Hey everybody! I hope you enjoy the latest chapter, I hope you all enjoy where this story is taking me and our favourite brothers. Thank you as always to all of you who favourited, followed or just read this story, each and every one of you are appreciated.

Please forgive all mistakes they're mine alone. This story is unbeta'd.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of the wonderful characters that I am taking on this journey.

AN: Please note that if there are any inconsistencies or inaccuracies in this story, I am an amateur writer and merely writing this story for fun. Please read and enjoy this story for what it is. Enjoy!

Chapter 9

Out of the Fire and into the Frying Pan

There was suddenly a hive of activity after Dean had practically screamed when he saw his brother bleeding. Random members of the rescue team took over lifting and moving the large rocks, which now needed to be moved to complete Sam's freedom.

Jim had come running over with the first aid kit and had gently pushed a visibly shocked Dean out of the way so Tim and his team could give Sam medical attention. At this point not everyone had anticipated this. Jim had a plan from getting Sam out of there and treating his many injuries one they had freed Sam but everything wasn't happened quite like he had planned.

He started asking Sam questions about his legs, did he feel any pain, nausea, dizziness, did he remember if he landed on anything sharp or if he broke something when the wall collapsed. Dean listed when Sam answered him in a pinched quiet voice and a bit dazed. "My legs felt numb before but... all I feel now is agony... My whole body hurts... No nausea but I have a headache... I... I don't know if I broke anything... I can't remember... but... my right leg was..."

Jim nodded to himself, obviously something had happened to Sam's now visible right leg. Tim could clearly see a large splinter sticking right up so as he carefully looked over the leg while pressing the now blood soaked gauze pad down harder. He wasn't sure exactly where the wood had come from, perhaps this cave had been the residence of campers or explorers who had brought wood inside to make a fire and Sam had been the unlucky one who discovered the remains.

Jim had seen a lot in his day but in all this time he hadn't seen that much blood at one time, he had rescued hikers and campers who had been lost or had taken a wrong path but never someone who had major injuries. He sucked in a suddenly nervous breath and put his confident mask back in place. "Alright Sam, don't you worry, we'll get you situated and to the chopper as soon as possible okay?" His voice sounded weird in his own head, he hoped that Sam and Dean didn't pick up on it, he needed to stay strong for both of them.

Dean finally snapped out of his frozen state when he heard his brother wince, he moved beside him and knelt down so he could get a better look at him. His brother's face was pale and he had sweat on his brow and his hands were trembling. "How're you doing Sammy?" He asked knowing full well that his brother wasn't doing too well, he was suffering from blood loss and was in an immense amount of pain.

Receiving a grunt in reply, Dean looked to Jim who was now wrapping a bandage around his little bet leg and around the piece of wood protruding from his leg. "What're you doing? You're not going to take it out?" He asked with a hint of panic in his voice, seeing Sam's shoulders tense at the question he put a hand on his back and rubbed up and down trying to sooth him.

Jim looked up frustrated at the interruption in his task, seeing the two sets of scared eyes looking back at him he stopped what he was doing to cleared his dry throat. "I can't take it out, it could have nicked the federal artery, he's already lost a lot of blood, if I take it out, he could bleed out before we even get to the hospital" he said without thinking, Sam paled even more if that was at all possible and Dean looked over at his brother and moved just a little bit closer. Knowing he had to sooth their fears quickly he leaned forward and put a hand on each of their shoulders "That's why I'm not taking it out yet, as soon as we get to the hospital the doctors and nurses can assess him and take it out in a controlled way"

Dean and Sam were looking at each other with fear and resignation. They both knew this was going to be a scary few hours, possibly days ahead and they needed each other to get through it. "Alright so… let's get it wrapped and we can get moving to the chopper and get the hell out of here" Jim said cutting through the silence that had descended over the Winchesters.

"I'm not looking forward to this… I'm a little scared to be honest" Sam said his hands making fists and his heart pounding in his chest.

"Hey, relax homey, look at it this way, you'll have all those hot nurses offering to give you a sponge bath in no time" Garth tried to lighten the mood, seeing the brothers feeding off each other's stress.

"I'm really not worried about that…" Sam said his voice sounding small and young. Dean grabbed his hand and held on tight.

"I know Sammy… we'll get through this, just hold onto me" Dean said just as Jim and his team swooped in and wrapped a brace around Sam's neck, then lifted Sam in one smooth motion, he realized he was on a canvas stretcher he didn't remember being moved onto. Once they had lifted him up, someone came around and pulled straps around him to ensure he wouldn't fall out of the stretcher. Once he finally settled between them, pain swept over him, he squeezed the hand holding his and he moaned loudly, the sound echoing around the cave.

