Title: Boring System
Author: comeandgetmebabe
Disclaimer: At this moment I own a bottle of Diet Pepsi. That's basically it.
-NOTE- After getting the most incoherent yet touching review ever from Queen of Duct Tape, I have decided to say "fuck it" to my vacation from writing that I chose to take after midterms (apart from that chapter of Please Kiss Me that was way overdue) and am now writing the ninth chapter of everyone's favorite stupid fic.
So I hope you enjoy. Jesus titty fucking Christ, the things I do for you people…
JUST KIDDING :D I love you guys! Thanks for all the reviews.
IMPORTANT: I don't know if I've mentioned this yet, but in my story Axel doesn't have those weird tear drop things and Saïx doesn't have his crazy 'X' scar. Just putting it out there. I mean, I assumed that since I never mentioned them you'd realize they weren't them, but just in case…
CONSUME!
/o/O/o/
Axel had had four First Kisses in his life.
If you go by the literal definition of "first kiss," of course, Axel's interpretation made no sense, but he considered a first kiss to signify a different stage of his life.
His first First Kiss had happened when he was seven and went on a trip to the beach with his family. While his mother dug into the ice chest to get his sleeping father a beer, Axel had slowly shifted away, into the crashing waves, until only his head was bobbing up and down and his parents were only specks in the distance. While treading in the salty water, Axel came to a realization: he did not like water. He hated water. He hated the salt clinging to his eyelashes and his red hair plastered to his face and having to spit the disgusting stuff out of his mouth. He tried desperately to swim out of the current, but he was already too far out and too weak a swimmer. He felt himself sinking into the water…lower and lower…the sting from the salt leaving his eyes as everything grew dark…
And then all of a sudden, an angel came—a red haired angel. And she swam towards him, reached down, grabbed his flailing arm, and pulled him up to the surface. She pulled him through the water and onto the beach, wiping the water from his eyes and pushing on his chest to help him throw up the water lodged in his throat.
When Axel became coherent enough to talk, he said thank you. She said your welcome. He said his name was Axel, got it memorized? She giggled and said "Nice to meet you, Axel Got-It-Memorized, my name is Ariel."
And Axel got his first girlfriend.
For a whole day.
Ariel and Axel decided they were meant to be because both of them and red hair and both of them were seven and their names both started with 'A' and both of them really didn't like their dad's. Ariel confessed that she was just angry with her father because he didn't want her to go out on her own, but Axel made it clear he just didn't like his daddy. And Ariel said that was okay.
They spent a few hours fishing with string tied around sticks and not catching anything. Then Ariel brought Axel to a shallow pool of water left over from a hurricane years ago and taught Axel how to swim. Then they spent the rest of the day splashing in the waves, building sandcastles and lying on Axel's towel, telling each other their darkest secrets: Ariel wanted to be a mermaid and Axel didn't mind girls as friends, even though boys were supposed to hate them. Ariel smiled and patted his hand, saying she liked him back. Then she sang him a pretty song. Axel told her she could become a singer. Ariel had smiled and said "A singing mermaid!"
When the sun was going down, and brilliant reds and oranges and pinks flew over the horizon line, Axel's mother called to tell him that they were leaving. Ariel looked pained and grabbed Axel's hand. Little seven-year-old Axel and little seven year old Ariel stood together in front of the ways, the last fleeting rays of light shining on them, creating their silhouettes. Ariel said she'd never forget Axel. Axel said he'd see her the next time he came to the beach. And Ariel, who was a little shorter than Axel, stood on her toes and kissed him on the lips, her soft ones pressing against his surprised ones. She hugged him and after a moment's hesitation, he hugged her back, tightly. As he pressed his face into her hair, smelling the salt water and sugar flavored scent that made Ariel special, he wished he didn't have to go back to the city with his mom and dad. He wished he could stay there with Ariel and be safe and happy.
