I'm so so so so sorry this took me so freakin' long! I don't know if people still want me to go on with this, if you do I will but if you don't well, tell me...or don't. Thanks btw if you're reading, I love you so much, thanks thanks and I'm sorry and I'll be constant I promiiiise. Thank you for being amazing.

Much love.

Symptoms Of You

I'll be with you forever to get you through the day and make every thing ok.

Alex cried all night long.

Mitchie was pretty sure, at some point, she cried in her sleep too. She didn't know if it was possible but it might have been, after all she hadn't ever cared for a guy that much. She hadn't ever cared for a guy. Period. She described the situations over a thousand times, with a thousand different adjectives, and the fact that she had received a creepy text message from Shane at four a.m, she hadn't mentioned that to Alex, wasn't any settling either. So as she watched Alex walking slowly towards her class, Mitchie bit her lip and turned into her advanced Literature class, expectant to see Shane but as soon as she entered she spotted his seat.

Empty.

Something was up with those Gray boys.

---

Baby you can drive my car, yes I'm gonna be a star...

"Alex aren't you going to pick that up?"

"That's Nate ring tone."

She simply answered and turned away to watch the preppy cool kids bite each others heads off while they counted the calories on their salads. The phone stopped ringing and five seconds later it was ringing again. Mitchie bit her lip and as soon as Alex got up and muttered something along the lines of going to the bathroom she picked Alex's shiny blackberry and answered the called. In the screen the name 'Hotshot :)' flashed. Mitchie made a mental note to never let Alex live that down, after this whole Gray situation was solved.

"Yeah?"

"Alex? This is Shane..." His voice sounded full of...was that pain? He sounded worried, definitely. Mitchie bit her lip and answered.

"No Shane, this is Mitchie. Alex is in the bathroom. Why are you calling from Nate's cellphone? She isn't gonna pick up, apparently they had a fight or something..." But her rambling was interrupted by a sob. Shane was sobbing, Mitchie felt a lump forming inside her throat and the tears threatening to spill, why was he crying? Why was he crying? Why couldn't she speak all of a sudden? A weak what's wrong was all she could muster up before he talked again. His voice sounded broken and tired now.

"Mitchie I would never ask you to this, but...can you please skip school and come over to the hospital? There's been a problem and I just...I need you."

"I'll be there in ten. Do you want me to bring..."

"No don't....just come, only you. Please."

Mitchie dropped Alex cellphone inside her bag and ran towards the exit. She could explain later, right now Shane was somewhere in that hospital, crying for some reason and she just needed to hold him. She needed to hold him and tell him that whatever it was that it was gonna be okay, she had to know what was wrong to fix it and to stop Shane, her Shane, from hurting. So she ran, she ran like it didn't matter, like it didn't hurt, like she didn't need to breath, she ran twenty blocks to the hospital and when she got there she was sure she looked like a sick person. Scared that the nurses or doctors might notice her she threw herself on the front desk and start rambling non stop about who she needed to see.

"Gray I need...Shane...Gray...where is he? Please I have to..."

"Honey, honey!" The nurse said rapidly "Deep breaths, please calm down, I'm searching for him okay...okay. There's no Shane Gray here, Nathaniel Gray was checked in last night though. Maybe they're related?" The nurse grabbed her by the arm and guided her to the couch on the waiting room. "I'm gonna go get you a glass of water darling. Deep breaths alright?"

"Wait! Wait!" She exclaimed and grabbed the nurse's arm "Where's Nate? I need to know...I have to find his brother..."

"I'm sorry baby girl but I can't tell you that if you're not directly related to him, his parents have asked for extreme discretion. Now wait here, I'll be right back." The woman finally got up and left.

Mitchie was desperate, she grabbed her cellphone from her bag and with shaky hands she started typing a text. But before she could finish she was interrupted by a familiar voice, someone had sat besides her and she hadn't even noticed. As soon as he opened his mouth she dropped her phone, her bag and threw herself into his arms, burying her face in his neck and took a deep breath. It smelled like aftershave and his cologne. He was whole. He was safe. He was alright. Her Shane was fine, and he was holding her in his arms and crying in her shoulder and whispering words she couldn't really understand.

