Great Din guys! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry i have not updated in forever! I feel so bad I've left you all hanging for, what is it, four months now? I'M SORRY! I kept telling myself I'd do it but i never got around to it because school and i have sports and high school is super hard right now and I've gotten lazy and... I digress. Anyway, here is chapter nine and i promise to update every week or at least every other week from now on! Thanks guys! :3
After I left Kastlecity, I hitchhiked with a van full of groupies to some band I've never heard of before, something like NSYNC or something weird like that, all the way to Kakariko, which is where Siri said you need to go to locate the Gorons.
After the van ride with the NSYNC'ers which was full of singing much to Siri's delight and my horror, I get out of the car and thank my drivers.
"No prob, brah," says the driver. "'N'y time!" His groupies laugh at his joke but I just sort of, like, walk away...
"Okay," I say to Siri, looking around at the town of Kakariko. "Where we headin'?"
"Oh, oh, I know this one!" Siri blinks intensely. "Pick me, pick me!" I roll my eyes and exhale.
"Okay, Siri, I choose you," I say flatly. She squeals in delight.
"Yay! He chose me! He chose me! YAY!" she begins to blink and giggle until I clear my throat. "Oh, oh, right," she says. "Okay, um, to get to the Goron's you gotta go all the way up Death Metal Mountain."
"Death Metal Mountain?!" I exclaim. "But... that sounds scary!" I look around and whimper in fear.
"Oh, Linkey, don't be scared! We're the best team ever! If we're together, there's nothing to be scared of!" Siri squeals.
"That's exactly what I'm scared of..." I mutter but not loud enough for her to hear. I look at the shops around me and see one called Bargain Store. I look at Siri with excitement. "Oh, let's go shopping before we go! I can buy something cool!"
I rush off to the store and come out twenty minutes later, loaded with cool stuff: awesome heart-shaped sunglasses, several packs of gum, a plastic sword, a Micheal Jackson CD and a loofah.
"Um, Link, what's all that for?" Siri asks. I look down at her.
"Man, what isn't it for?! The sunglasses because the sun's killing my eyes, the gum for fresh breath, the sword for protection in case we run into that Queen Ghoma thing again, and the CD as an offering to the Gorons!" I beam at her. "I am so brilliant!"
"You forgot the loofah," she comments. I blush.
"Er... Well... I really like... Um..." I shove the loofah into my pocket. "Never mind that. Let's just get going."
Through Kakariko, we head up a path leading to a tall and looming mountain that must be Death Metal Mountain. Hmmm... I wonder why they call it that?
My answer comes almost immediately. Pounding death rock racket explodes from the mountain, making my skull rattle around my head.
"What... is that?!" I scream to Siri over the dissonance. "Where's it coming from?!"
"I think... the mountain...!" she screams back, barley audible. I throw my hands over my ears so I don't go totally deaf.
After about three minutes of pure torture listening to someone singing like they have a sore throat and/or doesn't know how to sing at all, the music ends and I let go of my pointy ears.
"Is it finally over?" Siri asks tentatively. I nod.
"Yeah, I think so. At least, for now," I say. "Who knows if that's going to happen again."
"Let's pray not," she agrees. "I think I blew a circuit listening to that!"
"Blew a circuit? Then how come you don't do that when you sing yourself?" I ask, suppressing a laugh.
"Hey! Not funny!" she says, a frowny face appearing on her screen. "Not funny at all. Let's just get up that mountain and get that Spiritual Stone!"
xxx
Okay, well, the Gorons are pretty much cracked.
You see, they're these huge rock-looking yellow FREAKS with creepy purple eyes and permanent goofball smiles plastered on their faces.
And they're all guys.
Don't ask me HOW that works, because trust me, I'm still trying to figure out myself.
But that's not the worst part. Oh no, that's reserved for this: they love dancing. And I don't just mean Just Dance (all right reserved) crud, but freaking hip-hop, get-on-the-floor-and-spin-around-on-one-hand type stuff.
As soon as I entered Death Metal Mountain, I knew I was in for something else and yeah, this pretty much takes the cake.
Every time I walk next to a Goron, they get down and start dancing, asking if I'll sponsor them in an up-coming dance talent show. I just avoid eye-contact and keep walking.
