- Long time no see, huh? Unfortunately that's what happens when you mix a thirty hour work week with full time education. I HAVE been writing, you'll be pleased to know, but mostly bits and bobs here and there. Come December I want to get on a writing drive, so more stuff then hopefully! Also tons of catching up to do reading wise. So if you've posted something, I'll get round to leaving a review some time soonish?
- Feros is done, finally. Kinda glad since this is the one 'big' mission I didn't have anything big planned out for, but I'm cautiously pleased with how it's turned out. But you might want to reread the last chapter or two for a bit of a refresher. It has been a while.
- Also just FYI, the short Dance Commander happens somewhere towards the end of this chapter. Also, I just want to say, the service history missions won't be addressed here, because they already happened in CH 4, 6 & 8 (?) of Triple Threat, y'know, if you fancy it. I'd suggest reading the whole thing, but then, I did write it. So Yeah. Onward!
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2183 CE - Attican Beta / Theseus System / Feros
Zhu's Hope Substructure
The squad crept down the steps, conscious of the painfully loud reverberation their boots caused, rattling off the concrete walls and high ceiling. Coming out into a large, abandoned cavern, Shepard's eyes were immediately drawn to the large, grotesque, beating heart... thing. Her macabre fascination so strong, she jumped at the harried voice that echoed around them. At first, she believed the thing was talking to them, before she recognised the slight accent belonging to Fai Dan. Coming to the parapet of the monstrosity's pit, Shepard leaned over the railing, her eyes scanning upward, looking for any sign of the wayward colony director. He poked his head over his own railing, wild eyes darting over her, several stories above.
"I-I tried to stop it! But I can't! It- It gets inside your head! You can't imagine the pain!"
Try me. The Commander's brow knit slightly in annoyance as another throb of pain made its presence known in her temples, yet another wave of nausea threatening to overpower her. Taking a moment to centre herself, she waited for the watering in her mouth to subside before she shouted up.
"Look, just come down and nobody else needs to-"
"No! I can change this! Make it right! It told me not to listen to your lies!"
Before she could retort further, Fai Dan vanished from the railing. Shepard made to spring back likewise, but stumbled, her face paling as a sheen of sweat appeared over her forehead. Catching the stumbling Commander, Garrus examined her with sharp eyes. Meeting his gaze with defiance in her own, Shepard quickly straightened her back. The room was spinning, forcing her to stay rooted to the spot. Before her companions could raise an eyebrow, a low guttural groan stole their attention. Glancing up nervously around them, they felt the complex shudder before the groan that reverberated through the concrete turned to a disconcerting squelch, as if something, or a great many somethings were being audibly, disgustingly discreted. Using the distraction, Shepard spun on her heel, hiding her face from her squad's worried glares before setting off at a fast pace for the stairs, making sure to keep the suspended monstrosity in the corner of her eye at all times.
Stopping, she raised her rifle as a shuffling figure appeared in the second floor's doorway. With Ash, Garrus and Liara flanking her, their guns trained likewise on the figure, she began slowly approaching the form.
"Sir? Stay calm. We can get you out of here safely and securely. Please put your ha- wait, Fai Dan?"
Responding to the name, the being's head shot up, fixing its glazed eyes upon the Commander. Managing little more than guttural growl, it drunkenly lunged forward. Taking an automatic step backward, Shepard squeezed her trigger finger, not releasing it until she could feel the warmth of the heat sink through her gauntlet.
The being fell. Edging closer to the corpse, Shepard flipped it over with a hesitant flick of her boot. She grimaced at the sight. Staring up at her was the vacant gaze of what appeared to be a poorly drawn reconstruction of Fai Dan; a child's first attempt with clay. The flesh was mottled and grey, and instead of blood it only oozed a strange, viscous fluid. Before the Commander could take in any more of the sight, she was distracted by another figure in the door way. Still drunkenly swaying, like the other being, but retaining a dignified grace that could only belong to an Asari. It remained half in shadow in the doorway as it spoke, an echoing rasp escaping her mouth.
"Invaders. Your every step is a transgression. You are not welcome here; you are useful only to dig or decompose."
Shepard squinted, perplexed as she was convinced she had finally lost her delicate grip on sanity. As if sensing her question, the being spoke once more.
"I speak for the Old Growth, as I did for Saren. You are within and before the Thorian. It commands you to be in awe."
