Olivia's POV
Despite the situation, I don't think the house could have been any happier. Instead of crying, Merris was grinning. Her eyes were dry and warm, not wet and intense. In fact, I swear they faded. I couldn't see a trace of black in her wide pupils. It reminded me of Jacob's photos posted in his office of their younger days, a specific picture actually where she was sitting on Jacob's porch with Seth and Embry. The trio was bright eyed, wide smiled, and pink cheeks from the cold, fall cheeks. Of course, her cheeks were the brightest due to the light complexity.
In fact, I was tempted to go pick up the picture and just compare the scenes. Marisol wouldn't care if I left for a second. She was too busy whispering secrets into Annie's ears, which in return, the girl would giggle and stare at the row of cards in Merris' hands. I don't think she really understood the game of poker but that didn't matter, the adults were happy and the anxious 6 year old behaved in Marisol's arms. Emily would be so happy.
"Hey," I interrupted the light humor of our circle, "I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"Don't worry, we won't peak!" Annie replied with a mischievous grin, one that mimicked Marisol's. It was uncanny. A spurt of giggles escaped Marisol's lips and she struggled to keep her back straight when her body fell over the table as the result of her hard laughter.
"Shh! Now you gave her the idea we will!" Marisol joked, veiling her face with the little girl's long hair.
Kim laughed hardily beside them, patting Merris' shoulder. "She's just like Sam. She sucks at keeping secrets."
Annie pouted at Kim and then up at Marisol. "I'll give you a lesson in bluffing, young grasshopper." Marisol said, concluding in a wink and then focused back onto the game of poker.
"You'll see, in life," Marisol started, holding Annie closer to her, as if she was her own child, and it made my heart tug a bit, "if you keep quiet, no one will know what you're going to do. Therefore you can do something, have time to cover it up, and when they finally have an idea of what you did, they can't prove it. Acquitted, just like that!" She demonstrated with a snap. Annie giggled and stared up at Marisol's teasing face. "A straight face gives nothing away."
That was for sure, I thought sullenly. Even though Marisol was happy, she had yet to give us any answers. If anything, the kid was a distraction for her. Annie certainly did ease her mood but that didn't change Marisol's trust issue with the other women. The mood was lighter though. From the look on Leah's face, it was a miracle Marisol was smiling.
"What does acquit mean?" Annie asked.
Marisol bit her lip and her eyes swooped to the ceiling and around the room, obvious thinking, a habit I noticed throughout the night she had.
"It means you're excused to a crime, most of the time because there isn't any evidence to prove it." Annie only nodded. I doubted she understood most of that.
"Accused," Annie repeated.
"No, no, excused."
"Speaking of acquitted, you won't believe what happened to your mom." Kim spoke up.
Everything went silent as all eyes were on Kim. Leah's were wide with silent pleading and mine were wide with curiosity, while Merris' were narrowly slit. The air pressure dropped and I could feel my heart anxiously beating, anticipating the once warm atmosphere to burst into chaotic flames.
"She disappeared right after you left, just packed up her bags and left. We wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't for Jacob shouting all over town the house was empty. He was frantic about it. Heck, he even broke into it to see if she took everything."
"Did she?"
"Nope," Kim said, "she left everything of yours. It was kind of creepy. It was like you never even left the house. You know, in those cliché horror movies, where there's that one room that seems to have a mind of its own? Where you know that something's wrong with it but don't know what? Kind of like that feeling and since the power was out, we usually visited during the day and the rain did not help the creepy mood at all." Kim laughed and Leah tried to, too but we all knew now Leah knew better than Marisol being dead.
Surprisingly I couldn't tell if any of the girls held a grudge.
"It isn't creepy anymore," I tried to joke but it felt awkward coming from my mouth. Leah shot me a glance and I zipped my lips shut.
"Yeah, where did Jake put it when he moved? Speaking of which, how the hell did he get this place? It's a bit higher maintenance compared the usual two bedroom house."
