To Be a Host

Chapter Nine: Attack of the Lobelians

Ryoku and Haruhi where walking back to their school with bags full of instant coffee in their hands. "Hey Ryoku?" Haruhi called for her brother's attention.

"Yeah?" The boy asked.

"Before I left a few girl talked to me about the twins."

"Really?"

The girl nodded and continued. "They said after we came along the twins seemed to be coming out of their shell more."

Ryoku took a sideways glance towards his sister, who was smiling faintly at the thought. "I don't think it's the both of us that made them change so muc09h." He said.

"What?"

Before Haruhi could get her answer, she felt her foot slip on a banana peel. Ryoku reached out to catch her, but he felt him being pushed down and a poised foot aimed directly at his stomach. "What?" Was all he could mutter before the wind was knocked out of him.

"It would be a shame if that pretty little face where to be hurt, young lady." A new voice said.

Haruhi looked up in surprise. A moment of silence passed before a groan filled the air. "I'm sorry miss, but could you please get off. It's hard to breath with your foot on my stomach." Ryoku said.


Two girls walked down the hallway, red, knee length skirts swishing as they walked. Whispers fallowed them through the halls while they made their way to a certain music room.

When they opened the door, six knights in shining armor sat on a couch. Tamaki stood with his sword drawn. "Well, well, well, I see you ladies are from another school." He said. "I certainly hope we haven't startled you. We love first time guests. I'm glad you've come princesses. My darlings, even if the world where to be destroyed, I would put my life on the line as your faithful knight and servant. I will protect you." Tamaki finished dramatically, while kneeling.

The girl to the left, with light tan hair that stopped just under her shoulders scoffed. "Oh my. Do you really think that you would be able to protect us? That's awfully arrogant of you, wouldn't you agree? You think that's what a woman wants to hear? Well your wrong."

"C'mon Sister Suzuran. Give them a break." The girl to the right said. This girl was slightly shorter than her companion and had a rusty brown colored bob cut. "After all, men are just lower life forms who don't care about anything but their testosterone latent image. By protecting us, he's actually attempting to disguise the fact that he's weak and even unable to protect himself."

"Your such a clever girl Hinagiku."

Tamaki stood up and started to tap his shoulder with his sword. "Don't you think that's a little harsh? Fine then. What do women like you want to hear?"

"Maybe something like, I would never leave my lover alone." The group turned to see a woman in the same uniform as the two girls, holding Haruhi to her side with one arm and an uncomfortable looking Ryoku barely holding two bags of instant coffee in his hands behind them.

The woman continued to speak. "If we fight, we fight together. If we fail, we fail together. Even if I where to die, I promise I would never leave your side, my love." The woman laid a light kiss on the back of Haruhi's hand. The panicked scream of Tamaki could be heard throughout the room.

"Oh there you are Benibara. We thought you would never show." Said the shortest girl.

"Honestly, what are we going to do with you?" Her companion asked. "So tell us where you found this lovely young lady."

"I just met her outside of the school." The woman said. "She may be dressed as a boy. but I knew the truth. She has such maidenly eyes."

"U-uh, thanks." Was all that Haruhi could say.

"Wow! And her skin is amazingly soft." The two girls began to stroke Haruhi's leg and arm.

"This one is going to a be a little diamond in the rough."

"Don't go touching my Haruhi without my permission!" An enraged Tamaki came running up to the girls at full speed.

Both Ryoku and Benio punched the oncoming blond in the face. "You will leave her alone!" Exclaimed Benio, while Ryoku yelled "What do you mean without your permission?!"

The trio of girls turned toward the red haired host and asked. "And exactly who are you?"

"Oh, I'm this girl's brother, Ryoku Fujioka. It's nice to meet you." The boy bent at the waist for a small bow.

Benio did a small 'hmph' and turned to face a crying Tamaki and the rest of the hosts who where trying to comfort him.

"Guess the rumors where true." Benio started. "Yo guys are just a bunch of weak little punks with no sense between you."

Kyoya took a sharp look at them and straightened his glasses. "Those uniforms. I assume you ladies are from the Lobelia Girls Academy?"

"That's correct."

With a swish of a wrist three uniforms where thrown into the air and the lights turned off. A single spotlight shone down on Benio, who was now wearing a purple suit and had a white lily in her mouth. "Lobelia." Her voice rang out.

A second spotlight to the woman's right turned on and showed Chizuru in a white and baby blue dress. "Lobelia." She sang in a slightly higher pitch.

Finally the third spotlight showed Hinako wearing a short, pink dress. "Lobelia." She sung with the highest pitch.

"We are all part of the White Lily League. Also known as, The Zuka Club!" Benio finished with all three of them in dresses with a feathery back.

