It was already late into the night, just late enough for a little round of supper. Chizuru had cooked them a round of udon, with vegetables and an egg for good measure, and all of them, even Kondou and Souji, had gathered in the common room to savor her last meal with them.
The meal was supposed to be like any other meal they had in the past, loud, lively and full of laughter, but instead it was silent, filled with sighs and regrets.
"I'm going to miss Chizuru-chan's cooking," Souji lamented after he had finished his bowl of udon. He was sure that he had spoken for all of them there. "You don't know how hard it was having to get back to being used to eating the food cooked by men…"
"Oi, Souji, don't forget that you're the worst cook among us," Heisuke countered, remembering that Souji's vegetables were often too salty and his fish was mysteriously spicy. "I don't think that it's fair for you to say that…"
Souji acted as if he looked hurt. "I'm just trying to keep Chizuru-chan here, Heisuke," he explained matter-of-factly. It was his particular brand of humor, often played at the expense of others, but at least it turned the mood to a slightly lighter note. Even Chizuru had a small smile on her face while he could see that Hijikata was trying his very best to block out whatever he had said.
"Yukimura-kun, you must try to take care of yourself when you're in Kazama's care," Kondou advised Chizuru, knowing that there was nothing else to say to her other than those words. "Don't force yourself too much."
"I'll try, Kondou-san, thank you," Chizuru thanked him.
"Don't worry, Chizuru, we'll all come get you when we're done kicking the Imperial Army's ass," Shinpachi added. As always, he had always been the voice of hope and enthusiasm. Chizuru hoped that with Souji indisposed and Heisuke a Rasetsu, Shinpachi would always remain on the battlefield to keep them in sight of their goals in good temper and humor.
Harada agreed with Shinpachi. "He's right, we'll be knocking on Kazama's door before you know it," he continued, patting the top of her head as he always would. If Hijikata had been the center of the Shinsen-Gumi's power, and Souji as well as Saito their blades, then Harada must have been the center of their strength, the one that provided gravity to all of them. Through her years with them, she knew that Harada had always been their shield and vanguard, the one that protected them from behind while they pushed towards their goals in front. It was Harada that revealed to her that it was only natural that men would fight to protect a woman, not because women were the weaker sex, but because it was their desire to do so, and their responsibility…
Chizuru found no words left to thank them for their words of comfort. It was as though they were sending her off to a cold, dark prison, where she was to be held hostage, but for Chizuru, she would rather the cold dark prison instead of what Kazama had promised her. An endless lifetime away from humanity, away from them… It was a fate that she was not sure that she was willing to embrace yet, but one that she had promised. She knew that Kazama would readily kill them all if she decided to hide behind them, no matter how confident they were of their prowess. He would kill them not out of jealousy but because he had sworn he would do it because an Oni never went against his word.
"Well then, I think I'd better leave you younger ones to talk amongst yourselves," Kondou said, and got Souji to go with him.
"Kondou-san, why must I come with you?" Souji protested.
"You're still down with that horrid, weird flu," Kondou answered. "You'll get better sooner if you tried to sleep earlier."
No more protests came from Souji, and once again, the common room was covered with a blanket of quiet.
"Rest assured that nothing will happen to us, Yukimura," Saito told her, sensing her disquiet. "I will personally make sure of it."
Shinpachi roared in laughter. "That's Saito for you, Chizuru-chan," he said. "See? Nothing to worry about."
"Ne… Chizuru, did that bas- Kazama do anything to you?" Heisuke asked Chizuru, knowing that it was the one question that plagued every one of their minds where her days with the Oni was concerned.
Surprisingly, Chizuru shook her head. "Kazama-san was… surprisingly gentle to me," she answered truthfully. He was more than gentle, in all honesty. Where she once found forcefulness, she found resolve. Where she once felt fear around him, she now found a sense of… homecoming, as if she had finally realized what she was after an eternity of questions. "He also told me what really happened to my family and…"
"So he's not that much of a bastard we thought he was," Harada concluded. It gave them a certain amount of comfort to know that she was not mistreated at Kazama's hands.
"You must delay the wedding for as long as you can," Hijikata told Chizuru, breaking his long silence. "Sen-hime told us your union would be… irreversible if it was solemnized." His violet eyes looked straight at her, conveying more than just advice. It was a prayer, a hope that she would wait for him, to give him as much time as she could give him.
Chizuru nodded her head. "Don't worry about me, Hijikata-san, I'll know what to do," she reassured him. It was not the first white lie she had told him, and it would certainly not be the last. For him, she would always present at least a hint of the strength that he had inherent within him. For them, she would at least try to act her bravest, because that was what they had given her.
