Title: Everything I've Ever Known

By: Rage's Slash

Chapter 8: Reality or Normal?

Draco awoke to a sterile smell in the air. There was something not right about it, usually in Blaise and his private dorm it always smelled like clean linen mixed with their aftershaves and the natural lanky smell of the dungeon. Slowly his senses came to him. The air wasn't damp, it was light. The breeze that fell onto him confirmed that he wasn't in the dungeons. The bed he was laying on was uncomfortable and stiff, he attempted to shift his position when he felt a grip on his hand and a weight on his thigh. He squeezed his already closed eyes shut tightly, hoping to remember who he was with and calming himself so he wouldn't panic. He felt his heart beat quicken and he knew that no matter who it was he'd have to do what he usually did when someone overstayed their welcome. Mustering up as much energy he could, he moved.

Draco moved with a jerk. He suddenly sat up, pulling his hand out of the other persons, his leg that he felt the pressure on moved up, causing his knee to collide with the person's nose. He readied his fist, realizing that one was in a cast, as he heard someone fall to the floor. When he finally opened his eyes he saw a patch of red hair, the person it belonged to was on his knees, holding his nose in his hands, pressing his forehead into the cool floor.

"Wha-" He stammered. Slowly the events of the previous night came flooding back to him. Shit. He remembered most of the previous day, down to the last thing he said to Ron. "Shit, I'm sorry Ron. I'm so sorry." He tried to pull the sheet off of himself to help Ron up but by the time he did Ron was sitting in the chair. Apparently he'd crawled to it while all Draco managed to do was sit with his legs dangling off the side of the bed.

"It's ok, I'll be okay." Ron said, grabbing the rag on the side table, holding it to his nose for a few moments before reaching for his wand and casting a simple spell to stop the blood from rushing out of his nose.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." Draco said, looking at Ron. Something was different about him; it seemed that in the past twenty-four to thirty-six hours he'd seen 5 different Draco's. He'd soon have to start naming them.

"You've got nothing to be sorry about."

"I wasn't going to tell you about…" Draco paused, taking a deep breath, regaining some sense of composure and pride he was always taught to carry. "I never meant to tell you about Percy and Marlbarus."

"It's fine," Ron said, putting his hand over Draco's, to him it seemed like he was returning to 'normal', or whatever that meant. He decided to call this version that was slowly restoring itself 'Malfoy', the proper and pristine version of Draco that he'd seen all along, without the arrogance of course, but the more controlled Draco. Or maybe he was seeing the bright and full of confidence Draco now. "I'm glad you told me," he said, thinking of his brother. "I wouldn't have wanted to find out from anyone else… But I'll be the first to admit, it hurts."

Draco looked down to his hands, slowly crawling back into his shell as the shamed and regretful Draco emerged. Ron smiled a bit, loving the fact that he was being given a chance to learn these little things about Draco, even considering the circumstances. He placed his hand under the blonds chin and raised it so their eyes met.

"It's ok." He whispered and Draco gave him a small smile, one that was slightly worried about what would happen next.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Draco asked worriedly raising his hand to brush the side of the red heads nose that was now healed.

"I'll be alright, promise." He said before shifting his chair closer to Draco's cot, seeing as he pushed it back in his fall. "I should be asking you that, how are you feeling?" Ron asked concerned as he took Draco's hand.

"I'll be fine. Really, I'm ok." Draco said, smiling, realizing he skipped something yesterday. "So when can I get out?" Draco started

"That's up to Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey, but probably today. What's wrong, Draco?" Ron said, noticing the smile wasn't all too real. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, I just have to get out of here. I don't like hospitals, even if it's just a wing in a school." He said nervously, moving to get out of bed. He noticed his clothes lying on the bed that stood on the other side of Ron, meaning he'd have to find a way to get around Ron. The moment he completely stood up on his own two feet he instantly swayed, his legs giving out for a slight moment. Thankfully, Ron's chair being so closed to his cot, he stood up, quickly catching the blond

"Draco, you shouldn't be getting out of bed, you should still be weak from everything." Ron said, leaning Draco back onto the cot.

"Nonsense, I'm fine." He looked to the ticking clock across the room and realized that it was 10:30. Shit. Draco stood, making sure he was leaning along the bed as he stood this time so he could steady himself before standing completely on his own. "I just need to get back to my dorm, I-" He walked around Ron who for a moment stood in disbelief that Draco was able to walk from one cot to the other without any more signs of being dizzy. Even if there weren't signs Ron knew he was, no matter how much he protested.

Just as Draco reaches his clothes the doors open to the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey and Dumbledore, closely followed by Kingsley, entered the room.

"Ah, Draco, good to see you awake." Dumbledore said as the trio neared the duo.

"Yes, I'm awake, and ready to join the world of the living. So if you don't mind I'd really love to get dressed and head back to my dorm." Draco said curtly, turning back to his clothes, lifting the shirt to only to realize it was cut down the center of it.

"Well, I can understand your eagerness to return to your dorm, but you must allow Madame Pomfrey to decide whether or not you are ready to join the world of the living so to speak." Dumbledore retorted as Pomfrey moved to examine him.

"Now just sit back on your cot for a few moments, Draco. It will only take just a moment if you cooperate." Draco began to wonder when he started to be the one on trial. He weighed the odds for a moment. If he protests then they would most likely hold him there until he did give into their demands, or if he went willingly he'd be out sooner and be able to get to where he needed to be.

"Fine," he mumbled dejectedly, "just get it over with." He slowly walked back to his cot and sat there as Pomfrey poked and prodded at him. After having her 'fill' of giving him a look over, she told him he needed to take it easy, at least until his arm was fully healed, and not to over exert himself (at this she looked to Ron, causing him to blush a light red as he was able to control himself before becoming rose red). Pomfrey then casted a repairing charm on the blonds clothes, erasing all signs of the bloodied mess that was laid out on the very cot he sat upon the night before.

