Chapter IX: Cats & Rabbits...

Cheshire sighed softly, lounging in a tree not far away from the household of the Fromagian Grig. He sneezed, and, with a rare frown upon his face, took a handkerchief from his coat pocket. He wiped his nose as he said to himself, "That cook always DOES use too much pepper in his stew..."

Even so, the piglet stew had been very filling, giving a sensation not unlike a warm hand rubbing his belly. Right before he would bite it off, of course.

He smiled, pocketing the handkerchief, and lay back. Had his usual, humanoid form had a tail, it would have swayed gently beneath him. Instead, he was content to let one leg swing back and forth below him, within the dead space between the ground and his perch. Content as could be, the creature closed its eyes to take a little cat nap, as it were.

The sound of faint footsteps caught his ear, and the Cheshire Cat opened one eye.

He grinned lazily.

"Well, well, well," he purred. "Is this dessert I see before me?"

It was the White Rabbit. The little creature was trembling so hard, he didn't even BOTHER with his tie, fiddling with his watch between his paws, head bowed low, staring directly at the roots of the tree.

"G-good day, Mister Ch-Ch-Cheshire."

"Good day to you. And I know better than to think you'd just hop right up to me—practically straight down my throat –altogether willingly, so, tell me, my rabbit, what's on your mind?"

The Rabbit gulped.

"T-two things, sir..."

"Name them."

"First, and foremost...please, Your...Catty-ness, don't eat me..."

"Hm," Cheshire murmered, looking the White Rabbit up and down with cold yellow eyes. "I'm moved by your plea. I shall consider it."

The Katoseussian tilted his head slightly, thoughtfully. Then, after three seconds—exactly, as the Rabbit had been counting—he let out a quiet chuckle, and looked down again.

"There. Considered. But I make no promises."

The Rabbit let out a soft whimper, He still refused to look at the cat, but he swore he could FEEL its fierce gaze. He was walking on thin ice dealing with this madman, and he feared the moment when the ground would tear away before his unlucky rabbit feet.

"What's the second?" the Cheshire Cat continued, inquiring his prospective snack. The Cat casually removed his glove to look at his finely sharpened claws.

"W-well...well, it's a m-message."

"From whom?"

"T-Time."

Cheshire's eyes snapped back to the Rabbit.

"Time, you say?" he purred.

The Rabbit nodded rapidly.

Cheshire grinned a little wider.

"Interesting. Well, then, if it is about Time, please, feel free to recite the message. And make it snappy!"

"Y-yes, sir," the Rabbit said. Having cleared his throat before going on, he proceeded "Well, it goes as follows: it's all rather a blur, now, I'll admit, but I was returning from a tax visit back to Card Castle, when I bumped into a curious man – this was Time – and an equally curious girl, dressed in outlandish clothing, covered in outrageous decorations. Oh, and might I add, when I say "bumped into," I mean it quite literally. Anyway, I dusted myself off, and I stood up and tried to explain to them that I had urgent business to attend to, and requested they move...that girl had the audacity to suggest I step out of line! Can you believe it?! So, I told her-"

"Rabbit."

"Hm? O-Oh! Y-y-yes, sir?"

"I am losing interest, and regaining an appetite."

The Rabbit's eyes flattened back, and his ears bent down in fear.

"Oh, to be a herbivore, surrounded by so many bloodthirsty creatures and carnivores..." he whispered to himself. Then his eyes widened, and he looked up slightly—still refusing to look at the Cheshire Cat, himself. "D-did I just say that aloud?"

"You did."

The Rabbit groaned.

"Oh, why...?"

"Yes, yes, woe is you, I'm sure...actually, wait, no. Woe is someone else, a rather somber fellow...I gobbled him up two months ago. Maybe three. Sort of hard to tell around this place, really. Anyway, I'm getting off-track again...what did Time have to say?"

"Er...h-he was heading to Card Castle, I think, and he said to me, verbatim: 'You are going to find the Cheshire Cat. Tell him that Time has asked for his assistance at the Castle. He's bound to be hungry, even if he's eaten already, so make sure you tell him right away.'"

Cheshire chuckled, and licked his lips.

"Well, Time knows me well enough...wait a moment. My assistance? Whatever for?"

"I...I do not know...h-he didn't s-say..."

"I see."

There was a pause. The Rabbit fidgeted.

"Um...M-Mr. Cheshire?"

"Hm?"

"If...if I may say so, I think it would be unwise t-to waste Time's time."

Cheshire let out a soft snort, and shrugged.

"All right, if you DO say so..."

The Grand Chz'zhur dropped from the tree. When he landed he was a tiger once more.

He bent down, and nodded to the Rabbit, who continued to ignore directly looking into his eyes.

"Hop on, bunny," he growled.

The Rabbit shuddered, shaking even harder than before.

"W-with all due respect, Y-Your Feline-ness, I would m-much rather go at my own pace.

The Cheshire Cat raised an eyebrow. It was, indeed, a strange sight to see a tiger raise its eyebrow in such a anthropomorphic manner.

"Why?"

The Rabbit didn't answer.

Cheshire smirked.

"Ah. Still scared?"

The Rabbit still gave no response...which was all the response Cheshire needed. He laughed.

"Oh, relax, little one! Believe me, I don't bite."

The Rabbit looked up. Just a little.

"N-no?"

Cheshire grinned, revealing each and every single one of his teeth.

"Oh, no," he crooned. "Not much, anyway..."