friends a long time, the girls are best friends. Arizona just moved in temporarily until I could return to work," she explains.

"But you haven't returned to work and she's moved out," he counters.

"She decided to move back to her place while I'm in therapy," Meredith replies, "She thinks I should have space to figure all of this out"

"It sounds like Arizona has been in therapy before," he remarks.

"We all have," Meredith quips.

"Was Arizona at the hospital during the shooting?" he asks.

"Yes, she and Callie were together then. Then we were all on the plane that crashed," Meredith replies softly.

"Who was on the plane that crashed Meredith?" he asks.

"Derek, Cristina, Arizona, Mark and Lexie," she replies, a distant look in her eye.

"Cristina is your friend who moved to Zurich and Mark, Lexie and Derek are gone, so now it's just you and Arizona left?" He asks.

"Yes, but you can't say it like that. The plane crash has nothing to do with me and Arizona being together now," she says angrily.


"Meredith, what happened?" Arizona asks rushing into her house.

"I couldn't go home after therapy so I came here and then I needed to see you," she says tearfully.

"I'm here," Arizona replies taking her into her arms. "Just breathe."

After a few minutes, Meredith pulls back, "I told him. About us, I talked about you in therapy today," she admits.

"I'm sorry about last night, I shouldn't have pushed you," Arizona says apologizing.

"But you were right. Look at me, I told him and now I'm a mess," she says crying.

"Meredith, I don't understand," she says sitting back to look at her.

"Everything is a mess in my head. It was so clear to me before. We were just us, we got close, developed feelings for each other and then fell in love. It all made sense to me. But now it's all mixed up with the shooting and the plane crash and Derek. What if I get through therapy and this isn't real?" she asks.

"Meredith this is real. Just because it's all mixed up in your head right now, doesn't mean that we aren't real. You just need time to sort it out again," Arizona begins to explain, but her pager interrupts her.

"Damn it, I need to get back to the hospital. Stay here, I'll be back as soon as I can," Arizona says rapidly.

"No, I'll be fine. Just call me later," Meredith says wiping her eyes and pulling herself together.

"I will," Arizona says kissing her quickly before rushing out.


"You were wrong you know, about the plane crash and Derek's death, neither of those things have anything to do with why I'm with Arizona now," Meredith says angrily as she sits down to begin the next session.

"I didn't say they were related Meredith," he replies.

"Okay, so maybe you inferred that they were related," she counters.

"No, I didn't infer that either. Should we talk about why you thought they might be related?" he asks.

"A couple of years ago, a small plane crashed into a building and the injured were brought to our hospital," Meredith begins to explain. "I don't know why, but all of the sudden I had to find Arizona. I looked everywhere for her and I began to panic when I couldn't find her. But then I found her, she was also freaked out and she was sitting on the floor in a supply room."

"Meredith there are many supply rooms in the hospital, how is it that you found the right one, the one that she was hiding in?" he asks.

"Well, I went up to her unit and she was in the one near her office, I wonder why she wasn't in her office though?" Meredith asks.

"I think you know why, she was scared and hiding, which is probably why you didn't look in her office first," he points out.

"Oh right, well we sat together on the floor for a few minutes and really we calmed each other down. Then we spent the rest of the day working on the victims. The plane crashed into a building where a prenatal yoga class was, Arizona is a fetal surgeon, she had so many patients that day," Meredith remembers.

"Now where was Derek when this happened?" he asks.

"I didn't know where he was at that time. The White House had called looking for him, then there was a plane crash. At first I thought it was his plane that crashed, but then I found out that it was a small plane and I needed to find Arizona," Meredith replies, obviously thinking this through for the first time.

"This turned out to be the day Derek died then?" he points out. "And you were already drawn to Arizona."

"But that's not why I was drawn to her, I didn't even know anything was wrong with Derek that morning. As far as I knew he was stuck in traffic in DC and that's why he missed his meeting," she counters.

"Okay, so it was just the shared trauma that made you need to know that she was alright?" he asks.

"Yeah, of course. And we were fine the rest of the day," Meredith replies.

"When did you find out about Derek?" he asks.

"That night when the police came to the house," she explains. "But this isn't about Derek's death. His death had nothing to do with me being attacked at the hospital."

"Okay, but here we are talking about it, so let's explore this a bit further," he prods gently.

"I don't need to talk about Derek's death with you," she says shutting down.


"Why are you all here in my house tonight?" Meredith asks looking around the room at Alex, Maggie and Callie.

"We're being supportive," Callie replies.

"This is fun, we're here to have fun," Maggie adds.

"I'm here because I can't go home, I don't even know why I even live there," Alex grumbles.

"This isn't fun and you're not supporting me, you're supporting each other, you don't even need me to be here, so I'm going to bed," Meredith replies and they all look at her for a minute, then resume talking.

"I'm serious," she interjects. "Callie, may if you were home, Penny would stop by and have sex with you. Maggie, I don't if DeLuca stays over, but you need to introduce him to the kids so there's not a stranger in their house. Alex for god's sake, fix things with Jo, she loves you, but you pissed her off. Now I need sleep, so I'm going to bed," she says standing up to leave the room.

"Meredith, where are you going?" Maggie asks confused.

"She's going to bed," Alex replies finishing his beer. "And so am I."

"Alex, where are you going?" Callie asks.

"What, there's an extra bedroom up here, I'm going to bed too," he says yawning.

"Do you think she's okay?" Maggie asks.

"Maybe she's just tired," Callie replies. "But maybe she's right, maybe Penny does go by my house and I'm over here, we both know she won't come here again, I should go too."


"God they all came over again tonight. Arizona at least when you lived here they stayed away. Please come back!" Meredith begs playfully.

"Not if the only reason you want me there is to keep your friends away," Arizona protests sarcastically.

"That would simply be a bonus," Meredith replies, "There are many other reasons that I want you here, you always wake up first and make coffee. You can get Ellis back to sleep a lot quicker than I can, which is annoying but I still appreciate it."

"Why don't you guys come over and stay here tonight?" Arizona suggests.

"Are you ready for us to do that?" Meredith asks.

"Yes, I told you the spare room is all set up for Ellis and Bailey and Zola sleeps on Sofia's trundle bed when she stays over so yeah, come over tonight and stay with us," Arizona says again. "I miss you," she adds.

"Okay, we'll be there and I can't wait to see you," Meredith replies. "I miss you too."