But he had to leave. He waved at her from the rear window of his family's car. He kept waving, even when they turned a corner and she was out of sight. And he didn't stop waving until his father yelled at him to get his ass in the seat.
Axel never saw Ariel again.
But he heard from a friend who knew a friend who was cousins with an uncle who knew her father that the little red haired girl and grown up and become a singer in her own right, singing on cruises and at the beach, on boardwalks and boats. And he heard she met a nice guy named Eric and they were living happily ever after.
And he felt glad for her. She deserved it
/o/
Axel's second First Kiss came from Marluxia.
Marluxia had been a senior in high school when Axel was a freshman and from the first second he saw him, Axel knew he was in love. Or lust. He was fourteen, he couldn't tell the difference. All he knew was this guy was a Greek god and Axel wanted to worship every inch of him.
It had taken a little while for Axel to figure out he didn't like girls, at least not that way. He found them easy enough to get along with—one of his best friend's, Larxene, was a girl. But he wasn't attracted any of them. He didn't want to kiss any of them or touch any of them or fuck any of them—the last girl who he had actively liked in a romantic way had been Ariel, and thinking back on it, that was probably because she'd saved his life and he was grateful. And something to do with his family. Axel, at fourteen, didn't like thinking about his parents at any time. But as time went on, he began noticing men more and more. Their bodies, their laughter, their looks. And Marluxia was at the top of Axel's "List of Guy's I Want to Bang."
But of course, he never would. Axel didn't even like talking to other people, let alone proposition a guy for a date. He was wild and crazy with his group of friends, but around other people, people who were older or who he didn't know or his mom and dad, he was shy and didn't speak unless spoken to. He spent most of his time at home holed up in his room, playing with lighters he stole from the corner store and listening to music on Demyx's extra headphones that he'd gotten for his fourteenth birthday.
But Marluxia (soft brown hair with flowers threaded through it, smoky blue eyes, sexy smile, elegant movements…) had gym class at the same time Axel did, albeit with a different teacher. And although Axel skipped most of his more frivolous classes (math being one of them), he never missed gym. Somehow, he'd managed to snag a gym locker right next to Marluxia's, which meant that when Marluxia was changing from his school clothes to his gym clothes, Axel got to watch.
And be late for every gym class because he always had to run into the showers to beat one off.
Marluxia, of course, completely ignored Axel, talking and laughing with his friends. The only time he ever talked to Axel was when Axel's head got stuck in his turtleneck and he began spinning wildly around, trying to get unstuck. In the darkness of his black shirt, he bumped into something solid, but not like the lockers or the bench next to him. Something made of muscle. Next thing he knew, someone was grabbing him by the waist with one hand and pulling his shirt off his head with the other. Blinking in the sudden light, Axel was shocked to find Marluxia had been the one to help him.
He froze, not daring to move. The senior towered over him, his brown hair swept from his face, a daisy threaded in his locks, and his mouth curled into a smirk. Marluxia didn't have a shirt on and Axel couldn't stop his eyes from traveling down his sculpted chest and abs to where his hipbones began jutting out. From the very edge of the brunet's boxers, Axel could see a bit of curly hair poking out…
It was then Axel noticed Marluxia was still holding onto his waist. And that caused Axel's face to turned just as red as his hair. He quickly looked away from the older boy and grabbed his shirt from his hands, mumbling thanks.
Marluxia had grinned. "Sure. Axel."
Axel's head snapped up, but Marluxia had already grabbed his gym shirt from his locker and was pulling it on as he walked out with his friends, laughing loudly about something. Axel gazed at his retreating back and then sighed. He slammed his head on his locker a few times, then got dressed and scampered to class.
Later on that day he got his second First Kiss.
Gym was Axel's last class of the day and his teacher had kept him after for being late to class. After asking him the same questions all teachers asked, ("Are you okay?" "Is everything alright at home" "Do you need to talk?") his teacher had forced him to run ten laps around the gym and then let a panting, sweaty Axel go back to the locker room.
