I'm back! I've gotta say, I think I'm getting into a little routine of sorts with my writing. I write one chapter, then immediately write the next one for another story, spend a few days there, then start the next one, and so on and so forth. I take about a day's break within each chapter, though. It's necessary. I need to charge up my batteries!
Anyway, Thanks to my reviewers for reviewing, you guys are awesome! I have come with the new chapter of Hanging in the Balance, which is a real treat for me, and for you.
Introducing, for the first time ever, present tense in Jacob's Point of View.
Read on and please review! Enjoy.
I sit in the hospital waiting room anxiously, my palms slightly sweaty, my leg shaking up and down on the floor. Serenity has been gone for about an hour and a half now. Not that I'm rushing her or anything. I mean, being soaked in blood can't be comfortable.
Even so, I'm wishing for her presence, her steadiness beside me and in the grip of her hand in mine. I am going insane at being separated for only an hour. That must be a sign of something.
Something hits me hard in the shoulder, and I am jarred out of my thoughts with the pain. I whip my head around, glare already in place. Leah glares right back at me, fist poised for another punch.
"Tapping your leg like that isn't going to make the time go by any faster, moron," she snarls at me. I am just about to snarl back at her, but then Jared pipes up.
"Yeah, man," he says from across the room. Kim sits on his lap, chewing her fingernails vigorously. "You're making me nervous."
Obviously this is worse than I thought. Jared almost never gets nervous.
"Imagine how Sam feels," Dawn mutters beside me. She sits hunched over in her seat, elbow on her knee to prop her chin up. She's rocking Milagros to sleep in her carrier with her foot.
I exhale a tired sigh. "Sorry," I say. I give them no explanation, and they don't ask for one. Everyone's attention is solely on waiting for news about Emily and her baby. I can't help but notice how significantly calmer everyone was when Serenity was here. Things feel more certain, calmer, and optimistic with her around, like there was a better chance things would go right. Serene. Just like her name, she infuses a degree of serenity and amity and assurance when things are tough and bleak.
God, when will she get back?
I decide I am too anxious and impatient to be sit still, so I get up to go walk around.
"I'll be back," I mutter. No one pays me any attention as I make my way to the elevators. I punch the button to call the elevator and wait for it to come, impatiently.
On the first floor, I continue my pacing, ignoring looks from the receptionists. After a few seconds, they continue packing up to leave, annoyed at me for the disruption. I feel a little guilty, so I walk a little closer to the glass front wall where the entrance is.
And then I see her. She stands outside before the doors, looking—no, squinting—up at another taller guy. There's recognition in her eyes and expression. Her lips form words that I can't interpret, but I think it's a name. The man, a tall guy in a doctor's uniform, jerks back, and then leans in closer, squinting at her, too. His lips form something, too, and I know this time that it's her name.
Serenity.
My face grows hot and my hands clench into fists as he brings up a hand and tucks away a lock of hair behind her ear. Her eyes flicker toward it, and her expression turns careful and uncertain for a second. He tilts her head this way and that, as if to see her in a better light, and her face suddenly breaks into a wide smile. My smile.
He smiles at her, too. "Serenity," I think he says. Who is this guy, putting his hands on my wife? And why isn't she telling him to stop? I'm just about to move and go out there, but then Serenity grabs his hand casually, pats it twice, and then drops it. He takes the hint, and I'm glad. I really don't want to make a scene; we'd get kicked out of the hospital for sure, and Serenity would not be happy with me.
She's still smiling, though. That smile, the one she usually saves for me and anyone else really close to her; a warm, relaxed, mischievous, lopsided grin, higher in the left corner of her mouth.
They engage in a short conversation, and at one point—a point I feel very proud in—she shows him her left hand, the wedding ring on her third finger. She looks proud and happy to have it there. He smiles and comments about it, but even I can tell he doesn't really mean it. Irritation flashes through me.
He starts talking casually about something, but I can't hear it because I'm still inside. Serenity nods along, smiling at him with a… happy twinkle in her eyes. Just as I start to feel a sinking feeling in my chest, her entire expression changes. Her eyes widen dramatically, and her jaw drops; she looks surprised and hopeful.