Shepard couldn't control the snort that escaped her throat, failing to follow the Thorian's logic.
"You enslaved the colonists! You destroyed their minds. I should burn you where you stand - hang, whatever. But look, I'll show mercy if you just tell me what you gave Saren."
The Thorian responded, and Shepard could swear she detected a hint of amusement in its cavernous tones.
"The Thorian is a piece of this world, extending across the land back through the ages. You can no more kill it than cut the sky. Saren sought knowledge of those that were long gone. The Old Growth listened to flesh for the first time in that cycle. Trades were made. Then the cold ones began killing the flesh, so that they could tend to the next cycle. Flesh willingly given! It makes little Old Growth has decreed the air that flesh push are lies. It will listen no more."
The Asari thrall vanished into the doorway as groaning and creaking came from above, more monstrosities finding their feet. With nary a word said to one another, the Squad fanned out, moving methodically through the complex, navigating higher. The thralls, clearly still in their infancy, were unsteady on their legs and as such, bowled over like skittles from a well timed grenade or biotic blast. Ocassionally, the troupe would come across and make short work of a strange node that seemed to be secreting the monstrosities as well as keeping the growth suspended above its pit. Shepard only ran into trouble when crossing paths with the few Asari abominations that littered the complex. Rather than a tone of blue, the Asari took on a sickly green shade, their faces remaining as unfocused and vacant as those of the Fai Dan clones.
While they said nothing, the three squad members could feel Liara tensing as nerves riddled her being. Protectively, the group folded in slightly, as if physically moving to protect the apprehensive Maiden from the painfully familiar thralls.
Severing the last node, Shepard closed her eyes and listened for intermittent thuds as the giant growth plummeted down the central chamber, occasionally ricocheting off the pit's sides. Only when Williams approached them, did Shepard notice two bulbs protruding from the walls, vaguely humanoid shapes curled up foetally within. Ash tore open the first and the squad recoiled as one, as a pungent waft of rancid breath washed over them. Examining the corpse, it took Shepard several seconds to realise she wasn't looking at another Fai Dan imitation, but what was Fai Dan himself. The corpse appeared drained, white bone shining against dull flesh where digestive juices had eaten away at his once handsome features.
Recovering first, it was Garrus who set to work on ripping apart the other pod. Liara let out a small gasp as, instead of flopping limply onto the floor, this figure sprawled out, coughing as she scrunched up her face in an effort to keep the fluid out of her eyes. Standing, she gingerly wiped her hands over her face, revealing bleary eyes and raw skin. Sores marked her appearance intermittently, however it was apparent the Asari made for a tougher meal than the colonist. Out of the corner of her eye, Shepard saw as Liara took a step back as she paled, a nervous hand drawn up to her mouth. Her attention remained set on the new Asari however, fixing the stranger with a dark scowl, her expression unwavering as the Matron began to speak.
"I-I'm free? I suppose I should th-thank you for releasing me."
The whites of her eyes still tinged purple, she squinted at the team before dull recognition dawned over her features, along with a fresh welling of tears. The Commander remained stoic and impassive.
"How do I know this isn't some kind of trick?"
It was Liara who glared at the Commander, before moving to wrap the green Asari in a hug, ignoring the goo that bathed her. From over the Maiden's shoulder, the Asari shot Shepard an angry scowl.
"This is not a trick. The Thorian is dead and I am myself again. I am Shiala." She disentangled herself from Liara's embrace, a new nervousness taking over her as she refused to meet the younger Asari in the eye.
"I serve - served - with Matriarch Benezia. When she allied herself with Saren, so did I, Benezia foresaw the influence Saren would have. She joined him in order to guide him down a gentler path. But he is compelling." She offered an ineffectual shrug. " The Matriarch lost her way."
Shepard's brow furrowed.
"You're saying Saren controls minds?"
Shiala merely shook her head. "Benezia underestimated Saren. As did I. We came to believe in his cause and his goals. The strength of his influence in troubling."
Liara's shoulders slumped and she whispered, forlornly, the expression on her face making the pit of Shepard's stomach drop.
"Mother sought to turn the river and was swept away."
Alarms bells were ringing in the Commander's head. She swallowed, trying to process the information.
"But- Matriarchs are some of the most powerful beings in the galaxy? How could she just.. fall under Saren's control?"