A glance from the windows in front of the gym told Axel everyone at school had already left (he wasn't the fastest of runners when it came to gym class). Sighing, young Axel entered the locker room, staring at the ground and wiping sweat from his forehead. He stalked over to his locker, wondering if he should take the time out to take a shower at school or just take one at Demyx's house, because God knew he wasn't going back home until at least eight.
"Here."
A towel smacked Axel in the face and he pulled it away, head snapping around, furious. "Who threw that?!" he yelled.
"Me," said a voice from the right. Axel turned and saw Marluxia leaning against the row of lockers across from his. The older boy must have hidden in the other aisle, which explained why Axel hadn't seen him.
"Uh…" sputtered Axel, shocked to be alone with the man he'd been lusting after since he started high school.
"I don't think we were properly introduced," said Marluxia, grinning like a cat. "My name's Marluxia."
"I know," said Axel after a moment's hesitation. "And you already know my name…how?"
"It's scrawled all over your backpack," said Marluxia lightly. He walked over and sat on the bench in front of Axel's locker. He cocked his head, still smiling. "Aren't you going to get your clothes?"
Axel shakily walked to his locker. He had to press himself against it—Marluxia was sitting so he faced the locker, leaving very little room between his long legs and the hunk of metal. Axel, hand trembling, spun the lock and removed his clothes. He started to walk to the showers, so he could get dressed in one the curtained stalls, but Marluxia reached out a hand and gripped the redhead's wrist.
"Where're you going?"
"Sh-showers."
"Why?"
"Because…" fourteen year old Axel gulped. "Because I don't want to…get undressed in front of you."
Axel let out a yelp as he was pulled backwards. He stumbled, flailing his hand out and somehow propping himself up on the bench while Marluxia held his other arm in the air. "Yes you do," growled Marluxia, eyes narrowed but smile still in place. "You think I don't see you, freshie? You think I don't see you staring at me all the fucking time? Every time I come in here, you're always there, fucking drooling over me and expecting me not to notice?" Marluxia pulled on Axel's arm again, twisting it and punting the younger boy foreword, so he landed in Marluxia's lap, straddling the brunet and stunned.
Marluxia kept an iron grip on Axel's wrist and hissed, "You think you can just do that to me? How do you think I feel, kid? I gotta try to get dressed and talk to my friends and shit and pretend I don't notice you." He pulled the shocked Axel closer. "You think I stayed after here just to throw you a goddamn towel? I fucking hate you, man. I can't stop thinking about those stupid green eyes of yours just…staring at me." Marluxia's other hand came up and gripped Axel's chin. "Christ, don't you know anything about being gay?"
Axel stared in shock for a moment and then found his voice. "You're gay?" he asked, his voice high and cracking.
Marluxia rolled his eyes. "Look at me, man. I wear fucking flowers in my hair."
"I thought you were a hippie."
"You know any hippies as built as me?"
"I don't know anyone…" murmured poor, young, confused Axel, lowering his eyes so he wouldn't have to look into Marluxia's.
Marluxia let go of Axel's wrist and threaded his hand through the boys' stunning red hair. "You ever kiss anyone before?"
"Once…when I was a kid…"
Marluxia grinned wolfishly. "Once? We gotta change that then." He loosened his grip on Axel's chin, but moved the boys' face so they were looking at each other. Axel's heart began to pound. Marluxia leaned in…and…
/o/
Axel's third First Kiss was with Saïx. It was in the elevator while they were going up to his apartment the first night they kissed.
Axel didn't really kiss anyone, not back then. He hadn't kissed anyone with feeling since Marluxia. He did it during sex because that's what you were supposed to do during sex. But outside of sex, neither before nor after did he ever kiss anyone.
Not the way he did with Saïx.
