I woke up around 5 a.m. and Christian was still fast asleep beside me. I carefully moved his arm and slid out of bed. I struggled to find all my articles of clothing as I put my bra on and slid my dress back over my head.
I thought back over the last evening we had had together. Obviously I had no resolve. I needed to talk to Kate. I gathered up my purse and held my wedges in my hand as I snuck out the bedroom door. I made my way down to my car and looked in my rearview mirror. My makeup was smudged beyond belief, my hair in tangles…. I looked like a trainwreck. Hopefully Christian wouldn't be too upset that I left, but I needed a moment to recenter.
When I got home I changed into sweats, made a large pot of breakfast tea, and pulled out some homework. The last couple weeks my grades had been suffering because of all the emphasis on Christian. Whoops.
Around 7, Kate walked out of her room and jumped to find me in the room.
"What are you doing here!" She said, her voice full of excitement. "Tell me everything!"
"It was a great night." I said "A very great night." I smiled.
"No freaking way Steele! Was it amazing?"
"It was absolutely amazing. He is just as hot as he looks." I said, laughing and sipping my tea.
"He made me dinner and then we got down to business. He didn't waste time. Now my mind is finally out of that fog of horniness, and I'm wondering if it was the right thing to do." I said, frowning slightly.
"Ana, live a little! He seems to genuinely like you." Kate chided me.
"I know, I just don't want to sabotage my career at GEH by having a fling with the boss." I said, smacking my head with my palm.
"Well, it doesn't seem like just a fling to me." Kate said as she stood up to get some tea. "Do you think you love him?"
"I think it's all too soon to say yes." I answered. Saying the words out loud was difficult for some reason.
Of course, Kate made me get into the graphic details. We had been talking for over an hour when I felt my phone buzz.
I was very surprised to find my bed without a certain woman in it with me this morning. -C
I sat and thought about what to say, a bit embarrassed that I had left now.
I'm sorry, I was ready to get home and change clothes. -A
Breakfast? -C
I put my phone down without answering the last text. If I went to breakfast with him, I would have to face what our relationship was, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to do that, although I did want to see him. I was just terrified.
I decided to shower and change into regular clothes. I slipped on a pair of jean shorts and a white t-shirt and gathered my school stuff.
"Kate, I'm heading down to the coffee shop to do some homework. Join me if you want." I yelled down the hallway.
"I'm about to eat with Elliot, but I'll see you there afterward."
"Oh… okay." She peeked her head out of her bedroom and I winked at her. "Elliot, huh?"
"Yeah, he's cute. What can I say, the attraction to Grey men is contagious."
"Have fun." I laughed as I shut the apartment door.
Christian didn't text me again after I had ignored him. I needed time to think.
I spent about an hour actually finishing homework, until Kate arrived.
Into the coffee shop walks Elliot, Kate, and of course, Christian Grey. "Oh hello, the whole group is here." I said, shutting my laptop.
Christian didn't say anything, he just glanced at me and walked over to the barista with Elliot and ordered.
"Kate. Why did you bring him here?" I said through my teeth.
"He texted Elliot asking what you were doing. He met up with us." She said, smiling at me. She found humor in this situation, obviously. "I need to see how this is gonna play out." She grinned.
I stuck my tongue out at her as Christian and Elliot walked back over, coffees in hand.
"Anastasia, would you like to walk with me." Christian said, motioning toward the door.
"Sure." I said dryly. "Kate, will you take my backpack upstairs with you." I said, shoving it toward her as she laughed at me.
Christian led me outside onto the street. I could feel him looking at me as I walked in front of him.
"Is your phone working?" He asked sarcastically as we stopped in front of a park and sat on a bench.
"I'm worried about this entire thing Christian. I want to slow things down before I start working at GEH. I just don't want to risk it. I don't feel comfortable. Be my friend?" I asked, trying to sound genuine, choking on my words.
Christian did not respond to me. He just nodded and kissed my cheek lightly as he stood up.
As he walked off I got a strange feeling in my stomach. It was… disappointment. I needed to make sure I protected my career and my future, and being with Christian right now… It felt like I was neglecting what I had been working for.
I caught up with Christian and we walked beside one another silently as we headed back toward the coffee shop in Kate and I's apartment building. I looked at him through my peripheral vision, worried he was angry with me. This wasn't how I pictured losing my virginity.
Well, the losing it part had been damn good, but the aftermath… not so much.
Before we got back inside to Elliot and Kate, Christian stopped me.
"I will let you be, Anastasia. If that's what you need from me. I will see you on the first day of your internship, don't be late." He winked. He is so hot. I lectured myself internally for having those thoughts. Was there any way that we could be professional again? Probably not.