"Easy… easy Sammy" Dean said gently putting his other hand on his brothers forehead feeling his dry heated skin.

"Okay guys, let's move out!" Jim yelled and the group, moved quickly out of the dark cave, through the multiple tunnels and suddenly out into the sunshine. Sam squinted and yelled out a curse when the sunlight hit his eyes. He had been in the dark caves for so long that his eyes were sensitive to the light. A piece of material was placed gently over his eyes and he sighed gratefully at being in the darkness once again. Taking a breath in he realized it must have been a t-shirt of his brothers as he could smell the comforting scent of his big brother all around him, calming him and lulling him into a light, pain filled slumber.

With Jim's rumbling voice barking orders and his brother's gentle hand rubbing back and forth on his forehead, Sam started to relax; he was unaware of what was going on around him as he waded in half sleep. He faded in and out and each time he resurfaced, he realized they had moved him from the stretcher to a helicopter, then to a rolling hospital bed, moving quickly under bright neon lights that hurt his eyes making him scrunch them closed and each of these times he felt the presence of his brother beside him, his hand held in the warm callused hand of his big brother, even as he was pushed down the brightly light corridor.

When his mind wasn't trying to decipher the words he knew where being spoken but were muffled like he was under water, he was in a dark, silent void, it was endless and cold, when he suddenly shivered and wished he wasn't so alone, he started to see flashes of images or memories, being displayed like home movies on a projector. They flickered and were a little blurry; the colours were old like the memory wasn't clear.

He tried to focus on keeping one of these images so it would display longer, so he could figure out what he was seeing. Focusing really hard on catching an image when it came up and holding it there, suddenly an image of Dean under the hood of the impala tinkering with something or other was displayed, Sam tried then to get the sound to work, focusing once again he was able to hear his brothers voice, singing along to some song being blasted from the impala's speakers.

Sam could tell that Dean was much younger in this particular memory and he was watching this from his own point of view. He heard his own voice as he asked if Dean could show him what he was doing. Dean smiled and motioned for him to come over, he spoke to him in that soft big brother voice that he missed so much. "Do you want to help me kiddo?" Dean asked and he remembered being surprised that his big brother would want him to touch his beloved motor car, having just received it as a birthday gift on his 18th birthday 4 months ago. He watched as he nodded his head and Dean grabbed a milk crate and picked him up and stood him on the crate so he could see inside the care, he started taking him through what each of the parts of the car was called, then he showed his younger self what he was trying to fix and he handed him a wrench and he guided him the bolt he had been trying to take off, the older brother held the smaller hand around the wrench and they started pushing and pulling to take it off, they laughed and jokes with each other and were like happy, normal brothers. Sam smiled at the long forgotten moment of light-heartedness, when he basked in his brother's time and affection. He had been so lonely, like a little boy who had a favourite toy but could no longer play with it.

He had missed his big brother terribly when he started hunting with their dad, suddenly other things were more important, hunting became more important that Sam and as much as he wanted to have a normal life, he also wanted to spend time with his brother and when they began growing apart his resentment for his father and their hunting lifestyle grew, he concentrated more on school and planned his get away by applying for colleges.

It was a time in his life that he didn't like to remember, like so many others but that time in particular what pivotal in the direction he took and how his actions broke his family apart

Sam blinked back tears of guilt and regret, as he blinked the images started flickering again. He stood in the darkness of his mind, watching memories of his small, imperfect family and as he watched happy and unhappy times with his family, he realized he could have had a lot worse. For years he rented his father's desire to force his sons to live the hunting life, but now, looking back, he realized that what he did have, more than made up for all that he didn't.

Dean sat on a surprisingly long and vaguely comfortable cushioned seat, in the waiting room of a hospital, waiting for news on his brother. Garth sat beside him, neither of them were talking but the skinny hunter glanced at the eldest Winchester every 30 seconds and could see as plain as the nose on his face that the older brother was seconds away from falling into an exhausted sleep. His head would nod as his eyes closed and a second later his eyes would shoot open, as if he was forcing himself to stay awake. Seeing his eyes close once again, Garth moved quickly toward Dean to move his body so he was lying down along the length of the long chair, resting his head on his folded up jacket. The older brother was so exhausted he didn't protest or wake up during the whole maneuver and as soft snores started coming from the sleeping form beside him, Garth cheered internally and knew the doctors would be a while before coming out to the waiting room with news of the injured Winchester, so his friend could have a little sleep.