He had just finished licking the shell of Saïx's ear, running his hand underneath the blue haired man's shirt. Saïx shivered and gasped as Axel scraped the nail of his thumb over a sensitive, hardened nipple. The redhead grinned. This was gonna be so much fun. And sooo easy…
But then Saïx swung around and pressed Axel against the elevator wall, pinning him there. His eyes bore into Axel's and for a moment Axel felt lightheaded. Then he remembered, he was in control. Axel was about to push Saïx off of him when the older man leaned in and kissed him on the lips.
Hard.
The kiss was hungry and passionate and demanding, possessive and dominating, and made Axel want more. And as the elevator doors opened, Saïx reached down, cupped his hands under Axel's ass and lifted him up. The redhead wrapped his legs around Saïx and was carried (with minor difficulty when they needed to actually open the apartment door) into Saïx's home.
It had been at least a year, probably more, since Axel had wanted, needed, a bed partner to kiss him. But with Saïx, Axel found himself yearning for his touch, his taste, his everything. Axel had shivered and shook and gasped with delight when Saïx kissed him. And he knew, he knew this guy was different.
And he had been right.
For a while.
/o/
Axel's fourth and final First Kiss was with Roxas.
He was, literally, in shock when the young blond kissed him. He was rendered immediately sober, at least for that moment. Axel had been kissed with lust, love, innocence, happiness, anger, brutality, everything, but he had never been kissed the way Roxas kissed him: With need, with fear, with questioning lips that moved against his, begging him to open his mouth.
He had never kissed anyone who was shorter than him either, not since he was seven. And feeling Roxas lean against him as he tried to get up to the redheads height, Roxas's arms draped around his neck instead of his waist, Axel couldn't help but place his own hands on Roxas's hips. This was, of course, to push the boy away, politely tell him he didn't like him like that and leave it be, but he didn't. Instead, Axel gripped Roxas's hips and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and opening his mouth so their tongues could explore each other's mouths. Somewhere in the back of his mind, alarm bells were ringing: What're you doing, Axel, you have a boyfriend, anyone can see you, this kid's underage! but he didn't care.
It had been so long since someone had kissed Axel without lust. Without wanting to throw him on a bed and fuck him or something like that. Axel couldn't remember the last time Saïx had kissed him with innocence, if ever. He couldn't recall Marluxia ever moaning softly from just a kiss (Marluxia had preferred using the mouth for things other than kissing). And he hadn't known Ariel long enough…
And deep down, in the darkest part of his heart that he dared not look into, Axel knew he felt something for Roxas, which definitely made him want to deepen the kiss. He'd known the boy for a month, perhaps longer, but he felt so close with him, so at ease with him…it was strange. Axel groaned as Roxas pressed harder against him, such a sinfully innocent gesture. The redhead sighed into Roxas's mouth. Roxas was so…Axel didn't know, but he knew he liked him. He had spent the whole night marveling at how gorgeous Roxas was, tried to drink away his fears about being out with the boy, but he knew it was for naught. Axel didn't know how he felt about Roxas, but he knew one side of him wanted to sweep the kid off his feet. And the other, more rational side was begging him to stop this before it was too late.
Roxas stopped first.
He pulled away shakily and refused to look at Axel, his face red, lips pouty and shining with saliva. "I…" began Roxas.
Axel suddenly remembered who, exactly, Roxas was. "Roxas…"
The blond looked up at Axel, his eyes so afraid. "Axel…I really…"
"I know, Roxas," said Axel, cutting him off. He couldn't look into those eyes, so unguarded. "I…I gotta go…to my apartment…I'll…" he turned and began walking to Twilight's View. Roxas stood in the middle of the sidewalk and was overtaken by panic.
"Axel!" the blond called out. "I'm sorr—"
"I'll see you on Sunday, okay?"
Roxas stopped. "What?"
"I said we'd see a movie, right? I'll meet you at the theater on Disney and Timeless River Road. Seven in the evening." Axel stood in the doorway of Twilight's View and looked at Roxas, so alone on the sidewalk. "I just…I gotta…I gotta think about some stuff, okay man." He summoned up a grin and gave Roxas a weak wink. "See ya Sunday, man!"
