A/N: So, my school has finally seen sense enough to let me on to (if only for 10 mins a day), which means I can update :D And also means I had beeter get writing again before I run out of chapters to give you! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Oh!
That's the other thing; this story has rather a large number of subscriptions now, and a shockingly small number of reviews. I haven't written anything new for this story in well over a year, and whilst it is nice to see that there is interest... I'm a vain being :P If you want to chapters to come a little faster, reviewing might help :)
Lydia hugged her mother tightly, feeling her shoulder becoming damp with the older woman's tears. She kissed Mary Neeson's hair and whispered in her ear.
"I'll be fine, mum. Dumbledore will keep us safe- he always does. You just look after yourself."
Mary Neeson sobbed violently, clutching the back of her daughter's shirt as though she would never let go. "I just can't believe anyone would do such an awful thing to two such lovely children, and that your father would encourage that. I- I always knew he was... well, we had our differences in views, but... this! I hope they find him, and lock him away. And that Greyback man!"
"They will mum, just... give them time." Lydia assured her mother, patting her back comfortingly.
"It's not right! I should be looking after you, not just handing you over to the school!" Mary Neeson said, clenching her fists in anger that was more frustration than anything that she was unable to help her daughter.
Lydia should her head. "It's the best place for me to be, mum, you know that. Look, Professor Dumbledore will be here any minute, you can talk to him about it."
Mary sniffed. "It is good of him to come all the way here to collect you. That's how a headmaster should act! Dippet would never have gone to the lengths Dumbledore has to safeguard his students and the school in my day."
Lydia smiled, glad that her mother couldn't see as she rolled her eyes. "Exactly. He's a good man, mum- trust him."
Lydia's mother nodded, and stepped away from her daughter. She wiped the tears away from her eyes with the back of her hand and stood tall, biting the inside of her lip. She looked her daughter up and down with critical eyes. "You've grown, dear."
Lydia looked down at herself. "I suppose I have. Remus said I would- the werewolf gene triggers a growth spurt, apparently."
"How queer," Her mother remarked. "You just owl me anything you need resized, and I'll send it right back."
Lydia rolled her eyes. "Mum, I am quite capable of doing that myself, thanks. Anyway, you know you mustn't stay at home, in case dad comes back. Gorgon mightn't be able to find you."
Her mother shook her head, and Lydia saw fresh tears forming in her eyes at the thought of what her husband could do. They did love each other, once, Lydia remembered, How far they have fallen.
"Gorgon would find me- owls have a way of doing that- but you're right, and I'm sorry. You're not a child anymore, and I shouldn't treat you like one, but..." She broke off, biting back tears. "But I feel like I'm losing you! When you first started growing up and not needing me anymore, that was hard enough, but now this! And don't misunderstand, dear, I still love you and I understand the reasons but... I just don't feel like you're mine anymore, not completely. I'm sorry." Mary Neeson bowed her head, silvery tears streaking down her cheeks for the umpteenth time that day.
Lydia put her arm around her mother's shoulders again, and pulled her into another hug. "It's okay, mum, I know. I know. We can get through this, though. I still love you- we'll be fine."
Mary sniffed and held her breath until her sobbing subsided, then tugged a handkerchief from her pocket to wipe her eyes. "You just make sure you and Remus are safe. For me."
"Okay, mum." Lydia replied, looking out onto the street. She glanced at her watch, which told her that it was quarter past nine. "He should be here by now," She said, frowning.
As if to prove her wrong, a resounding crack! echoed through the street, and a tall man with flowing white hair appeared, not two meters from where the mother and her daughter were standing. The elderly man turned around to face them, a wide smile breaking out across his lined face.
"Mrs Neeson! Lydia! Nice to see that you are well," His blue eyes twinkled behind his half-moon glasses, and Lydia got the uneasy impression that any cheery aura he exuded was entirely a facade.
"As well as we could be under the circumstances, Headmaster." Mary Neeson replied, her face sincere.
"Indeed," Dumbledore agreed, before turning to Lydia. "Shall we depart, dear?"
"Alright," Lydia answered, picking up her suitcase. She kissed her mother briefly on the cheek. "I'll see you soon, 'kay?"