I've tried asking a few directions to the Spiritual Stone of Fire of if they know about it but I can't speak loud enough to be heard over the constant pounding of hip-hop music blaring over huge sub-woofers placed about. And don't even think about using sign-language to ask what I need; they think I'm dancing and then pull me into a partner dance in which they lift me up and swing me about wildly like I'm a doll or something. Which compared to their size, I am.
I finally collapse against a wall in defeat, looking through the disco lights at the Gorons dancing about. Siri vibrates in my hand and I look at a message on her screen: The guy who supposedly owns the Stone goes by the name Darunia and he's the leader of the Gorons. Try looking around for a room that looks important or something.
I frown and place her back in my pocket. Well, it's worth a shot.
I get back up again and hurry about the inside of the mountain, looking for rooms that could supposedly hold a "leader of the Gorons."
And I think I've found it. At the very bottom of all the paths that wind about the whole cavern, there's this huge door with the symbol of the Gorons plastered in the middle, surrounded by intricate designs. I get the distinct feeling this is the door for the leader of the Gorons.
I push the door open and step inside, the door closing behind me. Instantly, all the noise from inside the cavern breaks off so all I can hear is a dull unce, unce, unce.
I walk about the large room, admiring the weird pictures and sculptures on the walls until I bump into something hard. I back up a few feet and look at what I bumped in to and scream.
He's horrible! Tall, muscular, wrinkled, bearded all the way down to his stomach... Ugh, you could say creeeeepy!
He screams as I scream and looks around crazily as if he's being attacked. "What?! Who's there?! Who you be screamin' at kid?!" He booms thunderously.
"Uh... you," I tell him. His purple eyes widen.
"Me? Excuse my ears, but I thought you said you were screaming at me?" He crosses his large arms. "Why would you scream at me?"
"Uh, because you're scary?" I suggest. Siri bleeps in agreement.
"Me? Scary?" he booms. "No way! You got it all wrong, kid! I ain't scary!" He offers a smile so large, it looks like a crescent moon. Only it's even more flippin' scary than before.
"Could you, uh, stop?" I ask as he keeps smiling at me. "You're creeping me out." His smile vanishes.
"Sorry, I just been so messed up recently. I'm afraid I shouldn't even be talking to you I'm so messed up." He turns from me and shakes his head. "You can go now."
"Wait, but is your name Darunia?" I ask. He turns to me.
"Why, yes it is! How'd you know?" he questions.
"Princess Zelda's sending me on this top-secret mission to get all the Spiritual Stones so we can stop some green wacko named Ganondorf and I'm not supposed to tell anyone anything about it. Do you happen to know where the Spiritual Stone of Fire is?" I ask.
Darunia strokes his gray beard and ponders this, staring off into the distance. "Hmm... Spiritual Stone of Fire, eh? Yeah, I happen to know what that is. In fact, it belongs to me. But I ain't just gon' let some twerp like you have it!" he says.
My shoulders fall. "Aw, and why not?"
"Well... I suppose... I could give it to you if you do me a favor. That is, if you really want it that bad..."
"Yes, yes!" I jump in quickly. "I'll do anything! Just give me the Stone!"
"Not so fast, kid," Darunia booms. "First, you need to do this: You see, we Gorons love music, right? And we love dancing. I don't know if you could tell... But! We have a regional dance competition coming up in a few weeks and we're all rehearsing for it but... we can't rehearse if we don't get enough food to eat. Without food, us Gorons can't even move a finger."
"Well, then eat food," I tell him hurriedly. "Problem solved. Stone now, please?"
"Don't interrupt, kid!" he snaps. "I wasn't finished! Us Gorons don't just eat any food! We eat bombs, straight from our bomb plants!"
There's an awkward silence as I stare at him after that. Um... Did he just say he eats bombs? WTF?!
"And the problem is, we can't get to our bombs because the ancient king Dodongo is hoarding all our bomb plants! Most of us haven't eaten in weeks and we're afraid we might lose the dance competition if we don't eat!"
Still extremely off-put and confused by the fact that these freaks eat bombs, I nod absently. "Uh-huh..."
"So if you want that Stone, you're going to go and defeat Dodongo so we can get our bomb flowers again!" Darunia announces. "That, or no deal!"
I look up to him. "Defeat this Dodonogogo thingymajigger and that's it?" I break into a smile. "Piece of cake!"
"Great! You'll do it? That's great news!" He gives me a thumbs up but then his face turns dark. "Might I warn you however, that Dodongo is extremely violent. I've already lost ten Gorons to the beast."