"He-he has this vessel, an enormous warship unlike anything I've ever seen. He calls it Sovereign. It dominates the minds of his followers and they become... I don't know... indoctrinated to Saren's will. It's subtle, at first. It can take days, weeks, months- but in the end, it is absolute." Her pleading eyes became downcast as shame radiated from her being, voice weak with regret.
"I was a willing slave when he brought me here. He needed my mind to communicate with the Thorian and learn its secrets. He offered me in a trade. I was sacrificed to secure an alliance between Saren and the Thorian."
Liara stood, her eyes dark as she attempted to make sense of the situation. Shiala had been one of Mother's most trusted acolytes. She failed to comprehend a situation wherein Shiala would leave the Matriarch's services willingly, nor one in which Benezia would just... give her up. She swallowed heavily. Oh Mother... what have you gotten yourself into? Beside the young Asari, Shepard stood, unbelieving, before giving a derisive snort.
"Seems like Saren's pretty quick to betray his own people."
"He was quick to betray the Thorian, too. After he had what he wanted, her ordered the Geth to destroy all evidence of its existence. Saren knows you are searching for the Conduit. He knows you are following his steps. He attacked the Thorian so you could not gain the Cipher."
Shepard's eyes narrowed as she struggled to maintain concentration on the conversation, the blood pumping through her ears in time with the pounding that pulsed through her temples proving painful distractions.
"Look-I-What is the Cipher?" She eventually spat out, exasperated. "Why did Saren need it?"
"The Beacon on Eden Prime, it gave you visions. But they were unclear, confusing, sculpted for a Prothean mind. For one to truly comprehend them, you must think like a Prothean. You must understand their culture, their history, their very existence. The Thorian was here long before the Protheans built this city. It watched and studied them. When they died, it consumed them, assimilated them."
The Commander wiped a gauntlet blearily over her face, her vision dancing in front of her, wanting nothing more than to collapse into the nearest bed. Hell, even a stack of cardboard boxes would do.
"How can you teach someone to think like an extinct race?"
"Such knowledge cannot be taught. It simply exists."
"Whatever, look, all I know is that I need that knowledge to stop Saren."
Still standing, surrounded by the heavily armed party, Shiala thought for a moment, before her eyes shot hesitantly up to the Commander's.
"The-There is a way. I can transfer the knowledge from my mind to yours. As I did with Saren."
"No, surely you can't mean...?" Liara unconsciously stepped between the Human and the Asari, searching the Acolyte's gaze before turning questioningly to Shepard.
"A meld, Shepard. She will be in your mind. See all that is within you, your life, your experiences, your deepest fears and most closely held memories. Your very essence. Surely you of all people would not be comfortable with that?"
Shepard swayed slightly on the spot, struggling to keep focused on Liara's worried eyes and gave an ineffectual shrug.
"I-I'm not. But it's not like we have a choice, do we? I'm the one with the visions. I'm the one that needs the Cipher to understand them."
"She is right, Little Wing." Shiala placed a delicate hand on the younger Asari's shoulder. "But you need not worry. I shan't hurt her, or prey where I am unwelcome. It shall purely be a knowledge meld. Nothing more, nothing less. Unless you have a superior alternative?"
Liara stood with her mouth open, desperate to form words, thoughts to put a stop to the meld. After several seconds of fruitless searching, she rescinded, her frame slumping in defeat as she returned to her original position. Moving into the newly vacated space, Shiala joined hands with Shepard, touching foreheads while maintaining eye contact.
"Try to relax Commander. Let go of your physical shell..."
Shepard listened to the Acolytes words, her voice soft and soothing, lyrical and like honey in her ear. Shepard's breathing slowed as she could feel a drowsiness overcome her. A tingling rippled across her skin pleasantly as she could feel tickles of touch within her mind.
"...Embrace Eternity."