"Make sure you do, and have hopefully have a better rest of the year."
"Okay, mum. See you!" Dumbledore held out his arm and Lydia, already far too accustomed to the ways of side-along apparation, took it.
Lydia didn't bother to knock as she practically collapsed through the door of her shared dormitory, dropping her suitcase at the end of her bed as soon as she could. She flopped down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Nessa looked up from the book she was reading. "Are you alright?"
"Too... many steps... in this... bloody castle," Lydia told her in between breaths, offering a small smile to her roommate.
"Right. So, uh, how come you're back so early? It's not even been Christmas yet," Nessa asked, looking searchingly at Lydia. Lydia felt a sinking feeling at the suspicion in her eyes, but assured herself that there was no way Nessa could have any idea what was going on (Yet, a voice in the back of her mind remind her nastily) with the few scattered hints and pieces of information available to her, even if she was a gossiper. Lydia would be safe from her, for now.
"Oh, yeah. Well, my mum and dad split up and I just didn't want to be at home with all that... atmosphere, you know?" Lydia hoped this was a sufficient answer, but added to it for good measure. "It would hardly be Christmas after that, anyway."
Nessa shrugged. "True. Hey, if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm right here. My dad died when I was nine, so I kind of know what you're going through. Just... yeah, talk to me."
Slightly taken aback by this rare show of compassion; Lydia nodded dumbly. Eventually mustered the courage to reply. "Thank you, Nessa."
"Don't mention it," She said, turning back to her book.
Lydia watched her roommate warily for a moment before beginning the tedious process of unpacking her things. Once she was done with her clothes, she re-discovered the bottom of her trunk, which was strewn with all manner of abandoned things. She fished out four random chess pieces, a make up brush and an old letter from Remus, and shoved them into the battered beside cabinet she had had the house elves bring up for her. Whilst rummaging though the detritus, her fingers chanced upon a smooth, cool surface, and when the tugged it free she fond that she was holding the necklace Remus had bought for her in Camden, not ten minutes before they had been kidnapped. Without thinking, she slung it around her neck and went to look at it in the bathroom mirror.
Remus was right, she mused, staring intently at her reflection. It does go with my eyes.
"What's that?" Nessa appeared behind her in the mirror, peeking over her shoulder.
"Remus bought it for me." She said simply, keeping the conversation carefully closed. It worked.
Nessa nodded, rolling her eyes slightly with barely masked jealousy. "Oh, right." She returned to her bed and carried on reading.
Lydia lingered in front of the mirror for a moment longer, and then decided she would follow Nessa's example. However, when she looked on her bedside table, she discovered it to be strangely empty. She could have sworn she had a relatively large pile of books accumulating there before the holiday.
"Um, Nessa? Where have all my books gone?"
Nessa looked blank, and then comprehension dawned on her face as though a light bulb had gone on above her head. "Oh yeah! The librarian got the house elves to do a cull on all overdue books, which apparently was all of yours."
"Oh. Great." Lydia deadpanned. "Right, I'm going to the library then. I'll see you later."
"Sure, bye." Nessa replied without looking up.
Lydia got to the doorframe and then stopped, a question that had to be answered on the tip of her tongue. "Nessa, if you don't mind me asking, what happened to your dad?"
Nessa sighed, deliberately avoiding eye contact. "He was killed," She paused, reluctant to complete her sentence, "by a werewolf."
Lydia stepped into the library about ten minutes later, still feeling shaken from Nessa's revelation. She quickly found her regular haunt in the small fiction section of the large room, and started browsing.
"Hey, you."
Lydia spun around, right into Remus' chest, and blushed. "Sorry,"
Remus chuckled quietly, "No worries- Madame LeFeurvre take your books too?"
"Uh-huh," Lydia nodded, grinning. "That's why I'm here!"
"Shocking. I never would have guessed that!" Remus said with good-natured sarcasm. His eyes then settled on the pendant. "Hey, you're wearing it," He said, obviously pleased.
Lydia smiled, looking into his eyes. "How could I not? It's beautiful."
