March 10,2011

Sorry if this chapter is not up to par with the rest. It has been hard to get my voices to back track and re write stuff that was written a long time ago. I know that this chapter is going to leave you with a lot of questions but hopefully Dimitri will figure it out soon.


Chapter 8: Searching for Clues.

As the weekend wore on my curiosity about Rosemarie, and her ties to Annemarie and Joshua grew. Eventually late Sunday evening I decided to indulge my curiosity. The records room in the administration building was open to all teachers and guardians. It held the personal files of the staff as well as students. It was well passed noon and the sun was high but it still didn't take the chill out of the November air. Wrapping my duster around me tighter and mentally thanking Tasha for the scarf she packed for me, I walked into the admin building as if I was here for official reasons; and not just to satisfy my curiosity

First I looked for the file of Hathaway, Rosemarie. It was thick as I remembered it to be. It had been subdivided by year. I opened it to a familiar spot; the year I received her file for the purpose of finding her and Lissa. The picture of a fifteen year old runaway stared back at me. It was striking how much this picture resembles my ladybug and yet there were still so many differences. There was a certain familiarity in the contrasting features but I couldn't place where I knew them. I flipped a few pages and found a picture of her taken a few days after I caught them. My God she was beautiful. I wanted to reach back to the past and hold her in my arms.

With a sigh I moved forward to the months we dated and after. My notes on her progress were there but there was no mention of our special training days or anything that could be indicative of our relationship. Not once was there any indication that she was ever caught with another man. I looked through each and every page for the next two years and not once was it mentioned that she had ever had a child.

There were some incident reports regarding each of her Molnija marks, the last one occurring just over two years ago. I was shocked to see that she had earned 16 in all. In the last 7 years I have only had to fight one. Other than that I realized that a lot was missing from the last half of her file. That must be what is kept in the Queen's personal files.

Next I went to the student files and looked up Hathaway, Joshua Harrison. His file was not as convoluted as the one I had been given for Annemarie but it lacked information. His birth certificate was missing. The profile form listed Rose as his mother and it mentioned two sisters but not the names and ages.

This was frustrating. I didn't have enough information to confirm or deny whether or not Joshua was the child of Rosemarie. I saw nothing in him that even hinted of her and she didn't offer any explanation for why he was named Hathaway. He looks a bit like Janine, perhaps she was his mother and instead of dumping him on the academy the way she had Rose; she sent him to live with Rose. But if Rose is his sister then why would the profile list her as his mother. I went to the computer at the other end of the room.

Personal files were kept in hardcopy and in the court data base. I entered my clearance code. I have a level four guardian clearance but that should be enough to access Janine's file.

Hathaway, Janine Iris: Born January 7 1972.
Graduated from: St Columban's Academy, Ireland 1991
1991 Assigned to David Amaducci
1992 Assigned to Gregorio Zleski.
2010 Assigned to an undisclosed Royal

Retired in 2014

Children: Rosemarie Hathaway Born April 20, 1992
Abigail Hathaway Born September 29, 2014
Loren Hathaway Born July, 1 2015

Marks

1. Promise
15. Molnija
3. Zvezda

1. Paca
19. Grian
23. Gealach

Guardian Hathaway has led an exemplary career and is currently working privately with Rosemarie and Emma Hathaway on a classified project.

Special Notes:

Janine Hathaway has been decorated with the distinction of a First level Guardian for protecting her charge and saving the life of a pregnant guardian on February 24, 2011. In the process Guardian Hathaway was forced to stake her brother Jeremy Hathaway and her young cousin Justin Harrison; both men had been turned Strigoi and were in the process of attacking the pregnant guardian. She has earned My complete trust.
Queen Tatiana Ivashkov.

Wow my heart goes out to Janine. I can't imagine what it would be like for me to have to kill one of my cousins let alone one of my sisters. I have no clue what the last three listings on the Marks were. I don't recognize the language and I have never known of any marks other than the first three. As fascinating as her file is I could find nothing indicating how Annemarie and Joshua are related to Rose. I suspected that Annemarie was her sister but that has been shown false unless they are related by father rather than mother. Nowhere in Janine's file does it mention who the father of her children are. Rumor has it she married Rose's father and is working freelance guarding the mobster Zmay.

