Chapter 9

A visit and a dream

Sans takes Frisk through a door they've never used upstairs, it leads to the little bit of roof above the kitchen, where there are some metal chairs, a table, air vents and other maintenance structures. On a ledge against the wall is a row of potted plants and gardening supplies, there is a clear spot in the middle of the ledge, just enough for a person to sit.

They can see Mt. Ebbot from up here; it looms over the town from a distance, making the buildings look too small by comparison. It's quite beautiful, the sun has already set but the day is taking its time darkening into night, the streets still shining with the rain from before. Frisk leans over the wall that barely reaches their chest to look down. People and monsters fill the streets, all busily going somewhere. Frisk stares openly before a nagging thought makes them turn and ask.

"Why are there so many people out now? It was empty yesterday...What day is it today?"

"Uh, it's Monday." Sans replies, caught off guard.

Frisk nods then turns to continue staring down at the street, Flowey glances at Sans and gestures with his head at them as if to tell him to just do something about this. Sans ignores him, until he and Flowey end up struggling in silence. The flower wraps around his arm to push him forward, the skeleton pulls the vines off and backs away. Frisk turns and catches them at it, pausing at their awkward expressions with a laugh.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Nuthin...Don't get too close to the edge there, it's not safe." Sans grumbles.

They shrug and walk over, sitting on the low wall where Flowey is usually perched and patting the spot next to them. Sans places Flowey down on one of the chairs and squeezes in next to Frisk.

"I want to ask you something." they say.

"Yeah?" he's already starting to sweat, they note.

"How long has it been since I…left?"

"…Only a lil while, kid." he replies gruffly, avoiding their eyes.

"Sans…I can tell it's been more than that…Things look different, they feel really different." Sans looks away, stubborn as always; his mouth moves but he doesn't make a sound.

"I has, it's been around fifty five years since you've been gone." Flowey cuts in matter-of-factly. "He's been counting." he pointed at Sans with his head.

A glowing red bone appears from thin air, buzzing sharply as it flies, only to be dodged skillfully by a winking Flowey.

"Thanks asshole."

"They were going to figure it out sooner or later, so, you're welcome!" the flower replied , gloating much like a sibling to another. Sans growls and looks like he's about to start another argument but pauses, seeing Frisk's face.

"Is…it true?" Their panicked expression is similar to the one they had the day before, Sans nods warily, placing his hand on their shoulder.

"Yeah...it's been a while." he says lamely.

"But how did I...how am I here then?" they can't complete the thought as there is nothing to fill in the blanks inside their head.

"I dunno honestly. I thought you chose to…maybe you don't remember yet, it's ok…we just-we can figure it out." he says, smiling weakly.

"T-that's right we could ask Alphys! She can help us figure it out when…when you're ready?" Flowey chimes in nervously. They nod, storing away their unease to fuss over later. Sans' phone begins to ring and he turns away to answer, before turning back to Flowey.

"Yer mom's downstairs. Imma let her in, then pick you up. Stay here."

It's understood that it's meant mostly to Frisk, as Flowey simply nods and Sans leaves them a moment to say goodbye. He gives Frisk a reassuring hug with encouraging words to go with it; all too soon Sans takes him downstairs. They can hear a pleasant female voice alongside Sans' gruff rumble, for a few minutes before the door is closed and the skeleton returns to their side.

"Sorry 'bout that; Flowey can be a thorny prick sometimes. You ok?"he asks.

"I'm still getting used to this, but I can handle it."Sans nods at that, as if to say he understands; but he is sweating even more now and Frisk can feel the tension emanating from him.

"We're gonna have a friend staying over from next Wednesday on, his name's Pete. You've never met him but he's a nice guy. I uh, am gonna be working from tomorrow noon till the end of the week and I thought…" he drifts off awkwardly.

"It'll be nice to have company, thanks."

"Heh, yeah." he looks relieved and they sit and watch the stars come out until he falls asleep with his head on his chest. After a long while Frisk heads out to get changed; he startles awake almost immediately and looks at them through eyes narrowed by sleep.

"Where ya goin'?"

"To sleep soon, you should probably go to bed too…oh wait." they pause, realizing they're using the only bed in the house.

"Heh, I would but the couch has my name on it."

"And so does the bed. Thank you, but I think I can fit on the couch better."

"You callin' me fat?"

