To those who've already read Chapter Nigel at pigeonattack-dot-com, please see the note in bold at the bottom of this chapter. :D


Chapter IX

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Amaranthine

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Ignoring the streams of bubbly hearts subtle-casually emitting from their general direction, Kuno cleared her throat. "I'lll read first. Stop that wimpering, Nigel. This is pretty okay.

Dear Nigel,

Besides Franz, who out of the group do you consider yourself closest with?

Aranel Azamai."

Nigel bit his lip. "Um… you're all my friends… Well, not you four, of course— I-I mean, I haven't known you long enough to really… er, this is awkward… Well, anyway. The adventures we've survived have bound us all pretty equally, I think."

"That's… surprisingly sweet."

"Please shut up, Tom."

"The next one," said Franz, "is from InvaderTor:

Dear Nigel,
Okay, Nigel, I just want to say that you are awesome. Seriously. The best advancement I've made in botany is growing a mini carrot. So here I go with my onslaught of complicated questions. What is the most awesome plant-creature you have ever made? Doesn't Gerard Way look like Otto grown up? I mean, when Gerard had white hair. Don't tell me you don't know who he is. Google images, people. Some of his fans are creepers, though. Ugh. And some of his songs are weird. But he seems like Otto. How did you react when H.I.V.E. kidnapped you? How do you think we found out about all this? What will you do when H.I.V.E. releases you? What is the most awesome prank you have ever pulled that no one ever found out about? What did you do before H.I.V.E.? Anything malicious?
Sincerely, Invader Tor."

Nigel looked slightly lightheaded. "Er…"

"You are very awesome," Franz said, possibly as a means of encouragement."

"Thank you... Um, Violet has to be the most awesome. I mean, n-not in the damage she did… but really, have you ever seen so much raw, biological power? Er… I don't know who—"

Assistant Moonbeam showed him her Google Images search.

He tilted his head. "Maybe if you squint… I guess? Um, what next? Oh, yeah. I was kind of freaked out when Hive kidnapped me. I have no idea how you guys found out all this, and frankly, I find it a little creepy and disturbing, but you get used to that, living in this world. I guess I'll do whatever Dad want me to do when HIVE releases me. I never pulled any awesome pranks—"

"Yes, you have."

"No I haven't, Franz."

"Uh-huh."

"Name one."

"The Venomous Tentacula. You told me you put it in that turd-face's lunchbox and then when he opened it—"

"I didn't even engineer that plant. I can hardly claim credit."

"You engineered a variant of the screaming Mandrakes as a backpack alarm."

"That's not really a prank. And… no. I really didn't do anything malicious before HIVE. I'm pretty boring." Nigel smiled apologetically.

Shelby raised an eyebrow. "You call VT lunchbox traps and Mandrake backpack alarms boring?"

Nigel shrugged.

Franz rubbed his temples, then excused himself to go make some popcorn.

"The next one's from Kukipye," said Laura.

"So Nigel, are you and your dad, like, closer now? Cuz when you first came to HIVE, you seemed very bitter about him.

Question for general (anyone can answer this one really)... When you have classes in HIVE, I know sometimes it's mixed streams, but when they're not, will all the Alphas be in the same year and same intake? (Because in their latest adventure, 38 students were missing, and plus Franz, Wing, Shelby and Otto, that makes 42 Alphas in their year... but when they first had their first lesson with Francisco, it seemed like the students there were only from the intake Otto, Wing, Shelby, Laura, Franz and Nigel were in)

Aaand Nigel... were you very close to your mother like a Mommy's boy before HIVE, or did you go out with your friends and you know, have girlfriends and such? Since you mentioned you liked to work in the garden with your mom."

"Geez, these are long," Nigel muttered. "Dad and I are cool, now. I wasn't that bitter about him, per se… It just kind of got tiresome being The Darkdoom Kid all the time, you know? Um… I'm sorry, I don't really understand the question. I'm not sure I'd be able to answer it accurately, anyway. As for being a Mommy's boy… Er, I don't think any boy my age in their right mind would straight up answer 'yes'. I did enjoy gardening with her. I hope that doesn't make me a Mommy's boy." He looked around quickly for some confirmation of his clearance.

Otto laughed out loud at the next one, then quickly wiped it from his face. "Ah, sorry. From Shnizel:

Nigel... Have you ever considered growing your hair? Because its useful for many things like keeping your head warm in the winter..."

"HIVE, for all its glitches, has a pretty reliable heating system, thanks," Nigel said a little peevishly. "And I wear a beanie when I need to work in the cold areas of the hydroponics dome."

Shelby grinned. "Ah, the next one's from Fly!"

Fly pumped a fist. "Woot!"

Nigel sank a little lower. "Oh…"

"To: General people in the studio
From: Fly

Did anyone notice how Pinky didn't actually deny being a blondie? *wide grin* I'm on to something!

About Sakura-every single time I dared to raise my expectations, she crushed them. She's acting worse than Sasuke. And Sasuke's the one who's acting psycho-running off to Orochi-pedo after getting a curse hickey from him, running around half-shirtless, the whole Itachi-fiasco, proving that he's not happy unless he's getting vengeance...that awkward moment when Naruto suddenly becomes the sanest out of the trio.

And I don't really know who Prussia and the Poke-phobic are, but I know Ero-Sannin and...yep, white haired people are awesome. "I think we must expect great things from you Mr. Potter-um, Malpense. Terrible, but great."

Shelby paused. "Total agreement there, with the Sakura-thing…"

"Hey, I like Sakura!" Penny protested.

Fly looked very satisfied, twirling a pink plastic knitting needle in one hand. "I rest my case."