The Commander let out short gasp as icy pinpricks stabbed into her head, before the Beacon's visions exploded in front of her eyes once more. This time however, it appeared to be a more organised chaos. Fear still shot through her body at the sights but now it was less primal and infinitely more relatable. The sounds and smells contained within the vision were translated to those the Commander had experience with. Instead of the indescribably foul smelling something, Shepard was reminded of burning flesh mingling with smoke billowing in the air. For several seconds, her heart pounded, believing she was back on Torfan, across the street from the aflame Hospital. Before she could process the scene, it had shifted. Instead of shapes of unfathomable numbers raining death upon the Protheans, Shepard found herself outside the Gates of Elysium, watching with trepidation as Haliat and his slaver forces descended on the small Skyllian town. Before they managed to reach her, however, the sea of slavers swarmed, merging into the giant, unmistakable form of a Thresher Maw. The terrifying new fear of this unknown enemy Shepard had first felt upon discovering the species on Akuze flooded her senses as did her complete lack of knowledge on how best to combat the monstrosity. The feelings and senses began to merge, forming a sick menagerie of terror and uncertainty that gripped the Commander like a vice. Feeling as if she was drowning, Shepard began to thrash.
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Watching Shiala initiate the meld with Shepard, Liara felt a most curious sensation boil within her. For the first time, in a long time, the young Maiden found herself jealous. The meld was a deeply spiritual and personal experience and contrary to popular opinion, Asari did not enter into such unions lightly. Even a knowledge meld, the shallowest of all joinings, required utmost trust and previous intimate knowledge of the recipient. Liara greatly respected and trusted Shiala. and dare she say, possessed a platonic love for the Acolyte that had at several points, been more of a Mother to a youthful Liara than Benezia ever had. It also made logical sense that it was she who had to join with Shepard to impart the knowledge of the Cipher. Regardless, there was a small petty voice, whining at the back of Liara's mind that at the end of the day, it should have been her. Her to be the one that initiated Shepard's first meld, introducing her to one of the most basic tenets of Asari life. Although she showed no outwardly sign, Liara agreed with that voice and fed it encouragement.
It was Shepard who finally pulled Liara from herself indulgent thoughts, as she stumbled back, flailing, only to be caught by Garrus and his sharp reactions. To Liara's left, Ash scowled as her nostrils flared, her gun snapping to attention at the Acolyte even as she spoke to the Commander.
"What was that? Shepard, are you alright?"
Despite the muzzle pointed inches from her face, Shiala remained calm, her eyes glued to the dazed Commander.
"You have been given a great gift, the experience to share the information of an entire people. It will take time for your mind to process this information. I am sorry if you have suffered but it was the only way. You need the Cipher, and in time, it will help you understand the visions from the Beacon."
Opening her mouth to speak, Shepard immediately closed it once more, instead focusing on not losing her newly regained balance as she carefully stepped out from Garrus' grasp. Keeping a claw cautiously at her back, the Turian addressed the squad.
"Come on, let's get back to civilisation. I've had enough of ancient prophesies of death for one day."
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Regaining some of her former composure, Shepard listened to Shiala as she spoke, mostly to Liara, about the Matriarch and Saren, confirming several of her worst fears. As they began the lengthy ascent up the large set of stairs, the Commander finally spoke up.
"Hey, now that you're free of the Thorian, what's the plan? I mean, are you sure you're not - what - indoctrinated? anymore?"
Shiala immediately cowed, her face falling into a serious pout.
"If-If you will allow it, I would like to stay here with colonists. They have suffered greatly and I have played a critical role in their pain. I would like to make amends." She swallowed, fear flashing across her eyes. "However, I am well aware the risks I pose. While I feel free of both the Thorian and Saren, I understand that I may be mistaken. I-I also understand the... precautions that may have to be made-"
Shepard held up a hand, slowing her pace.
"Look, I'm not going to kill you. I've seen too much of that today. And the Colonists are in pretty bad shape. They'll need all the help they can get. I'm sure they'll be happy to have you on their side."
"I-I thank you, Commander!" A nervous grin spread across her rapidly flushing face. "You won't regret this."
Waving her away, Shepard stepped out into the blinding sun, her bleary eyes accustomed to the dank darkness of the pits below. Her fatigue made itself known once more, no longer willing to be pushed aside and ignored. Motioning Ashley towards Tali and the two new marines guarding the caged colonists, Shepard set off for the Normandy, Liara and Garrus in tow.
Stepping through the airlock, the Commander saw Kaidan reading a data pad at the entrance to the cockpit. Her and Liara's earlier conversation in the Mako came to the forefront of her mind and the revelation of the latter's crush flickered across consciousness. Upon seeing his Commanding Officer, Kaidan shot off a warm smile, immediately doused by Shepard's icy glare as she marched into the CIC. Confused, he met Liara's eyes who managed a more intensified pout, managing to unnerve Kaidan slightly. Last to appear was Garrus, who had watched the exchange, who met the marine's perplexed gaze with a sympathetic flaring of his mandibles and a small shrug, before he too departed down the CIC.