"W-what? No, no, that's not what I meant!" their cheeks glow slightly with embarrassment and he gives them a lopsided grin.

"I know, I know; don't get so rattled. I'll pull out the futon, you take the bed; I want ya to have it. We'll just get another one later."

They stammer all the way downstairs and Sans continues to ignore them as by the time they come out of the bathroom he's already settled on the couch making what are definitely fake snoring sounds. He continues to sleep on the couch for the next week until seeing who can make it there first it becomes like a game. He ignores their protests and somehow keeps outwitting them so that every night he's already 'sleeping' on it before they can argue. That Wednesday they met Pete, turns out he's a good cook and a great magic teacher, showing Frisk the basics of making monster food slowly but surely. Also he's a rock, literally.

Pete was once Sans and Papyrus' pet rock, but he'd grown up, gotten a job and moved out not even two decades after they reached the surface. He worked with Sans at a computer repair shop, their shifts coincided in the afternoons but Pete had most of his mornings free and so he kept Frisk company while Sans worked. Frisk was aware Sans never left them alone and it made them feel a bit uncomfortable at times, but they knew he had good intentions. It was nice for a while to just stay at home, read and watch movies, mostly catch up on all the things they had missed these last fifty odd years.

It was daunting and depressing to realize the majority of people they knew, both personally and public figures; had already passed away. Though they barely remembered anything about their friends or family it still left Frisk feeling mournful and tired. It was a strange new place they found themselves in, politics had changed much since the appearance of monsters and so had the media. Already there were movies, monster rock stars and monster themed parks. It was as if the towns had stayed the same but all the citizens and culture had been completely transformed.

It made them feel constantly displaced, which might explain why most nights Frisk would have nightmares, the kind that mingled old memories with their thoughts of each day. By the time they would get up to start the day they were unable to remember what exactly about them was so troubling, so overtime they came to mention them less and less.

Being with Sans and Pete all the time, really helped keep their minds off things, particularly because with so little to remember, there wasn't much else to think about. The week after that they finally managed to make pancakes; their food was still a little more chewy than average monster food, but at least now it was edible. They also learned that monster food tasted differently depending on who made it; Sans' food tended to be savory and sometimes spicy, while Pete's had an oaty, earthy flavor; theirs usually had a hint of sweetness and citrus. But if not used carefully magic could easily ruin a meal, so they practiced every day hoping that by the time next weekend rolled around they'd be able to make Flowey and Sans some decent pancakes.

Turns out they were decent, if not shapeless; Sans asked for seconds and Flowey kept emphasizing how much of a better cook they were. Together the three of them spent the day buying groceries and having a Jim Carrey marathon. Frisk didn't remember many of his movies but had recently become a fan and was disappointed to know he too had died in the time they were away. It had just started darkening when Sans picked up on the topic of Toriel's visit, he'd mentioned it the past few days, but as usual, he'd continued to flounder around the center of the issue.

"She's gonna ask ya a lot of questions, you know?" he warns with practiced casualness.

"I can imagine...I mean, anyone would. It's alright, but do you think she'll be upset?" they ask, their priorities clearly in disorder.

"Dunno, don't think so. She's tough, tougher than you might think; but yeah, it's still gonna be a shock."

"We mentioned something to her, she knows she'll be meeting someone from the Old Underground, so it's not a complete shock." Flowey put in hopefully.

"I guess...I just hope it turns out okay." they admit.

They wait for her to arrive, nerves rising when Sans answers his phone, signaling her arrival. He turns to Frisk then, apprehension on his face as he walks past them, placing his hand on their shoulder before shortcutting downstairs. They fidget and wait while Flowey mutters comforting nothings at their side, wrapping his vines around their shoulders with a reassuring weight. The door opens and there she is, as beautiful as she is immense. Toriel has to bend her head to pass through the doorway without her horns touching the frame. She is wearing a turtleneck, sleeves pushed over the soft fur of her forearms, a long skirt and a light coat she hands to Sans.

Her yellow eyes are still surrounded by shadows but look softer, almost dreamy. They glance nervously at her horns, sharp and still tipped with a reddish blush. She nods at them in acknowledgement, casually, intrigued but not a hint of recognition in her face. Frisk is not listening to what is being said between her and Sans, still stunned at her size, but more so at the delicate way in which she carries herself. She looks so different from the beast enveloped in flames they remember, from the disheveled creature with a sick glint in their eye, only the scar running down her ear reminds them she is the same one. She is staring at them now, curiously; they realize she must've spoken but they didn't hear a word she said.

