A/N I know it has been a while but here you go. Thanks for reading and reviews are always very nice.
Chapter Nine
Starting Over
No two people ever jumped apart from each other so quickly. Remi made herself busy while tiding up an already tidy room, a room that was getting increasingly smaller and warm. The silence that followed was defining and she could feel two sets of eyes watching her. She fumbled just then losing everything she had in her one working arm watching it all fall to the ground with a clatter. No one said anything at first until Stilts finally broke the unnerving silence.
"You okay Captain?" Without turning around she gave a slight nod.
"I'm fine Jon." She answered using his first name which was something she rarely did. In fact she only used it when she was really upset, usually with herself. He didn't push the issue and for that she was grateful.
"Okay then. When you have a minute, Nixy needs to talk to you. We may have another problem."
"Of course we do." She mumbled to herself as she bent to retrieve her fallen items. "I'll be there in a minute." She heard him hesitate for a moment and then leave. He knew her well enough to leave her be when she was like this. The other one in her presents not so much. He bent down to help her retrieve the fallen items. She didn't shoo him off like she normally would have. She told herself that it was because of the pain she was in or maybe just maybe she really did want to start over.
"Hey, I'm sorry if I upset you." Poe said at her side as he tried to catch her eye. Still she kept her gaze directed toward the ground.
"It's not you Poe." She said quietly. Both stood but before she could turn away again he grabbed her gentle by the arm.
"Hey, talk to me. Tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours."
She continued to look down at the floor trying to gain some kind of dignity and prospective. How would she tell him how messed up she really was? How her faith in people was so badly damaged that she couldn't even trust herself. How did she tell him that she had been hurt so many times that she mentally and physically turned off her emotions but for some strange, unknown and unnerving reason he, Poe Dameron had managed to start to break through that? And she wasn't sure how to handle that, she wasn't prepared for it. It scared her.
"It's okay to be scared Remi." Poe said breaking her out of her trance, his hands now gripping each of her arms gently yet firmly. He ducked his head so that he could make eye contact with her and the look in his eyes told her that her inter dialog had actually been spoken out loud. She closed her eyes with a slight groan.
"Please tell me I didn't just say that stuff out loud."
"Okay...but it would be a lie." He answered with a chuckle. She felt her blush rise and tried to look away but once again he wouldn't allow it. "Hey, it's alright. I get the feeling that you are so use to taking care of everyone around you that when it's your turn you don't know how to handle it. Am I right?" She considered for a moment before slightly nodding her head.
"Something like that." She mumbled.
"So...you are going to let me help you and before you say no I'm not giving you a choice." He added just as she opened her mouth in protest.
"You have to understand. The last person I let in, that I...trusted. He betrayed me, got half of my crew killed and broke my heart. He left me broken." Every fear, every doubt came all at once and she found herself suddenly unloading all of it on to a virtual stranger. Somehow she felt for the first time in a while that she could trust him. He stepped even closer to her so that they were almost touching nose to nose.
"Then let me help fix you."
"I'm not sure I can be fix..." She never got to finish her thought because suddenly his lips where on hers. Gently at first as if he was testing the waters. What surprised the both of them however was her immediate response. She opened her mouth and the kiss deepened. It turned into frenzy, each one trying to get their fill of the other. They finally both pulled away breathless. He leaned his forehead into hers as she placed her good hand over his heart. She closed her eyes again trying to regain some kind of composer.
"So I hit you and your response is to kiss me." She finally said as she caught her breath. He laughed slightly before he answered.
"What can I say? I like a challenge. But I think that this is a challenge worth taking."
"You may end up regretting saying that. I've been told I'm a handful."
"Maybe, but I'm willing to risk it because I think you are worth it." She took a deep breath considering what he was saying.
"Please, please don't break my heart Dameron. I'm not sure I could handle that again." She felt his arm tighten around her back pulling her into a hug. She laid her head on his shoulder as he buried his face into the crook of her neck. It wasn't until that moment that she realized just how much she had missed such human contact. She felt…safe, secure and protected.
"Never, Sparky." He whispered and then chuckled again. "I think I like that we started over don't you?" He pulled away. Although reluctantly and the two of them looked at each other again. She was flushed and he with his trade mark smirk. She shook her head in disbelief but with a shy smile.
"Well someone is sure of himself." She took a half a step toward him. "But make no mistake...if I think for one minute..." She held up a finger in front of his smiling face. His smile told her he knew exactly what she was getting at. He grabbed her finger gently and finished her thought for her.
"You will throw me out of the air lock. I would expect nothing less." She tried to pull away but he just pulled her close again. Planting another kiss on her surprised lips. He then turned away and walked out the door toward the front of the ship. Leaving her still recovering and questioning everything that has just happened. It wasn't until he spoke again over his shoulder that she shook herself from her stupor.
"What are you waiting for captain?"
"You really are an ass Poe Dameron."
"Oh but you love it Remi Shaw." He disappeared around the corner with her slowly trailing behind. She was beginning to regret the whole starting over bit. Yet why did her heart seem to flutter at the thought of him kissing her again.
A/N And yup! Did that. Too soon? Let me know.
