Is it any wonder I'm tired?

Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?

Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?

Sometimes

It's hard to know where I stand

It's hard to know where I am

Well maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand

_Keane_


- Anna PoV -

"Guys...is it just my impression or he hanged up?"

"What a type..."

"He definitely hanged up. But it's plausible that Sasaki committed suicide though..."

"We must consider the possibility that she was killed by a Death Note, Matsuda"

"Of course, not doing it would just mean looking the other way!"

I hear the Japanese discussing over Sasaki's death. But I am not listening. There was something wrong in the way L trailed off and closed the communication. That was definitely not in his style. I know he must have considered the idea of a Death Note being used to kill Sasaki. He just didn't want to say it...

"ANNA!"

Aizawa shakes my shoulder with a questioning face.

"Sorry...what were you saying?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing important! I was just lost in my own world..."

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

I sigh and follow Aizawa to the balcony. Maybe he's not at L's or Nate's level, but he is clever. He must have figured out that something is wrong.

"Anna...what's going on with L? He didn't mention the Death Note at all and practically hanged up the phone the same moment I mentioned the heart attack..."

"I know. I have no idea why he behaves like that. It looks like he is not really intentioned to take the case seriously"

"Wasn't he the one who wanted to join us?"

"Yes he was ok with letting you know about the Life Note!"

"Letting us know? That's different from taking on the case!"

"Just say what you got to say Aizawa!"

"Let me guess, in truth you were the one that wanted to investigate on the Life Note am I right?"

"Geez. Ok, I admit it... I was pushing him a little bit. I feel guilty for having lost the second notebook. He was not very interested to begin with"

It's impossible to keep a secret to this man. Aizawa's reproaching face is like a damn polygraph. It says 'I know you lie! I know that!'.

"Anna... Do you really think that he reacted like that just because he's not interested?"

"Well.. I guess so...why?"

"You really didn't notice a thing?! It's your damn husband! You usually are good in reading people! "

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

"Holy gosh...listen. You had years to digest what happened ok? He did not. Personally, I would freak out if I had to be killed, to be bringed back and then to be shot for no reason. Right now the last thing I would dream of is to deal again with a Death Note"

"Do you think that he's scared? Come on he would have said so if that was the case!"

"Not scared maybe, but honestly in his place I would expect my wife to take into account that I was murdered and maybe I'd rather not repeat the experience!"

"I would never want him to be murdered again!"

"Are you dumb?! Someone sent a hitman already! What the fuck are you thinking?!"

Aizawa's words hurt me. They stab me right in the heart.

Not because they are bad.

Because they are true.

Really...is not easy to read through L...But what the fuck was I thinking about?! I was so lost in my desire to redeem myself that I never ever considered to stop and figure out what L was going through. I failed my own husband. The man I claim so bluntly to love!

"Damn, thanks Aizawa...I gotta go home...I'm sorry"

I turn around and rush through the room and down the stairs, without bothering what the others might think.

If it wasn't for Aizawa when the heck was I going to wake up and quit behaving like a bitch?!

Without realizing it, at some point I started running. It feels like I suddenly felt the urge to see L. I know that even if I rush home that's not going to change a thing.

At this point the mess is done. But at least I want to be there. Why he always has to be cryptic?!

I feel people staring at me as I dribble men, women and children on the sidewalk. Thankfully the hotel is nearby my little house. Good for me that I stressed to move in Manhattan. Despite that, by the time I reach the elevator I am breathless.

Geez. I gotta start jogging.

"L!"

The door of the apartment is open. I shall remind L that normal thieves still exist in this world. Maybe not today, but still...

"L! Can we have a chat?"

No one answers.

I hear the stupid soundtrack of Super Mario playing in the living room.

"Turn off that stuff!"

No one's there.

The videogame's indeed playing but not L nor Raye or Candy are in the room.

"Guys quit playing hide and seek! I'm not in the mood!"

I am about to believe that Aizawa worried me for no reason. L just doesn't care. He always snobbed any case he was not immediately in love with. It is sure going to be like that, but I shall apologize the same.

"Fine let's play. Just scream hot-warm-cold- WAAAH!", I yell to to the empty room as I stumble over something.

"Geez guys! Don't leave things around on the floor! I fell like an idiot!"

I get back on my feet and massage my poor sore butt, trying to identify the damn object. A spray bottle. What the hell were they using this for? It's too small to be spray pan and too big to be some sample perfume Candy stole me.

I turn the object over my fingers to figure out the content and I must read twice to be sure to understand correctly.

Narcotic gas.

"L! KIDS! GAME OVER, ANSWER RIGHT NOW!"

I ran around the house, raiding every room. Everything is in place, no sign of fighting, no sign of my family being hidden anywhere.

I rush to the phone and I try to contact L on his mobile.

"Please answer, answer, answer..."

I hear it ringing in the kitchen.

I swear and dial another number.

"AIZAWA!"

"Anna?!"

"GET HERE RIGHT NOW!"

"Relax...what's going on?"

"RELAX MY ASS! I CANNOT FIND L AND THE KIDS!"

"Maybe they went outside-"

"I FOUND A FUCKING NARCOTIC SPRAY BOTTLE! L DOES NOT LEAVE THAT STUFF ON THE FLOOR FOR THE KIDS TO PLAY WITH SO GET YOUR BUTTS HERE! NOW!"

Somehow I manage to not throw the phone on the wall and instead I kick the damn spray bottle. That's not even the kind used by the Fbi.

Someone bringed his own equipment and didn't even bother to clean up.

If I only ran faster I could have seen something... someone.

But that's not the problem. I should have stayed quiet to begin with. I was not the one giving the Life Note to a psycho. It just disappeared.

I should have left the Japanese solving the case alone. To silence my conscience it was enough to make a call and inform them about the damn notebook thing.

But I cannot mind my own business. I must get my hands dirty or I am not happy otherwise!

I dragged L into this. I dragged my poor kids into this.

Suits me.

At least whoever was here preferred to knock them out with gas instead of killing them. It means that they need something from us. It means that my family is safe and sound for now.

It means that I can fight fire with fire.

At this point it's nonsense to start behaveing like a good girl.

I go back to the kitchen and switch on the computer.

Who came here had to find out our whereabouts. We made sure to not be followed. It means that someone located this computer.

Fine.

Whoever did so instigated the wrong hacker.