Not In A Million Years

Chapter 9

"W-when did you realize I wasn't lying?" I asked as I leaned forward on the couch, struggling to meet Kakarot's gaze, while he obviously struggled to avoid mine. It was still the crack of dawn, but I was wide awake somehow.

He bit his thumb nail distractedly, "About seven hours ago when your ki went all wobbly, and I had to leave a meeting at court to IT over and save your ass."

"You were at court? Why?" I asked.

His eyes snapped to mine, "I got a job there, Vegeta, what do you think?" he said sarcastically, "No, I was there to file a divorce with ChiChi, but obviously I was interrupted."

My shoulders slumped. He was still mad at me. Why was he still mad at me? I was telling the truth!

Kakarot's gaze drifted a little and he crossed one leg over the other, "ChiChi said she'd been planning to get a divorce for a long time now. I had no argument; things were getting kind of stale between us to be honest. We talked about it for a long time, we went to court to ask for advice, and last night the final stake was driven in when I showed up with you and tried to explain your condition. The divorce will be finalized in a few weeks."

He took a moment to compose himself, obviously still conflicted over the issue.

"When I left court and teleported to where you were, I sensed another ki signature, one I didn't recognize, and it was coming from you," he glanced at me quickly before looking away, "Your unstable ki must have dipped low enough for me to be able to pick it up."

I laid a hand over my midsection protectively. Usually I felt safe around Kakarot, around his dependable power and strength; but right now I felt wary, as if he'd lash out at me randomly.

He was silent for a moment.

"How long?" he asked flatly.

"What?"

"How long has it been?" he flipped an errant bang out of his face carelessly and fixed his coal eyes on me.

I bit my tongue hard to keep the million sharp retorts I had in mind inside.

"A little less than two months," I said quietly, trying to mimic his effortless tone.

Said coal eyes narrowed a little bit, "That sounds right," he nodded slowly, "I remember, but…"

But…? I met his stare perplexedly.

"….Never mind,"

"No, Kakarot, what were you going to say?"

He tilted his head to one side, "ChiChi started showing around week three with Gohan, and you barely are now," he said tightly.

Would it kill him to put a little emotion in his voice?

I blinked once, twice, thinking about what he said.

"What are you implying?" I asked carefully.

He closed his eyes for a moment, as if the whole situation was just overwhelming him. Understandable, I guess.

"Maybe," he said calculatingly; I was surprised by his insight; wasn't he usually so clueless? "Maybe… p-pregnancy is longer for Saiyans than it is for humans."

I noticed the slight stutter and smirked grimly, well, at least he's unnerved like I was.

Then I realized what he said and I winced, this last month has seemed like an eternity. How long is human pregnancy again?

"I wouldn't know," I muttered, "I don't know a thing about either kind,"

"Well then," he said bluntly, standing up, "You're in luck, because I at least know about human pregnancy – so do ChiChi and Bulma, obviously – both of them made me sit through their many complaints and constant griping and ultrasounds –"

"Ultra-whats?" I stammered, interrupting him.

He set his teeth in annoyance. I wished he wasn't still being so hostile; I still had feelings for him – though I wasn't about to say that – and, instinctual or not, I still wanted to be with him.

"Bulma hasn't done that yet?" he asked stonily.

I blinked quickly, "N-no, what is it?"

I thought about how bizarre it was that Kakarot knew something scientific that I didn't. Especially something like this.

"Just a way of examining the fetus while it's still in the womb," he grit out, as if the words tasted bitter.

I stood up as well, a little unsteady on my feet after my fall earlier.

"I'll talk to Bulma about this," he said, almost to himself, "After all, that's my child too."

Jeez, he said it like it was a parasite or something.

"Kakarot," I said imploringly, "Why are you so mad at me? Why are you so against this?"

"Hn, I thought of all people, you'd be," he muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He glared at me piercingly.

"It's a commitment, Vegeta, one I thought you wouldn't be interested in. It's also a major ordeal. I only had to witness it once, and that was bad enough. ChiChi had to go through it twice. I can't even imagine that."

I looked at him, puzzled, "What do you mean?" I felt like I kept using the same four words in different combinations over and over…. Was this what it was like to not have a clue?

"Didn't anyone tell you?" he spat, then he chuckled without humor, looking away again, "Of course Bulma didn't. She gets her scattered brain from her mother. And obviously you wouldn't know. You weren't there when Bulma was pregnant with Trunks."

I just blinked, unsure how to respond.

"Ask any woman on the face of the Earth; or any planet for that matter," Kakarot went on, still refusing to look at me, "Being pregnant is not a walk in the park."

I narrowed my eyes, "I know that," I began.

"Do you?" he snapped, "You're a month and a half in and you know everything there is to know?"

I looked at him with my mouth slightly open, scrambling for a retort. I remembered my confusion with the mood swings, the morning sickness and the dreams. I decided not to reply and just let him continue.

Kakarot shook his head slowly; there was a glint in his eyes that I didn't particularly like.

"First of all," he said fluidly, "There are the hormones. Believe me, that's bad enough as it is. ChiChi is high strung by nature, but when she was pregnant it was like she was a demon with black hair. And with you there'd also be the male hormones mixed in, and I can't even imagine what kind of chaos that'd cause." He paused to gauge my reaction, I did my best not to give him one; I knew all of this, "Then there's the morning sickness,"

"I know –" I began heatedly.

