All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.
This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!
Chapter 5 Bella
I let it fall, my heart,
And as it fell, you rose to claim it
It was dark and I was over
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me
Set Fire to the Rain by Adele
He kissed me!
That's the only thing I could think as I drove home after dinner that night. After I had told him about canceling with Jacob, our natural gravitational pull had seemed to bring us closer and closer until he closed the gap and pressed his full, warm lips to mine.
My body had exploded with emotion; the feel of him against me, and in me as he explored my mouth with his warm, sensual tongue had made me feel as though I were on fire without being burned. I was barely aware that I had moved into his lap, until Charlie intervened.
The noises he made, the gentle reverent touches he gave me, the feel of his hot body pressed against mine as I let myself fall into him, were the only things I could think about. The fact that my father had been stood right there and cleared his throat didn't diminish those thoughts in the slightest.
We'd talked a little more, but all I could think was he kissed me, he'd given me my first kiss and my body felt like everything had aligned to make me feel whole, as though my life had a purpose and he was it.
He was still throwing around the friend word, but with passion like that, there was no way he could maintain that was all we could have for too long. He said he'd wanted to be better for me, that he wasn't good enough, but all I could think was how perfect he really was for me, how he fit my life and made me feel complete.
For maybe the first time in my life, I felt like I had a purpose and I knew he had something to do with that.
I could see Charlie's smile as I waved goodnight to him when I got home. I'd imagined he would have chewed me a new one for catching me in such a compromising position with a man that was two years my senior, but he never said a word.
I went through my daily routine feeling brighter than I had since I'd arrived in Forks. I hadn't seen my wolf as much since I'd become friends with Paul. It became even worse when Charlie had suggested that Paul would need a friend.
I wasn't sure why he needed someone to talk to and I wasn't going to risk pushing him for answers and have him turn me away, so when he asked to just watch movies I nodded and simply sat with him and watched TV as I held his hand. That first night we sat close together on his couch, his heat making me feel lethargic as I watched the pictures without any concept of what was going on. His home was tiny, but sitting here on his couch with him, the place could have been a Palace and I wouldn't have noticed.
All I knew was that Paul was there and whether conscious, or subconsciously I was always aware of him being there. Of course when I happened a look up at him he appeared to be concentrating entire too hard on the movie.
That wasn't the only night we did that, after the first night of just being with him I returned each night and did homework while I waited for him to get home. I enjoyed his company and I bathed in the joy of feeling whole and having a purpose. Being able to do something, anything, for him made these exchanges more equitable. He gave me so much by letting me be there, and this was all I had to offer him in return.
As time went on, the awkwardness I normally felt around him was still there, but it grew less with every chance I had to see him. He'd said he was horrible at the friend thing, but the truth was he was fun to be around. I even cherished the times when we sat in silence because it was so much better than not being near him.
I was almost disappointed when the weekend rolled around. He had a second job that he didn't talk about much but the way they talked about patrolling when they thought I wasn't around, I figured he either worked for the reservation police or he moonlighted as a security guard. Either way, I knew he would tell me in his own time. One thing I had learned about Paul was that pushing him for answers only made him more stubborn.
"I won't take no for an answer," Kim said insistently pulling me out of my rumination. "Paul's been greedy with you, and I know he's busy tonight."
"Who's going?"
"Melissa and me, that's it, nothing complicated."
Melissa had been Kim's best friend for as long as she could remember, but she didn't get to spend as much time with her as she would have wanted because Kim spent so much time with Jared.
"And why are we going?"
"Did you listen to anything I said?" Kim teased, shuffling the phone on her shoulder, making a rustling sound down the line. "The school dance you're refusing to go to requires a certain dress code. I know you don't want to go but it'll be good for you to get out of town."
"What time?"
"We'll leave around two, Melissa doesn't get off work until one thirty."
I knew Paul was working until at least seven that night which really shouldn't have influenced my answer, but it did in so many ways. It seemed where Paul was concerned I wasn't willing to waste a second of time with him.
"That sounds good. I wanted to run into the bookstore there anyway. This saves me a trip."
"You're such a nerd."
"If you say so," I laughed, perching the phone on my shoulder so I could throw something at Charlie as he headed out the door. He turned to look at me and I held up one finger.
"Okay we'll swing by and pick you up, be ready woman."
"I will. Talk to you then." I hung up the phone and almost fell over when I tried to walk away. Somehow I'd managed to tangle myself in the phone cord.
Charlie chuckled and watched as I spun out of the wire and turned to face him with a grin. The prospect of keeping myself busy had cheered me up considerably.
"I'm going to Port Angeles with Kim and Melissa. I just wanted to let you know."
"You need some money?"
