Part Nine: Shifting
Meliodas carried firewood into the kitchen when he heard a strange noise. He paused, listening carefully, his heart practically in his throat. It was silent, and after several moments when he could only hear the thudding of his heart, he would have sworn he imagined it… until it came again. Like a little knock, or a scratching.
"Elizabeth?" he whispered, knowing it was impossible. The princess had been missing for more than three months, not a single sign or sighting of her in Britannia. Meliodas carefully and silently placed the wood on the large table in the center of the room and listened again. There was a soft thud, and in an instant he moved, across the room and flinging open the pantry in a flash.
"What-?" he cried, drawing up short. A strangled sort of noise came from the closet, and when he looked down he saw a sniffling Hawk sitting in the middle of sacks of vegetables, munching absentmindedly around muffled sobs.
Puffing out an exasperated sigh, Meliodas said, "What in the world are you doing?"
"I'm so sad!" the boar whined, swallowing down a mouthful of carrots. "I miss Elizabeth!"
His heart gave a little twist, but Meliodas sighed, "Come on out of there. If Ban finds out you ate all the food he'll cook you for dinner."
With a few more sniffles Hawk trotted out, his head hanging low. "When are we gonna find her?" he asked. "I wish Elizabeth was here!"
"I do too, buddy," Meliodas answered around the lump in his throat. "But we are going to find her, I promise."
"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep," said Hawk. "You're never gonna find Elizabeth."
Meliodas frowned. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "Don't be silly. Of course we'll find her!"
"She's goooooone!" wailed the pig, throwing himself down and covering his eyes. "I just want to see Elizabeth!"
With another heaving breath, Meliodas rolled his eyes. "This is not going to help. Pull yourself together," he lightly admonished. "Do you honestly think I would ever stop looking for her? Ever?"
Hawk peeked up at him, blinking back the large round tears in his eyes. "I suppose not," he murmured.
"Exactly! Now come on, up you go." He cheered Hawk on as the pig reluctantly stood, giving him an encouraging pat on his back. "That's a good boy. Now no more talk of not finding Elizabeth, okay?"
"Yeah," said Hawk sadly, but giving him a small smile anyway. Meliodas grinned back, and the pig trotted out of the kitchen and back to the main room.
As soon as the door swung shut, Meliodas went back to pick up the firewood he had put down, but paused. Suddenly the emptiness of not having Elizabeth struck him hard. She was the comforting one, the one Hawk would run to if he was upset or angry. He took a shaky breath and he felt his face go very hot, his throat suddenly a bit too tight. "Come back, Elizabeth," he whispered into the empty room.
Meliodas tossed for a while in bed, but he was still unnerved without Elizabeth there, especially since he didn't know where exactly she was. The dream had set him on edge, and after the strange revelations from Gowther his mind would not stop. He flopped around the bed, wrapping himself in the covers, kicking them off, squeezing Elizabeth's pillow close, then tossing everything on the floor. Finally he laid spread out completely in the middle of the bed, blowing his bangs out of his face as he listened to the crickets outside.
Sleep was definitely not working. Meliodas sat up, leaning forward to press his hands on the mattress, stretching his back out. He drummed his fingers for a moment before looking at the window. It was still night out, and suddenly he felt itchy, the air too stuffy. Sliding out of bed, he crossed to the window, reaching out to open it.
Meliodas hesitated. This was the first time he was opening it since Elizabeth had returned, and he had almost done it without even a thought. Swallowing nervously, he admonished himself for being foolish and slid his fingers along the lock. But when he went to lift the latch, he saw that it was already undone.
A sickening feeling dropped into his stomach. Did he lock the window when he came upstairs? He was sure he did, he had to have done it… but was he sure? And Ban had come up to check on him, it's possible his friend had opened the window. And Elizabeth too… she was there… wasn't she?
Was she?
He pulled his shaking hand away from the window, taking a step backwards. The air that was once stuffy suddenly became suffocating, and Meliodas struggled to breathe, drawing in unsteady breaths: one, two, three. Then he turned and hastily ran out of the room, hurrying down the steps two at a time.
Meliodas stumbled in surprise to see Elizabeth sitting at a table alone, one hand propping her chin up on the wood surface while the other slowly stirred a cup of tea. She looked up as his feet pounded on the bottom step, her eyes widening in surprise to see him. "Sir Meliodas!" she exclaimed, her spoon tinkling as she dropped it into the cup. "What are you doing here?"
"I—" He stopped, not knowing what to say. His eyes traveled over her, still dressed in her dress from the castle. "I couldn't sleep," he finally answered.
Elizabeth gave him a sad smile. "Come sit," she said, waving him over. Obediently he walked towards the table, sliding into the seat next to her. "Here," she said, pushing the cup over towards him. "This will help you relax. I'll be right back."
Without a word he watched her walk into the kitchen, the door swaying a bit as she disappeared inside. Meliodas looked back down at the steaming tea, breathing in the warm heat rising from it. He sighed, picking up the cup and pressing the hot ceramic against his lips.