"Uh, this is who I wanted you to meet, Tori." Sans glances between the two of them, offering her the lazy boy across from the couch to which they seem glued.

"It is very nice to meet you, my name is Toriel Dreemur." She shakes their hand in her paw and it disappears between her digits.

"It is not often I see Sans having someone over, I'm glad. He could definitely use the company before he gets too bonely." She laughs as if to herself and they are stunned enough to let out a nervous laugh. Sans smiles tensely, standing a little ways away between them.

"Howdy mom!" Flowey chirps from their shoulder, she runs her finger along his face affectionately before sitting in across from them, making the chair creak. "We wanted to introduce, or talk to you about, um..." he looks at Sans for support, who's already sweating before even saying anything.

"Toriel, I'm….my name is Frisk. It's nice to see you."

She smiles as she nods, then pauses frowning slightly as if trying to listen to the words replaying in her head. Toriel turns to Sans with a nervous laugh and avoiding looking at them. He places his hand over hers, holding it firmly and looking at her in the eyes.

"Toriel I-when I went to the grave last time, I found-it's…"

"Sans...let me do this, please. I want to explain." Frisk interrupts gently, their voice trembles but they look back at her evenly. She is holding a hand to her mouth, her eyes watering as Sans pats her other hand awkwardly. Frisk goes through the motions of taking a deep breath, still finding comfort in the gesture.

They tell them about how they awoke under the grave that night and crawled up, hiding in the cavern until Sans found them. The light in Sans' eyes disappear as he listens to the story in their own words. Toriel is staring at them attentively, her expression strained. Sans nods at them to go on, though he too looks tense, Flowey squeezes their shoulder and with a hand wrapped around one of his leaves they continue.

" Then Sans brought me here…It helped me remember. I'm still having trouble, but after awhile I remembered Flowey and you, Toriel. Even if I don't remember everything I hope that I'll be able to remember more, now that I got to see your face. I'm hoping one day I'll remember...everything."

A sharp gasp and she's covering her face, shoulders shaking, the words she mumbles are muffled into her hands. Sans makes a gesture for them to wait, rubbing her back with his other hand until he gives up and stands up to throw his arms around her, he can't really envelop her completely but it soothes her regardless. She looks up at them after a while, long lashes soaked but her eyes are sharp and focused.

"How can this be, child? You were…you died. What happened to you?" She stands and walks over hesitantly, extending a hand. Toriel cups their face, thumb lingering next to the flower peeking out from their socket.

"I…I don't know. I really can't remember a lot of things." She turns their head this way and that, examining them, looking for an answer or proof that they are lying.

"My goodness, what are all these flowers doing here? Are they hurting you?"

"I'm not sure, they don't feel like much of anything, really." they mutter, slightly ashamed. Sans makes a sound as if to clear his non-existent throat.

"We don't really know how they, uh, became like this. They had flowers growing on them when they…disappeared. But that doesn't explai-"

"Sans, they need to see a doctor. We don't even know if this is really…something dangerous. They could be sick." She sounds oddly detached for a moment as she turns to him, he frowns at her stubbornly before dodging her gaze and nodding.

"We were thinking of going to Alphys, eventually." he mumbled.

"I never thought about it but maybe she can help us figure out how Frisk became a-alive again!" Flowey corrects himself.

"Smooth. We need to get them an ID anyway. They're gonna need it if we wanna make it back to the Underground."

"Sans…" They couldn't see Toriel's expression from where they sat but they understood something was being exchanged between the two of them. He avoids whatever it is and walks over to stand next to Frisk protectively.

"I do believe this is a lot to take in for one evening. Let us take a moment, I think we all could use some tea." She says looking at them, probably as aware as anyone else in the room that Sans couldn't make good tea to save his life.

"Sure, I'll get right on that. Excuse me." They say as they stand, leaving Flowey on the couch and heading to the kitchen, trying their best not to look at Sans who is already fuming.

"Lemme go help ya. Don't want anyone saying' I'm anything but a tea-riffic host." he says bitterly.

Toriel walks in after them shaking her head at Sans, one hand cradling Flowey close to her chest.