"I'm not finished," he interrupted, "You think it's bad now? Just wait until nearly everything you smell and every bit of food you look at makes you want to hurl. With your sensitive Saiyan nose, it shouldn't take long. You wouldn't believe how many times I got up at the crack of dawn to sit with ChiChi while she puked her guts up. And why? Because she asked me to. How many times has Bulma done that for you?"

Did I detect a hint of…. Jealousy?

"Then there's the cravings," he went on, he gave a short laugh, more like an exhalation than anything else, "ChiChi demanded the craziest things; smoked salmon with barbeque sauce, cottage cheese with parmesan; she put ranch on everything. I assume it'll be even crazier for you, since you're Saiyan and all.

"And that's all before she got big. Then she started complaining that her back hurt and the baby was kicking her ribs out. She was hungry all the time and achy and uncomfortable." He gave me a look that was truly evil. I hoped to never see it on his face again, "And then there's childbirth. Just the word itself recalls horrors or blood, sweat and screaming. They say there's absolutely nothing more painful than giving birth. That's why all the girls say we're lucky to be male, you know. Well…" he gave me that look again, "…Most of us."

I felt a chill slither down my spine.

"And after that, there's the midnight crying and the feeding and the diapers and the sleep-deprivation. The terrible twos. The teenage years. Trust me, it's a nightmare." He looked like he was enjoying himself, tormenting me with the knowledge.

"But –" I began, "With your sons, you seem so happy."

"Well I wasn't there for most of Goten's childhood, and you didn't even know me when Gohan was little."

"So then…. You regret it?" I asked carefully, "You regret having children?"

He looked at me for a moment, his expression almost wistful, "No. I don't regret it. Goten and Gohan are my whole world, I love them to pieces and I'd do anything for them."

"But…" I began, understanding now, "You don't want another."

He tsked and tossed his hair out of his face again, "I'm tied down again. And this time it's you tying me down. I never thought I'd see the day."

"Then…you…." I swallowed hard, "Y-you don't want me to keep it?"

His eyebrows furrowed a little, "That's your decision to make, Vegeta. But you shouldn't make it unless you've got all the facts. Not some half-explanation of Bulma's. I'll stay with you until it's born, because that's my responsibility, if you do keep it. But no longer, and for no other reason." I saw the firmness of his gaze, he wasn't about to change his mind.

So. Kakarot really didn't have feelings for me. He was only staying because it was his commitment. One I forced on him apparently. His anger at me made sense now.

Strangely, the realization didn't make me angry, offended, or even particularly sad. I felt numb, like someone had reached in and tore out my nervous system.

"Well," I said slowly, carefully, tasting each word of the final decision, "I'm going to keep it. No matter what you say. I've worked too hard to turn back now," I glanced up at him once, just once, "You don't have to stay if you don't want to. I won't tie you down. I've got the woman's help; that should be more than enough."

He looked irritated, or maybe affronted, it was hard to tell, "Even if you think I don't have an ounce of pride in me – maybe I don't, maybe I don'twant to – I at least have a sense of duty. You've taken just about everything from me; I won't let you take that too."

I almost bit my tongue off.

I stared for a long time, my ire rising with every second, then I exploded angrily, "I'm sorry, who's taken what from you?" I shouted, "I haven't taken a damn thing from you! If anything you took everything from me! My freedom, my dignity, my body…! I didn't ask for this, I didn't evenconsider it! But I'm seeing it through, whether I like it or not! I doubt I'd be able to say the same of you if you were in my position, you coward! So I'll say it," I took a deep breath and said steadily, "I'm pregnant," he winced slightly, but I pressed on, "And I'm proud. I'm proud of myself, I'm proud of my decision and I'm proud of my son," I clasped my hands over my waist and added, "Or daughter. And you can just go to hell if you think you're going to take that away!"

I think for the first time since I'd known him, Kakarot didn't just look angry, he looked murderous.

"I've been to Hell," he reminded me icily, "So have you. Where do you think the kid will go?"

"What?" I probably should have stayed mad, but he caught me off guard.

"King Kai said there wasn't a single Saiyan besides me and the half-Saiyans that went up above. They were all sent to Hell, Vegeta. Do you want to put your child through that?" his voice was quiet, but it was sharp like a knife.

I started to respond, but then I realized we were just going in circles here, "Look, do you want to leave or not? Make up your mind, Kakarot, stay or go."

"This is my house," he pointed out.

"Not the point," I snapped, "Are you going to make me go through this alone? Because I will, if you decide to back out."

He just looked at me, and I looked back, for a long time. I started counting the seconds after a while, waiting for him to say 'yes' and leave.

"I'll stay," he said almost too softly for me to hear, "But not for you, Vegeta. I'll stay for the child. Once it's born, I'm leaving."

I could have argued, but I remembered his explanations and warnings. He had something to offer: knowledge; though I probably would never have admitted to Kakarot having half a brain before this mess started.

His strength, however, could either prove as a major boon, or a deadly threat.

"Fine," I said shortly, the distrust was so thick in the air I could almost taste it, "You want in? Welcome aboard."

I hoped to the gods that I hadn't just made a huge mistake.

TBC