Roxas stood on the sidewalk, his shirttails billowing in the wind from the traffic. "Oh…okay," he said. He smiled weakly at Axel and put his hands in pockets. Axel watched as Roxas walked down the road to get to his own building and he couldn't help but notice how occasionally Roxas would smack himself on the head.
Axel sighed. He wanted so badly to go after Roxas and tell him not to be sorry, to never be sorry for how he felt. But he couldn't. He had to…he had to think.
Axel stalked into the elevator, alone. He tried his hardest to think of only flames consuming everything as he ascended to his empty apartment. An image of the whole city on fire occupied him as he opened his apartment door and went to his and Saïx's room. He stood in the doorway of the room once again, imagining the bed on fire, the room filled with smoke.
Axel didn't sleep in the bed he shared with Saïx that night. He was too ashamed.
Or he told himself he was too ashamed.
He really didn't because he knew, he knew before he changed and got into the bed in the guest room that was actually his room, that he was going to dream about soft lips and big blue eyes and silky blond hair and he would hear, throughout these dreams over and over again, Roxas whispering the answer to his question. The question about who he wanted, who Roxas wanted to spend his life with.
You.
You.
You.
/o/
Saïx stumbled into his hotel room at Radiant Gardens Hotel and flopped on the bed. He groaned. The meetings were proving to be difficult. Slowly but surely, Maleficent was seeing the benefits of merging with the Organization. Slowly, however, was the keyword. Maleficent was a shrewd businesswoman and Saïx tried not to think about how long he was going to have to spend convincing her to merge her company with his. It was going to be impossible. Or at the very least, very irritating and time consuming.
Saïx was just about to doze off without taking off his business suit when the telephone rang. He swore and ripped the phone from the receiver. "Yes?" he hissed, malice coating the word.
"Saïx?"
Saïx's eyes widened. "Super—Xemnas?"
"Saïx, I need you to come to my suite. We need to discuss the plan for tomorrow."
Saïx let out a string of curses in his head but replied, "Of course sir. Where's your room?"
"1391. Come quickly, Saïx, I'd like to get some sleep tonight." Xemnas hung up.
Saïx heaved himself from the bed, grabbed his key and left the room, jogging down the hall to the elevators. He pushed the button, waited impatiently for the doors to slide open, and then went up to the thirteenth floor. With a quick glance at a sign plastered on the wall, Saïx went to the left and knocked on room number 1319, the King Suite. He held back his look of disappointment as Xemnas opened the door. Why didn't he get a suite?
Saïx couldn't help but notice that Xemnas was in a bathrobe and his long silver hair was still wet. "Would you like me to come back later, sir? You seem a little—"
Xemnas waved his query away. "We have to discuss this, my state of undress shouldn't affect you in the slightest. Come, Saïx." Xemnas led a slightly bewildered Saïx into his suite. Saïx tried to ignore the exaggerated way the Superior moved his hips as he walked. They went into the main room of Xemnas's suite, which connected to a huge bedroom and a lavish bathroom. In one corner of the main room there was a huge television and a very comfortable looking couch, in the middle was a fireplace that was crackling merrily and, on the other side, a small kitchen with a dining table. On the table Xemnas had set up his office. It was covered with papers, various wires, a laptop, and two telephones that looked very used to constantly ringing.
Xemnas and Saïx sat at the table and for the next few hours they went over their plan for tomorrow. Both knew that Maleficent would be difficult to deal with, to say the least, and they wanted a good idea of what to do and say to convince her to join them. Somewhere around two in the morning, Saïx had to say something. He felt as though his eyelids were waging a war against him, begging to be closed. As much as Saïx wanted to please the Superior, he needed sleep.
"Xemnas…I'm sorry sir, but I need—"
"Some tea, Saïx? Coffee, perhaps? We only need to go over a few more pages of notes, you may leave afterwards."