Her lips move rapidly, asking questions probably. He answers her, and she asks another question, but he hesitates. She suddenly grabs his hand and brings it to her face, looking at him pleadingly. Her lips move again.
He answers her; his answer must be what she was hoping for because she looks relieved, the tension leaking from her body. She lets him go, and he starts to walk backwards to leave, and she nods, smiling at him. She hugs herself, looking up at the sky, relief evident in her expression. Then she turns to come inside and halts suddenly when she catches sight of me.
She beings to smile, the corner of her mouth lifting a little, but something in my expression must not be right, because she freezes like that and just stares at me.
Serenity frowns and walks inside, coming to stop before me. I stand there, looking down at her as she stares up at me.
"Any news?" she asks finally. As if nothing out there had happened. As if it didn't matter.
Maybe it doesn't, a little voice says in the back of my head.
Or, the meaner part of me says back, maybe it really does mean something and she's trying to change the subject.
She's your wife, the other voice argued back. She wouldn't do that to you. She loves you.
"No," I say, before the argument in my head can go any further. Serenity shakes her head, the line between her eyebrows deepening.
"So you haven't heard anything while I was gone? Nothing at all?"
"Not a thing."
She exhales sharply, rubbing her forehead tiredly with the back of her hand.
"So who was that?" I ask, nodding toward the doors where they had talked. She glances over disinterestedly.
"An old friend of mine," she answers in a dismissive tone. "He works here for Dr. Cullen as an intern, I guess. Guess who his first patient is?"
"I don't know; who?"
"Emily Young Uley."
My eyes widen and my eyebrows shoot up. "Seriously?"
"Yeah," she nods emphatically. "That's why I was out there talking to him. He said the baby's fine, and so is she. I must've done something right, then."
"What's his name?" I ask her, trying to sound casual. I'm not sure I fool her, though, by her expression as she eyes me.
"Alec," she says. "Well, Alexander, really, but I call him Alec. I met him the first time I went to visit my mother's gravesite. His dad found me looking lost, so he took me to his house where his wife made their boys cheer me up. I haven't seen him in years."
"Oh."
She looks over at me, giving me a weird look. "Yeah, 'oh'. What did you think was going on?"
"Nothing," I say; but I sound too defensive, so she sees right through me. Sometimes I really hate how perceptive she is. She knows me too well.
"Uh-huh." She rolls her eyes.
"So," I try to change the subject. "Maybe we should get upstairs. I know Milagros probably woke up again. Dawn was trying to get her to sleep when I came down here."
Serenity's face brightens and she nods at me. "Yeah; let's go."
Up on the second floor, we step out of the elevator. Immediately when everyone sees her, the atmosphere of the room changes. Gone is the worrying, weary, restless taste that everyone carried; it's instantly replaced with hope, optimism, brightness; all because Serenity is here.
"Hey, guys," she greets everyone in a hushed voice. The silence is too heavy to want to break.
Everyone smiles a little, relieved that she is here at last. They all greet her back, and she moves to sit next to Dawn. Milagros is in her carrier still, but the blanket starts squirming and moving when Serenity sits down. As I sit beside her, Serenity lifts up the blanket to reveal a wide-eyed Milagros squirming inside.
The infant's eyes lock on Serenity, and the instant they do, she smiles a cute, toothless baby smile. Serenity smiles right back at her and reaches in to take her out. She settles her in her arms, easing the pacifier in Millie's mouth.
"Hey, baby," Serenity murmurs. "Did you miss me?"
The baby gurgles, almost as if in answer. Serenity chuckles, clicking her tongue as she rocks back and forth in the chair. Caring for children comes so naturally for her; she would have no problem raising Milagros at all.
"Excuse me, who is here for Mrs. Uley?"
Every head snaps up; under any other circumstances it would've been comical. But it's not.
The moment of truth has come.
"Uh, we all are, Doctor," Serenity answers. I can tell that everyone is glad she took the lead. Hell, I'm glad, too.
