A Crocodilian Grin

Vivi managed to convince Sakazuki to help her stop the civil war (for a sizeable reward). She wasn't aware that he already intended to kill Crocodile because he had arbitrarily decided to kill all the Warlords or that Borsalino was the one who killed Igaram when he blew up Whisky Peak.

On their way they passed through a large bank of fog and discovered a strange man dressed like a ballerina on their ship. At first Sakazuki merely smiled while he watched the more idiotic members of his crew dance with the crossdresser. When he started stealing faces, the smile disappeared. When the man jumped on board his own ship and was addressed as Mr. 2, lava flew; and the sailed away from the burning wreckage of the flamboyant man's equally flamboyant ship.

When they arrived at Alabasta Sakazuki assigned Kuzan to protecting and supporting the princess in her little crusade to stop the rebellion while he headed off to Rainbase(where VIvi informed him Crocodile resided) to murder the fuck out of a Warlord.

Six hours of languid Shaving later, he arrived at the gates of Rainbase, already guessing that Crocodile was in the giant casino with a fucking solid gold crocodile on top even without using Observation. He slowly meandered towards him, Smirking when he realised the Warlord didn't even have awakened Haki. He began to wonder how he even became a Warlord, but decided the World Government's incompetence in selecting mercenaries was not his problem.

He kicked open the gaudily decorated doors and strode right to the VIP rooms, where he sensed Crocodile was directly below. Hw strolled through the doors, ignoring the stammering guards and officials trying to stop him and walked down the path labeled "pirates".

He crossed his arms as the ground fell out beneath him. His knees didn't even bend when he hit the ground. Crocodile was smirking at him, secure in the false certainty of his victory. "Heh, seems you found yourself in a bit of trouble there, eh?"

Sakazuki nearly groaned, rapidly growing bored of the narcissistic monologuing of the arrogant prick. He raised his hand, placing it an inch in front of the Seastone bars, turned it to magma, and began to crank up the heat. Crocodile raised an eyebrow, not seeing the point of the action until, to his horror, the bars began to sag. "Seastone has a high melting temperature, but it still has one. I can easily generate heats greatly in excess of this temperature. The only reason I can't generate molten Seastone like I can similar materials is its unique properties causing it to cancel out Devil Fruit powers on contact." He stepped over the slowly growing puddle of molten Seastone, and walked to the nearly catatonic form of the revolutionary Warlord. "But, as you can see, I didn't need to touch it at all to melt it."

Crocodile managed to snap himself out of his shock, sliding the golden cover off of his poisoned hook. He glanced about him and smirked, sending swirling spears of sand into the glass walls and ceiling before sprinting away, mocking Nico Robin (who he just betrayed) and Sakazuki over his shoulder as he disintegrated the stairs behind him. Sakazuki scowled at him as the water came crashing down around him, his glowing eyes piercing into Crocodile's and causing him to stumble before a curtain of water separated them.

Crocodile kept running until he was halfway to Alubarna, gasping for breath with his hand(and hook) on his knees. His desperate struggle for breath turned into triumphant laughter in celebration of his victory… or more accurately, his survival. His laughter was interrupted by a sarcastically polite "Ahem." His head shot towards the source of the noise so fast he nearly snapped his neck. To his shocked horror, there stood Sakazuki and Robin, looking no worse for wear.

"If you're done jacking off, I'd like to get the part where I rip your spine out of your ass." Akainu commented, arms crossed and a malign smirk on his face.

"You- what- how- HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ALIVE! I FUCKING DROWNED THE BOTH OF YOU IN HUNDREDS OF TONS OF WATER!" He was (Though he would never admit it) terrified to see the stranger he thought dead standing before him, completely unharmed.

Sakazuki raised an eyebrow, "You do know water evaporates when exposed to high enough temperatures, right? Devil Fruits are only canceled out when the majority of your body is submerged. I didn't even get wet." He didn't wait for a response, shaving to right beside Crocodile with his foot drawn back for a kick. His leg slammed into the warlords throat like a steel bar and tossed him several yards away before he rolled to a stop, desperately gasping for breath.