I stare up at him. "T-ten Gorons...? Violent?"
Darunia bellows in laughter. "But you said piece of cake, so it'll probably be nothing more than a walk in the park for you! Thank you so much... er... what's your name?"
"Link," I answer belatedly. "T-ten Gorons...?"
"Thank you so much! Head out the door and back down the path to Kakariko, you'll find a cavern. That's where King Dodongo lives!" He gives me a shove and I walk towards the exit.
"T-Ten Gorons...?"
"See you later, kid! I'm counting on you! Everyone's counting on you!" He gives me another thumbs up before shutting the door behind him. I stare at the shut door.
"Siri, did you hear that? Ten Gorons have already been killed. TEN! What chance do I have at living?"
Siri makes a few beeps then a number shows up on her screen. "Master, you have a 0.00002% chance of successfully defeating King Dogondo thingymajigger." I stare down at her horrifically. "Just kidding!" she squeaks happily. "For some reason I just felt like being another weird sidekick! Anyway, your chances are pretty good against Doggyongo thingymajigger if we stick together! How hard could it be?"
I decide not to answer her because the answer would just make me depressed and instead walk up to a nearby Goron.
"Excuse me," I shout. "Could you lead me to King Dogbingo's thingymajigger Cavern please?"
The Goron looks at me confusedly before his face lights in recognition. "Uh, I dunno. It's really dangerous down there!"
I sigh and pull out my Micheal Jackson CD. I show it to him. "I'll give you this if you lead me there!"
The Goron's face brightens and he nods a lot. "Okay! Okay! Anything for that CD!" He takes it in hand and pets it before signaling me to follow him.
"See, told you it was a good idea to get it," I tell Siri. She only scoffs.
"Whatevs Linkey. Just whatevs."
I follow the Goron out of Death Metal Mountain and then down the path I came up and stop in front of a large gaping hole leading into darkness.
"Well, this is it," he tells me, adjusting the shades on his eyes. "You know, ten Gorons died going in there..."
"Yes, yes, let's not remind the poor little boy of how many people died when he's probably just going to end up like them," I say, shaking my head. "Thanks for your help."
"Oh no probz! Just come to me with a Jackson CD and I'll be helping you with anything!" He smiles before he trounces back off up the hill.
I look down at Siri and she blinks up at me. "Well, ready to get this party started?" she asks. I gulp and nod.
"Let's do this."
xxx
Inside DiddyKongos thingymajigger cavern, it's really hot. And I wonder why what with all the freaking LAVA that's in here. Yes, lava. If Doddonger thingymajigger doesn't kill me, then I'll just end up falling into the lava and boiling alive.
With that happy thought in mind, I start off through the supa hot cavern. Out of nowhere Siri suddenly starts singing, "Somebody call 911, shortays fire burnin' on the dance floor, ohwhoaohhh!" until I tell her to shut up. Still, she keeps humming it.
"Where do you think this guy is?" I ask Siri. "I don't see anything OOTO."
"Huh?" she asks.
"Out of the ordinary," I explain. "I thought you, a phone and therefore master of chatspeak, would understand that."
"Um, no one says that, Link," she says. I frown
"Whatever. Don't you have any information to give me?" I demand. She beeps a few times.
"Well, I googled King Whateverhisstupidnameis and only a few results came up. King Dodongo's Pizza Palace, King Dodongo's Pet Shop, Dodongo Kingsly the actor and yeah, that's pretty much it."
I frown. "Great, so there's nothing on how to defeat this guy once we find him? If we find him?" I ask. She bleeps.
"I'll keep looking."
We walk in silence for a couple more minutes until I notice the rubble on the ground below me start to quiver. Rocks bounce up and down on the ground and I find myself rocking back and forth too. I stop short as loud, heavy poundings sound out from the distance.
"Pst, Siri, ya hear that?" I whisper. "It sounds like..."
"Footsteps," she finishes. "Yeah, I hear them too. Do you think...?"
"Yeah," I say. "I do."
I start off in the direction of the footsteps and the more I walk, the louder and more intense they get until I'm standing at the edge of a deep gorge, staring down into darkness. The pounding intensifies from down below and I shudder.
"I'm going to have to jump down there, aren't I?" I ask Siri.
"Hmmm... looks like it. If you want that Stone," she replies.
I sigh. "Go figure." I glance down at the seemingly endless hole and take a deep breath. Well, here goes nothing.
I jump.