Behind him, the kitchen door opened, and Elizabeth returned, carrying another cup. She took her seat with a smile, and he tried to smile back at her; but the turmoil of everything that happened and the unease of finding the window unlocked made his nerves feel as though they were positively frayed. Hist stomach twisted, so Meliodas put down the cup without taking a sip. She looked at him with deep concern, tilting her head to the side, and frowned. "What's wrong?" she asked quietly.
"I found—" Again he was unable to finish his thought, wanting just in that moment to stare at her, to memorize every inch of her again. Elizabeth's eyes traced over his face in turn, and she raised a hand to gently brush her fingers down the side of his arm. Meliodas noticed then that he was still not wearing a shirt, and when he looked down he watched as her fingertips traced the dragon tattoo on his bicep. He shivered then, wondering if she had ever touched him like that, if anyone had ever touched the symbol since it had been branded on his skin. He could not remember such a thing, and he was awestruck for a moment.
"I don't blame you, you know," she whispered. He looked at her face then, but she was looking at his arm, her face emotionless as she watched her fingers trace the circle over and over. "I don't care what Gowther saw in my mind. I know you could not have done this. It's not possible."
"Elizabeth…" he breathed. His voice trailed off, and Meliodas was reminded of his dream, when Elizabeth had stroked his forehead, when he had such difficulty speaking. This moment was eerily similar, so he shook himself, forcing himself to say something. "What are you doing here?" he asked finally.
Her hand left his skin, and Meliodas was sorry to be without her touch. Elizabeth looked down at her lap, folding her hands as she blushed slightly. "I didn't want to go back," she admitted. "You seemed so upset and I didn't want to leave. Then Sir Ban said you were sleeping, and since I wasn't tired anyway I—I didn't want to disturb you—" Her voice broke and she looked up at him, tears in the corners of her eyes. "I'm so sorry!" she whispered fiercely. "I should have never left. I don't know why I did, I… I was angry and frightened and… I just wish I knew why this was happening…"
Elizabeth buried her face in her hands, and at once Meliodas was up, his own arms around her and pulling her tightly against him. He cradled her closely, tucking her against his neck and chest, pressing his cheek on the top of her head. "Please don't cry," he said. "I understand, and it's okay. I should have listened to you anyway. I've been going about this all wrong."
"You just want to protect me," she sniffled. "And I keep getting in the way."
"Don't be silly," he said. "You're never in the way."
"Is that why you stopped looking for me?"
Meliodas froze, the hand that was rubbing her back stopping. He swallowed thickly before answering, "No, that's not why."
Elizabeth sat up, pulling away from him. "I don't blame you," she said quietly. "I was gone a very long time, after all."
Huffing in exasperation he said, "Do you honestly think I'd ever really stop looking for you? Ever?"
Meliodas frowned, a strange feeling pricking the back of his neck. His eyes quickly scanned the dimly lit room, hesitating just slightly on the front door, before returning to the princess. "I suppose not," she said sadly.
"I was weak," he answered. "I missed you so much, it hurt. It was painful, Elizabeth."
"You are not weak," she insisted, her hand gripping his arm. "You are the strongest person I know."
"No, I'm not, I—" Why were words so difficult around her? This was Elizabeth. Meliodas pressed his lips together, closing his eyes briefly as he fought to say something, anything, to explain his behavior. "Losing you was—it was too much. I looked everywhere, I swear I did. I looked—I looked everywhere. You have to believe me." Meliodas leaned forward, his face and voice pleading. "I wanted to keep looking. I did, but I couldn't, there was—there was nowhere left." His brows drew down sharply, his lungs feeling tight. "I didn't know what to do. There was no one to help, no one to ask—and you were gone."
His head was pounding now, the tension in his brow causing his temples to throb. Elizabeth looked back at him with the same guarded expression, but her eyes were strange, as if it was sympathy mixed with something he could not recognize. "But why did you stop?" she asked quietly.
Meliodas drew back a bit, his eyebrow twitching for a moment. "What do you mean? I just told you—"
"I mean," she whispered, "what finally convinced you? What made you decide to stop looking for me, for good?"
His eyes fell as his shoulders sagged. "I don't know," he murmured. "I don't—it's all kind of hazy." He struggled to think back, but spending weeks in an inebriated stupor made it hard to figure out what was real and what was a dream. "I just knew that it was pointless. I knew if I kept going, I would go mad if I didn't find you."
"You needed to find a way to live," finished Elizabeth.
He peeked up at her. "Yes."
Elizabeth turned her face away, her eyes glancing downwards. "I understand," she said quietly, but something about the tone of her voice and the stiffness in her back told him that perhaps she did not, not completely. "If you ever left me, if you were ever just—just gone, I don't know if I could stop," she answered. "Even if you died, even then, I wouldn't stop looking for you. I wouldn't stop hoping that somehow, you would come back to me."
Meliodas took a shuddering breath, feeling a twisting sob in his chest. "I'm sorry," he bit out harshly. "I shouldn't have stopped. I should have kept looking, I—I was wrong." He shook his head, squeezing his eyes closed. "I'm so sorry, Elizabeth."