"Jake worked extra hours, barely spent any money for himself for a long time, saving up for the asking price. He offered the highest bit to the bank and she took it. He barely had furniture to fill up the place so he let us store some of our stuff here. In fact Claire has an extra bedroom upstairs whenever Embry has her. She loves it. It was difficult placing Billy on the main floor, especially with the tiny budget for remodeling but there's a far off room in the west corner that Billy would sleep at."
Marisol's perfectly plucked brows knitted together and she subconsciously glanced towards the hall but didn't step out of her seat. "Where is Billy anyways?"
Leah sighed and answered for Kim. "He died two years ago." Marisol's face paled and her eyes dropped onto Annie's head. She was speechless.
Leah extended her hand and rubbed Marisol's cold shoulder. With the few months I knew him, despite his disdain for me, I could reason why. Like everyone else, he thought I was Merris' replacement, and took every chance to taunt me with her memory. "Marisol was one of a kind. She didn't mind sitting with me, talking or watching TV. She would be the perfect daughter-in-law. Her cooking could've used some work but that girl could achieve anything she put her mind into. Jake is an idiot to throw her aside," he'd always tell me. I must say, with a small ounce of disgust for my part for even thinking it, that I was glad the old fellow was dead, so I could escape her footsteps that I didn't intend to follow but was pushed into.
"He was really fond of you," I told Marisol, feeling sympathetic for her part. It must be a tough blow for her to suffer another loss but I couldn't comprehend her pain, not on a personal level. "He never gave up on you. He harassed Jake daily about his idiocy for letting you go. Trust me, not a day went day without his constant reminders."
Marisol was still speechless and I noticed her eyes glistened. Was she going to cry again? Leah was at her side instantly. Kim was awkward and hesitantly stood up only to sit back down, feeling safer at a distance, like I.
"I'm fine," she choked up. "I'm just shocked. He was a hardy man, he shouldn't die so soon. He ought to have lived longer." She hugged Annie closer, like a teddy bear, before abruptly loosening her grip and letting her slide off her knee and propping her onto the clean kitchen floors.
"I… uh… how… was the funeral?"
"It was nice, small, right on the beach, with a beautiful sunny day, just like he deserved. He would've loved it."
Marisol nodded. "I should've been there. He was a father to me. He was a lot like my dad. He loved football, outing, and enjoyed the comfort of home, something I rarely got to enjoy. I miss that, going inside a house and feeling warm and easy. He brought a lot of good memories for me."
I don't think Marisol wanted to know the devastating details of how he died so we remained quiet, leaving her alone to her thoughts.
"Well there's no point dreading on the past. I'm glad he's at peace. I'll have to pay my respects before I leave. I'll ask Jacob before I go where he's buried." She wiped some traitorous tears from her face and we all offered her some solemn smiles but she didn't notice. Her mind was off somewhere else.
"Well going to back to where he put your stuff…" Kim awkwardly began.
"No, no," Marisol interrupted, leaning forward onto the table, setting her row of cards down and stared at us intensity. "I want to hear what else happened when I gone. If Jake can't tell me, and trust me he had the chance to with the four days I've been cooped up in this place, I want to hear it from one of you. You owe me that much," she demanded in a cool voice. It was unnerving.
All of sat down and set our cards down, for no longer was play time anymore and Annie knew that. She, from Kim's stern glance, knew she had to go away and ran upstairs to Claire's room to do whatever the room had to offer.
"You have yet to tell us what went down after you left," Kim countered but her voice was meek. Mine would be, too, because both Leah's and Merris' eyes were set into a fatal stare.
"We'll trade. You'll tell me one thing, and in return, I'll answer one of your questions." She sounded seriously and I was getting colder by the second.
"I don't know where to start…" Kim nervously replied.
"I do," I announced. "What happened after you left? What was your plan when you were on your own?"
Leah never gave me specific details and my curiosity was chewing at my insides.