Kaidan watched as Shepard disappeared into the Debriefing Room and Liara down the stairs before shaking his head. Women. He snorted. And Not-Really-But-Kind-Of-Pretty-Much Women.
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Having deposited her armour swiftly in the cargo bay, Liara sat at the Mess Table, tea in hand and deep in thought, the day's excursion replaying through her mind's eye. Idly, she watched as Shepard trudged tiredly down the stairs, finally freed from the Council's Debrief and Liara's thoughts came to settle on their meeting with Shiala. Jealousy still bubbled away within her, but the scientist within the Asari began rapidly filtering ideas through her mind. Along with the Beacon, Shepard had the accumulated knowledge of the Protheans embedded in her mind, the very essence of their existence. And more data on their ultimate demise. Standing in front of her, carefully packing away her armour in her locker, was the richest fountain of knowledge Liara had come across in over fifty years of study, the closest she could ever hope to coming near a real live Prothean. It would be criminal to pass such an opportunity up. Plus, the petty, childish voice in her head chimed in. The Commander has already proven open to melding...
Setting her cup aside, Liara stood before carefully measuring her steps towards Shepard. Now only in her under suit, the Commander noted the Asari's approach, shooting her a hazy grin.
"'S'up, Blue? Since when did you take a level in bad ass? Those were some sweet moves out there. You kicked hell'a ass today!"
Liara did not return The Commander's grin, instead focusing on the light sheen of sweat that hung on her brow and pallid complexion of her skin. The woman looked sick.
"Shepard, are-are you alright? You look... pale. Are you suffering any ill effects from the Cipher?"
The Human snorted. "Nah," She shook her head, making a conscious effort not to acknowledge how it felt as if her brain was sloshing about in her skull. "Shook me up a bit. No biggie. I'll walk it off."
"'No Biggie'? A Geth Armature exploded inches from your face. You irreparably damaged hearing in your left ear and had the essence of a fifty thousand year old species implanted into your mind. How exactly do you plan to 'walk that off'?"
Shepard at least had the decency to look embarrassed, her eyes falling to the ground as she kicked at the metal tile with her foot. Not wanting to lose her nerve, Liara ploughed on.
"Actually, that was what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I might be able to help you make sense of the visions." She gave a bashful smile. "I am an expert on Protheans, after all. If I join my consciousness to yours, perhaps we can make better sense of this?"
Shepard's posture straightened as she examined Liara, but before she could give the offer much thought, the violent pounding in her head had decided for her.
"I-yeah, okay. Do it. But be careful, yeah? It kinda hurt when Shiala tried it."
Liara's brow knit as she mimicked the words and actions of the Acolyte. Melding shouldn't hurt. At least, not between two compatible souls. The petty child within felt a flare of vindication. She knew Shepard better than Shiala. She was infinitely better suited to meld with her. Goddess, you're going to meld with her. A knowledge meld, perhaps but following the Commander's revelation regarding Kaidan, she would take it.
Shepard felt the momentary thrust of weightlessness before the visions repeated. However, unlike with Shiala, the Commander wasn't merely being inundated with data. Instead she felt Liara beside her, within her, exploring and cataloguing the memories currently filtering through their consciousness, their combined minds halving the workload. Once again, the sights, smells and sounds were notably sharper and more apparent. The reek of burning flesh returned, stronger than it had ever originally been, making her gag. Overwhelmed and weakened by the strength of the memory, others began flooding her, the muddle of different fears and horrors bringing with them the drowning sensation. Liara, ever present, felt the Commander beginning to panic and swiftly extracted them from the vision and instead initiating another memory that radiated a more positive energy.
Shepard gasped. Taking a moment to centre herself, getting comfortable in her seat and examining her reflection in the dull terminal screen in front of her. She was greeted by her own face, younger, lacking the lines and creases that ten years of military life had wrung. She was more gaunt than she had been in a long time, before a steady supply of filling, if not nutritious Alliance rations allowed herself to build muscle mass. She felt the memory of uncertainty flash over her. There was a stark loneliness and fear of being unwanted that lingered in her person. Before she could ruminate further, she saw a movement in the nearby doorway, drawing her attention.