He looked up at her, new determination in his eyes. "I will find who did this. I will find who took you and I will see them destroyed. I promise you."
Elizabeth finally looked at him then, her eyes soft. "You shouldn't make promises you can't keep," she whispered.
Meliodas grit his teeth, his face flushing with a rush of heat. He stood, not knowing what to do, so he scooped up the teacups in his hands and stormed into the kitchen. With an angry grunt he tossed them into the sink, not even wincing as the noise of them shattering echoed loudly in the empty and silent room. He pressed his hands against the edge of the sink, breathing heavily with his head bowed.
Why had he stopped? What was it that made him stop looking? The truth is, he didn't know. He had no idea what had changed between hearing the Holy Knights were going to cease their searching and deciding to lose himself to drink. His fingers dug into the wood of the table, forming dents where it cracked under the pressure. Why couldn't he remember? What was happening to him?
Meliodas could recall Margaret visiting him, offering him money to keep searching. He remembered going around Liones again, then expanding his search through Britannia, heading towards Camelot and even to where Edinburgh once stood. He roamed from coast to coast, looking, searching, trying to find anything in those last desperate weeks. Citizens were re-interviewed, forests and lakes searched again.
Yet he could recall a new sense of pressure, as if time was running out. It felt as though a clock was running backwards, and if he did not find Elizabeth by the time the countdown ended, then she would be lost forever. Where did that come from? Had Merlin told him something? He frowned, trying to remember. Why was it all so hazy? It was as if everything before giving up was crystal clear, but once he had made that decision… the days had shifted, the memories mixed together, none of his senses could be trusted.
There was a noise, and he looked up. The window over the sink was closed, and he could see the stars hanging brightly in the night sky. The noise came again, and all at once Meliodas knew what it was. He stalked to the pantry and threw it open; there, sitting on the floor in the dark, was Hawk.
"What are you doing?" he exclaimed. "Why are you in here?" He remembered that it had been days since he had seen his friend, and his hands went to his hips in frustration and relief. "Where have you been? I've been looking for you!"
"I'm just so lonely!" Hawk cried, a tear falling from his eye. "I feel better when I'm in here."
"Don't be silly," Meliodas said. "Come on, come out here now."
Slowly Hawk climbed to his feet, reluctantly trotting out into the kitchen. "Are you hungry?" Meliodas asked.
The boar sniffled and nodded. "I'll get you something," Meliodas said, and laughed when Hawk squealed, "No thank you!"
He pulled out a loaf of bread and handed it to Hawk. "Ban made these. It should be safe enough."
Hawk took the loaf thankfully and got to work with chewing. Meliodas looked at him tiredly, but fondly, before crouching down in front of the pig. "Why did you say you were lonely?" he asked.
"Because I miss Elizabeth," answered Hawk.
Meliodas frowned. "What are you talking about? She's in the other room."
"She's back? Elizabeth is back?!" Hawk squealed. He bolted through the kitchen door, and Meliodas stood slowly, the uneasy feeling on the back of his neck returning. He watched the door as it swung back and forth, back and forth, until moments later, Hawk trotted back in, snorting, "You are horrible! She's not out there! Are you trying to trick me?"
"Of course she's out there," Meliodas snapped, fear gripping him intensely as he pushed past the boar and flew back into the main room.
A/N: I am so happy this story is continuing to have all of you still reading it. I am happy? sad? to let you know there are only two chapters now remaining. So please hold tight, answers will be coming soon! Your kind words and your passion for this fic has been amazing and overwhelming. Thank you so much for sticking with this!
BettyBest2: Without giving anything away, you are on to something. What that something is, you'll soon discover.
Llama: I really made it a point to give Meliodas some allies in this story, even when everyone is a suspect. Ban has certainly proven in the manga to be completely on his side, no matter what.
Night's Bullet: I know the episode you are referring to! I wish I could confirm or deny, but doing either would give it all away honestly. But this fic was influenced by multiple sources.
Nhus321: I have an inkling to how sad you were, because I cried as I wrote it, as did Vetur02 as she watched me write it. I don't think she spoke to me for a few days.
EJR Horselady: I'm appreciative that you continued reading despite the hair tearing! I understand wanting to do this story in chunks, so when you finally read this, please accept my thanks.
TheGreatLlamaFish: I heard it loud and clear. (MANGA SPOILER ALERT: With the newest chapter, it certainly seemed to imply that there have been multiple Elizabeths... and I wondered if he would ever consciously decide to disengage.) Now you are the third person to compare this chapter to that of a dream or when Meliodas was dead. I really love it.
Vhosek: I'm so glad you have a theory! I can't wait to hear if you were right or not!
mon coeur: We've spoken already this week but I must thank you once more for your kindness. I hope this chapter satisfied your need for the grapes. Or were the grapes pulled away again?
SheWolf412: Clarity is coming, I promise, and sooner than you'll realize.
LoveIsNotAChoice: Thank you so much for giving this fic a chance! I hope that your theory is proven correct. :D