"I stayed with a friend for a few months while she helped me with some papers. I got a new identity, and we planned on giving my baby a new start, too, so he wouldn't have to be tied back here. He needed a normal life with normal people. My goal was to keep him away from strange as possible. My new name wasn't special, just an anagram, I guess. I wanted to make sure my last name wasn't any how connected, at the risk of being found out. I planned on the name Chris or Charlie, in remembrance for my father. During the while, I stayed low. I rarely got out of the house. I had hoped when the baby was out, Taylor's mom could pull off as the real mother until I finished my schooling and afterwards I would move to another state, where the law could no longer get me since I was eighteen. I never got the chance, because on the few nights I got out to a movie, a drunk hit us on the side and the impact was too great for my stomach. I fell into a depression, numb, and fell into a bland routine, until I realized I was going nowhere. I lost interest in life and was this close to ending it all," she made an inch with her fingers and Leah looked down on the table to hide her face. "Even Leah couldn't help me. She was stuck in Seattle and only could do so much. She had hid my secret but that's about all she could do from the other side of the country. My boss found me and offered a job. It allowed me to travel and since it was classified, no external agency would interfere and jeopardize my cover. I felt safe and secure. But then…"
We waited for her to continue but she ended it there. "There, one question answered, now your turn to tell. How did Jake react when I left? How has he been? He hasn't been talking to me, which I don't know if it's bad or a blessing, and I doubt he would, so could you do the courtesy of filling me in?"
I wanted to scream, why would she care? She has done nothing but torture the guy's soul. As if she generally cared, I betted she was looking for information to use against him. My feelings might've shown on my face because she narrowed her eyes on me and I felt a shiver run down my spine.
Leah didn't share my thoughts as she openly exposed Jake's tribulations.
"He's a zombie, working his ass off at the shop to keep this house afloat. He manages but still, it takes the majority of his profits. It's too much space for him, Marisol. And the fact 90% of this place is empty tortures him. He really wants someone to welcome him home, to share his bed, to fill these extra rooms with kids. Family is really important to him and welcomes the whole pack into this- well excluding me for the obvious reasons- into this house. But you should see his office because he a boat load of pictures of-"
"LEAH!" I hissed. As if I'd let her expose that vulnerable side of him.
"She asked and she deserves an answer."
Marisol's face contorted into obvious suspicion. "What about the office?"
Marisol's POV
I didn't know what to think, how to react, or what to do. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what the office looked like but I didn't think of it as a big deal, not until I was greeted by my own face.
My own face from 6-7 years ago, sprawled all over his desk and walls. I swore the room dropped in degrees from the coldness of those memories printed around us. Though there were as many pictures of the rest of the pack, Bella (the ones I made a point to either a, glare at, or b, avoid), Billy, the ones that seemed to pierce the deepest part of me and spark tears that I had hoped the dim lighting hid, and even some other Cullen family members. It all reminded me of the ghost of my past life that seemed to haunt me everywhere I went and I was finally staring face-to-face with it.
It all seemed to cave on in me and the numerous eyes behind me, examining me, perhaps even dissecting me, only added to my shame.
Looking at me from the lenses of a camera really wrote a different perspective on myself now. There was a significant difference, no doubt, from my naïve self to what I became later in life. My smile was wide, open, and free. It wasn't forced as I sat between Embry and Quil on Jake's front steps. I was so at ease with the two, at the point I trusted them, just like I did with Jake. The harsh reminder slapped me into the face. How easily I could have left myself vulnerable with them, any of them.
Yet another question slipped into my mind, too.
We were all alike at some point. Not a care in the world and all accepting of changes because we could depend on each other. Why did that change? I knew when but never could understand why. They could trust me but for some reason, banished me, but for what? I managed to push those thoughts away a long time ago but now that I'm back, the curiosity was really itching at me.
I understood why Jake did. It was me or Bella and since he couldn't have both, he put his bets on Bella over me. But why were the rest of them willing to join his side? What did I do that convinced them I was bad?
I set the picture down before it could take any more hits on my personal wall that I worked so hard to heighten to protect the little girl inside of me. They already wounded me enough. The memory alone could destroy a person. It almost killed me.
