DISCLAIMER: Stephanie Meyer is the 'mayor' of Forks, WA and the Queen of Twilight, I am not even on their polling list. I am broke.
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He brushed my lips with his ever so slightly the first time, and pulled back to gauge my response. I did respond, with a slight pucker of my lips to his. He then squinted his eyes to look at me clearly, smiled warmly, and repeated the first kiss (kiss?).
I had this odd sensation that I was floating by then. I didn't know what to do with my body parts-hands, arms, eyes…He must have intuitively known this as he took my hands and wrapped them around his neck. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me in a little bit closer to him.
Another kiss was about to happen, when the waitress cleared her throat to announce her presence. I turned back and was thankful for the lack of lighting, so that no one would see the 26 shades of red my face must have been.
She placed the wine glasses on the table. She was staring at me incredulously, as if to ask who are you and why are you with him? Or aren't you a bit old for him? And, oh yeah, who are you?
I looked down at the glass and put my right hand on the stem, like I was about to lift it to my mouth. I couldn't help but giggle, mostly to myself.
He thanked her and resumed his previous activity, by first taking the wine goblet out of my hand. His hands took mine and again placed them right back to where they were, around his neck.
The kiss that followed was actually a combination of short and longer, lingering ones.
The time was beginning to become irrelevant as I was getting a little bit used to the way his lips met mine and I liked it. It was so full of meaning, like we'd been together forever.
Corresponding pieces to the same puzzle. How corny was that? Getting a wee bit ahead of things, wasn't I?
I was conscious of the song that was then playing and it was the same one, by Linkin Park, which had been playing at the Starbucks the day our paths had first crossed.
"Hey, isn't that the same song that was playing the other day at the Starbucks when I so rudely stole your table?" he gently pulled away, and took a breath.
He remembered? Did he have to stop? But we were in a public place.
"Would you like to dance?" he whispered into my ear again. Shivers. Again. He didn't wait for my reply, as he stood up and took me by my hand and led me to the dancing area.
It was a slow tempo song, again, so he placed my arms around his neck, again. I was directly facing him, our bodies touching each other. He was smiling.
I think I was just a little bit too stunned and a lot too nervous to relax, being out in the open in the midst of other people.
What was happening?
He brought his lips to mine, again, while weaving his hands into my hair, this time lingering with more pressure than before. It was pretty damned nice.
This was my dream and it didn't have to ever end, did it? How was I managing to dance in time to the music and be kissed by this gorgeous man? Was I dancing? I think so. Not so sure, the more I thought about it. He was definitely moving, so I must have been too, because my body was still attached to his.
I needed to breathe so I pulled away. It took everything I had. He was like a strong magnet and I was the metal trying to resist with not much luck.
I tried to disengage my eyes from his, to no avail. His eyes were locked on mine, and loaded. I'd never been mesmerized like that before and it was thrilling.
The song, our song, was way too short. Couldn't they play it again? And again? And again?
We stayed standing while waiting for the next one to begin.
He leaned to whisper in my ear, "You are so cute and your eyes sparkle with the lights in this room. Did you know they change color?" I had been told that before, yes.
"When was the last time you had your eyes checked? They must be really blurry, not to notice you're dancing with practically a senior citizen. You should cut your losses and let me go before any more people, and maybe important people, notice who you are."
He looked hurt for an instant. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with my eyesight." Uh-oh. He was unequivocally pisssed. "It's even better than 20/20. I can see through all the surface beauty and I think I see what's on the inside. And I'm liking the view from here. Now tell me how you feel?"
What did he mean by that? The words were not registering in my brain. I've been berating myself for so long that I couldn't accept anything the least bit positive about myself.
"Sorry, I just can't imagine what you're seeing. I don't want you to regret this night, so I think you should re-think your plans. I won't be hurt." I lied. The biggest lie I'd ever told.
I had to suck it up to save him from himself. I could do that and suffer later, in private, by myself. Alone.
"Would you please stop saying stuff like that! Fuck! I know exactly what I'm doing and I am sure that nobody would think the stupid things you think they're thinking. And you've just avoided answering my question—how do you feel—about me?"