Remus leant in close to her to whisper in her ear. "Not as beautiful as you,"
Lydia blushed and gave him a playful shove. "I bet you say that to every girl!"
"There will never be anyone like you, Lyd. Ever." Remus told her, cupping her face and gently planting a kiss on her lips. Filled with a sudden, insatiable hunger, Lydia tangled her hands in his hair, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Remus moaned softly, toying with her lip between his teeth stroking the soft vulnerable skin of her abdomen.
Abruptly, he pulled back, breathing slightly heavier than before and reaching for his wand.
"What's the matter?" Lydia asked, immediately worried that she had done something wrong.
Remus shook his head, trembling slightly. "It's nothing, just... one sec," He pulled out his wand and pointed it towards the ceiling. "Muffilatio," he whispered, seemingly to no result.
"What was that?" Lydia asked nervously.
"Just something Sirius taught me- no one will notice... little noises... now." Remus blushed, immediately feeling both stupid and impetuous, but Lydia simply smiled.
"That's good," She said, knocking him back into an armchair and kissing him passionately. Remus' hands slid under the thin film of her shirt and skittered across her back audaciously as he let his instincts take hold, for once. Lydia, too, was letting go of her inhibitions, which was becoming easier and easier to do, she found, and she roughly tugged away his woollen jumper, breaking the kiss only to pull it free of his head. The dark green garment dropped to the floor, completely unheeded. Lydia flattened her palms against his naked chest, her heart beating like a drum and her senses on fire. He clutched her burning skin, holding her to him as though he would never let her go, pressing their pelvises together through their ' searching fingertips found the clasp of her bra and opened it as Lydia bit into the warm flesh of his shoulder. Remus' skin broke under the pressure of her teeth, their points sharper and more closely tapered with animalistic passion, and hot, sweet blood seeped into her mouth, like melted chocolate.
With a gasp of pain, Remus disengaged his hands, and forced her away, pushing her so hard that she fell to the floor. Lydia sat there, stunned and breathing heavily, for what felt like an age; she was sickeningly aware of the fetid taste in her mouth and her own shock and shame. Her eyes glowed bright yellow, not unlike Greyback's when he had leant over her and told her that he was going to kill her.
Remus too was breathing hard, clenching his fists on his lap and trying to stop his rampant thoughts from taking control again. His nails cut into the palms of his hands, drawing blood once more and giving his mind more clarity. He grabbed his jumper from the floor and clutched it to his stomach, staring at a spot on the floor and pointedly not at Lydia.
"This isn't right," He said finally, not looking up. "We're going to kill each other."
"No!" Lydia exclaimed, sitting up and putting her hand on his knee. He shrugged it off, his eyes haunted. "This is natural! I mean, we're teenagers- this is what we're supposed to do. And, I mean, yeah, we both got a little caught up in the moment but after all we've been through... we need this. We need... each other."
Remus looked up at her, his expression grave. "Lydia, a moment ago I wanted to do two things: I wanted to fuck you, and then I wanted to kill you, and I know you wanted the same. How can you call that natural?"
Lydia took a sharp intake of breath, and blinked away a tear, knotting her fists in the material of her trousers. "This is what we are, Rem. This is what you made me. This is as natural as we are ever going to get."
Remus held her gaze for a moment, biting his lip, before looking down. "Shit. I'm sorry, Lydia, this is all my fault."
"We've been over this," Lydia began, in an almost bored tone.
"Yes, Lydia, we have!" Remus spat, his hands shaking and his lips drawn back from his teeth in a wolfish snarl. "And you still don't get it! I'm no good for you, and do you know something? You're not good for me!"
With that sentiment, Remus stormed away, pulling on his shirt angrily as he left and muttering the counter-spell to the charm on the room.
Lydia remained on the floor, frozen with shock. With a trembling hand, she wiped Remus' still-wet blood off of her lips and the tears that were running freely down her face. Inside, she felt as though she were breaking, and there wasn't a thing any one could do. No one, save for Remus, but he didn't want her anymore. Remus, the first boy she had ever loved; Remus, the werewolf who had given her this curse; Remus, the only person who would ever make her whole again.
But he was gone, and Lydia did not believe that he would ever be coming back.