"Right, well, we just wanted to let you know that she is doing absolutely fine," the doctor said; the relief in the room was palpable. "She will just have to stay another two nights, just to be sure that nothing goes wrong. All right?"
"Yes," she says, grinning. She is standing up, with Millie in her arms. She looks like a mother already; for a moment I have to blink and rub my eyes. How things change…
"Wait," she says as if she just remembered something.
"Yes?"
"Can we see her?"
The doctor hesitates, and Serenity says, "Her husband has been waiting for a really long time. Can he at least see her? Both of them?"
"I suppose you can all see her," he replies, eliciting a hushed cheer from us, "but you must all stay quiet while you visit. The baby is in there, and the mother needs her rest. She's supposed to sleep in about an hour, if she hasn't already. By the way, who delivered the infant?"
"Oh, I did," Serenity says. She frowns. "Did I do something wrong?"
"Oh, no, surprisingly. Have you had any experience? About anything like this?"
"No, not at all. I only know how to bandage scrapes and some deep cuts, and how to clean them. I've never delivered a baby before." Her voice is so honest, so sincere you can't doubt it.
"Hmm," the doctor eyes her appreciatively. "Well, good job."
And with that, he walks away. Serenity follows him, and everyone gets up, taking her lead. He leads us to a hospital room with a curtain drawn halfway through the room to cover a bed on the far side of the room. In it sits Emily, looking much better than she had back at the house a few hours ago.
She looks up at us and smiles, eyes searching for Sam, who stand in the back. He pushes past me, kneeling by her side and taking her hand.
"How are you doing?" Emily asks him.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Sam laughs tiredly.
Emily laughs with him. "I guess so."
"Hey, Em," Serenity says. Emily turns her head, her smile widening.
"Serenity," she breathes. "Thank you so much, Serenity. I can't thank you enough for what you did for us. I can't repay you enough, either—,"
"No, Em, you don't have to repay me," Serenity interrupts. "I did this for you and for Sam Junior. That's more than enough payment."
"Nonsense," Emily scoffs. Everyone laughs softly.
"So where is he?" Leah says from somewhere behind me. "I wanna see my little nephew."
"Right here." Emily places her hand on a cart I didn't see before, and everyone comes to crowd around it.
Inside lies a small baby, swaddled in a blanket, resting peacefully. His tiny eyes are shut, and I think he's sleeping, but his eyes open suddenly as if he feels us looking down at him. His arms, which are out of the blanket, flail in acknowledgement of our presence. There's a green pacifier in his mouth, and he sucks on it vigorously.
"Isn't he the sweetest?" Emily says, her voice swelling with motherly love as she gazes at her son.
"He is," Kim agrees, smiling down at the baby.
"Alright, give him some space to breathe," Sam says; his words are joking, but his tone is not. Protective of his son already. I feel sorry for the boys who try to bully this kid.
"So what are you gonna name him?" Jared asks.
Emily's expression turns thoughtful. "Well, Sam and I had talked names a bit before he was born, and I think we settled on one that we both really liked." She looks at Sam. He nods.
"So his name is… Elijah Samuel Uley."
Appropriately, everyone 'oohed' and 'ahhed'.
"Elijah," Serenity mused. "I love it. It fits him so well, doesn't it?"
"Well," Emily smiles crookedly, "I think so."
"By the way, Serenity," Sam says suddenly, "we couldn't think of much of a way to thank you for helping us and delivering Elijah"—he smiles—"but we talked about it when you went downstairs to tell everyone about him."
"And?" Serenity asks uncertainly.
"We want you to be Elijah's godmother," Emily answers, making it sound like an offer.
Serenity's jaw drops open, and her eyes grow huge like saucers. "Really? Me? Be his… oh my God. Oh my God! Yeah, yeah, of course I will! Wow, thanks you two, really, I appreciate it so much…"
She stops there; the lump in her throat gets too much for her to talk over. A happy tear slides down her cheek, and she reaches up to swipe it away. She laughs thickly, looking down at Elijah in his cart. He stares calmly back at her.