Once again, the common room fell into silence. Sensing the coming of obvious tension, Shinpachi got up and towed Heisuke with him. Between Saito, Souji, Harada and Hijikata, Shinpachi knew that the kid had no chance against them for Chizuru's heart at all. Heisuke was still young, and would not understand the complexities of Chizuru's situation any more than she herself did.
This time, the quiet had no end. They were literally counting down the seconds until dawn, each one of them regarding Chizuru with his own gaze, conveying his own thoughts to her, knowing that somehow, she understood and received them well. It had been evidently clear that Hijikata held a great place in her heart, clear that Chizuru felt the safest with Harada and with Saito, she had the most hope, because she knew that no matter what, he would abide by the path that he had seen himself to, and in Souji, the greatest comfort, because he was willing to do everything to protect what he valued.
"Dawn is coming," Harada sighed, looking out into the night sky from the door that had been left open.
"Indeed," Hijikata nodded. He took Chizuru's hand in his as he rose, openly claiming her as his and said to her, "I'll leave you to Saito and Harada." There was so many more things he wanted to say to her, but he knew that if he did, he would not want her to leave. He knew that it was a risk that would have wasted all of Chizuru's efforts to keep them safe. Without saying another word, he left the common room and retreated to his own quarters. Such a parting was already enough for him. He had already said to her all he wanted to say in the evening.
"Feh, Hijikata-san is always like this," Harada muttered. "I'd like to see the day when he doesn't give us the hardest jobs to do."
"Hijikata-san cares for Yukimura deeply, just as we do," Saito explained. "I would imagine how difficult it is for him." He then turned to Yukimura and placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Leave him to us, we will take care of him."
Chizuru could do nothing but nod her head. "Arigatou," she thanked the two of them, knowing that like Hijikata, their ready smiles were merely just masks. At least Hijikata would not waste his efforts in such futile attempts in appearing that he was alright with the current arrangements.
"Baka, we're merely doing what we're supposed to do," Harada told her. "I guess… what I'm trying to say is that… ever since you came here, we weren't the same men we once was. You being here gave us something more than what we were fighting for, you gave us a purpose."
Saito agreed with Harada. "Know that we will fight to our very last to protect you, Yukimura," Saito added. "You are, and always will be one of us, and we will always defend our own."
A gust of wind blew throughout the courtyard, and soon, Kazama appeared before them. "Chizuru, I have fulfilled my end of the bargain, it is time for you to fulfill yours," he said to Chizuru, holding out his hand to her as he had done in the Nishi Hong-an Ji.
Chizuru said nothing and walked towards Kazama. For the second time, Harada watched Chizuru take his hand and disappear into the remaining shadows of dawn. For the second time, he could only pray that Chizuru would be safe in the Oni's hands.
"Sano… have you ever thought what would be the outcome if Chizuru truly chose to remain with Kazama?" Saito asked him once the presence of both Kazama and Chizuru could not be felt. Harada shot a disbelieving look at Saito, clearly aghast at Saito's theory. "We are only mortal, Sano, we will die one day, but she will be forced to bear our memories even after our deaths. Do you want to leave such a fate to her?"
Harada had never thought of that before. All he knew was that human or Oni, he would protect and cherish her no matter what she was. He fell silent, the implications of Saito's words washing over him like a cold wave in winter. "Even if we'd die one day, we'll treasure each day we have with her. It would be enough," he answered, putting all his thoughts on the issue. "If you love a woman, would you love her enough to let her go?"
"I… do not know the answer to that," Saito replied, looking towards the rising sun. "But I wonder what future I can give her if even I myself knows that it ends in blood and war?"
"I guess that choice lies with Chizuru then," Harada sighed. "No matter what we feel for her, we can't make her choose either of us. As long as she's happy, then I'm happy. I think it's just this simple at the end."
Saito smiled. "Then I am of like mind with you," he replied before retiring to his room. It would be another long, long day ahead of them, and they would have to brave it, just like the other long days they have overcome, and may those days lead them to the fruits of their labors.
"You must not have gotten any sleep," Kazama said to Chizuru once they reached an inn near her old home in Edo. "Rest. We have a long journey ahead of us. We will depart when you're ready to move." He watched her as silently got about preparing herself for bed, as if the great fire in her soul had been extinguished. He had already anticipated that she would act like this, it would be worse when they burn out in the coming days of war if they dared to look past their defeat and continue fighting against what is now known as the Imperial Army.