I know it is wrong of me to want to know given that I am the one who walked away. I could not help the curiosity. I accepted that Josh must be Rosemarie's son but who is his father and why is he not here with her? I wonder if she would accept that I want to help her with the kids; all of them.

After I left the room I felt ashamed of myself. Even if those files are public record I violated not just Rosemarie's privacy but that of her mother and her son as well. When I got back to my room I called home. Jonathan's voice answered.

"Tasha Ozera's residence, how may I help you?"
"Um Jonathan, is Tasha, there?"
"Oh, sorry man, she's out with Connor."
"Ok, well tell her I called and tell Little Man that I love him and miss him."
"No problem. He misses you too. In fact he can't stop talking about visiting his Daddy for Christmas."
"I can't wait to see him ether. Guess I will see you then too."

We said good bye and hung up. I got ready for bed and just as I was settling in for the night my phone rang. I answered it without even looking at the caller ID, thinking it was Tasha.

"Hello T…." I got cut off by a very pissed off old lady. She spoke to me in English but her heavy Russian accent laced every syllable.
"I saw what you did Dimka and I am very ashamed of you. How dare you do that! I know you don't believe in my abilities but I must tell you that you are on the precipice of learning that there is a whole world beyond what you KNOW. There is a chance for you to regain what you have lost. If you allow yourself to see beyond the black and white you will see the truth. When you were very little you had the gift too, but you let it go, find it."

And then she hung up leaving me feeling shocked and confused. Yeva almost never calls me. The last time she called me was when I made the decision to leave Roza. When Tasha and I have brought Connor to visit my family she is polite to Tasha and loving to Connor but she has never let me forget that I made the biggest mistake of my life by leaving.

The first time we visited I half expected her to reject Connor; she didn't. Instead she told me that even though he is not biologically mine she knows he is mine by love. Well her exact words were a bit more cryptic as always. "Love has made you a father. Your child is waiting for your love. Love can also make a child yours. You have made this child yours by your love."