"Are you alright? Marisol?"
Her voice didn't register as I got the hell out of the room. I needed to escape. Leah's reflexes caught me right before I was too far. I didn't turn around.
"Merris, please, what's wrong?" She pleaded.
I couldn't let the past go. That was the problem. I took a deep breath and fell into her arms as my heart, heavy and hard, weighed me onto the ground. Kim and Olivia circled around me, staring bewildered at my pathetic state.
My legs curled up on the hard wood. As uncomfortable as the cold surface was, my body was numb and I couldn't motivate myself to stand up. I felt that low so I might as well get comfortable on the ground, ready to get trampled again.
"Merris, Merris, listen to me, baby. I got you. Don't worry about anything else! I swear it'll get better."
Her words used to work for me before but reality was stronger than her grip. I knew it wasn't. I didn't belong here and as cowardly as running away was, I considered it. I ran away from my problems once before and it worked out. Why would this time be any different?
"Everybody says all's fair in love and war. Didn't they consider prisoners or causalities of war? Those who invested too much and lost everything? Nothing's fair in love and war. I was one against something so much stronger than I and took everything I had. I had to start fresh but have to be reminded of what could've been if the outcome was different. I can't do it again. Don't you think I'm already taunted enough?"
Kim and Olivia looked down in shame. I averted my eyes toward the deep brown of the stained floors.
"I was young, naïve, and vulnerable. I threw away every lesson I had learned in California for the sake of love. I took a risk because I thought Jacob was worth it. He insisted he'd never hurt me, that he was there for me. He fooled me. Everyone should have the right to trust somebody but he took that from me. That's why I'm so screwed up. Why couldn't he just tell me the truth? That he loved someone else? I'd rather accept that than feel ashamed for being so damn gullible. Now I feel like the biggest idiot out there. I question every move I make because I worry it might be the wrong one."
"I used to be so confident. I could walk somewhere or nowhere and feel like I'll be just fine if something goes awry. That's all changed. I can't take someone's word without thinking about any ulterior motives they could possibly have. I wish life could back to basics and be simple where answers could be answered with a yes or no, when you KNOW somebody, that everything was written in bold instead in fine print. Yeah, yeah, I know that's unrealistic but… I hate when you have to look over shoulder when you try to move forward. It's tiring. Why both trying when you know you make it around the corner?"
"All the men in my life are gone. My father, the one who protected me from all the gore of life, died in the bloodiest way possible, wrapped around a tree. His body was unrecognizable. And you know what my mom got out of it? A two million payoff from the insurance policy, that's what. None of which even was passed to me like he intended for. I don't care about the money though. I lost my protector. That's the day I had to toughen to protect myself. Something a ten year old shouldn't have to do. My second father died and I couldn't even attend his funeral like I should've. I didn't even say goodbye. That is awful and I deserve the guilt for it. My first love, the one I put everything I have up front for, stomped on me the moment he saw someone else. It's not so much that he left me for another girl that upsets me but the audacity that he didn't tell me, it was something I had to find out all on my own, and it hurt like hell that I wasn't even worth being honest, too. That was being used and pushed around like a rag doll."
"I was raised better than that. That's why I'm so bitter, if you're wondering. Not only because he left me on my own, I can take of myself though perfectly fine, but also because I was treated like I was the one who did the unthinkable, that I was shunned for something I shouldn't be. I hate being the scapegoat for some else's mistakes."
Kim and Olivia stared at me with sorrowful eyes, unable to comment on my sad standing.
"Oh, don't be pitiful. Olivia, you've been scrutinizing me since the day I arrived. You blame me for Jake's sad state. You don't get he chose this for himself and he has to face the consequences of his actions. I did nothing and you blame me for that. Like hell I was going to do anything else for him. He made it clear he didn't want anything else to me. I wasn't going to lend a helping hand when I know he was most likely going to bite it off. Kim, I don't know what you're standing on this is but you and I never really knew each other. You're only impression of me was of that of a spoiled rich girl who got everything she wanted. You didn't reach out to me as a friend. In fact you kept your distance and hid behind Jared." I shook my head. "I'm not condemning you, I'm just stating the fact that you don't need to feel anything for me. You and I shared nothing."