"No, sir, I still have some money left over from birthday and Christmas. Mom doesn't believe in suffocating someone's personal taste by making decisions for them."
"Of course she doesn't," Charlie said shaking his head with a knowing smile. "Just be careful and take your phone with you."
"Will do," I said looking at the clock. I still had a couple of hours to kill before they would be here to pick me up. "I'm leaving at two, but I shouldn't be too late."
"Just keep me posted. See you later, kid."
I gave him a nod and looked down at my phone again. Wondering whether a text telling Paul where I would be was overkill.
"He'll appreciate you letting him know," Charlie said as he disappeared out of the room. I listened as the door opened and closed before deciding he was right.
Hey you. Just wanted to let you know I'm going to Port Angeles with Kim and Mel. Be back later. You still on for dinner tonight?
I put my cell in my back pocket and went about my usual Saturday tidying the house and getting a head start on laundry. Charlie still tried to dissuade me from housework, but it was useless, I was a creature of habit and this was just one of those things that I needed to do to keep me occupied.
It didn't take long for Paul to respond, and even I was surprised by my goofy smile at seeing his name on my phone.
Yes to dinner. Be careful in Port Angeles and stay close to Kim. Call me if you need me.
Yes dad. I typed back. Will put oven on timer so dinner will be ready when you get here. Have a good day.
I wanted to end it with I miss you, but I was trying to be casual and not force him into something he wasn't ready for. It was the truth, but that didn't mean it was the right thing to say.
He sent a reply saying nothing but smart-ass! So I left it at that so I wouldn't look needy. Even though I was more comfortable around him, it didn't mean that I wasn't constantly holding myself back so I wouldn't smother him.
When Kim finally showed up, I was outside waiting for her, I'd already finished everything I needed to do and I'd been pacing for the last thirty minutes waiting for her.
The ride to Port Angeles was filled with idle chatter from the two girls in the front. Melissa had been giving me a rundown of all the dances the res school had ever held and why it was so necessary to go to them. She didn't stop talking the entire drive to Port Angeles and halfway into running through the racks at the only department store in town.
She seemed nice enough, but her voice was grating on my nerves, and even Kim seemed to be exhausted.
"Guys, I'm going to head to the bookstore. Call me when you're ready to meet up."
Kim gave me an understanding nod and moved further away from Melissa and her idle chatter, while I headed for the door that were offering me liberation from the chatty Cathy that was raising her voice to reach Kim who was at least four racks away from her.
I'd almost made it to the doors when I saw it. I don't know why it made me think of Paul, but the sudden need to buy it for him overwhelmed me. It seemed to stem from the urge to please him, more than that I knew it would suit him.
The leather cuff was stressed to look vintage, attached to it was a beautiful watch face that seemed to have every dial anyone would ever need on a watch. I debated on whether to buy it for him, running my finger along the glass case and sighing.
When a sales person approached me, I found myself pointing it out and handing over the cash before really thinking about it. I'd never seen him wearing a watch so I knew I was taking a chance. I knew there was a possibility he could see it as something more than it was and not accept it, but oddly, it was a risk I was willing to take. I wanted him to do something nice for him.
I folded up the small bag and pushed it into one of the pockets as I approached the doors, the heavens had opened and unleashed some of the heaviest rain I'd seen yet. It may have rained constantly, but it was normally that hazy mist of water that seemed to work its way into every nook and cranny. This was different; these were thick, fat drops than came in a constant stream.
Before I was three steps out of the store, a huge black umbrella covered me, and a guy I semi recognized stood holding the handle above me. His crooked smile seemed to light up his face, but his eyes were cautious, and guarded. His messed red brown hair looked like he'd been playing with electricity.
"I know you."
He laughed rather than answering and seemed perfectly happy to be moving at the snails pace I was operating at. I wasn't exactly well balanced at the best of times, but in the rain it was like Bambi on ice.
"Common courtesy normally implies you state where I know you from," I said with a tinge of sarcasm.
"It'll come to you."
"You sure about that?" I asked, looking up at him. "For all you know I could be suffering from amnesia, in a case like that you could be waiting for a while."
"Are you always this sarcastic?"
"Only with strangers," I responded with a smirk of my own.
"Lets just say your puppy could have killed me had you not been there."
"My pup . . . You were in the forest."
He laughed and turned down the street I needed long before I'd even looked up to see whether I was going the right way.
"See, I told you it would come to you. You're the chief's daughter, right"
"You live in Forks?"
"Just outside. My dad's a doctor at the hospital," he said brushing his hair from his forehead and bringing my attention to his odd colored eyes. They were amber, almost gold, but the black of the pupil seemed to be bleeding into the color. It was the strangest looking thing I'd ever seen.
"Love your contacts. I would totally change my eye color if I needed glasses. Brown is very plain." Except with the possibility of Paul's. I thought to myself.