He sat beside his sleeping friend and resigned himself to wait until he woke up or the doctor came out with news on the injured Winchester.

Dean blinked and he realized he was in the dark. "Hello?" He asked and suddenly, as if a switch was flicked, the darkness disappeared and Dean was in a motel room decorated like a western rodeo on acid. There were saddles as chairs and leather art on the walls, woodcarvings on the bed heads and a cowboy hat as a lamp. Dean shuddered then realized he remembered being in a room exactly like this just before Sam and their dad had a huge fight and his little brother left for college. Realization and dread washed over him, he didn't want to remember the worst day of his life.

Dean was brought out of his musings when the motel room door opened and Sam walked in muttering angrily to himself and started shoving things into his duffle bag. Their father stomped into the room and stalked over to the youngest Winchester and roughly turned him around and back handed him across the face leaving a red hot handprint across Sam's cheek. Dean was taken aback by the action, their father never raised a hand to Sam when they were growing up and as far as he knew that continued well into adult hood. He knew they came close to coming to blows, a number of times but Dean had always been there to get between them. "You listen to me you ungrateful brat, you are not going away to school and that is final!" John said in his most commanding voice. "I found your acceptance letter... do you really think I'm going to let you leave without a fight?"

"I'm old enough to make my own decisions and I want to go to college. It's not like I'm any good to you, wasn't it you who said I was 'useless' compared to Dean. Nothing I do can make up for the fact that I'm not like Dean" Sam was angry but Dean could tell he was sad too. He wondered momentarily where he was during all of this, he remembered being there for some of this fight, but obviously he had missed a great deal before he turned up.

"Yeah... You're right... Dean is a much better hunter, he can shoot better, he fights better, he runs better, he lies better, he knows the rules better... Overall, I even think he is a much better son... than you... What would your mother say" Dean gasped at his father's words and knew that Sam would have found his resolve to leave the hunting world. From this point on, Sam was lost to them.

Sam stood there, chest heaving, looking at his father with anger written all over his face but he had tears in his eyes. Dean's heart broke for his little brother; he had tried his whole life to measure up first to John himself then to the man who practically raised him, Dean. Sam had cried into his pillow many times claiming he wasn't good enough, that their father thought him useless but he had never heard the actual words come out of their father's mouth. Dean had always defended him, told Sam he was being defensive and paranoid. Now he knew to the truth, John had treated the youngest Winchester like a burden and on occasion told him as such. "All I wanted was to go to school... I could meet up with you p guys during my breaks, I could help research for you... I... I don't want to leave you guys... I just want something more" Sam said resigned that his father will never understand.

John moved forward and grabbed Sam by the scruff of his shirt and hissed, "When Dean comes back, and I want you gone... We'll stage it, so he thinks you're being unreasonable, but from this point on... We're done" John shoved Sam away roughly and Sam slammed into the wall with a thud and promptly fell into a crumpled heap on the floor.

Dean watched in horror as their father walked over to the small table in the room and sat down at it as if his youngest son wasn't a crumpled mess on the floor. Minutes past in silence and eventually Sam pulled himself up on his feet and hobbled to the bathroom and as he cleaned himself up in the bathroom Dean watched as his younger self came walking in the door. He didn't have to watch what came next because he had already lived through it, so he turned around and started walking the scenery changed around him and as it came into focus he saw he in the middle of a field, he was relieved that he didn't have to re-watch the epic fight that ultimately fractured their little family, but know that he knew his father had been cruel before the fight had even happened he was more inclined to be on his little brothers side and if he ever had the opportunity to see his father again, he would punch his lights out.

As darkness descended over everything he realized he had been in this field before, it was the field that he and Sam had let off fireworks and he revisited it when they had been sent to heaven. It was not something he wanted or needed to revisit, now that he knew how manipulated they had been. The darkness continued to defend over him and he realized he was waking up.

Dean startled awake yelling out for his brother rather loudly, causing Garth to jump and almost fall of his chair. They comically stood at the same time and brushed themselves off, then sat back down in the chairs they had vacated.

They were silent for a moment and when they looked over at each other and burst out laughing. It was either from embarrassment of nervous energy but it was a laugh they needed to remain sane. The laughter died down and just as they were about the fill the silence with casual chatter, the doctor came out through the doors and both hunters stood up and looked over at him expectantly. "Family of Samuel Winchester?"

