Hey guys, this is a little short. I broke McKirks friendship, which caused me enormous amounts of sadness. So, this is still sad. But it's a significant step towards fixing them! There's no Addy here, which makes me very uncomfortable. I'm in alternate universe, just by the way. And I'm assuming that in the alternate universe Jim didn't deal with Kodos.

Trigger warnings: Mild mentions of child abuse


The cold air stung as I made my way across campus. I worried about what I would say to Jim. He clearly wasn't going to be in any mood to talk, but he wouldn't have to. He just had to listen. The frozen grass crunched under my feet. He had no right to be mad. No right to blow up at me like that. It wasn't my fault he decided to be the biggest man-whore in starfleet. He did that all by himself. And if he wanted something more than sex, maybe he should try dinner or talking or anything other than sex as a first "date".

I scanned my starfleet I.D. to open the door to the astrology building. Up two flights of stairs, down a hall, take the first right and the next left, nod to the janitor who gestures to the door in front of me. I knock, not wanting to just barge in. I heard faint footsteps before the door opened to reveal a red eyed cadet who looked much younger in the harsh fluorescent lighting than in a dark bar.

"Can I come in?" I asked softly. After a beat he nodded and stepped back to let me by.

"I didn't mean to break you two up. And she isn't heartless enough to lead you on just to mess with you or even to get to me. She really liked you." I said, standing awkwardly in the middle of the abandoned classroom.

"Clearly not as much as she likes you." He said quietly.

"If you really cared about her, if you really wanted to make a go of an actual relationship, why did you keep bringing other girls back to the dorm?" I asked tentatively. He waited a long time before answering.

"If I suddenly change everything for this girl who may or may not just be with me for the sex… I'm not overly fond of everyone looking at me like I'm some pathetic lovesick puppy. I don't need people's pity." He said, harshness creeping back into his voice.

"You could've just let people assume you were still sleeping around, you didn't have to actually do anything. Who would've known?"

"You." He answered while looking anywhere but at me.

"Me? So what? I know this might surprise you, but I'm not just following around after you because of how much tail you get. I thought I was your friend, not just part of your goddam posse." I huffed.

"We are friends!" He exclaimed and for the first time during the conversation looked me in the eye. "I just… I don't know." He trailed off and looked down at his feet again.

"Didn't want to seem weak? Y'know, for a certifiable genius you can be a real dumbass sometimes. Bringing home a different girl every night doesn't make you strong." I said. He kept his eyes focused on the ground.

"I'm not looking for strong…" He admitted quietly.

"No one here is lookin' to hurt you, Jim." I lowered my voice.

"No one ever says they are." His voice broke a little. I waited until he unclenched his jaw before asking:

"Your stepdad?" His jaw clenched again.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but it might help." I offered. I sat down on one of the old couches. He sat on the beat up loveseat, spread out and taking up the whole damn thing. We both just sat for an indeterminable time.

"When my mom introduced him to Sam and I, we were pretty excited. He talked about taking us to play baseball and teaching us to fish, all the sorts of things that we had been missing out on. And I had never seen my mom happier, which… isn't saying much. But still. Now she wouldn't have to turn down every mission starfleet had for her and wouldn't blame us for being planet bound." He started playing with his fingernails and went silent for a while.

"Once she left though, things… changed. Sam and I came home late from school one day because we missed the transport…" Tears welled in his eyes and he pulled at the hem of his sleeve.

"It's okay, Jim. He can't get you anymore. You're safe." I tried to reassure him.

"I know, I… I don't want to talk about it anymore." He said.

"Alright." I said. I stood up and walked towards my bag by the door. Stopping at the loveseat, I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Beating up kids isn't strength, either. But this is the strongest I've ever seen you." I said before going to get my bag.

"Hey, you took transporter theory last semester, right?" I called over my shoulder. Picking up my bag, I walked back to the couches.

"What? Oh, uh yeah. Doctor Mullen, yeah?" He answered.

"Yeah, yeah. Think you could help me out with this assignment?" I asked as I lifted my textbook. He quickly grabbed it out of my hand, seemingly thankful to have something else to focus on. We ended up getting pizza and crashing there that night.


As I wrote this, I got a lot of ideas for the next installment of this. Kirk will eventually open up about his past, but not to Bones ;) You'll see. The next chapter SHOULD be pretty fluffy, but I have incredibly little control over this story. The next chapter will be whatever the next chapter wants to be. PLEASE review! I'll love you forever! :D