"How close are you to Doctor Huang?" Rebecca Hendricks asked Elliot.
"Not… I mean… We aren't friends in the classic sense. But he's helped me a lot and saved my ass even more."
"Tell me about him."
"He's compassionate, good with vics. We all are, but what's special about him is, even though he hates the crimes we deal with, he treats the perps. We hate them; we're more than happy to forget about them once they go to jail or a mental institute. He doesn't see it as black-and-white, they're bad no matter what once they commit a crime. He sees them as people. He's just so… altruistic."
"It takes a special person to do that," she agreed.
"He just never loses it. Never gets upset. Well, actually, he did once."
"What happened?"
"I took advantage of a suspect's schizophrenia to coerce his confession," Elliot admitted. He was still ashamed of doing that.
"So the only time he's gotten angry has been on behalf of others."
"Yeah."
"How do you think he's coping with what happened to him now?"
"I don't know."
"Have you seen him?"
"Yes."
She looked at him inquiringly. "How was he?"
"He was in bad shape. I rode with him in the ambulance and he had marks everywhere. He was septic, and even when he woke up, he wasn't good- he's almost always sleeping. I've never seen him exhausted at all, let alone lethargic."
"Sepsis does take quite a toll on the body."
"Yeah. I'm just not used to seeing him…"
"Seeing him with human weaknesses?"
"I guess so."
"How do you think his mental health is?"
"He's not really himself."
"That's to be expected. You know how victims are; their world has gone so wrong they're not sure if they'll ever be the same again, and it's even worse for those that have been tortured. Has he talked to you?"
"Yes."
"What did he say?"
"Once, he was semi-delirious and he said he thought he was dreaming."
"Why?"
"Because he wasn't being tortured anymore."
"That must've been hard to hear."
"It was. I felt terrible. I didn't have a lot of time to think about it, though."
"Why?"
"Because then he told me he was in love with me."
"Did he mean it?"
"Yeah. I talked to him a few days later."
"Do you reciprocate the feelings?"
"Yes."
"Even though you've never identified as gay before?"
"It's odd but it's the truth," Elliot said forcefully.
"Have you told him that?"
"Yeah."
"Are you sure it's not desire to protect him?"
"Yes, I thought about it a lot. I think it just took this to bring into light."
"Where are you going from here?"
"I told him he needed time to recover before he made any decisions."
"He does."
"He has a long way to go."
"Do you want to be a part of his recovery?"
"Of course. I just can't as his lover, yet," Elliot stated.
"Do you think you can handle it? I've seen you use everything you have to help others until there's nothing left for you. Someone with George's injuries is bound to be a drain- no offense meant, of course. He's been through hell, and I don't minimize that. But he will take a lot of energy to help. In addition, you mentioned you want to be his lover someday. Are you ready to deal with the emotional burden the changes will place on you?"
"If George is there, I can deal with it."
"He gives you drive."
"Yes." There was a pause for a moment before Elliot continued, "I'm almost afraid of catching the guys that did this. I'm not sure if George could handle testifying, and I think I might hurt any suspect we catch. Part of me wants to hand this case to another unit, part of me wants to find the bastards that did this myself and hurt them."
"Have you been working on your anger management?"
"Yeah."
She looked at him for a moment. "That's enough for this session. I want to see you again though."
"Ok," he said as he walked out the door.