She sat down quickly on the other side of the couch and let him put his head on her lap and as she ran her fingers gently through his hair she told him gently that every little was going to be alright. That she was here to make it better now. She sang a couple of songs, mumbled a couple of tunes and recite a couple of poems until he finally stopped crying, lifted his head bravely and looked her in the eye. He looked beautiful, but he looked so tired, so worried, so upset, so...broken.

She didn't speak. She didn't want to force it out of him, she wanted him to trust her. And if he wasn't ready, she could wait. After all she loved him.

She loved him.

"Nate...he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes." He looked down, tears running down his red cheeks again "He wasn't feeling well yesterday and we took him here and...he just...he passed out and I...he could've died." He closed his eyes for a moment and then he opened them again. "He lost a lot of weight over the last six months, he is weak and he just has a bunch of cables connected to him and Mitchie I'm so scared, he is my baby brother, and I can't bear if he....He could've died."

He broke down again and pressed his face against her neck, holding onto her for dear life, crying his little heart out, and she held him like she was the only thing she had left. Because she loved him. With all her heart, beyond romanticism she loved him. She wanted more than anything for him to be fine.

"Shane's gonna be alright. Don't worry. Nate's a fighter he'll get through this. Don't worry baby..."she hushed his sobs again and then started singing. "don't worry about a thing, 'cause every little thing is gonna be alright..."

Shane fell asleep on her lap.

---

If holding Shane the whole afternoon while he cried his eyes out had been torture, going back home to find Alex waiting for an explanation was even worst. She knew she had to tell her, she knew she was expecting something from her. She had to tell her. She had to. This was Alex. The same girl who had punch the asshat who stood her up and that had stood up for her every single time, the girl that was like her sister.

"Just tell me." Alex finally spoke up. "Connie said you were at the hospital with Shane. She said one of his brothers was there, and I saw Jason on the store this afternoon, so unless Mr. Gray has a bastard, I'm pretty sure that I know who's lying on a hospital bed right now." Alex eyes were filled with tears all of a sudden. "Just tell me."

"Nate...he has diabetes. Type 1." Mitchie swallowed and went on. "He is unconscious right now...but the doctors say he is going to wake up soon, it's just the drugs and the treatmeants to determine stuff and..." Alex mutter oh my god and covered her mouth to stop the sob that was coming. "Lexie, Shane is down stairs. He is eating something and then we're going back to the hospital, so maybe you want to go? He is going to take a shower and change, maybe you should do the same. Use my clothes. I'm going to take a quick shower and change too and I'm going to be over there the whole weekend. You're not alone Alex. I'm with you. So...what do you say?"

"I'm sorry I can't. I can't....do this right now." She got up and grabbed her bag. "Let me know if anything happens though..."

"Alex you can't..."

"Mitchie, please. Try to understand me. Just...for a minute please try." Alex muttered without looking at her. "I can't deal with seeing him right now. Connected to all those machines, and I just can't...if anything..." she took a deep breath "I just want to remember him as that curly little dimple-ish boy who brought me flowers on occasions and used the cheesiest pick up lines ever. I don't want to remember him smelling like medicine and...What if..."

"Alex you can't be like that. He is..."

"He is going to be fine. I know. I know the whole paragraph. The whole book. They said the same thing about my dad but he is not around, is he?" Alex took a deep breath and turned around to open the door. "Mitchie I was always brave...brave for you, for my mom and Justin and Max, brave because that's all I knew. Nate taught me that I didn't always have to. He taught me it was okay to be afraid and to be lonely and to make mistakes. He taught me to be better, he taught me that I had to be brave and courageous to be afraid." She pressed her lip tightly together and turned to look at Mitchie one last time.

"And I love him."

And she walked out.