A silence filled the room before the twins burst out into laughter. "The Zuka club?! What kind of name is that?" Hikaru laughed as tears formed in his eyes.

"My stomach hurts!" Kaoru gasped.

"And they had those get-ups under their uniforms.

"You shouldn't underestimate the Zuka club!" The voice of Renge resounded around. The familiar hum of the powerful motor, supposedly, underneath the club room churned and pushed the column up with Renge on top in a traditional Japanese kimono, with a red umbrella for the background.

"I may not know much about instant coffee, but I know a thing or two about girl's schools." Renge took a sip of instant coffee from the cup in her hand. She chocked on the taste, but quickly recovered.

"St. Lobelia Academy! It is truly a woman's world there. The Zuka club is made up of strong, young maidens, who believe that women are superior to men in every way. The club prides itself with its thirty year history. It's a society by maidens, of maidens, for maidens. Zuka club activities include; maiden tea parties, the maiden debate form, and most importantly, the musical reviews performed by the club's top members."

"You sure have a vast wealth of knowledge, Renge." Commented Kyoya, as he took off his armor.

"Well. I've always admired St. Lobelia, but I just couldn't go to school there. What would I do without any boys?" Renge added before descending back into the floor.

"Isn't this the second floor? How do we have room for a rig like that?" Ryoku asked.

"I'm surprised your still questioning it." Kyoya answered while straightening his glasses.

The three girls continued to monologue about the fairness of maidens as Ryoku has handed a fan and dragged over to the sleeping president. Ryoku moved his wrist in a swift motion, in hopes, although not really, of reviving Tamaki.

"Right now our president is bedridden from culture shock." Kyoya explained to the challenging girls from Lobelia.

"Tama-chan is having his nappy time right now." Honey put into simpler terms.

A vein popped from Benio's head. "Wake him up!"

The clink of a tea set was heard as Haruhi appeared with a tray in her hands. "I made some coffee. Would you ladies like some?" The girl offered.

"Why thank you, young lady." The tall woman gracefully took the cup from the tray.

"Truly a pearl among swine." Commented Chizuru.

"Coffee made by a maiden carries such a fragrant aroma."

"Oh please, it's just instant coffee." Haruhi said nervously.

"Why don't the three of us girls have a tea party?" Hinako chirped.

Tamaki suddenly jumped up from his spot on the couch and ran towards the group of four. "There is nothing to be gained from a romantic relationship between two women! If that where the case, then why would would God create Adam and Eve!"

The blonde boy lurched forward, but out of nowhere the faint echo of a monkey could be heard as Tamaki slipped on a banana peel. The blonde had the unfortunate luck to land his finger in a cup of hot instant coffee. Ryoku immediately slipped by and quickly switched the cup with a new one.

"We don't want his stupidity to spread." The boy muttered to himself.

Tamaki lurched back in pain and blew on his finger to help it cool. Haruhi sighed as she walked over and took out a role of bandage tape. "You've got to be more careful sempai." The girl said.

The blonde looked at his now bandaged hand. "Thanks Haruhi. Do you usually carry around bandages with you?"

"Na. The supermarket was giving them out with the purchase of instant coffee. You always get free stuff at the supermarket."

"This conversation doesn't seem to be going anywhere." Benio interrupted the talk between the two hosts. She grabbed the arm of Haruhi and pulled her up. The shorter of the two girl ended up awkwardly leaning against the taller's body.

"Now that we know what goes on, we can't allow the this maiden to stay here. We'll prepare her papers and have her transferred to Lobelia at once and we'll welcome her into the Zuka club.

Almost every pair of eyes in the Host club widened.

Haruhi pulled away form the Benio. "Hey. Just wait a second. There seems to have been a misunderstanding here. I mean, you called Tamaki-sempai a half-er." The girl said.

"That's because he is one. He's half French and half Japanese." Honey said.

"Um, well calling out on the Host club just because they don't have the same history as you do isn't really fair."

"He barely have any history. We where just founded two years ago." Mentioned Hikaru.

"Yeah. The boss founded created it when he started attending high school here." Kaoru reminisced.

Haruhi deflated a bit in her attempts to defend her club. "Well be that as it may, saying that club activities are only to satisfy their personal appetites is going a bit to far. It's not like the Host club is charging it's guests or anything."

"Well I wouldn't call it charging, but we do have a point system. We offer special hosting sessions based on the winning bids of the online auction. Check it out Haruhi, Your used mechanical pencil just sold for a winning bid of thirty thousand yen. Good for you." Kyoya showed the screen of his laptop to reveal a picture of a mechanical pencil and an image over it saying 'sold out'.

The brunet ran towards the screen and stared wide eyed. "What?! But I thought I'd lost that pencil! Why didn't you tell me this earlier, Kyoya-sempai? I had no idea that you where collecting money."