"Yes" Dean replied walking quickly over to him with Garth following close behind, he tried really hard not to see the blood that stained the doctors scrubs knowing it was probably his little brothers. He followed the doctor into the hall way and watched the physician for any signs that his brother was more gravely ill that he was about to tell him.

"Your brother is a very lucky man" he said with a smile, Dean wasn't so sure lucky was what he would describe his brother as but they could both do with a little luck. "Let me put it to you bluntly Mr Winchester, if you or anyone from the rescue team had pulled that price of wood out of your brothers leg, he would have died" Dean's face went pale at the thought.

"He's... He okay though?" Dean asked tentatively.

"Your brother has a long recovery ahead of him but yes... he's okay" Dean left out a long breath in relief as he looked over at Garth who had his hand on his shoulder in manly comfort.

"Can we see him?" Dean asked suddenly needing to see his little brother more than anything.

"They're just getting him settled into a room, let me just check if he's ready and I'll show you where he is" The doctor walked over to the nurses station and the two hunters stood nervously together waiting to see the injured Winchester.

"I feel like I haven't seen Sam in a long, long time... Garth... and I don't just mean since we got to the hospital" Dean said feeling vulnerable and sad about the whole situation.

Garth looked over at the eldest Winchester and gave him a small smile "I'm sure you and Sam will sort things out... he seemed like he really wanted to make things right, he never wanted any of this" Garth said honestly, he had been watching the brothers for a long time and he knew they had their issues but he saw the writing on the wall before they did, if they didn't fix their relationship something was going to give and he was pretty sure it was going to be the youngest Winchester.

"Yeah, I know..." The doctor returning and motioning them to follow him cut Dean off.

"Sam's been settled into his room" they followed the physician down the corridor, then to the right, then the left until finally stopping in front of a room that held the motionless body of his little brother. Sam was always moving, his legs kicked and he tossed and turned a lot while he slept, even when he was sick he moved so spot see his little brother so still was unnerving. Dean felt a gentle push from behind him and he was moved closer to his sibling's body, he immediately grabbed Sam's hand as he was maneuvered to the plastic chair beside him. He hated waiting but he was not moving an inch until his little brother was awake and chattering away about salads, crosswords and some novel he was reading, then he would know they were going to be alright.

Sam was still in the dark with nothing to occupy his mind but his memories. He concentrated again and another image came into focus and he saw his father standing over an injured Dean cutting open his shredded shirt, it was soaked in blood and Sam watched the scene from his own point of view. Young Sam was watching from across the room and he saw his, teary eyed father talking to his brother as he wiped his son's chest clean of blood. Young Sam moved closer and he asked in a scared voice "Is Dean Okay?... D… Dad?"

Their father ignored him for a moment and after a quiet moment he turned to the younger brother and glared at him. "He would be whole lot better if you had done your job… what were you thinking Sam?" he asked in his authorities, marine voice, and the one that Sam dreaded on a daily basis.

"I… I'm sorry…" he trailed off too scared by the look of disgust in his father's face.

"This is your fault Sam! If you have listened to me and for once did what you were told, this never would have happened!" John bellowed as his youngest son "He killed that thing, injured as all hell, just because you couldn't do what you were told!" Their father watched as Sam took a scared step back. He saw his face crumble and he caught a glimpse of tears in his eyes as he turned to run away.

He was stopped by his brothers soft voice "No" Dean had awoken during their Dads tirade and his hand was outstretched to stop his little brothers retreat.

"Dean?" John had moved to stand so quickly the chair he was sitting on fell over. "Thank god" relief smooth out his tired features.

"Sammy?" Dean called softly again and as Sam turned just enough to see his big brothers face, Dean wiggled his fingers in request for him to move closer. Dean moved his head to see his father as Sam grabbed his hand "It wasn't Sam's fault Dad" He said just as softly as before but with more force.

"What do you mean? Dean you're hurt because of him" John said for the second time, not noticing the hurt look on the youngest Winchesters face.

"He… He saved me Dad, you didn't see it because you were too far ahead, charging into the forest but Sammy killed it… I was distracted and…. I didn't see it coming" Dean said looking at his little brother with awe, the youngest Winchester had really come into his own with this one and his older brother was the only one to see it. He had moved fast, smooth and practiced, from months of sparing.

