warning: unbeta'd it's hard to find one D'X and my English sucks

Spain sat in a pizzeria alone with the bill, that Romano refused too help pay and walked away from on account of " the food wasn't worth his money" in his hand. Spain reached into his pocket to get out the required money but instead pulled out another piece of folded paper.

"Aye, my shopping list!, I was looking for that."

Upon opening the paper Spain discovered it was, yes indeed a list but not a grocery list. Instead it was a list of debt yet to be paid.

Sitting with both old debt and current debt in his hands, the Sexy voice in Spain's head began to calculate up the reasons why he was poor, and couldn't afford to buy the bucket that hung from the ceiling and let tomatoes grow from the bottom magically.

"It's like tomatoes from the heavens." Spain said as a dream like sequence took over.

1. to impress Romano by buying him fancy clothes is a waste of money

2. Even if you think they are nice Romano will say "If you were England and clothes were food..."

3. And why the hell is he comparing you to that puta in the first place

4. Giving out free shit is the most stupidest thing you could ever do

5. Stop being so damn nice

6. that's why people think your a pedophile

7. Giving free churros to kids, charge them puta charge!

5. You are on a budget, a tight one now.

8. yes water is important but you need to make an important decision

9. Personally I don't think you need to bathe every day, watering the tomatoes is much more important.

10. If you must provide food for some reason, first ask yourself

11. Why the hell are they eating on my ship? or in your case, in my house?

12. If you can, avoid treating people, to anything

13. our sexy smile should be a enough treat, well I guess with you it's innocent now.

14. Surely your so called allies will invite you over sometimes

15. which really means they're giving you a pass to their fridge, bed, tabs at bars ect

16. or at the least fruit from the fruit bowl

17. Debating on making a pirate ship and fighting England is wrong

18. Convince France to do it

19. once France is defeated, take his land and harvest his wine and woman

20. Scratch all of that, you have no money for an armada right now

21. or hostile take over

22. do not ask the Italy brothers to lend you money for hostile take overs

23. They can actually calculate interest, go figure

24. Prussia is probably stupider than you

25. That's why he has no ship, land, or booty!

26. What happened to all of our booty?

27. Damn booze! the main reason we are broke now...and wars, aye the wars!

We own so many bulls, why?

...bull steaks...sounds yummy right? and we get rid of a few

"But what about the bull run?" slightly coming out of his dream like trance, Spain spoke aloud.

"Bull what?...Sir, it's almost closing time, are you going to pay soon?" Said a waiter.

Oh yeah, I forgot how much money that brings in, scratch that idea.

"Besides, I love my bull I would never hurt him."

"...Im really not interested in your relations with this Bull fellow, I will be back to collect on the bill sir." The waiter walked away as Spain entered back into his trance.

28. Why are there pictures of us in nothing but an apron floating around?

29. I hope you made good money off of those, I can almost see your pito in that thing

30. stop wearing that tight ass matador costume!

31. my ass cheeks cant breath

32. Why do you keep Romano's baby slave...I mean maid clothes under your mattress?

33. He wasn't even your real son, he was a henchman a bad one

34. plus, watching you occasionally sniff them makes me worry about you

35. When the hell did we start dancing?

36. Salsa is food only!

37. Why did you cut our amazingly long and sexy chocolate locks?

38. No it did not make us look like a lady!

39. Our hair was unisex!

40. when's the last time you sharpened my axe

41. I hate watching you use it to cut grass and wheat down

42. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!

43. Plus, You hold it a weird angle

44. Where is our ship?

45. How can you live near an ocean and have no ship?

46. At least get a row boat.

47. How did we get so wimpy?

48. You used to be a Sexy conquistador !

49. Now your a tomato vendor?

50. Epic Fail!

I'm sick of our boring, poor, and un-epic life!

"Sir, are you ready to pay?"

"I'm not that poor!"

Yes we are, and we're wimpy but no more!

"I'm not wimpy either!"

"uhh I can see you're having issues sir, I'll just send you the bill."

"You can take that bill and vete a la chingada!" Alternate Pirate!Spain magically brought out a battle axe from his back pocket and sliced a table in half. Laughing manically the Spaniard began to go on a rampage though the pizzeria killing as many napkins and paper cups as he could afford, the table would rack up a pretty price.

Cowering in a corner the waiter called the police

"Oh! calling for back up? bring it!" Spain slammed his axe into the floor.

Holy Tomato sauce... Romano who had came back to get the name brand jacket he left on the chair looked at the mess the Spaniard made from the entrance. He must be really upset about that bill for him to be in conquistador pirate Spain mode. Romano could stop him if he just payed the bill himself, everything would go back to normal, Spain wouldn't be terrifying, the waiter could go change his pants. Right now he had enough money to bail Spain out and put everything right or go grocery shopping and get that 2 for one pizza deal he planned on doing and his reason for not paying in the first place...

...

...

...

"Fuck that." Then he'd have to pay for the shit Spain assassinated with his axe and right now that wasn't appealing to him. "Sorry boss Spain." Romano turned and began his way to the store

xXxXx Later that night xXxXx

*ring ring*

"Eh...what! it's 3 in the morning!" Romano rolled over in bed.

"Hey Lovi, it's Spain I need you to bring me my salsa dress and a pair of black heels."

"What the hell for!"

"Well it was either pay bail or dance at a bachelor party for my freedom."

"..."

"Also, could you be my dancing partner?"

"Fuck, no."

"Please?"

"how much is bail?"

Spain said an obscene number that cause Romano to curse and shoot up in bed, grab his and Spain's salsa clothes and go to this 'Bachelor party'

"Like hell I'll pay $50 bucks!"

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I said Pru's Christmas list was next but my computer suddenly died, in short I lied...I'm a lair DX...I sorry, I had no back up. but anyways thanks for reading more pointless stuff from CSR ;D whoops how did that five get there so now it's 51 XD