"We could go to the Underground together, if you like? Perhaps seeing those places again will help you remember." She says softly.

"They didn't get to see much more than the ruins, Toriel, they were blind." Sans mutters.

"W-what? Oh, please forgive me, it slipped my mind. I know you told me so before, but never did see them like that, after all."

"It's fine. I can't remember much of anything either. I really must've been blind...either that or I just have a really bad memory." They say shrugging and smiling shakily.

"I am sorry, child, I did not mean anything by it. I am just…surprised. In all my years I have never seen anything like this happen, I…" her eyes drift away, pausing briefly on Flowey before a crash interrupts her.

Sans picks up the shards of the cup with his magic and flings them in the trash with force. The kitchen is quiet as they sit and he pours them tea, frowning all the while. They drink mostly in silence until Flowey starts rambling about his domestic life with Toriel to fill the quiet. She continues the conversation and soon enough all three of them are talking politely, while Sans pretends to nod off with a tattle tale frown on his face.

When it's time to go, she takes Flowey's things and they walk her downstairs, she invites them to visit her house and holds both of Frisk's hands in farewell. She then holds Sans' shoulder and though he barely says anything and is still scowling, he places his hand over hers.

"Please do talk to Alphys when you can, Sans. I'm sure she will do her best to help answer all of your questions."

"Sure." he replies all too quickly. She gives him a knowing look before turning away, Flowey waves at Frisk over her shoulder.

"See ya next weekend, Frisk!" he says happily.

"See ya, Flowey!"

Frisk takes it both Sans and Toriel are keeping a lot to themselves, but they know better than to ask about things they may not be ready to hear the answer to. That night Sans doesn't even pretend to sleep, instead he sits on the couch pretending to watch the TV. They say goodnight and he replies casually enough; yet they are sure he won't be sleeping much tonight. Not knowing what to say, they make some warm milk and leave it on the table next to the couch for him to have later.

As they lay in Sans' bed they go over the little tidbits of information they gathered today, trying to connect the images they keep in their head to the things the others say about them. It's as hard as trying to tie their memories, to the reality of each of Sans, Flowey and Toriel in person. They are always too sharp, too gentle or too dark by comparison. It is with their mind ruminating into the workings of their memories that they fall into another vivid dream.

"That is simply the way humans are. They always come back because they cannot help themselves. You don't know what you're saying. It's only because you haven't seen one before… I'm certain they would kill you too…."

-They would break you into pieces my brother-

The voice fades in and out. They see the oddly familiar face of a young monster turn in distaste, perhaps unnerved.

"D-don't say that, maybe they..."

"Forgive me, I don't mean to frighten you, but 'tis true. I have seen it…I have felt it. I know it in my heart that it's true."

Staring down at your pale hands, dotted in freckles. He takes your hand in his white paws, It's a wonder how time has changed you, yet he remains the same, looking barely a year older from the day you first saw him. When you two first met your hands were almost the same size, now his paw would almost disappear into your hand. The light beams, refracted from small holes in the barrier, peer down through the windows. Fake sunlight, fake stars, fake sky and fake freedom.

"I know, you only want to protect me but I am sure it will be fine. I will not be seeing another human any time soon, so there won't be a problem."

-It will never be fine-

His white face flashes over and over in their mind, so many times they heard him speak. So many times they kept having the same conversation.

"One day, when we are free, you will be able to see the sky with me."

Every time it became harder to listen.

"I want you to show me the stars on the surface!"

Until it became heavy.

"When we reach the surface…"

It became crushing.

"Beyond the barrier you can show me the sun and the clouds..."

They were drowning.

"We can go anywhere together…"

All they wanted

All you wanted

Was to be free

Free to live

Free to choose

Free to die

Free

Flowers running through their hands…

falling…

...falling into darkness…

Burning inside red lights.

Looking up and seeing the sky again, his voice is crying out inside you…

This is not what he wanted for the both of you.

But you can't find it in yourself to care because you are finally free

and soon enough…they will all be too…

You see it again for the first time in so many years.

The sun turning the sky red with either dawn or dusk... is utterly beautiful..

Then you see them…humans take their aim and you are torn asunder…

Into pieces…

Pieces falling down into the flowers…..

Golden flowers in your pale hands pouring down…

You pour into them just like you poured them into you…

They are filled by you…

Just as you are filled by them…

And you scream in victory or in terror.