"What?..." John was stunned but not at all surprised that Dean would defend his little brother. "You killed it?" He asked Sam who was holding his brothers hand and looking at him with teary eyes.

When Sam nodded John let out a breath and put his hand on his son's head, he had really dropped the ball on this one, he hadn't noticed that the brothers where now a formidable team, they worked so well together on a hunt and he had been absent for so long that he hadn't noticed, he hadn't noticed both his sons had grown up.

"Well… good job Sammy" John said a little strangled like it was a weird thing to say. Obviously he hadn't praised his youngest son all that often but it shouldn't be this hard.

Dean smiled at his little brother, they both know that was John's version of an apology, so they didn't push for him to say the actual words. "Yeah… good job Sammy" Dean smiled at his brother again and was rewarded with a smile in return. Everything had changed after that, more training and more pressure to concentrate on hunting instead of school and sports. Sam had started his growth spurt and his escape plan after that, when he left on that cold dark night, he had $100 to his name and a family who thought he was abandoning them but he remembered that hunt when he proved his father wrong.

Sam blinked and the memory flashed by, he had tears in his eyes and he wiped them away angrily, he thought after all these years he would have gotten past his father's inherent ability to see the worst in him, to never see how much he did to help his little family. Sure he didn't excel at the physical stuff, but he contributed in his own way, there were many times while he was at Stanford that he had sent Intel and research to Bobby, which he had then passed on to the older Winchesters who never knew where it had come from. Bobby had been his link to his family for the whole time he was away, they would talk on a weekly basis and trade information.

He was suddenly aware of a familiar voice talking to him from above him. "Sammy?" Dean sound tired but hopeful that his little brother was finally waking up.

Sam wanted to stay in the darkness and watch and reminisce on his life but the sound of his brother's voice sounding so weary made him think twice. He wanted to reassure him that he was OK but was lost in the darkness of his own mind.

"Sammy… please… open your eyes" Dean said his voice shaking like he was crying.

"I'm here Dean! I want to wake up!" Sam yelled and in a flash he was lying in a hospital bed with thin, scratchy sheets, his brother's face hovering over him, he had a few days growth of a beard and he had dark circles under his eyes. "D'en?" He whispered and got a huge relieved smile from the older Winchester brother.

"God, it's good to see you awake Sammy" Dean was holding onto his hand and touching his head in a slow motion that was calming and so familiar he knew it wasn't some shapeshifter or imposter.

Dean was holding onto his hand so tightly it was as if he was afraid to let go or else he would disappear. "D'en? Wh's wr'ng?" Sam asked, he was mumbling but Dean was leaning over so close to him that he was able to hear the words.

"Other than the fact that you've been asleep for a week… um well… you've been through a lot of surgery Sammy…" Dean said vaguely.

"Wha, a week? What happen'd?" Sam's mind was still a little fuzzy but it was getting clearer, he remembered finally getting out of the cave but everything between was blurry and it hurt trying to remember what had happened.

"You have a lot of metal in your body Sam… pins in your leg and pelvis, you lost a lot of blood and you were lucky I donated some so you have some of my awesome flowing through your veins Sammy" Sam said smirking at his brother's disgusted face.

"Ewwwww I hope they tested it for STD's" Sam said a lot more alert and just when Dean was about to reply a nurse came in the door.

"Ah, you awake" exclaimed the nurse whose name tag said Helen and had a kind smile. "I'll page the doctor… it's nice to see you have ahhh… green eyes"

Sam furrowed his brow at that and looked at Dean in question when the nurse left the room "They were taking bets on what colour your eyes were, you have all the nurses falling over themselves dude" Dean chuckled to himself, he hadn't told his brother yet that most of the nurses were middle aged cougars who just wanted to mother him.

"Ah man... great... more fuel for you to tease me with..." Sam moaned in little brother frustration.

"I have more than enough fuel to last me a life time Sammy" Dean chuckled as Sam covered his eyes.

There was a moment of silence as the brothers revealed in the light moment and when Sam took his hand away from his face, he couldn't hide the strange look that crossed his face. Dean was looking right at him, watching him and couldn't miss it and as he was about to ask his brother what was wrong, Sam moved his head away as a lame attempt to hide. "Hey, what's going on?"

Just as Sam was about to answer the nurse returned with the doctor and the moment was broken. Dean was hadn't seen that look on his brothers face in quite some time, it was a look that told the eldest Winchester brother that Sam was thinking something over before revealing it. Whatever it was, Dean wasn't going to let his little broker deal with it alone.