There stood a girl, slight in build and short in stature. Her delicate features and long, almost white hair giving her the appearance of child far younger than one would guess. Her eyes held a steadfast determination however, as she looked over Shepard, examining her. Taking the elder teenager's silence as an invitation to come in, Ivy moved closer, her eyes never leaving Shepard's face.
"You still thinking about what was said earlier?"
Shepard gave a small shrug in response, her eyes dropping to her lap. Ivy's brow furrowed as she chose her next words carefully.
"Look, David and Roo didn't mean it like that. Of course they don't want to 'get rid of you'. They," She swallowed, struggling to voice her thoughts without causing further offence. "They just want you to be happy. You're not happy here."
"Where would I be happy then?" Shepard bit back, her hackles raised. "I'm useless. If I'm not hurting people for money, I'm threatening to hurt people for money. David's actually setting up something legit here. It's just a matter of time before I fuck it up, get the police drawn here, or those goddamn Jaune assholes from Calais-"
"Alex, would you shut up for a minute?" Ivy gave a small laugh. "Let me speak, okay? We're not wanting to kick you out. Far from it. And you're not useless. Look at us. David, Roo, me, James and everyone else. Are you proud of us?"
"I-what?" Shepard screwed up her face, thrown off guard by the question. "Of course."
"Well you did that. Everything that we are today, who we are, is because of you. You manage to bring out the best in people, not just us. There's a reason Pitt puts you in charge of all the Reds' squad assignments." She sat down in a nearby seat, reclining. "Use that. You keep going on about how you're nothing more than thug, good only for fucking or fighting. So join the Alliance. You always wanted to travel right? Find your friend?"
Over the course of Ivy's spiel, Shepard's scowl had melted into a small pout. It was several moments before she spoke.
"You don't need me anymore." A small, rueful chuckle. "You're growing up. All of you."
Ivy responded with a small smile.
"That's what kids do." She sat forward, looking to inject some levity into the conversation, placing a delicate hand on the elder's knee. "Look, we go to Dodgy Dave from down the Arches, get him to knock together some papers by the weekend. You could pass for eighteen, right? First thing Monday, we'll get you down the recruiting office and by then end of the month, you'll be in Reykjavik, or Vladivostok or wherever it is they do army stuff." She waved her hand dismissively "I was never good at geology."
Not having the heart to correct her, Shepard merely welcomed her into her arms, feeling a calm warmth spread through her. Family. Safety. Even if she thought their opinions of her were wrong and false, they were there for her. Opening her eyes she spotted Liara, lingering in the doorway, watching the scene. Slowly her senses returned to her. This was a memory, she was on Feros and the images from the vision began seeping back into her psyche. Fear began to creep into her emotions. Sensing this, Liara stepped forward. Like a ghost, Shepard stepped through the still hugging Ivy and accepted the Asari's hand. A wave of confidence flowed from Liara to the Commander and with a deep breath, they delved back into the Vision.
It started off slowly enough, but Liara was soon overcome by Shepard's own fatigue. Struggling to keep back the torrent of images, Liara's barriers finally broke and the pair were buffeted by the full extent of the vision. The hospital once again assaulted their senses. The Thresher Maw diving for them, it's jaws open and rancid breath coating them in flecks of acidic spittle. Ivy, cold, pale and deathly still in Shepard's arms on dreary Elysian cobbles. Liara could only watch, powerless to help in any capacity.
And then it was over, with an almost audible thwump and they were back in the Mess Hall. Liara stared at nothing in particular as she attempted to process the information. A hesitant grin slowly spread across her face.
"That was incredible! All this time, all this research! Yet I never dreamed... I-I'm sorry. The images were so vivid. I never imagined the experience would be so... intense." Spinning around, she saw Ash, Garrus and Tali watching them, with various levels of amusement written across their faces. Ash raised a questioning eyebrow.
"Did you see anything?"
Liara nodded animatedly as she set off, her words running into each other as she failed to stop for breath.
"The beacon on Eden Prime must have been terribly damaged. Large parts of the vision is missing. The data transferred into the Commander's mind is incomplete."
"You sure you didn't come across any kind of clue or hint?" Garrus' mandible flared thoughtfully. "Something we might have missed?"
Liara's brow furrowed as she shook her head.
