Greg had already left when Grissom returned from settling Sara in bed. He rubbed his hand across his temples and sighed. He was fairly sure that Greg wouldn't say anything but he couldn't be sure, and right now, the potential repercussions of outing his and Saras relationship was not something he wanted to consider and she certainly couldn't handle it. He would have to speak to him, make sure that what he had seen that morning remained between them and nobody else. Feeling the beginnings of a migraine setting in Grissom decided to join Sara in bed where they both slept, undisturbed for most of the day. It was Sara, who woke first, rolling over to face Grissom, pulling herself closer to him. He woke moments later to the feel of her warm breath on his neck.
"Gill." She whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you."
"I'm glad you did." He smiled, wrapping his arm over her body and pulling her closer to him still, kissing her tenderly on the lips. She nestled her face into his neck as he slowly ran his fingers though her hair, bringing his hand down to rest on her waist.
"Let me stay home tonight." He whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I want to be with you." Sara didn't reply as the warmth of his embrace had sent her drifting off to sleep again. So they just lay there silently, closer than they had really been in weeks.
"You're still here." She said sleepily, waking to find Grissom lying next to her, his hands wrapped around one of hers.
"It would appear so." He replied, pursing his lips in a small smile.
She glanced at the clock and noticing the time said, "Shouldn't you be at work?"
"No. I called and told them I couldn't make it in tonight. Something came up."
"Oh it did, did it?" She smiled, leaning in to kiss him. When she pulled away she rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, speaking slowly. "I don't want you to worry about me. I know I haven't been myself lately but I just need some time." Her fingers were tracing a figure of eight on his stomach. "I just have stuff I need to figure out…" Her voice trailed off.
"You want to tell me what that stuff is? Maybe I can help." She sat up and looked down at him, her dark eyes glistening with the formation of tears. He pushed himself up too so their faces were just inches apart. She leaned into him, pressing her lips to his and parting her lips so as to deepen the kiss but he pulled away.
"Sara…" She looked down and shook her head.
"I'm sorry." He frowned and took hold of her hands.
"I just want you to talk to me. You're upset and I don't want you to…"
"It's ok." She said, looking up at him now. "I understand."
"I know I've hurt you in the past Sara…"
"Gill." He ignored her and continued to speak.
"But you have to believe me that I will never…"
"Gill"
"Hurt you…"
"Gill stop." She took his face in her hands silencing him and making him sigh. "I know. I know you would never hurt me and I'm sorry if anything I have said over these past few days has made you think otherwise. I love you Gill, I know I don't say it to you often but I do."
"I love you too."
"I know." She smiled, taking hold of his hands again. "I know."
"Then let me help you." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, she looked at Girssom, really looked at him. She realised at that moment that this was hurting him as much as it was hurting her and she couldn't bare it. It had to stop.
"I'm so tired of it Gill, feeling like this. I hate it that I can't forget my past. When it only came back to me in my dreams it didn't seem to matter but now… I don't want to be like them Gill, please don't ever let me become like them." Her voice was beginning to break.
"I wont. Never." He squeezed her hands, encouraging her to continue.
"When I first went into foster care, they would take me to see my mother in the institution. I think they thought it would be good for her to see me; they wanted to know how she reacted to me. And then… they locked her away like she was the one in the wrong. I know its wrong to kill people Gill but she was protecting herself… protecting me. Sometimes I think she did the right thing." She looked away from him, trying to compose herself. "It was all my fault really. If I had stopped him from hurting me…"
"Sara you were a child. It was not your fault. Don't ever blame yourself." He found it hard to believe what he was hearing, that she was blaming herself for the death of her father and her mothers jail sentence was more than her had expected.
"I know that deep down, I do but being back in that place… it just made me feel… crazy. The other foster kids used to tell me I must be mad. I mean how could I not be when my mother was so unstable as to kill my father? I guess after a while I started to believe them."
"Do you still believe them now?"
"I don't know." She shrugged. "I honestly don't know anymore." She ran both her hands through her hair, taking a slow, shaky breath. "I'm just so tired of it all. This isn't me Gill, this pathetic emotional wreck. It just isn't me and I don't want to feel like this anymore." She felt herself crumbling, unable to hold back the tears any longer. "For the first time in my life I have a person who loves me and who I love back. I have a real chance of being happy but I feel like something is stopping me. I don't want to be stopped Gill! I don't want to be scared to love you." He took her in his arms and let her cry. "I'm sorry." She gasped between the tears.
"Shh, don't be sorry."
"I don't want to cry anymore." But she was powerless to stop it.