The doctor explained the extensive injuries he had sustained from the cave in and with each one he visualized how long it would take him and how much pain he would have to endure before he was back up to at least the walking injured instead of the walking dead.

Broken ribs which caused a puncture lung, cracked pelvis and severed femoral artery for which he lost half his blood volume, dislocated shoulder and sprained elbow, concussion and a whole bunch of scratches and bruises. The doctor agreed that he was in a real sorry state and he wasn't looking forward to the recovery period. If he and his brother were at each other's throats by being in the impala to motel room back to Impala for hours on end with the only opportunities for alone time was after dinner and the chance to at least change the scenery by driving from town to town, then being forced together in one room for days, weeks and possibly, months while he healed was going to be the death of one or both of them. Sam would have to encourage his brother to go out more often and do things including hunting on his own. Sam wasn't going to be of any use to him until he was back on his feet so in order to keep the peace and to make sure his brother didn't leave his sorry ass behind the first chance he got, there had to be some incentive.

Dean watched as each injury was listed and Sam's face paled more and more until he was practically the same colour as the white sheets he was currently laying on. The injuries and the recovery period for the brothers seemed daunting but after everything Dean couldn't help but thank to lord or whatever deity was listening that his brother was alive and would eventually recover. The older brother was already thinking of things he could do to make his brothers recuperation as pleasant one for both of them.

Seeing his brother's distress at the news of his injures Dean decided to soften the blow. "Hey Sammy, Don't worry okay, I'll be with you each step of the way… and… I have a surprise planned so you have to get better so you can leave this place and get to enjoy this surprise" Dean smiled reassuringly and his younger brother and he noticed a spark of excitement glitter in his eyes. He was thrilled at the small victory and vowed to swing the plan into action as soon as he left for his hotel room when visiting ours was over.

Now that his brother was alert, he was actually looking forward to sleeping in a proper bed. He had paid for the hotel but hadn't spent much time there, opting to stay by his brother's side.

Sam smiled at his brother's offer and he felt excitement flow through his system like a boost of energy. He was relieved beyond words that his brother seemed to want to be with him and even though his insecurities and lack of self-worth was a huge stumbling black with their relationship he was extremely grateful that he had a big brother like Dean. Someone who despite everything that had happened to drive them apart was willing to move past it all and help him heal. A small voice inside the youngest Winchesters mind told him to wait until he was healthy enough to get back to normal and watch his brother walk out the door again.

Shaking those thoughts from his mind, Sam looked over at the doctor expectedly; he was more than curious what the next steps where in his recovery. "Hey, so… what's next Doc? How do I get out of here?" Sam asked knowing all too well it wasn't going to be simple.

The doctor looked at the young man in the hospital bed before him and the obvious big brother beside him and knew from what he had just witnessed, that they were a force to be reckoned with. "Well, we would ideally like for you to be able to start physical therapy as soon as possible but with your injuries it's going to be slow going…"

Sam opened his mouth to protest, that he was willing to do all the work necessary to get back on his feet, when the doctor put his hand up to stop him. "At first…. We will take baby steps… literally. I want you up and trying to get from here to the door. If you can do that... no matter the speed or how it looks… then you can move on to walking in the pool in the rehab centre down stairs" The doctor could almost see the wheels turning in the youngest brothers face.

He looked over at Dean and knew he would take his duty as big brother very seriously. "Gently, slowly and he is not to over exert himself… I mean it, his body is healing, we have metal pins keeping it together, DO NOT make me go back in there and have to fuse it all together" Sam grumbled at the absurdity of being a grown man but not being able to do what he wanted, he would be subjected to being mother-henned into an early grave.

Dean could almost see the bitch face underneath the grumpy face of his brother who had folded his arms in front of himself in a defensive position and was trying really hard to hide from what his doctor was saying. "Thanks doc" Dean said politely, dismissing the doctor to take care of his sibling.

"Sammy?" Dean asked when Sam didn't move from his position. "Hey? I promise, I won't overdo it on the mother henning" Dean said while trying to catch his brother's eye.

Sam wanted to reassure his brother but after everything that had transpired before and during his confinement, he wasn't sure if their confessions were going to be enough to gain his brothers forgiveness. "Okay" he all but whispered, it was all he could get out from his tight throat.

"I mean it... Sammy?" Dean noticed his brother was still avoiding his eyes. "What's going on with you?" Dean asked, seriously worried that there was something more going on than he was aware of.

