Chapter 9
By the time the carer came back around, like expected, his cereal was soggy and his tea was stone cold.
So he demanded they took them away and made him an edible breakfast.
Well, he never, but Emily did. Making it clear on his behalf that it simply was not good enough, and that the level of service they were receiving was not even bog standard. Just because they were not fit to be seen in public, does not mean their voices should not be heard. They were still real, just because they could not feel does not mean they don't exist, they deserved better, they deserved more!
It really did the trick as the carer could not apologise enough and vowed to make sure he not only improved his own standard of care but the entire home's care to.
But they were only words, Jackson and Emily both knew it was lies. But it was fun to watch him squirm when Emily mentioned complaining to his head of department...
Well, they had to get their kicks somehow these days!
"That's just...so sad" Emily said truthfully, having heard how Jackson came to wind up in a place like this.
"Well, what's done is done.
How did you end up in a place like this, your too young to end up in a retirement home...just yet" Jackson joked cheekily, trying desperately to avoid Emily's opinion of him cutting everyone he loves out of his life, he really didn't want to hear that right now.
She knew this, she wasn't stupid! But she decided to answer the question anyway.
"Well, I was a minor celebrity in my little village just outside of Yorkshire. People would come from, erm...yards around to watch me perform in our local fields" Emily giggled
"I was a jockey, competing in mini competitions with my horse Sasha.
Riding her gave me the best buzz I have ever felt, it was sort of like, I was flying, leaving my body behind.
Then 6 years ago, I was riding Sasha in the championship final when an ambulance whizzed passed on the nearby road, siren going full pelt. She just, I don't know really, she just freaked out, something she never usually does and I went flying in the air, then came crashing down on my neck.
I spent about 3 months in hospital, then spent the next five and a half years at home, but things changed, it didn't work out so I came here.
Gutted I flipped off her that day to be honest, as I would have won that bloody final an all, I was winning by a clear mile!" Emily joked, confusing Jackson, he knew he often joked about his predicament, but it never reached his eyes. But he could see Emily was over it, well not over it but had come to accept it.
He had never admired anyone as much as he does Emily right now, she really is living proof that you can smile even though you are slowly fading away inside.
He hoped one day he could to, because the worst has happened to him...he just prayed that time could help him breathe again and cope with the pieces that are left.
But Emily's smile soon faded, replaced by something he could relate to, a scowl, a solemn expression he himself does so perfectly, so effortlessly these days, before opening up and confessing to what really hurt her the most.
"I'm here because, I don't have anybody to look after me anymore.
My husband of 18 years left me a few months ago...in a letter.
And it didn't even tell me why, he just said that he loves me with all his heart and that he always will, no explanation, no reason. After 23 years of being together you'd think he would be honest with me and tell me the truth!
To be honest, I have absolutely no clue as to why he did it, he could have met some else, got tired of looking after me or couldn't take anymore of watching how helpless I am"
The tears slowly trickled down her face, as she relived in her head, the memory of seeing the note on the kitchen table and having to wait until her next door neighbour came round to check on her to read it aloud, so she could hear the words, the words he should have said to her face.
Jackson could offer her no comfort, no strong arm to wrap around her shoulder and his mouth is unable to communicate any soothing words to calm her down. It seems he really is useless these days.
But he watched in curiosity, as a watery smile broke across her face, as she turned her head to him...
"But you know what? Although him leaving is like, like my oxygen has been taken away, I wouldn't trade are time together for the world.
He made my life bearable, he gave me so much hope, so much strength it's unreal.
And ano, ano although he has gone now...I know he loved me, he really loved me. What we had was real.
If I was honest with myself, I felt him slipping away from me about 3 months before he left. But I just chose to ignore it, I chose to tell myself he was fine...but he wasn't.
He was happy with me though, I know him, if he wasn't happy from the off he wouldn't have stuck around for nearly 6 whole years after the accident. I made him happy, I know I did. We had are up's and downs and every high and low possible!
But I guess the lows eventually drowned the highs away, leaving him nowhere left to turn...
And I know I will never find someone like him, if anyone again. But I can't help but think of him and smile, because he saved me, he saved me at the time when I needed saving the most. He brought me out of this daze I found myself in once he took me home from the hospital. He made me laugh, it took time but he made me smile.
We worked.
I know it must of killed him to leave me, it must have been a massive step...but he took it...and I am so proud of him for doing it. He put himself first for once and I think in a strange way I love him even more for it"
They descended into silence.
Both lost in their own thoughts, Jackson's head was filled with everything Emily had just said, and her words were colliding with Aaron's, his way's and his everyday pouts he doesn't even realise he does, which he says annoys the hell out of him but secretly loves!
Until Emily broke him from his trance...
"You're not reaching for something that's already gone you know?" She stated softly.
"What?" Jackson asked confused.
"Aaron's still here, from what you've said about him he hasn't left. He wants to be with you. I don't know how long he will stay and I can't tell you for sure but...he will probably go.
You will never know when, and you will never know how, you may never even know why but you will let him go, and cherish all the time you spent together.
And thank him, thank him for all the things he has done for you, for prolonging the happy days of your life"
Emily let her words hang in the air, deciding it best to let Jackson have some headspace.
...
"JACKSON, JACKSON" Aaron screamed, he knew the security guards were hot on his heels, so time was not on his side, he needed to find him, he needed to see his face and look into his eyes...and hope, hope he lets him have one more attempt at trying to make him see sense, he belonged with him!
Aaron burst into so many rooms he had lost count, startling the residents in the process. If he had time he would apologise to them, but he didn't.
He was coming to the last door on the left, he really didn't have time to make his way to the other side, security were now in his line of sight. He gripped the handle, pulling it down to enter.
Here goes...
