First, thank you for all the rec's that have been given for these stories, and this story is now a featured fic on twcs. Ffn seems to be acting up today, so I will put review shoutouts in next chapter if we've hit the next milestone. The reviews are split on Edward and Bella but I promise the next two chapters will start to move things in the direction that most of you want.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 9

Bella seemed to be avoiding me since the day in my office, so I knew I would have to work to fix it. I was evidently moping around the office, because Garrett told me that he was tired of my mood.

"I don't get it, you're tapping that fine little woman at home, what could have you so sad?" he asked.

"I'm losing her, Garrett," I told him. "I can't be the man she needs in public, and I don't know how to make her understand how much I love her without scaring her."

"Have you gotten her birthday gift yet?" he asked.

"No, I just don't know what to get her, but I'm running out of time because her birthday's tomorrow," I said. Everything I thought of for her wasn't special enough.

"Well you have to get her two gifts, one as her boss and one as her boyfriend," Garrett told me before he grabbed my coat. "I think I know the kind of gift you'd get your girlfriend, so come with me."

I was skeptical about him being able to read me so well, but he got me into a cab and when we pulled up in front of the flagship Tiffany & Co, I was a little shocked.

"You really think getting her jewelry this soon is a good idea?" I asked because it had been way too long since I was at the beginning of a relationship.

"You just admitted to loving her, and a birthday is an appropriate occasion to get someone jewelry. Plus, this is your type of store. You have timeless elegance written all over you," he teased.

Shaking my head, I entered the store only to have a young sales girl descend on me. "Sir, my name is Jeanie, how may I help you?"

"I'm looking for a birthday gift for my girlfriend," I explained and she immediately led me to the first jewelry case.

"We have plenty of gift ideas, are you looking for gold or silver?"

"Silver," I said, noting that the few pieces that Bella had worn were silver.

"Do you know what kind of jewelry you want to get? A bracelet or a ring perhaps?" she asked.

"I think a necklace would be better," I told her and Jeanie led me down the counter until we got to the silver necklaces.

"There are plenty of pendants here, unless you want to just get her a heavy chain," she offered as I let my eyes scan the case. There were several lovely pieces, but I didn't see anything interesting. I didn't want to get her some small and insignificant pendant. I was about to give up hope on finding something today when I noticed one that looked like a palm leaf.

"That one," I said, pointing it out.

"The palm leaf, an excellent choice," Jeanie said. "Now we have two styles, the plain sterling, and a sterling design inlayed with onyx."

I looked between the two, but knew that the plain one would be more Bella's style. "The sterling silver one, please. But do you have a different chain, because she watches children all day and I'm afraid of one of them tugging on it and breaking it."

"Of course, now I can give you a platinum chain, which is stronger, or a shorter chain than the thirty-inch one it comes with and she can switch it out. Which would you prefer?" Jeanie asked.

"Why don't you give me the shorter one, and can you put the pendant on the shorter chain and put the original in the box?" I asked.

"Absolutely, I'll get you an eighteen-inch chain for that and I'll be right back," Jeanie said as she went to wrap up the purchase.

"So, now that you have one of her gifts down, what are you going to get her that she can open in front of everyone?" Garrett asked.

"I don't know. I keep thinking of what I can get her but it seems too personal, and then I get nervous that I'm tipping them off by getting her something more than a boss should," I lamented, but Garrett just shook his head.

"Besides being a nanny, a classically trained chef, and the star of your wet dreams, what does she do?" I smacked him at the mention of wet dreams and the douche just smirked. "Seriously, what did she major in?"

"English, she wants to be a writer," I told him.

"Then why don't you get her a gift card to a bookstore? Or get her one for Amazon and let her get herself something that she wouldn't normally buy."

"I could tell her to use if for research, buy books on her kindle that way she has it with her wherever she goes," I said and it was his turn to slap my arm.

"He can be taught," he exclaimed, but I just distanced myself from him as Jeanie returned with my little blue bag.

I handed her my credit card and signed the slip when it was time, taking the package and thanking her for her help.

"So, you can print her out a gift card, or the drug stores sell physical cards now that you could put in a card that I'm sure you haven't bought either," Garrett bugged me about it, and I decide that the quickest way to not only take care of Bella's last present but to get Garrett to shut up would be to buy both the card and the Amazon thing now.