"So you thought that we where all working here as volunteers? Well it's not much because of the expense of organizing events, we happen to make a small profit from the online auction." Kyoya explained calmly.

"You can't sell other people's things without asking permission! That's stealing!"

"It wasn't stealing. You dropped that pencil on the floor." The twins defended. They immediately pretended to be innocent as Haruhi sent them a glare.

"Hey Kyoya, as long as your selling our stuff, could the money be used to pay off our debt?" Ryoku tried to reason.

"No." Was the quick and definite answer.

Tamaki ran up to Haruhi with tears roaring down his face. "I'm sorry, Haruhi. It's not like we where hiding it from you. Here you can have mine instead! It's got a cute teddy bear on it." The blonde held up his pencil that had a bear head for an eraser.

"Sorry Sempai. I don't want your pencil." Haruhi replied bluntly.

"Then I'll make it up to you, I'll tell you all the secrets to my success and my fondest memories."

"Not to be rude Sempai, but I'm not interested in that kind of information."

Tamaki pulled back in a horrified manner. "Not. . . interested?" He whispered. The poor blonde retreated to his corner to sulk.

"You poor thing. Being deceived like that." Chizuru tried to comfort the girl.

"Hey I know. How about you ditch those losers and come with us." Said Hinako.

"Hold on Hinagiku." Benio halted the girl. "This young maiden has had quiet the day. We'll give you some time to think about it. I'll come for your answer tomorrow." The Lobelia third year laid a quick pat on Haruhi's shoulder.

"Until then, adieu." The three girls twirled their way out of the club room and into the hallway.

Haruhi stood near the windows, head tilted forwards so that her hair shadowed her eyes.. She then turned sharply towards the other hosts, who stiffened, besides Ryoku.

"I better be going. I've got some thinking to do." She said as she exited the room.

Tamaki burst into hysteria. "Why did you guys have to tell her the truth! You only put more fuel on the fire!"

"Maybe we should have asked before we sold her pencil on the internet." Honey said.

"Who knows. For all we know that pencil was a keepsake from her mother." Kaoru contemplated the idea.

Ryoku sat down at a table and poured himself some instant coffee. "No. It was just a freebie we got from an electronics store." He said.

Tamaki turned to face the window. "Think about it, gentlemen. Haruhi may be basically indifferent, but if she had to decide, she does prefer mans clothing. Besides when she first joined the Host club, didn't she tell us that she wouldn't mind being fawned over by girls? Why didn't I realize this before? Perhaps Haruhi would be better off with the Zuka club."

Realization hit the other hosts.

"Now that you think about, Haruhi really does seem to fit in an all girls school." Hikaru said shakily.

Honey began to panic. "Haru-chan is going to transfer away!"

"Haruhi's so smart that she could easily pass the Lobelia's scholarship test." Kaoru said.

"And the school has enough money to pay off her and Ryoku's debt." Calculated Kyoya.

"All of you guys are overestimating this whole thing." Ryoku said as he finished of his drink. "I already know Haruhi's decision. So you guys don't have to worry."

"Care to elaborate your knowledge?" Kyoya asked.

"That would bring all the fun out of your struggle."

"What if your guess is wrong? Don't you care if Haruhi transfers to Lobelia, Ryoku-sempai?" Hikaru questioned.

"Whether or not my guess is right or wrong has nothing to do with the matter. Sure, if Haruhi decides to transfer I would miss her and would have to be stuck with you guys by myself, but I will not interfere with her choice. I believe that it's up to her how she runs her life. On the bright side she would be away from that idiot of a president." The red haired boy thrust his thumb towards Tamaki.

"Who are you calling an idiot?" Said student demanded.

"I should be going. See you guys tomorrow." Ryoku casually walked out of the room.

Tamaki cleared his throat and said "Well, if Ryoku's guess is indeed incorrect, I have a plan to ensure that Haruhi will stay."


The Next Day

Haruhi and Ryoku made their way to the Host club room. As the two got closer three familiar Lobelia students stood in their way, their backs facing them.

"Hello, young maiden." Benio turned around first.

"We've come for your decision. Are you prepared to leave?" Hinako second.

"We're ready to confront those Ouran Host club idiots and set things straight once and for all." Chizuru last.

"Set what straight?" Haruhi asked.

"That you should come with us and that you should go to school with your own kind." Benio explained as she dragged Haruhi away. Ryoku sprinted to keep up with the moving group of girls.

When they arrived and as they opened the doors they where met with a dark room.

A moment of silence passed before a figure stood. "Ouran!" They sang.

"Ouran!" Another figure stood, the voice sounding almost identical to the one before it.

"Ouran." This time the voice was deep and monotonous.

"Ouran." A smooth voice rang.