"I like your eyes," he said gently, his voice like liquid satin. He was a good-looking guy if I actually paid enough attention to really analyze him. His subtle muscles seemed to stand out against his sweater, and his square jaw was sharp and angular emphasizing his handsome features. His eyes seemed to carry more years than his physical age and I wondered, briefly, about his story.
"Thanks," I laughed, feeling a small blush rise in my cheeks. "So you go to Forks High?"
"Is it that obvious?" he chortled, fidgeting uncomfortably as he stepped closer to me. "How come I haven't seen you around?"
"I go to the school down on the reservation. My dad's best friend pulled some strings."
"That's unusual."
"Not really," I laughed, stopping outside the bookstore. "Especially when said best friend is pretty much the tribal chief."
He gave off another laugh and pushed open the door to the bookstore for me. I stepped in and was surprised when he closed the umbrella and stepped in behind me.
"I'm Edward," he said quietly as he walked past me. He'd leaned in so his smell enveloped me. It was intoxicating, and luring, but held nothing to what I felt when I was around Paul. Feeling a little uncomfortable at his closeness I backed away and wandered between some stacks, my fingers running along the spines of some literary classics.
When I pulled a book from the shelf, he leaned against the stacks next to the space the book had left behind. The copy I was holding was a complete works of William Shakespeare that was leather bound and the parchment was so thin it resembled wax paper. It was the very reason I had chosen this bookstore. They were all antiques and the smell was enough to set the hairs on the back of my neck tingling.
"See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!" Edward quoted, his voice licking the articulation of old English as though he felt the words. "So, what's your name? I gave you mine."
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." I quoted back with a smirk. "You walked into that one, Edward."
He laughed a genuine laugh and tipped his head to the side, looking up at me from under his lashes. He was prompting me for an answer and I felt inclined to give it to him.
"My name is Bella."
He turned and playfully banged his head against the stacks, his hand gripping one of the shelves lightly, which only seemed to make me laugh. I wasn't sure why he was doing it but I was trying to hold out on asking, especially considering he was fishing for it.
"You know there's a comeback there, right?" he asked tipping his head to the side.
"Is this you fighting the urge?"
"You're so cold," he whined.
I laughed and wandered further down the isle, keeping hold of the Shakespeare book, which was definitely going to cost me, but I was going to get anyway.
"So, seeing as I don't have the pleasure of your company at school, would you be willing to accompany to a movie one night?"
I stopped. I'd never really had anyone flirt with me before and this slight battle of wits hadn't really struck me as a prelude to a date. I turned around slowly and let my eyes meet the amber of his. I had never intended for this to happen, it had just been nice to have a decent conversation.
"I'm sorry, Edward, I'm kind of seeing someone at the moment, but I appreciate the offer," I said honestly, shifting the book to my other arm as the weight began to create an ache.
"Kind of seeing someone?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's like saying almost blue."
"It's complicated, but it doesn't mean I want to see anyone else. I appreciate the gesture though."
"Will you at least take my number in case you change your mind?"
"You don't give up easily do you?" I teased, starting to walk again.
"What would be the fun in that?"
My phone chirped from my pocket and I fished it out, reading the text from Kim. They were checking out and asked me to meet them outside the store so I could go with them to the shoe store. Apparently Kim needed saving from the never-ending chatter of Melissa.
"I'm sorry. I have to go," I said, typing out a quick reply and stowing my phone in my pocket. I checked out and left the store, running as carefully as I could down the sidewalk toward the department store.
I crossed a small back street and tripped over the corresponding curb. I threw my arms out to catch myself, but I never hit the ground. Instead, two strong arms caught me around the waist and pulled me against a brick wall of a chest, cool breath washed over my shoulder with the sound of his laughter.
"Thank you," I squeaked, wriggling out of his arms and pulling down my jacket.
"No problem, it's probably a good thing I came after you."
"That's the worst excuse for stalking I ever heard," I said turning to face him.
"No," he chortled, holding out my phone. "This fell out of your pocket."
"Man I'm such a klutz. Thanks, Edward, it really was good to meet you."
"As it was you," he smiled, backing away from me. "I hope to see you again soon, Bella."
Then he was gone, jogging steadily through the rain in the opposite direction from me. His head down and his collar up as he headed into the driving rain that was coming down harder than it had all day.
Taking a breath I continued on my way to the department store.
Darkness was a veil on an already dark horizon as we headed back to Forks. The sheets of rain made it almost impossible to see out of the windows so we drove slowly, taking corners with caution. Kim was nervous about the lack of vision, but Jared's concerned calls seemed to keep her focused on the road ahead of her.
Melissa wasn't as talkative on the way back. Thankfully, she seemed to be more interested in the game she was playing on her phone. Neither Kim nor I complained.
