A/N: Thanks to all those who are still reading and reviewing. I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I am collaborating with another author on a new story so keep an eye out for that. The name of it is going to be Anything But Ordinary…we should be posting it in a couple days. Thanks again!
It was a day later and Spencer and Paula slept in the hospital chairs...barely. It was a whole day later and still Paula had not mentioned a thing about Spencer kissing Ashley. It was killing her. She needed to know if she saw. I can't just blurt out and ask, did you see me kissing a girl? If she didn't that would give it away. I don't know. I need to know if she saw, it's killing me.
Spencer needed to know but deep down she hoped her mother saw. That would mean she didn't have to lie anymore. I wish I could just read my mother's thoughts. She has been awfully quiet since.
"Spencer we need to talk," Oh my God, she knows. I'm dead.
"Um, yes mom? What's wrong, is it dad?" Just play it cool, be like nothing happened.
"I saw you kissing Ashley. We need to talk about this."
Spencer's heart sunk, she wanted her mom to know, but she didn't want her to see it in action.
Spencer didn't know how to respond, what was she supposed to say? "Oh..." That was the only word she could manage to come out of her mouth.
"I know you're young and experimenting but you really shouldn't do it in public, Spencer. We are a family always in the news. If a reporter was there...that would have been bad" Paula sternly said.
"This isn't an experiment mom. I like Ashley. I'm gay," I did it. I said it; I told her I was gay.
Paula was shocked, "You can't say that. It's an experiment."
"I'm done lying to everyone and especially myself, I'm gay." Spencer smiled, every time she those words escaped her mouth, she grew happier.
"Keep your voice down, young lady. It's not acceptable. We have an image to uphold, you will continue dating Kyle whether you like it or not. And like hell if you are telling your father. He just had a heart attack for Christ-sakes! If you told him that, his heart would just plain fail. You keep this to yourself." Paula crossed her arms and she was not taking no for an answer.
"So you want me to not be who I am?" Spencer wasn't happy all of a sudden. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
"Spencer, I am asking you to look out for your father. He's going to need us, if you tell him you are gay, it will ruin his entire campaign…his career...and his goal at becoming president. Do you want to ruin his dreams?"
"No, but---" Paula cut her off.
"So, if you have been living a lie...what's a few more?" Paula smirked.
"I--I guess a few more isn't much." Spencer looked at her lap, she felt as if she was back where she started.
"I still love you honey, for who you are. Gay, straight, you are still my little girl. But it's not acceptable in this world, especially in ours." Paula brushed Spencer's hair out of her face, consoling her.
Spencer swatted her hand away, "I can't talk to you right now." Spencer got up and walked away.
Spencer ran to the bathroom and found and empty stall. She just sat there and cried. She didn't know what was worse. Living a lie...or having her mom make her live this lie. She didn't know how much this is killing me. She didn't know the entire Kyle situation. Why would she make me do this? She's probably right, I would kill dad if I told him. His heart is already weak enough. God. Why can't life be easier?
Spencer walked back to the waiting room and she was still somewhat crying.
"Pull yourself together Spencer. Nothing has changed, honey. I may know that you are gay, but I don't. I am pretending you aren't. We can't do this right now, right here. You cannot do this to this family. So stop crying and go in and talk to your father." Paula made Spencer stand up and she gave her a little push towards the door.
Spencer glared back at her mother. She hated her right now.
"There's my beautiful little girl." Arthur smiled as Spencer walked through the door.
"Hi, Dad. How are you feeling?" Spencer inched closer.
"I'll live. I can't wait to get out of this hospital. How are you holding up? You look down, something happen with Kyle?"
Spencer resisted rolling her eyes. She was tired of hearing Kyle's name. "No we are fine. I'm just worried about you." Spencer was worried about her father, but she was also upset about the whole Ashley, Paula thing, she wanted so badly to tell him.
"Honey, you don't have to worry about me. I am only stuck in here for two more days then I get out. You don't have to stay here; you can go to school and stuff. Hang out with your friends. I'm going to be just fine." Arthur smiled and grabbed Spencer's hand.
"I know, but I want to be here for you dad and I always will be." Spencer smiled.
"Same here, I am here for whatever you need. We can talk about anything, Spencer; I want you do know that. I know I am your father, and it's not cool to talk to me about teenager things...but you can talk to me about anything."
Spencer smiled and felt like her father was acting odd. He never talked like this. Maybe his heart attack has changed his way of thinking. I hope, 'cause I can't hold this gay thing in any longer. I have to for now, my mother is right. It would probably kill him, but I can't do this much longer. I love Ashley too much.