"Everything I saw, we already knew. She was right about the Reapers, the Protheans. And the conduit is most definitely connected, somehow. But there was nothing new to aid us."
"So what's our next move?" Tali's head cocked to the side as she folded her arms, leaning on the back of a nearby chair.
"Well, I was able to interpret the data relayed through her vision. What was there at least. But something was missing. Something instrumental. Saren must possess it. Perhaps he found another Beacon. If we can find the missing data from the Vision, I'm certain I could- Commander?"
Liara had turned around to address the Human once more, but stopped abruptly at the sight in front of her. Shepard's bulging eyes were glazed over, flicking rapidly from left to right as if reading fast scrolling text. She showed no sign of having listened, or even heard anything the Asari had said. Her face was ashen and sweat visibly ebbed its way down her forehead. It was the thin trickle of blood that appeared from her nose that finally jolted Liara into action, seizing the Commander by her shoulders. Her muttered speech became more frantic before she began to wretch. There was a flare of consciousness that sparked through her eyes, as she caught Liara's gaze, terrified, pleading, before she collapsed, darkness swallowing her.
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Shepard didn't despise hangovers like everyone else. Or, at least, she accepted them dutifully after a night of hard drinking, paying the toll for the previous' evenings shenanigans. What she did despise, however, was when the cosmic forces that be decided to bless her with one when she had done no drinking to earn it. That was beginning to happen a lot, lately. And Shepard was getting fed up.
She vaguely recalled waking up several hours before, but those memories were as reliable as the already fading visions from the Beacon. She lay for heaven knows how long, slowly allowing her senses to return to her. The smell of antiseptic filled her nose first, confirming she had somehow made it to the Med Bay. A few minutes later, she was aware of an unmistakable blue blur nestled in a chair at her bedside. Swallowing a few times to ensure her throat was in working order, Shepard eventually managed to speak, her voice little more than a croak.
"You checking up on me, Blue?"
The dozing Asari started awake, her large, lamp like eyes settling anxiously on the dishevelled Commander.
"Goddess, Shepard! You had me worried there, I- don't do that to me." She sighed, regaining her composure slightly. " Doctor Chakwas assured me you should be fine." Her head ducked slightly as a light purple spread across her cheeks. "I-I may have lost control slightly and pushed you slightly beyond your limits. I forgot that Humans do not meld like Asari. This would have been one of your first experiences, in addition to everything that already happened today, you were in no fit condition to meld. I- sorry."
Shepard managed a small smile and shake of her head. "Nonsense. I agreed to it, didn't I?"
Liara returned the smile, before the pair lapsed into a comfortable silence for several minutes. Shepard watched as the Asari at her bedside struggled to find her words, a query on the tip of her tongue.
"Can I ask you a question?" She finally said. Receiving a nod, she continued. "Your memories, your being, your mind - even when you were calm, everything moved so fast, and so... on edge. Do all humans live so hectically? I mean, I had heard the rumours and have worked with several humans in my time, but they are so hard for galactic races to take seriously. Everything about your species is so rushed and high strung."
Shepard gave a small shrug. "We don't have the luxury of time. We have to fit a thousand years worth of living into just over a hundred. And that's for the people who don't throw themselves in front of bullets and explosions as part of their nine to five. At this rate I'll be lucky to hit fifty."
Liara nodded, her stomach flipping unpleasantly at the thought of the Commander parting so soon. It felt wrong that someone so vivid and complex should have the lifespan of a mayfly.
"That is true. At first, I believed it to be a weakness of your species. But now, I think it may actually be an advantage. The experiences of your childhood could fill a book. I would struggle to amount a footnote." She saw Shepard's brow furrow, a retort on her lips, but Liara gave her no chance to interrupt. "You humans are creatures of action, none more so than you, Alex. You pursue your goal with an almost indomitable determination. It is an admirable trait. But also an intimidating one."
"You think I'm scary?" Shepard's features fell, disappointed in herself that Liara could entertain such a notion, and, as she was painfully aware, not without reason. Liara averted her gaze sheepishly.
"Unfortunately, the Galaxy sees Humanity as something of a bully. You run over anyone in your path to get what you want. It is up to people like you to change their minds, Shepard."
The Human sat, her face set in a contemplative frown. She didn't hear a 'no' in response to her question. "Well, I-I mean, I'm trying. I'm doing the best I can...but why just me?"