When I got home, I knew Paul was there long before I was able to seem him, in my farewell to Kim and Melissa I could feel that familiar pull toward the house and I was eager to get inside and talk to him. It felt much longer than twenty-four hours since I'd last seen him.
Unfortunately, when I got inside it wasn't exactly the reception I had imagined.
The moment I walked in I knew something was wrong, Paul's body tensed, his shoulders rolling forward in a predatory manner as he shook. His eyes, normally so filled with gentleness when he looked at me, were filled with thunder.
"What?" I asked, concerned. Even Charlie was watching him with trepidation, his eyes flicking toward the two of us.
"Who?" Paul growled, pushing up from his seat and prowling toward me. "Who have you been with?"
"Kim and Melissa," I said, raising my eyebrows in question.
"No, Bella," he hissed, his trembling growing with every passing second. "Who else?"
"Easy, Paul," Charlie warned, pushing out of his chair. I looked between the two of them and stepped back from Paul's advance.
"Some guy stopped me from face-planting into the sidewalk. I met him in the bookstore earlier."
"Son of a bitch," Paul spat, brushing past me, sending small tingles up my spine.
"What? Where are you going?" I called as he threw the door open and took off into the rain. "Paul, wait!"
By the time I rounded the door-frame he was stood in the rain, his shoulders hunched as he shook. I dropped the bag with the book by the front door and leaped off the porch, landing with a stumble that could have been much worse if he hadn't been there to catch me.
His arms closed around me and pulled me into his hard chest. One hand moved to my neck as his forehead rested against mine.
"His scent is all over you, I can't stand it."
"What are you talking about?" I asked gently, my free hand running down his cheek. "Tell me what you mean."
"I have to go," he whispered, his shaking becoming worse.
"Talk to me, Paul."
"I can't, not about this."
"Why?" I whispered, letting my thumb brush under his eyes as the air between us crackled. There were so many emotions exploding around my body that I couldn't settle on just one. Something about that moment made me feel like I had to fight to keep the man I loved close. He was slipping away and I wasn't sure why or what had spooked him.
"Why you?" he said so quiet I wasn't sure I was meant to hear it. "You're so perfect."
Taking a risk, I pushed up onto my toes and pressed my lips against his, he moved to pull away, but before he could he fell into the moment, sweeping me up into his arms so we were the same height. I initiated everything in this kiss. My teeth pulled his bottom lip into my mouth making him gasp and giving me the opportunity to deepen the moment between us.
He moaned into my mouth, his hands squeezing my waist and thighs as cradled me to his chest. I could feel myself trembling against him, but it was nothing to do with the cold rain that filtered from the sky and washed over us. This was all emotion, this was everything I felt manifested into a physical, palpable being. It was then I knew I could never let him go, he was everything to me, he was my reason for being, my reason for breathing. I knew he didn't feel the same way, not yet anyway but i would wait for an eternity for him to realize it.
He broke from the kiss with a panting breath, his eyes darkened, but not with anger. He dropped me to my feet and stepped back, his hands holding mine as he created more space between us.
"Paul."
"I have to go," he said, his emotions causing a cyclone over his forehead. "I will be back."
I nodded and felt the void as he disappeared from his place in front of me. I wasn't sure exactly what had happened, but something in me had shifted. Whether I liked it or not I had finally admitted how I felt about him. Whether it was to the whole town or just myself, it didn't matter. The truth had set me free and gave me wings.
Nostalgicmiss: Paul definitely isn't happy! Wonder where he's headed? Edward was definitely sneaky in his approach, but Bella's still clueless, poor thing. I'm guessing Paul's not going to take that well. Thank you to all of you for reading, alerting favoriting and of course reviewing. Your responses always blow us away and we appreciate everything you guys have to say. B, you are the best friend a girl could ask for. You're supportive and encouraging and I have no words to express how much I am thankful for you! I love you sister from another mister! Writing with you is, as always, a pleasure.
Sabi'sSookie: Paul is pissed for sure! And I know you guys are all dying to know what he's gonna' do about it… because you can bet he won't take this lying down! For all you lovers of jealous, possessive, angry, hot Paul… Yeah, he might just get a little… Shit, I always almost spill the beans! LOL! I want to thank every single one of you for all the love! I am so sorry I have been MIA, but know that I have read and loved every review! Some of you crack me up with your comments! And your passion for these characters just astounds me! I love you all! Shirtless Paul's for everyone! Weezy, you are most definitely my sister, and I love you to bits! I have been missing our chats like crazy, but I promise I'm having loads of fun, at least. Still wishing you were here with us, being all crazy! You are the most amazing human being on the planet! Much love, hunnie! *MWAH*