Only a man with as much discipline as Saïx could have stopped himself from sighing heavily. Xemnas stood and went to the kitchen nook to pour some tea—he'd apparently had the boiling water ready and waiting for the past four hours. Saïx tried hard not to notice how bizarre that was, but he didn't question the Superior; he needed to keep his job.
Xemnas poured a cup of tea and stood at the kitchen counter, watching the tea bag seep. From the corner of his eye, he watched Saïx, his number two man. Saïx was an excellent worker, dedicated, determined, and willing to do anything to get the job done. Xemnas smiled to himself. He was also utterly gorgeous. The Superior had spent many a lonely night dreaming about the blue haired man, wanting to run his hands over his deliciously hard body. He'd gotten merely a glimpse of Saïx's abs when, at a company picnic a few years ago, that red haired brat Saïx insisted upon living with had tugged Saïx's shirt up, much to the embarrassment of the blue haired man.
Xemnas still had dreams about that sight. Long, hot, sweaty dreams.
He finished stirring in the tea and brought the mug back to Saïx, who was valiantly looking over a new page of notes. Xemnas stood behind Saïx's chair and reached over the blue haired man's shoulder to place the tea on the table. As he bent over, his face was right next to Saïx's, his chin resting on his subordinate's shoulder.
Saïx froze. It was as though he wasn't breathing.
Xemnas didn't move from his spot, his arm still reached over. He placed his other hand on Saïx's other shoulder, moving it down to feel the blue haired man's pectoral muscles. Xemnas grinned as he heard Saïx's breath hitch. "Saïx…" he murmured silkily in the other man's ear.
Saïx had absolutely no idea what to do. "X-Xemnas…I don't—"
"Don't speak," whispered Xemnas. He wrapped his arms around a now shocked Saïx, running his hands up and down Saïx's chest. "You feel wonderful…" Xemnas purred.
Saïx nearly fell out of the chair. He wrenched himself from his boss's arms and scrambled to stand a good three yards away from him. "S-Sir…I…." For the first time in a long time, Saïx struggled for words. "I'm flattered sir, but…"
"But what?" asked Xemnas, completely unperturbed. He knew this was how Saïx was going to react. Saïx had a…roommate to think of. But, thought Xemnas evilly, he also had his job to think of. "What is it, Saïx, speak up." The silver haired man began playing with the tie around his bathrobe. "I can't hear you."
"Sir!" cried Saïx, turning his head away. "I…it's not professional to…do…"
"To do what, Saïx?" asked Xemnas, walking slowly towards his subordinate.
"I have a boyfriend!" blurted Saïx, experiencing a feeling Axel had told him about once but he had never felt: panic. "You're my boss, I…I can't…"
"Saïx." Xemnas's voice was deadly serious.
Saïx dared to look into his Superior's amber eyes. "Yes…yes sir?"
"As you 'boss', I…suggest you do what I say. For the sake of your job. After all," he added smugly, "your job is what's keeping you and your boyfriend supported, correct?"
"Axel has a job…" Saïx murmured, knowing he was defeated. Xemnas grinned, walking foreword once more. He was now pressed against Saïx, who stood still, like a stone.
"I'm not asking you to do anything…foreword," said Xemnas silkily. "I just want to…see you."
"See me what, sir?" Saïx grinded out from between clenched teeth. He tried not shiver as the Superior rubbed himself against him.
Xemnas leaned in closer, his lips pressed against Saïx's ear. "Without your shirt on. Then you can leave for the night." Saïx could hear the grin in his voice. "I promise."
/o/
Roxas walked home.
He tried not to think, focusing only on putting on foot in front of the other. Occasionally a thought would pop into his head, which he could immediately get rid of by smacking himself. Just one foot in front of the other. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left…
"ARGH!" Roxas screamed, kicking the side of a parked car, whose alarm promptly went off. Roxas let out a yelp and sprinted down the sidewalk, running at full speed the two next blocks left till home.