The Warlord franticly tried to get up, to do anything, before a obsidian leg slammed down on his chest. He glared up at the smirking bastards who thought him defeated, thrusting his hand out to grab him.

The sandy hand clasped around Sakazuki's leg and for a moment Crocodile felt triumphant. This feeling swiftly faded as instead of withered flesh rising up his opponent's leg, Glass was spreading up his arm. He tried to release his grasp, only o find he couldn't. He tried to turn to sand, but where evert the spreading glass touched could not turn and he was rendered just slightly less imobile than before. Finally a grim look spread across his face as he reared back the golden hook (cover reattached) and amputated his arm just above the elbow.

Sakazuki smirked as his target swirled away to reappear some distance away; some mixture of pride and an irrational need for vengeance keeping him from fleeing... for a time. Crocodile growled and split the sands beneath his now hated enemies feet. Said enemy stepped a side and threw a seemingly pointless kick in the process. Crocodile, even as near blinded by rage as he was, raised an eyebrow at the apparent dramatics, he decided to mock him before a dull thunk caught his attention. Lying in the sand before him was a familiar object, shiny and gold. He frowned at the strange crimson-leaking object dumbly for a moment, trying to puzzle out what, exactly, it was as blood loss clouded his mind more and more. Just before the darkness consumed him completely, he figured it out, "That's… my hook? {Thunk}" he collapsed backwards into the unforgiving sand.

Robin (who had always considered herself a calm, rational person) was starring in naked shock at the scene before her. A strange man had come out of nowhere, scared Crocodile into fleeing and betraying her earlier than she had suspected. He had proceeded to effortlessly escape the trap, deciding for reasons unknown to her bring her along, and hunted down the fleeing Warlord. When the two met up she had expected it to go like every battle against the man had gone, very very poorly for the challenger. Instead, he had slaughtered Crocodile with consummate ease, tossing him around like a ragdoll. Crocodile hadn't even had the opportunity to utilize his poison (and she had the distinct feeling it would not have helped in the slightest) before he was bleeding out into the sand he once praised so highly.

Sakazuki walked over to the dying man, scooping up his hook to keep as a trophy as he went. He stood over him, watching the sluggish rise and fall of his chest. He grunted lifting his leg high to finish the man. His flaming, obsidian foot sunk over two feet into the suddenly vacated sand. "Huh, honestly didn't see that coming. The idea that a man made of sand could quickly escape in the fucking desert, never occurred to me." He pulled his leg out of the shifting sands, walking over to the shell shocked Nico Robin. He placed a hand on her shoulder, gaining her attention. "Well, let's see how that whole "stop the rebellion before it begins" thing is going, eh?" so saying, he Shaved away.

"Evidently, not well." Robin stated dryly,watching the civil war raging in the streets. Sakazuki merely grunted, sensing his crew attempting to scale a clocktower under heavy sniper fire. He frowned, aiming a meteor fist at the opened face of the tower. The crew watched as the tower head exploded, though with a much smaller bang than they had expected. The massive bomb's internal workings had been melted before it could detonate, causing it to be a useless hunk of metal. Crocodile had chosen (perhaps quite stupidly) a highly stable explosive for his bomb, not wanting his careful planning to go to waste because the fucker had detonated before he was ready. Crocodile himself appeared on top of the capitol building, somehow having crudely bandaged his arms. Sakazuki vanished from his position before the Warlord could initiate whatever batshit nonsense suddenly made sense to his addled mind. He reappeared behind the crazily smiling man who had already began to rave about his victory, evidently not noticing how the battling factions had slowed in their fighting to listen to the much more audible and visible form of an insane National Hero.

He was in the middle of explaining exactly what he intended to do to this nation (having already gone over what he had already done in excruciating detail (sakazuki decided to let the megalomaniacal moron rant just to see what would happen… and sway public opinion to his side)) when a glowing fist pierced his stomach from behind. Sakazuki blasted a enough magma to liquify his organs a dozen times over into the man before letting him drop to the distant stone below. His cloak billowed about behind him as the eyes of the nation shifted from the flaming hole in the dead Warlord to the strange Hero who had saved them. Sakazuki smirked, locking eyes with the relieved Princess, who shuddered. He was definitely not a hero.