"But Merris," her bottom lip trembled. "If I would've known…"
I cut her off, "if being the key word. You didn't. That's alright. I don't hate you. I actually envy you. You have a good life, a good husband I heard, and a son. Everything I want but I won't take my frustration on you. A lot of people have what you have. I'm just one of the unlucky ones and I'll deal with that as life goes on. Be happy of what you have. Don't dwell on my case. Like Jacob described me as once, I'm toxic. I'm no good. I'd hate to ruin your happiness."
I knew I sounded like a bitch, like I cared anymore. I'm tired of being smothered by everyone in this town like an attraction. I wanted to be left alone and separate from my past mistakes they can't help but force on me.
"Merris," Leah tried to sooth.
"Leah, you've been the best friend that any girl is lucky to have. I appreciate how you're always there for me, how you didn't listen to the bullshit Jacob gave you."
"Ditto," she mumbled into my head.
"But I'm disappointed how you didn't let go of the drama that I dragged around. You needed to get on with your own life instead of trying to help with mine. This is my mess, not yours. And it's my duty as a friend to tell you what's good for you. This right here," I don't know what this was because of so many elements and webs that made up this whole situation. "This right here is poison. You have your own demons and you won't take up any more of mine. Do you understand? I will not allow you to try sort out my clutter of a life, okay? Focus on your own."
Leah nodded and hugged onto me tighter.
Kim and Olivia kept their distance, awkward and unprepared. I didn't blame them. This whole situation got out of hand and too many people got too caught up. It needed to be finished, resolved, and buried. I gulped, knowing what I had to do.
"This has gone on for too long. I will admit it's partly my fault. Jacob and I never really ended this for good. There are too many loose ends and unresolved issues. He and I may not have worked out but at least we could've set things straight instead of this… too many people got involved. This is just between him and me." I took a breath.
Oddly, my heart was even. My pulse was steady. Not at all was a nervous, maybe because I was numb or maybe because I wasn't weighed down anymore. Sure, I was on the ground, but was I sobbing? No, maybe I was stone cold and stiff but my face had yet to be stained with tears. It felt easy talking, especially when every word seemed to ease my worries. I felt prepared. That was something new for me.
"I will sort it out. Just between him and me tonight, like the adults we should be. This matter shouldn't be prolonged any longer."
Kim, Olivia, and Leah all exchanged different looks. Kim was surprised but nonetheless happy, Olivia looked relieved but I noticed how tight her eyes were, she was still weary. This didn't dim my strengthening ease. I couldn't see Leah's expression nor did I want to. I knew her enough to know she thought it was a bad idea but she had her own issues with Jacob that wasn't really a priority with her to resolve unlike mine. He had been haunting me for too long and we needed to solve our personal crises.
"Everybody just go home, please. I'll be fine. I promise by tomorrow it'll be alright for both Jake and I." That's what they wanted, for Jake to finally go on, and despite my personal morals and beliefs, I would give him that one last favor. Maybe the pressure got to me or maybe I needed this, too, to get his perspectives on things.
What I really need was his explanation, some closure, to end this difficult chapter.
"Are you sure?" Leah questioned.
"Just go."
Leah heeded my warning and got up. She hesitantly let me and waited a second for me to get on my feet but I felt fine on the floor but I at least lifted my head for the ground. Kim gave me a solemn nod and guided Leah out the door. Olivia was stuck, not knowing what to do.
"Do you need help?" She offered.
I shook my head. "Go with them, Olivia. You don't need to be anywhere near here. This is between Jake and I. Please," I tried to sound polite by my nerves were coming back and Olivia's scared eyes weren't helping.
I struggled to get up. My mind was running a mile a minute and I didn't want to get started with planning when I wasn't sure where to start.