"Sorry… It's nothing… really" Sam said, his mind was running in all different directions, his thoughts were scattered and he couldn't hold on to one thought for long.

"No… it's not nothing… what's going on in that big brain of yours?" Dean was a little worried, his little brother was all over the place but considering what he had been through it was kind of inevitable.

"It's just… I… this is going to sound really lame" Sam said wishing he was able to hid but with his current injuries was impossible.

"What is it?" Dean asked determined to find out.

"I had a… weird dream, while I was… unconscious… asleep or whatever" Sam said, feeling his cheeks go hot with embarrassment.

"Okay… so did I" Dean admitted, thinking back on his unusual dream. He didn't think anything of it when he had woken up.

Sam looked at Dean like he had grown a second head. Dean knew he was very sensitive when he came to his dreams, he'd had nightmares most of his life and when he had gone to Stanford they morphed into visions and premonitions, then many years later when he had been brought back from the cage he had his memories to deal with. His dreams were always something he took great notice of so if Dean was making fun of them or making light of them, Sam was pretty sure he was going to have an argument on his hands. "Really Dean? Don't bullshit me man… I'm not in the mood" Sam stated a little sharply to get his point across.

"I'm not bullshitting you Sam, I swear I had a funky dream myself last night, it was about us actually" Dean said trying to recall the specifics of his dream.

"Are you serious?" Sam was honesty curious. His brother never had dreams that he would remember.

"Yes, I am, but it wasn't a happy dream, by any stretch of the imagination. Dad was in it and he did something to you I don't know if it ever happened but if he did, I'd want to kill him myself" Dean didn't really think it actually happened but his heart still raced at the thought.

Sam looked at this brother and wondered what their Dad could have done to get that kind of response from him. "What'd he do?"

"Nothing Sammy… it didn't happen anyway so it doesn't matter" Dean said moving away slightly so his sibling couldn't see his eyes, knowing that they would betray him.

Sam watched his brother and knew he was hiding something, worried now that whatever his brother dreamt about was a lot worse that he imagined. Their father did and said a lot of things that his older brother wasn't privy to and would probably never believe. Dean had always had a special place in his heart for their father, he was a hero and everything he had done had been for their own protection.

Sam knew the only way to get his brother to open up to him was to open up about his own dream. "We were young and you got hurt because of me. Dad was so pissed, cause it was my fault... but you told dad that I killed the monster" Sam knew that was going to get his brothers attention.

"What?" Dean asked, a little taken about by his brothers statement.

"My dream, you were hurt on a hunt, we were young, and I think I was 15 or 16... Dad said it was my fault, I felt like it was" Sam said, the feelings of inadequacy and guilt flooding back.

Dean racked his brain to recall which hunt his brother was talking about, he remembered he was hurt pretty bad after a Wendigo hunt and Sam had avoided him for the whole two weeks of his recovery. He had to practically beg his little brother to talk to him. "I remember that one... I don't really remember much but I remember you avoided me for days" Dean said remembering the distance that was between them at the time, they grew apart and didn't really talk much after that. Not that they both didn't try, but they both realised that they both had other interests and just couldn't find anything they had in common. Thinking back he was sad that what was once an easy relationship, became harder and harder to the point that when Sam finally left for college he was almost relieved.

"I didn't avoid you, I just... Dad made me feel bad a about what happened" Sam said, his adolescent self so vividly in his head, he knew it was another step towards planning for Stanford.

"Yeah, you did, whenever I came into a room you would leave, you didn't talk to me about anything" Dean said a little resentfully, he had really missed his little brother and knew they never really got that closeness back.

"No I didn't!" Sam yelled, he took a deep breath to calm himself down, he wasn't sure why he was getting so worked up. All he had to do was just change the subject and Dean would never know.

"Yeah you did, it was like I had the plague or something!" Dean yelled back and when Sam looked back at him he knew there was something else going on. "Or were we just too good for you or something, it was only a few short years later and you were out of there so fast it was like you had someone on your tail!" Dean yelled again, this was obviously something they had need to talk about but they never did, it was just cast aside as the dark time of their family, never spoken of.

Sam was shocked and a little hurt by his brother's words, if Dean only knew the truth. He was quiet for a moment when he realised the only reason he had never told his brother was because of their Dad, he was always there to remind him of his promise to never reveal what really happened. "Dean... I never wanted to avoid you when you were hurt, in fact all I wanted to do was stay with you" Sam said, completely avoiding the topic of Stanford.