"Ouran!" This voice was the highest out of all of them.

The lights turned on to reveal the hosts in ball room dresses and terribly put on make up.

"Ouran!" Tamaki was the last to stand as he spread his arms in a grand manner.

"Host club, welcomes you!" They all finished together.

The four students standing in the doorway stood there in shock.

"Oh, Haruhi. How wonderful it is to see you again." Tamaki was the first to approach. He talked in a higher pitched voice than usual, in means of making himself sound more feminine.

"Haru-chan! Haru-chan! Look! I'm a princess now. Aren't I cute?" Honey asked.

Benio took a step forward in anger. "What is the meaning of this? Are you making fun of woman kind?" She yelled.

"What? No, that's not what we're trying to do at all. Everything is going according to plan. This plan is guaranteed to make even a crying child smile. The Freebie campaign." Tamaki posed to make the image more persuasive for the female commoner.

"You ladies lived sheltered lives at Lobelia Academy. So you might not know that commoners are weak. They have a weakness for free things. Haruhi, you may be distracted by the Zuka club, but choose us and not only get a host club full of brothers, but sisters as well. See? This way you can get feminine bonding while staying in the Host club. Isn't that a great idea? Aren't I pretty?"

The twins slid into view. "We're the Hitachin Sisters. Which one of us is prettier?" The two talked in unison.

"Oh, I'm just joking. You don't have to choose." Hikaru said.

Kaoru laughed in a terribly disguised female voice.

"Listen Haru-chan! You can call me Big Sis from now on." Honey told the girl from behind his fan.

Mori and Kyoya just posed as the taller of the two shook their tambourine.

"Do you idiots really think you can win her over like this? I've had enough of your fooling around!" Benio yelled.

All the sudden the commoner siblings finally snapped out of their shock and began to laugh their guts out. "This is to much." Haruhi gasped through her laughs. "What where even they trying to do?" She asked her brother.

"We knew you guys where a bunch of goofballs, but geez!"

Ryoku straightened up as he patted his sister on the back. "Really. When I said I wanted to get fun out of your struggle, I didn't realize you would take it this far."

"Are we really that funny?" The twins and Honey asked, pushing themselves closer towards the Fujioka siblings. Haruhi only laughed harder as she tried to get away from the make up stained faces of the three hosts. "Call us Big Sister. C'mon, do it. Say it." They pressed until the brunet pushed their heads away.

"Why are you doing this? What's gotten into you guys?" She asked.

"We did so you wouldn't leave the Host club, Haruhi." Hikaru explained.

Haruhi's eyes widened before melting into a warm smile. She pulled herself up and dusted of her pants.

"So, have you made your decision?" Benio asked in a defeated manner, already knowing the girl's reply.

"Yeah. I have. Your club is just not for me. I think the idea of a girls school is great and your views are very unique and interesting, but I came to this school with a goal and a plan for my future, So while I appreciate your offer, I already knew that I would never leave Ouran Academy."

"Haruhi!" Tamaki cried in delight. A thought then occurred to him. "Hold on a minute. If you weren't planing on moving then why did you act so angry yesterday?"

"How would yo feel if I took something of yours without asking first? I really liked that pencil! It was easy to wright with." Haruhi argued back.

Tamaki paused. "I'm sorry, but I was nice and offered you my teddy bear pencil and you said you didn't want it."

"Yeah, and I still don't want it."

"We still haven't given up on you, young maiden." Benio interrupted the small banter between the two. "I promise you that one day we will save you from this Host club and have you join us. Until then, adieu."

The three Lobelians, once again, twirled out of the room, but almost as soon as they left, three banana peel just so happened to be in their way.

The doors closed and Renge emerged from the floor behind them. "A new enemy has appeared. What will happen to our Host club next? Don't give up boys. I'm rooting for you." She declared. The column disappeared into the floor.

"Ryoku." Kyoya called.

"Yes?" The boy responded.

"Yesterday, I said the Lobelia had enough money to pay off your debt, but you said if Haruhi left you would have to deal with us alone. You do realize that you could have just left us."

Ryoku contemplated his words before saying "But if I had left, I wouldn't have as much entertainment as I get with you guys."

'And I might actually find myself missing this place.' Ryoku thought to himself, but of course, he would never admit it out loud.


Done~ I'm so happy I got this finished before the new year. I thank you guy so much for sticking by my story, regardless of the long pauses between updates and thank you guys so much for the reviews.

Ok so here's the part you've been waiting for. Mori is going to be the one Ryoku will end up with. I apologize to all those who wanted Kyoya, it's just If I wright Kyoya then he will seem really out of character and would ruin the story. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but again I apologize.

Please review, fallow, or favorite, if you liked the story so far and I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, Hanuka, or Kwanzaa and I wish you a happy New Year.