We headed into the closest drugstore, and I found a sweet card that basically called her a superhero, and with everything she did for us, it was pretty accurate, and then got her two hundred dollar gift cards because it was from all of us.

With those paid for and the card filled out, we caught a cab back to the office and finished our day.

There was another meal waiting for me when I got home, but Jasper said that Bella was on the phone with her stepmom when I walked in and she never came down.

The next morning I was awake early, giving me a chance to deliver Bella's present. I had the blank card that was put in the bag, but I still didn't know what to write on it. I slipped into her room and found her sound asleep, and while I knew I should feel bad that I was invading her privacy, she was too beautiful to look away from.

Realizing how much she had brought to my life, I took one of her pens and wrote her note and left the gift on her desk.

Dear Bella,

Your birth is definitely a cause for celebration.

I exited the room and went to shower, knowing that I would need to get moving if I was going to be home a little early for the birthday party. Angela and Ben were coming over, so there would be a nice little gathering for her special day.

The morning was a series of meetings, but when Esme called me just after two, I knew something was up.

"What's going on, Es?"

"Nothing, I just got to your house and it seemed pretty quiet. I eventually found Bella and Alice in her room relaxing; it seems Bella's not feeling well."

"What?" I asked, upset that I'd been in there with her this morning and hadn't known that there was something wrong. "Why didn't she say anything? Alice could have come to work with me if I had known that she sick."

"She doesn't seem too bad, and I have Alice with me now, but I think we should try to keep tonight from going too late, that way she can get a good night's sleep. And if she's still feeling poorly, then you can take Alice with you and the older kids can come to my house and I'll take the afternoon off," Esme offered, but I just wanted to get back to the house and check on Bella. Something that wasn't possible with Esme there.

"Thanks, Esme, I'll be home as soon as I can tonight, and Ben's coming over with me so Angela is the only one we have to worry about."

"Perfect, Angela is going to be over around five so we can eat around six. See you later," she told me before hanging up.

I tried to focus for the rest of the afternoon, but when quitting time came around, I was very excited to see it.

"Hey, Edward, are you ready to head over to your place?" Ben asked me as we walked to the elevator with Garrett.

"Wait, how did I not get an invite? I'm insulted," Garrett whined, but I simply shook my head.

"Because you have to meet the birthday girl to get invited to her party," I teased back and soon Ben and I were walking towards the house.

Ben seemed happy being quiet, his phone holding his attention, which meant that I tried to think of a way to get Bella alone to check on her.

"Angela's running a few minutes late, so I'm gonna wait out here for her, okay?" Ben gave me a heads up as we rounded the corner onto my block.

"Sure, see you inside," I said and jogged up to see what I might be able to do to see Bella.

"Edward, good you're here," Esme greeted me, looking around behind me. "Where are Ben and Angela?"

"Angela is late, so Ben's waiting outside for her. They should be in in a few minutes."

"Okay, well, can you go and wake Bella so she can clean up before dinner?" Esme asked and I agreed readily.

I ran up the stairs and entered Bella's room just as I had this morning, but knowing now that she wasn't well, I could take in her tangled sheets and puckered brow. They were small signs, but it made me want to wrap her in my arms and take everything away. As I walked to her bed, I ran my hand along her arm.

"Bella, wake up," I whispered in her ear. "How are you feeling, baby?"

"You have to come up with a term of endearment that you only use for me," she said as she slowly woke up. "Its weird hearing you call me the same name you use for Alice."

I laughed and promised to work on that before telling her that if she had been feeling as sick as Esme said that she should have said something and I would have brought Alice to the daycare at my office. She had gone to the one in Chicago before, so she would have been fine, but Bella brushed off her illness. When I pushed her she said it wasn't that she was sick, but just feeling bad. I urged her again and her answer cut me to the bone.

"I feel like I'm waiting for something that's never going to happen. When you say it's been two months, you make it sound like such a short amount of time, but to me…I wonder if I will ever be good enough or if I'm just going to continue to be your dirty little secret."

Before I could say anything to reassure her, Angela knocked and interrupted our private moment. It was obvious that we were in the middle of something, and Angela didn't seem to be in a mood to mince words.

"Angela, would you mind?" I asked, but she refused to budge.