The sudden rush of emotion had proved too much for Saras already exhausted body and she had fallen asleep in his arms. He had laid her down but did not break his contact with her, like his holding her could protect her from her own doubts and fears. The shrill ringing of his mobile phone beside the bed drew him back to reality as he hurriedly reached to answer it, desperate that the sound would not wake her.
"Grissom." He said, his voice hushed as he crept from the room to continue the conversation.
"It better had have been some emergency Grissom. The lab is over run, you call in one of your CSI early from his vacation time then don't turn up yourself!" It was Ecklie and he did not sound amused.
"It was." He said calmly.
"What was?" The other mans tone much harsher.
"An emergency."
"Well is the crisis over or will you be taking more time off?" Asked Ecklie, a hint of sarcasm creeping into his voice.
"I'm not sure." He replied honestly. "I need the rest of tonight though."
"Fine. You do realise Gill that if you had better control over your team it wouldn't have come to this. I tried to tell you before that Sara…"
"Leave her out of this Conrad. Her being sick…"
"Overworked." He corrected. "You let her push herself too hard. Its your job to take responsibility for the hours your team work and you sat back and let her work to the point of collapse." Grissom didn't hear the rest of his ranting as his attentions turned to the mumbling coming for the other side of the door.
"Look Conrad can we discuss this later? I have to go." He didn't wait for an answer before hanging up and returning to Sara who was tossing in the bed looking distressed and panicked.
"Hey Sara it's ok. I'm here." He ran his hand over her forehead to try and calm her but did not succeed. "Sara honey, it's just a nightmare. Come on, wake up sweetheart." He took a little more encouragement before Sara finally opened her eyes, bolting upright and falling into his waiting arms. "Shh, it's ok. I'm here, I'm right here." Her rapid breathing soon began to slow and she pulled her head from Grissoms shoulder to speak.
"Gill I… thank you." She rested her head against him again, wanting to be close to him, wanting him to hold her and make her feel safe while she slept.
Greg had a proposal for Grissom, which he offered to him on his return to work the following night.
"It's a nice idea Greg but we don't want people to know about our relationship and they may be more than a little suspicious if…"
"I know. That's why we are going to do it at my place not yours." Grissom frowned as he considered the idea. "So…" So Greg, his patients wearing thin.
"Ok. Ok I think she'll really appreciate it. Thank you Greg."
"Sara?" He walked into the room to find her sat on the bed, a book in her hand. She smiled when she saw him, glad to see him home. "How are you feeling?"
"Ok actually. How about you? Did Ecklie say anything to you?"
"Not really." He took hold of her hands and pulled her to her feet. "Come on," He said. "How about breakfast?"
"I think I could manage that." She said, smiling at the odd expression on his face.
"Well why don't you take a quick shower and we can go and have breakfast out for a change?"
"I'd like that."
"So where are we going?" She questioned when they had been driving for a while.
"No where special." He said cryptically.
"You know you've never been a very good liar Gill." She smirked, receiving no response as Grissom concentrated on the road ahead. He pulled into the car park of a small apartment block, a smile spreading over his face as he did so.
"Isn't this Gregs place?" She asked.
"Come with me." He took her hand and led her up to the second floor, only letting go of her hand when he heard the footsteps of their host coming to answer his knock at the door.
"Sara!" Greg flung his arms around his friend barely giving her time to react before he led her into his living room, smiling at her shocked expression as she saw the rest of the team seated there. They all rose to their feet, taking it in turns to hug her and express their pleasure at seeing her. She barely said a word, taken back by this gesture of kindness. Nick took her hand and led her to the empty space on the sofa next to him.
"Don't look so shocked." He smiled.
"But I… why would you…"
"Because we love you Sara. Grego here said you were feeling a bit down and figured this might help cheer you up."
"Well it has." She said. "Thank you. All of you." She felt an unexpected tear roll down her cheek.
"Hey what's with the tears?" Nick said gently.
"Nothing." She laughed. "They're happy tears."
Grissom stood, quietly watching as the scene unfolded before him. His team, his friends, all coming together for the sake of the woman he loved. He placed a hand on Gregs arm as he brushed pasted him on the way to the kitchen.
"Thank you. She needed this." Greg smiled and gave a silent nod, the expression on Saras face being the only thanks he really needed.
"Grissom." Catherines soft voice broke his train of thought. "You joining us?"
When breakfast was over Grissom drove Sara back to their town house. "Thank you." She said as they pulled out onto the road.
"It was all Greg." He admitted. She smiled and closed her eyes.
"I love you Gill." She whispered. "I don't even feel scared anymore." He smiled and glanced over to her, seeing she was tired after the mornings' excitement. "I'm glad. Now sleep. I'm right here."
THE END
Sorry it took a while to get up the last chapter. Hope you liked it anyway.
Thank you again for all the reviews. x