He stopped at his building and leaned against the side of the complex, panting and clutching his heart. How could he…how could he be so stupid?! Kiss Axel! It'll be a great idea! Don't worry! What kind of dumbass thinking was that?! Roxas banged his head against the brick building, tears of exhaustion and anger and who knows what falling from his eyes.
He ruined it. Axel wouldn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. He was just taking him to that movie Sunday to let him down slow, tell Roxas he couldn't do tutor session anymore because it'd be too weird. Roxas punched the bricks, not caring about the searing pain that rushed through his whole arm. He continued punching until he was sobbing, falling to his knees and crying like the child he was.
And yet…somewhere in the back of his mind, Roxas remembered how Axel had kissed him back. Had held his waist and stuck his tongue in his mouth. And even though Roxas was sure it was all because of the alcohol he tasted on the redhead's breath, Axel had still pushed against him, giving Roxas his First Real Kiss. Roxas sniffled, the tears still streaming down his cheeks and he tried to manage a smile, for his own sake. At least he'd have that. He'd have Axel kissing him back. When he was old and on his deathbed, he could remember that.
Roxas stood and leaned against the building once more, trying to control his sobs and his breathing. Finally, he wiped his face on his shirt sleeve and walked inside, not daring to meet the eye of the bewildered night doorman. He rode the elevator up to his apartment and prayed to whatever god might be watching him that the door was unlocked, because he knew he didn't have a key.
Fortunately for Roxas but unfortunately for the building's security, he had left the door unlocked before he left. He stalked into the apartment, pulling his clothes off as he went and storming into the bathroom. While the shower was warming up, Roxas sat on the toilet and tried to recall every moment of the kiss. The feel, the taste, the texture of Axel's mouth, his lips, the way the hairs on the back of Axel's neck felt tangled up in Roxas's fingers…everything. Roxas climbed into the shower and stood, eyes closed, under the spray. He let his mind clear, doing multiplication tables in his head (which proved to be much harder than he thought it would be). Finally, after getting everything out, he began to weigh the pros and cons of tonight. He'd gotten to kiss Axel; he'd gotten Axel to take him to a movie on Sunday. Maybe things weren't as bad as he thought they were. Maybe he just had to be more like Sora, that was all.
Roxas smashed his fist against the tiled wall. There was no way he could be as positive as Sora. He was fucking boned.
Half an hour later, Roxas left the shower and dried off. He put on his boxers and a pair of pajama pants and climbed into bed, trying desperately not to think about what had happened.
But every time he closed his eyes, he saw Axel's smiling face as he danced; saw the redhead growling in protection of the blond haired boy. He could still feel Axel on his hands, taste him on his lips, smell his scent…Roxas groaned and got out of bed. He went into his mom's room and took one of her sleeping pills. He did that occasionally when dreams started getting to him. But now it was just so he could quickly drift into unconsciousness and not have to worry about seeing a certain redhead in his minds eye. And soon he fell into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning.
Hours later, at about two in the morning, Sora returned from Wakka's party.
"You sure you don't want me to spend the night?" asked Riku in the doorway.
"Nah. I wanna see how Roxas's date went." Sora smiled up at his boyfriend and gave him a long, lazy kiss. "See you tomorrow."
"Bye baby," said Riku with a smile. Sora closed the front door, locked it, and sighed at the mess Roxas had left. The brunet picked up his brother's clothes and shoved them in the laundry basket in the bathroom. He went into his and Roxas' room and watched Roxas toss and turn in bed for a few moments.
"Roxas?" Sora whispered. "Are you awake?"
Roxas gave a little moan in his sleep.
"Roxas?" said Sora, louder. He tiptoed over to his brother and saw that Roxas' eyes were closed.
"Roxas?" Sora said again.
"ARGH!" screamed Roxas, sitting bolt upright in bed. Sweating he stared wildly at a shocked Sora, but soon calmed down. "Dammit, Sora…" muttered Roxas. "Mom's sleeping pills don't fucking work!" yelled the blond.