"Spencer, you in there?"
"Yeah, sorry dad. Just thinking." Spencer stared out of the hospital window. She wanted to be next to Ashley, she needed the comfort right now.
"No need to be sorry. Why don't you go home, get some rest, and come back later." Arthur smiled.
"You sure?"
"Yes, now go, before I force you out of my room. Get some rest. I'll be fine."
"Thanks Dad," Spencer leaned in a gave Arthur a kiss on the cheek, "I'll be back tonight."
Spencer left the room, grabbed her sweater, and started to walk out.
"Where are you going young lady?"
I hate when she calls me young lady, it feels like she is talking down to me. "Dad told me to go home and rest, and that is what I am doing." Spencer continued to inch away from her mother.
"Fine, be back tonight. I don't want you gone long." Paula walked closer to Spencer, grabbed her arm, and forced a cheek kiss onto her.
Spencer scoffed and walked out the door to her car. She picked up her phone and called Ashley. When Ashley picked up the phone she was whispering.
"Hello?" Ashley said in a whisper.
"Why are we whispering?" Spencer said back in a whisper.
"I'm in class right now. Everything okay?"
"Oh sorry, I didn't know. I just needed to talk to you, I -- needed to talk. But come by after school. I am heading home for a while."
"Say no more. This class was boring anyways. See you soon." Click.
"You don't have to--" Spencer tried to get out that she didn't have to ditch school, but it was too late Ashley had already hung up.
Ashley arrived over at Spencer's house and she let herself in. She made her way up to Spencer's bedroom. Spencer smiled at the sight of Ashley, she couldn't help it.
"You didn't have to ditch school. It wasn't that important."
"But I wanted to, and yes you are important to me." Ashley smiled and made her way over to the bed and sat next to Spencer. "So what's bothering you?"
Spencer blurted it out, "My mom saw us kissing."
Ashley was shocked, "And...?"
"She knows now, I told her I was gay. I felt so good saying it too...but she says I can't come out to my dad. She said I have to continue dating Kyle, she said it's not right for the family." Spencer fell into Ashley's lap.
"That's fucked up, Spence." Ashley ran her fingers through Spencer's hair. She missed this.
Spencer picked up her head, "I--I don't know what to do. I can't tell my father yet, he just had a heart attack, and I don't want to make it worse. At least my mom knows right?"
Ashley smiled, "Sure, you're going to break up with Kyle though, right?"
Spencer looked into Ashley's eyes; she knew these next words would hurt her. "I---I can't. My mother...said I can't. And if I do, because I want to so bad, he will show that tape. And my father definitely can't take that in his condition."
Ashley was trying to hold back her rage. She needed to; she needed to be there for Spencer through a time like this. "Fine. I'll be here for you Spencer, but I can't be here for you like that. I'll be your friend, but nothing more. Not until you break up with Kyle, come out to your father, whatever."
"I understand. I'm going to tell my dad soon. Just he's in the hospital I can't yet. Plus, he seemed changed in the hospital; he might accept it after all. When he was talking to me lying on that hospital bed, he just seemed...different."
Ashley smiled. She was happy to hear those words. She wanted to finally be with Spencer with nothing holding them back. "I just want us, Spence." Ashley leaned in and kissed Spencer on the forehead.
Spencer closed her eyes, she was happy. Knowing that Ashley was sticking around while all of this blows over made her feel amazing, happy even. She hasn't felt this comforted and happy in weeks. "I'm going to take a quick shower, I need one. You'll still be out here when I'm done?" Spencer asked with her pleading eyes, she hoped she would say yes.
"I'm not going anywhere." Ashley smiled and made herself comfortable on the bed.
Spencer smiled and headed to her shower. She heard her phone ring, "Hey can you answer that for me?" Spencer yelled through the bathroom door.
"Sure..." Ashley picked up the phone and answered.
"Hello?"
"Spencer, when are you---wait. Who is this? That hello didn't sound like Spencer." Paula said abruptly.
"This is Ashley. She's in the shower..." Shit maybe I shouldn't of said that, she may think something bad of it.
"This is her mother. Tell her I called. Ashley? I think you need to stay away from my daughter. She doesn't need you as a distraction right now."
"I will tell her you called and I'm not going anywhere." Click. Ashley tossed the phone to the other side of the bed.
Ashley didn't want to make things harder for Spencer and her mother. But someone had to tell her off. If Spencer couldn't stand up for herself, she was going to. Ashley enjoyed a challenge and she wasn't going anywhere.
