I own nothing.
Ten's eyes widened as he clipped a new vortex manipulator onto his wrist. "Is that what I look like in the future?"
"Oi! What is wrong with my looks?" Eleven pouted.
Rose giggled. "I dunno, I think he's kinda cute this way. Bow-tie and all."
"You like my bow tie?" The eleventh Doctor's face lit up, truly touched, as he enveloped Rose in a hug. Then he stood back, triumphant. "It's pretty cool, if I do say so myself."
"Rose!" Ten grinned and threw his arms around his companion as she blushed happily. "Miss me?"
"'Course."
Amy cleared her throat. "Yeah, sorry, not to interrupt this hug-fest or anything, but... Is nobody going to mention that, um..." She gave a pointed look to the left.
The group turned to see Captain Jack Harkness staring at... Himself.
"You brought him along with you?" Rory whispered.
Eleven shrugged. "Seemed like a good idea at the time."
"Well, this is new," Captain Jack gave Captain Jack a crooked smile.
"New for you, not new for me. This happened already for me, except this time, I'm... you."
"Looks like I've still got it in my old age, huh?"
"You know, you don't look so bad yourself."
"Stop it Ja - oh, never mind." Ten and Eleven said simultaneously before turning to each other and with a matching amused look.
"I was just saying hello! To myself!" Future-Jack rolled his eyes.
Past-Jack strode amiably* towards Amy. "Captain Jack Harkness," he said with a wink. "And who, might I ask, are you?"
"Jack!" Eleven darted forward, standing in between the two. "The Ponds are married! Off limits!" He wouldn't let some Torchwood captain ruin his OTP.
"I really don't mind," Amy giggled. Hit on by the same man twice in one day.
"Ah, married. So, Mr. Pond, then, eh? I'm liking the vest," Jack nodded at Rory.
"Okay, now I mind."
"JACK!"
"I was just saying hello! And a compliment!"
The Tenth Doctor stepped forward and nudged the Eleventh. "So now that we're together... I was wondering, how exactly did this come up?"
"I'll assume you're referring to the fact that we switched spots and not Jack coming on to everyone in sight."
Ten nodded.
Amy turned to the two Doctors. "Yeah, Doctor, what exactly happened? You were just gettin' your bendy straw thing, and then you were gone."
"Yeah, uh, about that," Eleven shot a Amy a dirty look. His own companion, putting the blame on him! Then again, it was sort of his fault. And she hadn't really put the blame on him at all... But still. Now he'd have to explain.
He held up his screwdriver. "You see, I was trying to fix the old VM, because it'd broken somehow, but instead of pressing the B-27 setting on the sonic, I pressed the B-28, and, well..."
The Tenth Doctor's brow furrowed as he examined Eleven's sonic screwdriver. He pressed the extend button and it shot up, hitting him in the eye.
"OW! Is this huge... Thing... Really necessary?!"
"Of course it is! Now it can do a bunch of cool stuff, like open soda bottles and make fun boingy noises." He demonstrated, pressing the Z-6 setting and releasing a boing!
"Fun boingy noises? This is what I come to? I get a bow-tie and fun boingy noises. Brilliant."
Eleven scowled at his past form. "Oi! My bow tie is cool! Rose said so. Right, Rose?"
The blonde companion stepped backwards, behind Amy and Rory. "I... think I'll let you two handle this one, yeah?"
"You're not so perfect yourself!" Eleven frowned indignantly at Ten. "I remember being very rude as you. Rude and not ginger."
"You're one to talk, Mop-head."
"Who're you calling Mop-head, you... You... Porcupine... Scalp?"
"Porcupine Scalp? Really? Sorry, so sorry, but... That's the best you can do?"
"Would you two SHUT UP?!"
Everyone turned in surprise to Rory Williams. "Yes! Okay! You have your differences! But, honestly, you're the SAME MAN. Anything you do, you're doing to yourself. Can you just, please, just get along? This whole ordeal is giving me a hernia." He put a hand to his head as Amy patted his arm.
"In my defense," Eleven raised a hand. "He started it. Being the past version of me, and all."
Amy shot him a glare.
"Yes, well," Ten cleared his throat. "It was nice meeting... Me. We'll have to get back, so... Yeah."
"Remember to take the pills, both of you," Eleven smiled sadly. "To avoid the paradox."
Then he got a clever glint in his eye. "To avoid the… pair of docs. Because, there's two of us, see, and…"
"Oh, that's brilliant!" Ten grinned. "Brilliant!"
"You know, we always were just that; brilliant." The two Doctors stood together, satisfied that they'd found someone who finally appreciated a good pun. Even if it was themself. Themselves… Themself?
"Goodbye, Amy. Rory," Ten pulled them both into a hug. "I'll see you guys sometime in the future... As him."
"Nice meeting you," Rose nodded to the others and put a hand on the Doctor's arm as he punched numbers into his new vortex manipulator.
Too bad she won't remember me and all this, Eleven thought to himself with a twinge of sadness as the two prepared to leave.
Ten's hand came up, ready to slap the button down.
Wait a second.
She won't remember this.
This was his chance.
He rushed to get the words out. "Wait, Rose! Before you go! I just need to tell you - tell you what he'll never get out! I -"
ZAP!
The three remaining were silent for a moment.
"Doctor?"
He slowly looked up, his mouth still open. "Yes, Pond?"
"What were you going to say just now?"
"What? Oh, I, just... Just goodbye."
Rory placed a hand on the Timelord's arm. "Who was she?"
"She was..." The Doctor looked back at the empty spot where Rose had stood not a minute ago. "She was an old friend."
Then he smiled. "Why don't we go grab a good old bite to eat at Bottom of the Keyboard?"
"Oh, no. Never going there again."
"But it's got some fantastic fish and chips!"
"Fine - as long as you don't need to grab any more bendy straws."
"Where is my special bendy straw, for that matter?"
"What I really want to know is... Where's Jack?"
"Uh... Oh, no. We'll find him later. Come along, Ponds."
*Love a pun.
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The final chapter shall be posted soon!
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- Impossible Oswin