"So why didn't you... I wanted to spend time with you, talk about stuff we never got to talk about, I didn't understand why you were so different" Dean said sadly.

Sam took a breath, it was now or never "Do you want to know why everything changed Dean?" Sam asked knowing that Dean would have a lot to say about the real reason.

"Of course Sammy..." Dean replied, unsure why his brother wouldn't just tell him, a little voice in his head told him to be a little worried about what his brother was going to tell him.

Sam took a moment to get his thoughts together, he really didn't want to change his brother's opinion of their father but if he wanted the truth, it was going to hurt.

"Dad... told me, it was my fault... he... after you told him that I was the one who killed it, he... took me aside and... let's just say, took your injuries out on my hide" Sam said watching his brothers reaction.

"What?" Dean whispered, he hadn't known what his brother was going to say, but he wasn't prepared for that.

"He didn't do it all the time, but after that hunt, my training was ramped up, I tried so hard to be like you but, I was too clumsy, too weak, too much of a failure..." Sam said self depreciatingly.

Dean had to stop that train of thought before it went on far. "No... Sammy, you were never a failure, not to me… you just had to grow into your legs" Dean said, he had never let his brother think anything but positive things about himself, seeing his little brothers sad face he tried to lighten the mood "You just had to grow into your legs" chuckling Dean saw the small smile on his little brothers face and cheering. He remembered how hard he had trained, practiced and studied and how his little brother always tried his hardest to be faster, stronger and more accurate but their father never saw it, he only saw how lacking he was and he never understood it, as far as he was concerned his little brother was awesome.

"Not to dad... Dean, you never saw it but... Dad was different with me, he wasn't what you thought he was" Sam could see the cogs working in his big brothers head, he knew that Dean was one step away from either denying any of this or realising the truth. "The real reason I started leaving you alone, was because Dad... threatened to leave me at Paster Jim's... forever... he said he was embarrassed to call me his son... and..." sniff "he said next time I messed up... he was going to let the monster kill me" Sam said sniffing, the emotions he had swirling around his head was making him emotional and seeing his brothers face as his world shattered. Unsure what Dean was feeling after such a revelation he wanted to comfort him in some way "Dean?" he stopped the hand he had moved towards his brother, if he was mad at him for telling him a story that count possibly be true, any physical contact would not be welcomed or if he were simply upset that the man who had always been his hero was nothing more than a tyrant, he knew his older brother didn't like being coddled.

Sam laid there watching as his older brother broke down, he wasn't sure what he should do, he shifted slightly and pain shot through him, his injuries forgotten in the haze of his confession and he groaned, bringing his brothers head up, Sam moved his face away from Dean, not wanting to bring attention to himself. "Sammy?" His brother asked, his voice gruff from his tears and Sam felt his own tears gather again, frustrated at his weakness as the pain ebbed and flowed over him again.

"Sorry..." Sam whispered, his own misery at making his brother forget his own feelings.

Dean looked at his little brother and was reminded of his dream, maybe his nightmare had actually happened, now the he knew their father could be unforgiving to the youngest Winchester, it was possible he crossed a line that Dean wasn't sure he could ever forgive. After years of being forbidden to see or contact his little brother while he was at school to learn that perhaps he was the reason it had happened so dramatically was earth shattering.

"My dream was…. It was about the night you went to Stanford" Dean started seeing his little brothers head pop up to look at him in shock he continued. "It was before I came back to the room… I'm not sure why I dreamt something that I didn't witness so obviously this couldn't have happened… but" Dean rambled on and he saw Sam's eyes go wide in anticipation. "Dad…. he knew about your acceptance letter and he… he got a little physical... and he told you in no uncertain terms to leave and never some back" Dean said sadly, when he looked up at his little brothers face he saw the truth in his eyes, he gasped as the realization that perhaps his dream, wasn't just a dream but the truth.

Sam looked at him like a deer caught in the head lights. He had expected him to deny that it had ever happened and to call him crazy, but this silence that was laced with fear was making alarms go off in his mind.

Sam blinked once, his heart was hammering in his chest and his blood ran cold, he had never spoken of what had happened before the big fight and he was positive that their father had never mentioned it. He truly thought he was taking that little skeleton in the Winchester closet to the grave. "How... how did you find out about that?" Sam was so shell shocked that he couldn't look his brother in the eyes.

Dean took in his little brother demeanor and thought over his statement, he had proof now that their father had actually hurt his little brother, he only had one word for this situation "f #k!"

TBC