"The kids are getting restless, why don't you head down and I'll hang out while Bella makes herself presentable," Angela said raising my hackles with her comment on Bella's appearance. When I told her that Bella didn't need it she was quick to fire back about Bella looking like someone had killed her puppy.

After Bella yelled about us talking about her in front of her, I left the room, knowing that this was a conversation for later on, when we could be alone. A few minutes later they came down, Bella didn't look like she'd done much to clean up, but her appearance wasn't anything that would be noticed unless you had been in her room a few minutes ago.

Ben asked about her necklace and I tried to hide the smile as her fingers caressed the pendant before she told him that it was from her boyfriend.

For most of the meal the conversation was lively and I was able to comment here and there, but a majority of my time was spent focusing on what Bella had said upstairs. She felt that I was going to keep her a secret, and I could tell it was more than just insecurity there, she was afraid and I had to do something to assuage that.

There were a few moments when Bella looked overwhelmed, and not being able to go to her left me once again feeling inadequate.

When it came time for presents, Angela was first, giving Bella a Rangers bag that was stuffed with goodies. I was a little shocked to learn that she was such a sports fan, to the point where they had a partial season ticket package for eleven of the Rangers' home games, and the look of excitement about her improved seats and the jersey she got had me noting this information for a time when we could be out in the open.

Jasper was eager to learn about the sport, and she offered to teach him about baseball as well since her stepfather had worked for the team.

When Angela and Ben gave Bella a crucifix to replace one she had apparently lost, it was just another moment of clarity. We had our fun moments and our private times, but I didn't truly know her, and she had no idea what she meant to me, and that was something I would be changing tonight.

I sheepishly explained our gift, which Bella thanked me for with a warm smile before Esme and Carlisle had to blow me out of the water. Just like I had received, Bella got an iPad. They considered her a part of their family, and there was a plan in the works to make it a reality.

The cake came out and 'Happy Birthday' was sung, and after the store bought cake was polished off, our guests left.

"Go and relax upstairs, I'll take care of everything else tonight," I told her and after the house was put back together and the kids were in their rooms, I went up to see her. She was on the phone, saying goodbye to her brother, and when she hung up, she gasped when she saw me.

"Can we talk?"

"Edward…" she said, but I held my hands up, not wanting to fight with her.

"Just hear me out," I asked as I locked the door to give us some privacy. "I didn't know you were hurting like that, and knowing that I'm the cause, Bella, I want to make this right, but I need more time. But I will make an effort to prove to you that I want to be with you in a real way. Give me a little time to figure a few things out and then we can start to make some real steps."

She seemed to see that I wasn't backing down, so she shrugged and let me continue. "I don't have much of a choice, so take your time and let me know when you're ready to do whatever it is you want to do." Her resignation wasn't something I liked to hear, so I had to push further.

"What are you really afraid of, Bella?" I questioned.

"Everything I'll lose when you decide I'm not worth it. Because I don't just lose you. I lose the kids, Esme and Carlisle, my jobs, and my home."

"No, Bella, you won't," I said without hesitation. The fact that she wasn't valuing herself, and now looking at what she would lose by making what she was considering a bad gamble on me hurt. "I would have never started this if I didn't see the long term potential in it, but it took me by surprise and I need to make plans for how we will make this work. And we will, Bella. I told you that what I feel for you is so different and I meant that."

"No one sticks around, Edward. Angela and Ben are the only people besides my Dad and his family that haven't walked away. And when you go-" she sobbed and I moved instantly to her, dropping to my knees in front of her.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bella." I thought for a moment before realizing that this might be the only way to prove my love, to speak it out loud. "I love you, Bella. And I will prove that to you soon. But for right now, you need your rest, and I'm going to take care of you instead of thinking of myself."

I stood up and walked towards the door, determined to let her think about what I'd said and also rest after her stressful day.

"Edward, wait," she asked and I did, watching as she walked over to me. "It's still my birthday and I have a request to make."

"Yes?" I asked.

"Kiss me?"

Exhaling, I kissed her with everything in me, hoping she could feel all of my love for her in that moment. When I pulled back so that we could breathe, I placed another kiss on her forehead and then stepped back.

"Happy Birthday, Love," I whispered and then stepped back, letting what I knew would be my new nickname for her be the last thing she heard from me before she went to sleep that night.

I returned to my room, determined to start work on how I would prove what I'd promised my girl.