She was crying silently, and he knew that there was nothing that he could do about it. He had pursued her to preserve the bloodlines of their people. He had brought her to his side for the sole reason, and was willing to do anything and everything to ensure that his plans came to fruition. Their emotions did not matter. He knew that his interest towards the girl had grown exponentially since their first meeting, but why… why did it make him feel a little bit sad, and a tiny bit guilty, to see such grief from her? Was he not doing her a service by severing her ties with the Shinsen-Gumi earlier, so that she would not have to go through even more pain and anguish?
He decided to throw caution to the wind and allowed himself this one moment of weakness, to put himself in her place. He laid a hand on hers as she tried to sleep, a gesture that shocked her so much that she looked up at him in surprise. "Kazama-san?" she asked as he proceeding to wipe her tears off with his thumb.
"If you truly wish to be my wife in the future, you will let go of the burdens you carry in your heart this instant," he told her, his tone strict but his voice tender, once again reminding her how similar in temperament he was with Hijikata. "Tell me everything that happened yesterday."
It took Chizuru a while to realize that he had meant no harm in saying what he did. She rose from the futon and said, "Hijikata-san told me he loved me…"
"And you love him in return, do you not?" Kazama asked. He had known such a fact from the very beginning. No man would ever risk his life for a woman like how Hijikata had done that night when he attacked the Shinsen-Gumi headquarters. He also knew that Hijikata was not the only one vying for her attentions. There were others as well, mostly the captains of the Shinsen-Gumi's various divisions. They loved her in their own way, but where the peasant samurai were concerned, Hijikata was the clear victor, and as he had observed earlier, his true rival where she was concerned.
"I… I do…" she murmured. It had not felt right for her to tell him this. But instead of showing anger and rage, Kazama only sighed, commenting once again about the weakness of humans. "It wasn't his fault! I chose to come here…"
"Yet if you have already made your mind, you can never turn back," Kazama told her. He was not being unkind. He was telling her the truth of her situation, because the fact of the matter was that she had volunteered to go with him, not through him forcing her to do so. "The moment you agreed to one day be my wife, you have already taken the first crucial steps towards sealing the future for our kind. You will have to bear the responsibilities of being both the remaining heir of the Yukimura clan and the mistress of the Kazama clan, and to do so, you must sever every single tie you have with the humans."
"Kazama-san, I'll need some time," she pleaded him. "I can't… just leave my past with them like this…" It was desperation that drove her to those words, but he realized that if he granted her request, she would have gained a great boon. The question was, did she even know what it was?
"Very well then, we shall delay our wedding by one year," Kazama announced, much to her surprise. "However, you must come with me to my lands no matter what. I cannot delay my duties to ensure my clan's safety any longer. We move at first light tomorrow." He knew that she needed time on two fronts: it was either so that she could learn to put the men of the Shinsen-Gumi into her past where they belonged, or to buy them time so that she could perhaps forged a different path than the one currently before her. He did not mind, because time was all he had to offer her.
Thus, the bet was placed between them. A game that had been set, a game where Yukimura Chizuru had bet the futures of her kind with that of her own. In a year, she would have to decide whether she wanted to continue being a bird hiding in a gilded cage formed by the men who claimed to love her, or a free spirit befitting her birthright.
HAN: Seeing as that the Boshin Wars lasted about a year, this will give our dear boys some amount of time to sort out their affairs first. Kazama better be lighter on his toes though! Oh, Saito is in this as well! Yay!
Aogetsu: Yes, Saito is really trying not to just explode in emotion like Hijikata did. I think that at some point, he would rather his friends have a chance of happiness with Chizuru than he himself, as presented in the chapter above. In his route, he loves Chizuru because she was always by his side, no matter in triumph or defeat. So this would be an appropriate stand for him to take, I guess. As for me, my OTP is Hijikata x Chizuru. However, Kazama, Saito and Harada come in close seconds. I just love them all, except, well... Heisuke. Thanks for sticking around!
Knighting Gale: Kazama would kill Hijikata then and there. But why not make it a menage a trois between them? (Hint hint) After all, Japanese prudery only existed after the Meiji Era. *OHOHOHOHOHOHOOOO~*
Divine Rosa: Thank you for the clarification! I revisited Kazama's route and found that I was wrong all along. For some reason my mind just blanked out that this... As a form of thanks, I've already written an entire chapter dedicated to the scene you've indicated! It was a necessary part as well! I'm eternally grateful, trust me!
KatsuyaSaya: As I said to Knighting Gale, Kazama would NOT let this go lightly. Hijikata is sweet by nature, I think. The Oni-Fukuchou is just the hard, jaded and strict exoskeleton of a gooey romantic right in the center of his being. He just doesn't want anyone knowing about that.