"You took one of mom's sleeping pills?" asked Sora, sitting on the edge of Roxas's bed.
"Yeah…I just…didn't want to think."
"About your date?" asked Sora. Roxas turned white, then red, then looked away. Sora smiled understandingly. "I take that as a yes."
"…Shut up Sora…" muttered Roxas. He looked glumly into Sora's eyes. "How was Wakka's?"
"It was fun. Everyone was asking where you were." Sora grinned. "Hayner said he wanted to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with you."
Roxas snorted. "He always says shit like that."
"Yeah…" said Sora. He looked closely at his brother. "You wanna tell me who your date was with?"
"No!" snapped Roxas. "I…can we not talk about it?" he said in a softer tone, noticing how startled Sora looked.
"Was it that bad?" asked Sora softly.
"It wasn't…bad…" Roxas struggled for words. "It was…frustrating. That's a good word for it."
"Oh," said Sora. "Well, if you ever wanna blab about it…"
"Yeah, I know."
Sora smiled at his brother and, after mentally deciding to take a shower in the morning, began getting dressed for bed. Roxas was silent, sitting in bed. He was contemplating something and Sora didn't think it was right to ask.
"Hey Sora?" asked Roxas just as Sora was climbing into his bed.
"Yeah?"
"Are you in love with Riku?"
"Yes," said Sora without a moment's hesitation.
"…How do you know?"
Sora thought for a moment. "I don't know…I can be myself in front of him. I mean, I can be myself in front of everyone else, but I can…just…express things with him that I can't with anyone else. And he with me."
"What do you mean, express? Do you mean sex?!" Roxas looked up and gave his brother a grossed out look. "Because if you mean sex I totally don't want to listen anymore."
"No!" laughed Sora, trying to hold back a yawn. "I can…cry in front of Riku. And he can cry in front of me. He can be funny with me and I can be serious with him. I don't feel comfortable acting the way I do in front of Riku with anyone else. Well," added Sora, giving Roxas a sideways glance, "I can act that way with you when you're not being a jerk, but yeah. It's just…little things, I guess. He just…makes me happy. Allows me be who I am. That's all." Sora turned to face Roxas. "Why?"
Roxas had already gotten back under the covers. His backed now faced Sora.
But Sora could see his brother's back trembling.
/o/O/o/
The thing with Ariel (I swear to God if you people don't know who she is I will FUCKING kill you all) is perhaps the cutest thing I've ever written in my life.
And look at Marluxia! Damn, Axel has a history of dating dicks! More about Marluxia in later chapters. He really helped form Axel, if you know what I mean. Heh heh heh.
Ye GODS do I love Xemnas XD He's so conniving!
Mmmyep.
MUSIC DROP!
For those of you who want some fun pop crap: Sweet Escape by Gwen Stephani (the song, not the whole album. May God strike me down if I buy that crap) is surprisingly good, if you don't actually pay attention to the lyrics.
For those of you who want some ROCK: Violent Pornography by System of a Down is REALLY REALLY REALLY REEEEAAALLLYYY good.
And finally, I'm not sure where you can find this one, because I got it on some LJ community, but for the BEST. COVER. EVER: Baby Got Back by Throwdown. This is the best thing I've ever heard in my LIFE!
So, yeah! Tell me what you think! What do y'all think of Axel, eh? I love that guy. And poor little Roxas! So confused. Sigh…I just torture these assholes, don't I? LOLOLOLOLOLOLdeath.
Please review! It'll make the world a brighter place! And, you know, cater to my ego. Unless you flame. Which isn't cool. But hey, that's your journey, man. Yeah…
AND NOW I LEAVE! TRAVELING THROUGH TIME AT THE SPEED OF REGULAR TIME WITH PLASTIC BAGS!
(Anyone who knows where that quote is from is immediately awesome)