"There is a reason the Council chose you to become a Spectre. They saw something special in you - the best humanity has to offer."
Liara cleared her throat before speaking again, an audible waver in her voice.
"I-I looked into your history, while you were unconscious. What you did during the Blitz, it was a remarkable display of courage and heroism. And, I-I saw... Torfan and Akuze. I..." She trailed off, failing to verbalise the words. Shepard's stomach sank at the Asari's revelation, the gnawing fear that had accompanied her since rejoining with Liara swarming her mind. She knows what you've done. What you are. Already she could feel the shutters slamming down in her mind, a wall of anger rising for her to hide behind.
"You didn't need to go behind my back. You could have just asked." Shepard bit, glaring ferociously in the opposite direction of the Asari, afraid to look her in the eyes, of what she would find. As if reading her mind, Liara responded calmly, only the faintest hints of exasperation in her voice.
"You skirted around the topics before. I wanted to know more about you. To understand what made you into the woman you are. There is... something compelling about you, Shepard."
"You're just interested in me because of that damned Beacon. You just want to know more about the Protheans." Her angry glare flickered over to the Asari's knees, Shepard wanting nothing more than to disappear and be swallowed whole by the pillows behind her.
"No." Liara retorted, anger welling in her tones. "I'll admit, your connection with the Protheans does intrigue me. But... it's more than that. You're my friend. I'm worried about you, Alex. I see it. When you think no one is looking, the hatred-"
"I don't hate things!" Shepard's eyes finally shot up, wild, meeting Liara's own. "I never- I mean, once. Twice maybe I let it get the better of me, affect my judgement. But I don't make those decisions lightly. I make them because I have to. Because someone has to. Those children, on Torfan. They turned them into weapons. They had to die. That Hospital. if I left it, they would heal. Come back, stronger and angrier than before. I had to. For the greater good. I don't care if that makes me a- an abomination. A monster. I don't care if people hate me for it. I do what I have to do. No matter what that makes me."
A tense silence fell. Shepard hadn't noticed how heavily her heart was pumping until it began to calm. When her breathing relaxed, she spoke again, quiet.
"I understand if you want to leave. If you don't feel comfortable around me. We-we can drop you off on the Citadel. I won't hold it against you."
Liara remained quiet in her seat. A scowl began to formulate on the Commander's face.
"Aren't you going to-"
"No." She spoke calmly, but in a tone that brokered no argument and continued, as if the previous outburst had not taken place. "As I was saying, you have this look, when you think no one is watching. You hate yourself beyond belief. And it is ridiculous. Every decision you make, no matter how small, you examine under a microscope, judging yourself harshly at every turn. I do not doubt that you had your reasons for your actions. I trust that you strive to do your best, constantly and consistently and uphold your beliefs with utmost conviction. That is what made you a Spectre. That is what drives people to follow your every word. That is why you are brilliant. Why I and so many others throughout the Galaxy find you so... compelling."
Her tone softened, a weak smile spreading across her lips.
"It seems the only person incapable of seeing that is you. And No-" She added, sensing Shepard was about to speak. "-I do not hate you. I don't think I ever could. Quite the opposite, in fact."
"I... thank you." Shepard managed, lamely. Silence fell once more as the pair mulled over the freshly spoken words, oddly comforted by them. Her thoughts returned to the conversation in the Mako. Shepard had grown up fighting for anything and everything she wanted. She couldn't deny she wanted Liara. She swallowed, eventually deciding to throw caution to the wind.
"Hey, Liara-?"
The door to the Med Bay swished open, Chakwas and Kaidan entering, talking quietly, the Lieutenant possessing what appeared to be the onset symptoms of a migraine. Shepard's eyes flickered back to Liara, who was blooming in colour, her eyes glued to the new additions, before she wrenched her attention back to the Commander.
"Yes?"
"I-ah- nothing." Shepard muttered. "I'll save it for later." Seeing the blush on Liara's face at the appearance of her fellow marine, what little adrenaline fuelled confidence she had drained and a futile sense of foolishness trickled through her being.
"I-I should go." Liara murmured and Shepard gave a polite nod of her head, watching as the Asari vanished behind the door to her lab. With a heavy sigh, Shepard let her head fall back onto the pillow, willing the darkness to claim her again, if only for a little while.