Olivia stood over me, nervous and scared. I shot her an annoyed look.
Her jaw tightened and her body inched towards the door. I waited for her to make the final move out the door.
"The wine is in the left covert by the fridge," she offered. I nodded, fully aware of it.
"Bye Mary!" Annie exclaimed, giving me one last hug. Kim gave me a shameful smile above the little girl. During the rush, she had forgotten Annie had taken refuge upstairs. "Feel better!" The little girl planted a wet kiss on my face before Kim lead her outside. Kim didn't say anything to me, just gave me one last hopeful look before closing the door behind them.
I let the saliva linger on my skin for a second before I brought up my sleeve to my cheek to wipe it off, only to smear it some more. It didn't bother me much, on contrary, it made me smile.
At least she gave me something to look forward to...
I hurried up the stairs to switch clothes. To give a good impression to the girls, I wore some expensive skinny jeans and a designer blazer but slowly I was being suffocated in the thick material. I shook my head. I shouldn't have bothered buying this crap. It's not like care anymore about first impressions seeing as I don't make personal connections. I'm much more comfortable in lazy sweats and an oversized tee-shirt. But I didn't pack some on this trip, unfortunately, so I settled with soft Victoria Secret gray shorts and a faded, over-washed purple loose, long sleeved throw on.
I brushed my teeth, cleansed my face, and brushed out my lazy curls until my hair fell in uneven waves that I pulled back into a messy, effortless bun. I then continued back down stairs where I stopped in the middle of the kitchen.
I was so unprepared and had no idea where to start. What the heck was I going to say? Would Jake even participate? What would he want to know? What would I want to know? Could I face the truth and the slap of the past? Was I prepared for this?
While all these doubts swirled in my head, I fetched a bottle of red wine. It was much better than dry wine. It gave a sour coating to your throat and ruined your taste buds while red wine had a rich taste that I much preferred. Of course, I could always settle with a shot, but I'd need something slow for tonight to last me. I made sure to pour a little bit longer than I should so the glass was half full. I took a slow, long slip to savor the undiluted taste of aged grapes and set the glass down onto the counter.
Would this whole "talking" thing work?
My mind slipped back to a few years ago to a different scene, in a different kitchen.
The own generic granite was faded and chipping but that didn't stop me from supporting myself on it. My hands needed to grab something before my legs collapsed on me. Everything hurt within me. My heart was heavy and sore, just like my stomach from all the sobbing I've done in the past hour. My head was the worst to experience pain, as the growing ache gnawed at everything it could. The back of my neck had a pitiful pinch from the recent fall on the hard wood floors.
Jake had yet to arrive but Billy let me in to wait which I appreciated. The cold was brutal and I didn't need that to be added on "the crappy factors of today" list I've made since that morning. Billy tried to check up on me a few times but the old man needed some sleep so I brought him upstairs to his bed, despite his hellish state. I will never forget the look he gave me. He felt so sorry for me and yearned to wipe my face of tears I refused to shed around his presence. He didn't need to worry about my issues. I wouldn't let him get mixed up in my mess.
Minutes after so, I found myself trembling in pain, leaning again the counter just to stand when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball. I locked my teeth together to hold back a cry of pain when I felt the inevitable snap happen in my back. I was given no choice but collapse on the weary tile floor. My breathing became haggard, trying to control my volume as the pain increased. I would not cry, I would not cry, I would not cry, I tried to convince myself but easier said than done.
I heard the door open and my heart leapt. Jake was here! I tried to turn my head but I found out painfully that I had to keep it still to halt to pain. His footsteps were loud and short, as I predicted, and suddenly stopped in front of the kitchen entry. His breath hitched before crying out my name.
"Shh," I hissed at him as he made his way to me. "You'll wake up Billy."
"What happened to you?" He didn't lower his voice like I had asked.
"What do you think?" I snarled. I didn't mean to be testy but the events of the day made me on edge. "Mom got angry with me and decided to shove me around a bit, nothing out of the ordinary."