I fell asleep that night wishing that Rose would allow me the chance to love her again. I know I could accept her children as mine. Part of me already does. I know I have a family with Conner and Tasha, even with her marrying Jonathan. But my heart longs to be with Roza; it has since the moment I chose to leave.

~~~o*o~~~

I heard the jet over head as I headed off to my morning workout. Rosemarie and the children must be back. The academy had felt lonely without them. I raced through my morning workout eager to get to my meeting with Rose. I dressed quickly and ran to the dining hall on my way to see her.

I leaned against the wall holding the tray hoping she will like my surprise. I felt her, even before she turned the corner. Oh how I had missed this all these years, it made me happy to know that some of our old connection still exists.

She rounded the corner and she took my breath away. This morning she wore a light gray cowl neck sweater, a long dark gray wrap around skirt and soft gray suede boots. She wore her moonstone necklace so that it lay on the hollow of her neck which was mostly covered by the loose folds of the sweater. She wore a belt made of broad flat silver links. Over it all she wore a knitted duster.

The way she dresses now is so different than how she did when she was younger. As a student she dressed in a much more provocative way. She didn't dress slutty, well not always, but she dressed to attract attention to her beautiful body. Now the best way to describe her style was classy. There is no way of hiding her beautiful figure which has only improved over time. She is much more conservative now. I have noticed that she always wears cloths that cover her arms and often her legs too. The collars of her tops almost always cover her neck or else she wears a scarf.

Her hair is much longer now than it was before; in fact it is so long that her thick braid wraps from the back of her head around her shoulder and down just past her navel. If her braid is that long I could only imagine how long it is when it is loose.

"You're early, Belikov." She eyed the sack and disposable mugs on the tray as she opened her office door.

"Yes, well I thought it would be nice to share breakfast with you if you don't mind." I followed her in and proceeded to set the food out for each of us, while she took off her duster and hung it with her purse on the pegs near the door.

She looked a bit uncomfortable when she turned to see two chocolate doughnuts and a hot chocolate on her desk.

"Um thank you, I don't usually indulge in those things anymore but since you took the trouble."

She sat down and tore off a bite of doughnut. Closing her eyes she brought it to her mouth and chewed it thoughtfully. She then took a sip of the hot chocolate.

"Mm this didn't come from the machine in the dining hall did it?"

"Nope." I smiled. "I talked them into making it myself. I know no machine could make it the way you like it; twice the cocoa mix and not quite as hot."

She nodded and looked at me for a moment with her mask down. She had a look of longing, the same longing I had; it was a longing for the past and what could have been. Then betrayal, loneliness and acceptance crossed her face before her mask slid back into place.

"Well Guardian Belikov, I have to say that you are doing a remarkable job of teaching Annemarie to be patient and to control her temper. I am afraid that due to her tragic birth and well unique childhood she has grown up quite spoiled. She didn't learn to take turns and share with other children because until recently she never had too. Don't get me wrong she is a loving, generous and caring child by nature but when she gets it in her head that something is hers and she wants it all her good traits go out the window and she throws tantrums worse than I am sure ether of her parents ever did. But I guess that given that she is the child of her parents she should have the best and the worst of their traits."

Again she dropped her mask and for a moment she had that look that pleaded with me. If I knew what she was asking of me I would give it to her in a heartbeat. Before I could say anything her mask was back up and she continued.

"As I have said you have done a remarkable job. You would have been proud of her behavior. All during our time at court she was polite and patient and she waited her turn. Queen Tatiana asked that I convey her praise for your good work."

"Well thank you and please convey my thanks to her as well." She nodded.

"As for this outing with the children since it is getting so late in the season would you rather wait till spring?"

"Roza, you know waiting that long would feel like a broken promise to the children. If you don't mind I would like to plan something for this weekend. Perhaps not fishing since I would be afraid of getting the little ones wet but we could certainly use the fire pit by the lake and have a cookout and play games."

"It is Rosemarie or Guardian Hathaway; I told you, years ago, that the girl you used to call Roza is dead." She said this in a sad, whisper. Her eyes were closed and she held her head in her hand with her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. Rosemarie took a moment to calm herself and place her mask firmly in place again.

"I appreciate that you want to get to know Annemarie as a person and not just as your student. I also appreciate any help I can get entertaining the children. Come to the fire pit on Saturday at 3 am. That should give you enough time before their bedtime. I just ask that you remember that she is much younger than she appears and if you hurt her feelings I will destroy you. She trusts you, she believes you will be there for her, don't fail her again. Your dismissed Guardian Belikov."

She picked up her phone and refused to acknowledge me any farther. Stunned I left her office, feeling horrible and confused. She said that she had told me years ago that Roza was dead but it was Adrian who told me just a couple months ago. As for betraying Annemarie I think she is speaking just as much about herself as she is about my ladybug. After what I have done to my Roza I can never allow that to happen to my ladybug, the thought of seeing her spirit killed the way that Roza's was. I would rather die than do that again.


Pop Quiz

1. Why do you think that Dimitri actually stooped so low as to go searching though the records?

2. Who is Joshua really? How is he related to Rose?

3. What do you think will happen at Christmas when Tasha, Jonathan and Conner come to visit?

4. What was the meaning of Yeva's call?

5. What did Yeva mean when she said that "Love has made You a father. Your child is waiting for your love. Love can make a child yours. You have made this child Yours by your Love" ?

6. Why do you think that Rose dresses as conservatively as she does?

7. What does Rosemarie mean when she said Don't fail her AGAIN? Is she really talking about Annemarie or herself or perhaps both?

Please review. I have had a lot of stress in my life with my dad and then my computer problems that I was having.

Reviews make me happy so please Please PLEASE REVEIW

Calling through the Bond "Review come on You know you want to"

Adrian giving you his sexy smile and using compulsion. "You will review and make Suzanna happy so she will make time to write."

Thank you Lissa and Adrian. I know why Rose loves you guys.