"Leah," Emily says; she holds her free hand out to her. "Leah, come here."
Leah complies to her command silently, crossing the room and taking Emily's outstretched hand.
"We want you to be his second godmother, Leah. We know you'll do a great job; look at Seth. Not a bad bone in his body, that boy. Will you be his godmother, too?"
Leah, like Serenity, looks surprised. "Oh my God… Uh, yeah, yeah sure. I'll—I'll be his godmother…" she trails off, shock taking over. Leah—speechless for once. What a sight to behold.
"What, no godfathers?" Paul says jokingly. Emily rolls her eyes.
"He will have enough influence from you without you being his godfather, Paul. Any of you," she adds, looking at each of the pack individually. We duck our heads.
"But godmothers spoil!" protests Seth, who stands beside me with a frown on his face.
"Yeah, and godfathers rot," Serenity retorts. We all laugh.
"So, is that the verdict, then?" I ask, talking about the two-night stay.
Sam nods. "Yep," Emily replies. She doesn't sound happy, but not totally unhappy, either.
"This is going to be a long two days," Paul says.
~Two Days Later~
"Ready to get home, Mrs. Uley?" The nurse says, wheeling in a vacant wheelchair. Serenity and I stand by the door; we are driving them back to La Push.
"Absolutely, Carol," Emily says fervently. She is dressed in loose sweats and a tank top, her feet covered in polka dotted socks. She holds Elijah in her arms in a bundle of blankets; I feel sorry for the kid, as he must be hot in there.
Carol rolls Emily out into the hallway and into the elevator quickly. Serenity and I follow. On the first floor, Carol wheels her out of the hospital and gestures for us to lead the way to the car. It's a bit of a struggle to get them into the car, but we manage it, and Carol bids us a good night and goodbye.
The sun is long gone from the sky when we make it back to La Push. I've just stopped the engine when Sam and Emily's door bursts open, and everyone tumbles outside. What they're doing, I have no idea, and neither do Serenity and Emily from the looks of their faces.
"What the hell is going on?" Serenity muses out loud.
"Hell if I know," I say. I open the car door and get out, coming around to open Emily's. I help her out, and Serenity gets Elijah out of his carseat, carrying him over as we walk together up the driveway.
"WELCOME HOME!" Everybody shouts. Serenity spins around and hunches slightly over, as if to shield Elijah from everyone.
"Serenity, are you okay?" I ask, sounding a bit worried. And I am—she doesn't usually do that kind of thing…
"I am," she says crossly, "but Elijah's not! You guys aren't supposed to be so loud around him! Everyone from here to Port Angeles could hear you!"
As if on cue, Elijah lets out a loud, long mewl; I recognize this as his signal of the beginning of a fit. I remember hearing him go at it once when Serenity wasn't there at the hospital—taking care of college stuff and Milagros—and he was so loud when he cried. It took a while to make him stop, but he did eventually. He could go on for a long time.
Instinctively, Serenity starts bouncing him gently up and down in her arms, patting his bottom and shushing him gently.
"See-what-you-did? Sh-sh-sh…" She says the words in time with her shushes and bounces, somehow managing to make it sound accusatory.
"Sorry," everyone whispers loudly. She just rolls her eyes. They wave at her and Emily to come inside, and they do, though I have to help Emily because she is still new at trying to walk again after child birth without any medical equipment or drugs.
Inside are banners that say things like, 'WELCOME HOME!' or 'IT'S A BOY!' and 'CONGRATULATIONS!' There are even some blue balloons lying around the place. Sam steps forward and takes Emily out of my hands, welcoming her home in his own… way. Not images that I need.
"Welcome home, honey," he says after they break apart.
"Oh, I feel welcomed, alright," Emily replies.
"O-kay!" I say loudly so I don't hear anymore. "What's going on, now?"
Sam and Emily look at each other with thoughtful expressions. They turn back to me. "You guys can all just go home, now," Emily says.
I raise an eyebrow. "Really? You're just going to kick us out like that?"