He tried to touch but even as only his fingertips skimmed my arm, by luck he aimed at a fresh bruise and waves of pain diverted from that spot all the way up to my arm. I jerked back in response but it only enhanced the sensations. "Son of a bitch," I hissed hoarsely.
"I'm so sorry, Merris. I'm so sorry," he pleaded. His hands twitched to envelope me but glared at him to make the point that was the opposite of what I wanted.
"Where were you? I tried calling you." I tried to hold back tears but for some damned reason, they came up. Jake noticed and his eyes dropped to the ground in shame.
"I was gone scouting with Leah, I'm so sorry."
Rule #1 in lying: Don't involve other people, or mention any names, that could be investigated. I already knew this. I had called Leah in the first place. That's what best friends are for! And she answered right away. So no way she was scouting, nor was she with Jake. I bit my tongue to hold this back. I didn't want any more trouble so, screw it, and let him have the benefit of the doubt.
"At least you're here now," I gave in. I just needed someone to listen, and as upset and disappointed as I was at Jake, he was the only one here who understood and I wasn't going to drive that away.
"Yeah, I am. Do you want to go upstairs? Do you need-?"I had caught off Jake's ramblings.
"No, no, I'm fine. I'm just a little sore. I just, can I, well, I could really use a bed. My back needs some cushioning."
Jake was gentle enough with me when he lead me with a few steps to the ratty, old couch but it looks like heaven's clouds to me. I fell into it with ease. He stayed by my side after he laid a couple of layers of thin blankets over my frail body.
"What exactly happened, honey?"
"She didn't like me hanging out with you or Seth, apparently that makes me a slut, and we got into an argument about it. I told her to back off and just to spite me, she shoves me. I shove her back. She took it too far and pushes me down the stairs. How convenient they were nearby." I sourly spat. I can remember the cold cement and the anxiety I felt. I got paranoid about blood and assumed the thin ray of heat from the vent was actually the warmth of blood and the cold spots on my body were internal openings, letting all of my life-source out onto the gray, icy ground. It took me minutes until I regained my sanity back and got the hell out of there.
I didn't let Jake know about this. I didn't know why.
Now recalling that moment, I still didn't know why I didn't tell him. Maybe it's because the gore was too much for me to explain or maybe I didn't want anyone, even Jake, to think I was overdramatic.
He tried to hug me but I shrugged him off. I may have given him the benefit of the doubt but I was still hurt. I was hurt he wasn't there to protect me, to pick me up from the cold and warm me up. I was hurt that he lied to me. I was angry that I couldn't depend on him.
What I thought were a few stray tears escalated to full on sobs. My hands shook around the glass wear and my legs shook. I would've collapsed if it wasn't for the body behind me.
His hands wrapped around my narrow waist and held me close to his chest. His chin rested on shoulder and his mouth whispered sweet words to my ear. "I'll be alright, Merris. I'm right here. Don't cry."
My hand covered his that laid over my stomach. I smiled, despite my overload of emotions, and nuzzled closer to him. His warmth was very much appreciated.
"Thanks Seth," I murmured though my voice was a bit strained into a whisper. "How'd you get in without me knowing?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'm sly like that," he teased. The laugh I offered back was pathetic but he still tried to cheer me up anyways.
"I would've come earlier but Leah told me when I was half way here that it solely a girl's night and I don't want to put my gender in question." I really laughed at that one. "I got you roses while I waited."
I turned around to face him and saw the large bouquet behind his back. I bit my lip in excitement, while using my free arm to wipe my cheeks and dab my eyes. He pulled the beautiful display from his back to in between us. I gasped in surprise at its various colors. Yellows, Pinks, and whites, I didn't think that was possible.
"It's beautiful, Seth!" I took the flowers from his grasp and laid them onto the counter so they wouldn't get crushed in the massive hug I gave him. "Thank you so much!" We didn't let go for the longest time, just enjoying the peace of that moment. I was so amazed that Seth would do such a thing for me. He is, definitely, the most sincere and sweetest man alive.
