A/N - Unfortunately, we recently have lost in the Leonard & Penny community some wonderful people. I'm also at the part in my Grey's Anatomy re-watch where George dies and Izzie almost dies. Which gets my mind thinking about these things, and this fic is a product of that. So this little piece of writing is dedicated to our LP angels - to quote one of my favorite songs, "one by one, only the good die young... they're only flying too close to the sun".


Hey, you're allowed to move on, it's okay...

Because I'll be here

Even if you decide to get rid of my favorite sweater

Even if you go out on my birthday this year

Instead of sitting at home letting all of life's moments pass by

(I'll Be Here - Lisa Brescia, Ordinary Days)


"But... this is Mom's..." Isabel blinked up at her father.

"I know." Leonard smiled.

"She always wore it... you bought it for her - she told me..."

"She'd want you to have it." Leonard said confidently.

"I-" Isabel's voice cracked, lost for words.

"Is, you know that if she knew it was just sitting in the closet she'd complain it's such a waste of her favorite sweater. And she always wore it on her birthday, so I thought today... today she should be happy and someone should wear her sweater."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"Dad..." Unable to find the words to express herself, Isabel enveloped her father in a hug, Penny's sweater between them. Isabel reminded him of Penny in many ways, and her instinct to express herself through actions rather than words was one of them. When they eventually pulled apart, Isabel wiped at the tears in her eyes. "I just miss her... a lot, sometimes."

"Hey, it's okay. I miss her too." Leonard gently rubbed away the tears from her cheeks and tucked her hair behind her ears.

His gesture reminded Isabel so much of those times she'd seen this tender exchange between her parents; when he comforted her after a long day at work, when it was New Year approaching midnight, when they'd gone to visit Aunt Amy in the hospital when she'd given birth. Sometimes he'd done it for her as well, but it reminded Isabel so much of their mother.

"Remember that video, where on Mom's birthday Joey blew out the candles on her cake?"

"Yeah... Joe really wanted to just get to the cake part already." Leonard smiled. He watched those old videos from Penny's birthdays which had been celebrated as a family every year - it had gotten easier, but it helped him get through the day.

"I hope Amy and Bernadette made a cake." Isabel said. "Mom always said they were really creative with them - that they even made a Death Star one. She showed me a photo."

"Huh. I didn't even know she had a photo of the Death Star cake." Leonard chuckled fondly. "We'll see when we get there. It'll be nice to celebrate her birthday with others again."

With a sad smile, Isabel looked up at her father. "I'm proud of you. She'd want you to still do something on her birthday. She wouldn't want you to be lonely."

"Yeah. I guess."

There was a reflective pause in their conversation, Leonard thinking back over the birthdays he'd celebrated with Penny and Isabel and Joey, and the ones his children would remember celebrating with their mother. And the birthdays Isabel and Joey would spend without their mother... those special moments stolen from his family, his friends... from him. Those moments he thought he'd always have Penny around to celebrate with.

Not wanting to think too deeply about these things right now, Leonard thought back to the Death Star cake and a conversation he'd had with Penny when they'd gotten home flitted into his mind.

"You know, before... before any of this happened... we'd only really talked about dying once."

"Really? You spoke about that kinda stuff?" Isabel frowned. She couldn't imagine having that kind of conversation with anybody. It still wasn't something she was entirely comfortable with.

"Yeah. We went to a funeral together and..." Leonard paused to give a small laugh and shook his head. "You know, it wasn't a serious thing, but actually Mom proposed to me twice that day."

"Twice? At a funeral? Really, Mom?"

"Yeah." Leonard nodded. "But anyway, that's not the point. When we got home we just lay there talking about... about what we'd do if one of us died. What we'd regret. Those kinds of things. And... it's weird to think about, because when it actually happens you realize how much more difficult it is to do all those things. Like, she wanted me to promise I'd still watch Game of Thrones so if she was a ghost she could come back and watch it with me. And I told her she'd better still make French Toast - and then we argued about that thing in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets where there's food at Nearly Headless Nick's party, and if I'd even be able to taste it as a ghost. But we were both insistent that we'd want the other to find someone else... so we wouldn't be alone, unhappy for the rest of our lives. Which makes sense. But it's... it's not as easy as it sounds."

"Hey, you still watch Game of Thrones with a two-person portion of popcorn, so you stuck to your promise. And... I know for sure Mom wouldn't want you to be on your own forever." Isabel smiled.

"Why?"

"Because - remember when I'd broken up with Alex? She told me about when you guys were broken up and you were dating Uncle Raj's sister." Isabel pulled a face to express how much the idea of that freaked her out. "And in that moment I knew all she wants is for you to be happy. Kinda like when you'd make us watch Star Wars and she'd complain that it's boring and you shouldn't be allowed to be in charge of picking movies ever, even when it's your turn, but she'd still watch it every single time and quote it to Joey because it always made him laugh when she did the impressions. And every May 4th, we all had Chewbacca cookies in our lunch boxes."

"Oh yeah." Leonard's heart swelled at the memory of the Chewbacca cookies. They were far from the tastiest cookies, and he had teased her every year about them, but he loved them. "Hey, did you want to invite Alex today?"

Isabel shrugged shyly. "I... I don't know." She had been trying to work out if it was appropriate to bring her boyfriend to a gathering in honor of her Mom's birthday.

"She wouldn't want you to be alone either, Izzie."