Shelby continued.

"To: N. Darkdoom
From: Fly

Honestly, every time I think of you, I think of Nero's "Darkdoom? Darkdoom did this? Why is it always the bald ones?" quote.
Epic XD

ANYWAY. Moving on. I don't really have a question about your baldness. Or your lack of Alpha-leader-material. Or your relationship with Franz.

But what I DID want to know-
DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S A SONG CALLED 'VIOLET' BY 'SAVAGE GARDEN'?
It's a good song.
But seriously.
VIOLET.
By SAVAGE GARDEN.

WASN'T THAT OMEN ENOUGH? DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND NEARLY KILL EVERYONE IN BOOK ONE?
It's always the bald ones, isn't it?

But at least it resulted in that "Fanchu, get down!" Nero-and-Wing-not-shipping-but-still-sweet moment, so I forgive you.

Yep. You're awesome. That's it.

Without wax,
Fly."

pidge laughed slowly, collapsed on her back. "Once again, you've managed to upset everyone you mentioned, I believe."

"It's my job."

"Wait a sec…" Franz said, returning with the popcorn. "What are you meaning by relationship—"

"Answering the questions," Nigel said quickly. His face was considerably pink with a variety of possible reasons. "I don't know that song—"

Moonbeam played it.

"Oh. Er, yes, it is a very good song. Um… What more can I say about the Violet incident? It was an accident. My fault. I'm really sorry."

Franz patted his back. "Chill. It is being okay now."

Wing, Shelby, and Laura looked a little ill.

Laura raised her hand. "What in the world do you mean by Nero-and—"

"Scarred," Shelby murmured. "Scarred for life."

Fly cleared her throat. "I could very well have just meant sweet as in like fatherly stuff."

Nigel scrolled down. "Wow. That's it for Fly's mail?"

"I told you it'd be relatively cake," said pigeonattack.

"That's so not true. This is not cake."

"A nice, sensible question from Fire," said Wing.

"Nigel,
Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Fire."

"Working with Dad, I guess?" Nigel shrugged. "I have no idea. I'd like to be a bioengineer."

"Finally, from Wasp," Penny said brightly.

Nigel's eyes widened. "What?!"

"From Wasp."

"I mean, this is the last one? Are you serious?"

"Like I said—" pidge began.

"I know you said."

"Like I said, as the interviewee preceding…" pidge checked to make sure Wing was sufficiently distracted by the ceiling and Shelby was sufficiently absorbed in boredly playing Cut the Rope "…arguably the most popular ship on the fandom, you're getting it easy. Most of the reviewers just left nice notes without actually asking anything. Just wait till Shelby's mail starts coming in."

"Things… will be so beautiful…" Penny whispered, then straightened up seriously. "Which brings us to your final question, Nigel:

Nigel, I was wondering what H.I.V.E. pairings you ship. Please list all, and don't go all vague. –Wasp"

Nigel looked horrified. "EASY, YOU SAID?"

"I can help you jog your brain," Franz offered.

Nigel shook his head wildly. "Are you serious?! I'm going to be murdered in my sleep!"

"Oh-hon-hon." pidge smirked. "So you do…"

"Another shipper on deck!" Franz announced gleefully. "My own roommate!"

Finally slumping all the way down in the beanbag-ish cushiness, Nigel let out a long breath. "I'm not announcing them verbally."

"Fine," pidge sighed.

Knitting his eyebrows in concentration, Nigel switched to the notes app and slowly entered a list.

There were a total of two items.

"Oh, you're no fun," said Penny. "Those two ships are just so… duh."

"Well, maybe that's the reason I picked them," Nigel said petulantly. "Problem? By the way, I'm not a shipper. I just sail, okay?"

"Sure, sure… But seriously, that's it? Wingelby and Ottra?"

There were a few seconds of utter, deathly silence (+ Cut the Rope music, which kind of messed up the utter/deathly aspect).

Laura slowly lifted her eyes from her tablet. "What was that, Nigel?"

Nigel squeaked once and finally broke, diving under a big red and white polka-dotted beanbag.

"I. WILL. NOT. BE. A. PART. OF. ANY. 'SHIP'. YOU. WILL. NOT. 'SHIP'. ME. IF. YOU. GUYS DON'T. DROP. THIS. RIDICULOUS. 'OTTRA'. THING. I. SWEAR. I. WILL. PERSONALLY—"

"Hey, hey, calm down," Otto said, looking a little resigned to this stuff. He got up to attempt to pull Laura off the Nigel/beanbag heap.

Finally, Laura relented with a frustrated "ARGH!" and Nigel slowly poked his head out.

"Sorry," Laura muttered.

"It's okay," Nigel said weakly.

"You know I'll never be able to look at you the same way again, right?"

"Yeah… I kind of guessed as much."

"Hey, hey, what'd I miss?" Shelby said distractedly without looking up from her attempt to feed Omnom.

"Not much," pidge said cheerfully. "It's your turn, now."

Shelby's head jerked up, eyes wide as Ming Dynasty moon vases. "Say what?"

To be continued…


This chapter was first posted at pigeonattack-dot-com. Chapter Shelby is already complete and posted at pigeonattack-dot-com. As I announced at pigeonattack-dot-com, there will be two Wing sessions. The first is for non-romantic questions. Please input your non-romantic Wing mail right here (limit 3 per review, please) if you're in the mood to harass our poor, hapless, oh-so-wonderful ninja buddy, then head over to pigeonattack-dot-com to read Chapter Shelby and some other stuff I haven't posted here yet, including a holiday one-shot and a few little teasers. ;D