He didn't let his gaze release mine for an instant, even though I wanted to look away. Okay. I would answer him. Nothing to lose right now, right?
"Well, you are mesmerizing. You seem to be genuine and kind-hearted. Which is why I think you probably wouldn't hurt my feelings by telling me the truth." I couldn't help how I felt. He might as well know how I think right from the start. The start…of what?
"Ok, stop. You keep doing that! You're ruining this moment. I'm going to give you one more chance to change the direction this has started to wander, ok? Please. I'd like for this not to be over just yet."
I bit my lip, with my head finally managing to drop down. But he lifted it up again and locked me in his starry eyes. Dreamy. He slowly, so slowly, brought his face toward mine again and pressed his lips to my, all too willing, trembling lips. Stronger. And longer. And deeper. I was definitely having an out of body experience.
When the music stopped he led me back to our table, still holding my hand. He looked at my hand intertwined with his fingers - his doing, not mine - and brought it up to his mouth and kissed it gently. Then he looked up from there at me and smiled shyly. I was too dumbstruck to say or do anything.
After we had finished the wine, he took out his phone and asked Jasper to come pick us up.
Two minutes. Two minutes left to enjoy this bliss. Then back to real life for me.
Was the letdown really worth it? Of course. At least I'd have really, really nice memories to last me a lifetime, although I couldn't tell anybody. Nor would anyone in their right mind believe me if I did.
He stood up and helped me by pulling my elbow, then he wrapped his right arm around my shoulders and we walked out of the club. There were a lot more people outside now and I thought I heard a few shrieks of recognition as we hurried from the entrance to the waiting car, Jasper holding the door open for us.
Edward motioned for me to go in first and I quickly slid over to make room for him. I noticed flashes of light before the door was slammed shut. I peered out through the back window and saw a swarm of females, with their cell phones in hand, snapping pictures of our car as it sped off. He was laughing, slightly embarrassed.
"Wow. Is that what you face in your real life?" I was now extremely curious. How could he manage to stay so grounded amidst all of that chaos? He just shrugged his shoulders and leaned his head back. He turned his head toward me and gave me the most apologetic smile.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see that so soon. It's kind of ridiculous. They don't even know me. I could be the biggest jerk and they'd still be there. I don't get it."
Of course I had seen this stuff on TV, but seeing it first-hand was scary. I now felt protective of him and was upset that he had to go through this. He noticed the look on my face and touched my cheek with his cool hand. I put my hand on top of his and our eyes locked. He moved his hand behind my head and pulled me close enough for our lips to meet.
He was reaching…for some kind of normal, I think. I wanted to give it to him. I needed him to feel safe. He was safe with me.
I didn't think we were aware of anything else for the duration of the car ride.
His cell phone went off. Damn. He reluctantly disengaged and took it out of his shirt pocket. He grabbed my hand with his other hand, squeezing it tightly. It thankfully was a short conversation.
"I have to leave tomorrow. My plane leaves at 2:30 in the afternoon." He looked away, not wanting to show his emotions. He finally looked at me sullenly.
It was over. The car ride was over. Everything was over.
We were silent, and sat for some while in the drive of my house. Then he got started to slide over and open the door. He reached for my arm to lead me out of the car and out of his life.
I wasn't meant for casual flings. Why did I have to have a heart that clung onto anybody that showed the slightest bit of interest? I wish I could just have a carefree attitude like most of the people seemed to.
"Oh, I see. Where do you go from here?" I tried to sound unaffected. But I was so the opposite of that. Totally and completely affected by him. My insides ached already, knowing what pain was coming after he left. I'd have nothing to make it real again.
"I'm going to Vancouver first. Have you ever been there?" He was trying to make small talk? Ok, let's play that game, then.
"Yes I have been there. It's really nice. Lots of mountains. The ocean is there, too. It rains a lot." He knew that because they'd made a movie there. Ok, my travelogue was unnecessary. I felt stupid.
"Do you want to go with me?" he surprised me. What?
"I'm not sure...," into the negativity again…he was going to get really upset. So I tried to think of the right answer and closed my eyes…
?
?
Should she go? Why did he ask her? Her! Her?
Everyone…attention please…the DRILL! GO!