"Well, I'm already home, and welcomed," she explains in a dismissive voice, "So you've all done your job. Thanks, really, I appreciate it, but I kind of just want to spend some alone time out of a hospital with my husband and son." She grins at the word "son."
"What? So all of this was for nothing? Really? You're going to do that to us? After all we did for you—and my wife delivered your son! We deserve—,"
"We deserve nothing!" Serenity says over me; she claps her hand over my mouth to cut me off. "Really, Jacob. They made me this kid's godmother. That's more than I could ever have hoped for. They deserve some alone time, anyway. Time to bond with their newborn son."
She hands Elijah over to Sam, who grins down at his son with pride and love. Something in my chest squeezes, but I don't know why. Maybe because Sam barely knew him for three days and already loved Elijah so completely, when I've known Milagros for almost a week and haven't even held her once. I don't know; it's just weird holding someone else's kid, let alone raising it because her mother didn't want her anymore.
But that wasn't right, either. Grace did want her; she just couldn't provide for her, couldn't give her the chance at life that she deserves. I know that. I just don't know what's wrong with me. It isn't like Serenity hasn't tried to get me to hold her; I've always made convenient excuses not to. She's noticed; she doesn't know why I won't hold our niece. It just feels… wrong.
"Let's all go home and get on with our lives," Serenity finishes, and I realize I just missed an entire speech. I nod, if only to look like I was paying attention, but I know I don't fool her. Her smirk says it all.
"Alright, I agree. Come on, people; I have a life to get on with," Paul says, puffing up his chest proudly.
"What life?" I snort; He punches me hard in the arm as I laugh, and I rub it, wincing in pain. We all file out of the house, saying our goodbyes as we go; I see Serenity hug both Sam and Emily, and she leans over to kiss Elijah's forehead before she walks quickly over to me and holds my hand in hers as we walk out the door.
The ride home is quiet, thoughtful. Milagros and Dawn sit in the back, and Millie makes idle gurgling noises and coos throughout the ride. Everyone is sleepy as we pile out of the car and into the house. Dawn goes to the downstairs guest room. Serenity had offered her the guest room because she didn't have anywhere else to stay. She'd accepted, saying she would clean up after herself and stay out our personal business. I knew that the last one was strictly to her definition of business. Forget what we thought; she is just too much like Serenity, who finds the loophole in everything.
Serenity and I go up the stairs, and Serenity puts Milagros in the second room up there; we put all of her stuff in there; clothes, toys, and furniture. We haven't painted it, but I know Serenity wants to soon.
I stand in the doorway of her room, watching as Serenity puts the sleeping baby in her crib. Milagros stirs slightly, whimpering softly. Serenity shushes her gently, patting her little back gently, since she was lying on her stomach. She murmurs to her softly, little assurances and affectionate words. She looks so beautiful in the dull glow of the heart-shaped pink nightlight, helping her niece to sleep.
"Goodnight, amorcito," she whispers lovingly. I envy how she loves Milagros already after barely finding out about her less than a month ago. Loving has always seemed to come easily for her. She finds the best in everyone.
She walks out of the room, taking my hand and leading me to our room. She shuts the door behind us. We change into our pajamas, me in my boxer shorts, and she in her shorts and tank top. In bed, she lies on her stomach and I lie on my back, staring at the ceiling.
"Life is like a rollercoaster," she says suddenly. Her voice is loud in the darkness of our bedroom.
"Really," I say. I wonder what she must have been thinking of to make this declaration.
"Yeah; our lives were spent readying ourselves for the big rollercoaster, riding the little kiddie rides until we were old enough for it. We'll go up, up, up until we reach the very top, and then it all comes down with all the loops and twists and turns until it stops and reaches the end."
I offer no other comment, silent for a minute. "So what now? What happens to everything now?"
"Now," she says, propping herself up on her elbows to look at me. She pauses, and leans over and presses her lips to mine in a sweet, loving kiss.
"Now, our rollercoaster begins."
So… what do you think? It was finished in two days, a new record! Please review, and would you mind coming up with TWO GIRL NAMES AND TWO BOY NAMES please?
Thanks!
Ciao!
~Alee V.