"Well, now that you are being released by Madame Pomfrey, there are a few things we should discuss before you leave. First off-"

"With all due respect Professor, I'd prefer to just try to get back to my life for now."

"Draco, I'm not sure that a great idea." Ron said, hoping Draco would be able to stay there for just a bit longer because he knew once they walked out those doors…

"Can't we have a meeting later on, perhaps?" Draco said quickly, finishing the last button on his repaired shirt.

"Perhaps it would be wise to let you have a few moments to yourself," Dumbledore nods. "Will you please report to my office at 4 p.m. sharp?" Draco gave him a stern nod and pulled his robes on. "Very well then, good day gentlemen."

"I'll walk you out." Ron said to Draco, standing from where he sat, walking side by side with the blond. Something wasn't right, he knew it. Once they crossed the thrush hold of the Hospital Wing he felt heaviness in his heart. "Draco-"

"I- I just need a bit of time on my own Ron, I-"

"I get it," Ron said, turning the shorter man to face him, "I'm here, though. Don't forget it." He smiled to the shorter man that to him seemed like the bravest person in the world.

"Thank you." And with that he saw the blond walk away and fade around the corner that surly lead to the dungeons.

Ron looked at his watch and saw he had less than three hours before his meeting with his brother and turned towards the seventh floor dorms.

Draco moved as fast as his tiered brain would tell his limbs to move down to the dungeons. He needed to get there as soon as possible. There would be repercussions for what happened last night and although he would never admit it, he intended to bleed as much as he did.

I should have known better. After my meeting with him I was already weak and doing that only made things worse. He shook his head as he muttered the password for the Slytherin dorms and walked towards his rooms. I just wanted to be numb enough to survive another meeting with Lucius. He turned the knob of his dorm and looked around. He gave a sigh of relief as he saw that Blaise was not occupying their rooms, sitting down at his desk that faced the illusioned windows that would appear when letters were being sent or received and pulled out quill and a piece of parchment.

L,

I do apologize for not meeting with you last night. Unfortunately the last client was too excited and left me in a state that caused other Hogwarts students to grow concerned. I know it is my duty to not allow this to be known or to be seen in such a state but you know as well as I do how he can be at times, having had him yourself. I am sending my wages to you via owl. I have sent Patres who you know cannot be traced so do not fret. I will meet with you as scheduled by the end of next week to discuss my future meeting with my betrothed.

D

Draco took the wand out of his pocket, tapping the locked drawer on the side of the desk muttering, "Sanguinem Pecunia." The drawer opened and he pulled the sack of galleons out, tying it and the note to his beautiful raven owl's leg. He watched as she flew away and wondered what he would suffer for not showing last night. Nothing can be as bad as last time. He remembered the time Blaise talked him out of going and shook his head at the memory, not wanting to ruin his mood even more. He was about to turn away from the window when he noticed a small owl approaching the window. Recognizing the owl he closed his eyes, begging it not to be from whom he knew it was from. The owl settled on his desk, unhitched the letter from its own leg and flew away promptly, not needing a reply. Draco picked up the letter, unrolled it, and starred at the words that refused to be imbedded into his head as he read it over and over.

My Succulent Draco,

I will be arriving at Hogwarts today to have a meeting, but I will be arriving early enough to have a session with you. We will meet in the abandoned room in the far left corridor of the third floor at one p.m. Be prompt or I will be very displeased with you.

Sincerely, Your Favorite Weasley.

P.S. Don't forget to bring rope.

Draco crumpled up the letter, threw it across the room and screamed. He knew who it was from. Percy. The nerve of that man to ask to have a meeting with me when he knows… wait, he doesn't know I've told. Neither does Lucius. Maybe now I can finally tell Percy what I think of him, because soon enough the authorities will be after him. I can finally face him without the worry. Draco walked to his private bathroom with a smile on his face. He knew he shouldn't face Percy and tell him what he thought of him. There would be repercussions for that as well, and it was only a matter of time before Lucius, therefore Voldermort, found out. But he would do as he felt for now. He would keep the façade with Lucius but no one else deserved to have him any longer.

As the waters cascaded down his tense shoulders he thought of Ron. The red head he always imagined himself with. He may not admit it to anyone, including the red head in question, but he fancied him longer than he would ever tell. It wasn't until he began to fancy Ron that he realized there was something other than sexual love when it came to partners.

He only ever knew what these men had done to him, this was the only form of physical contact he'd had since he was only a boy. This was what he knew. He knew that in some ways he may never be able to be romantically involved with someone in the purest sense but that didn't mean he hadn't dreamt about it. He worried that this pattern he maintained for the last ten years would never leave him. As strong as he knew he needed to be he couldn't help but feel comforted by the letter Percy sent him. It was something that was a routine, something he knew if he didn't do Lucius would find out and his mother would be in danger. But regardless of the danger, it was something that he unconsciously longed for, to be needed, wanted and to have control over these people, even if it was only until they were done with him. It was what he was taught, to please others by any means necessary. It was instilled within him that this was his purpose, this was his meaning in life, and who was he to doubt it? Voldermort would surely have what he wanted in the end. And although he was just beginning to see the light with Ron, Blaise, and Severus he was being pulled back into the darkness that he had fought for many years. Spy or not, he still had moments where he knew that there were times when he would be forced to chose the darkness in order to survive.

He sometimes feared that if given the chance to choose between a normal life and the one he lead, he would choose the one he lead. He would make that choice more out of fear of a normal life than the one he lead. Because this was what he knew and as horrible as his life seemed, he feared any other life than his own.